January 2006

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January 31, 2006

Come On Baby, In Our Dreams We Can Live Our Misbehavior

I'm really sad tonight. Part of this stems from the fact that i got two compliments on my hair today, which is a new thing. Entirely unprecedented in the history of my life, in fact. So i decided to take pictures of myself to post here, but i looked bad in all of them, so i decided against that.

Other contributing factors include:

  1. People seem to be getting married a lot lately. I am not getting married.
  2. Bush is an idiot, but the motherfuckers in Congress still stood and clapped for him on demand. Why can't any of them call him on his bullshit?
  3. There is, i am almost certain, something i'm missing
I used to be a little boy, so old in my shoes.



Fun with Robin, More Fun With South Park, and Credit Where Credit is Due


This film is funny. I'm not going to claim it's hilarious, but it's funny. Especially if, like me, you enjoy this type of humor. I particularly enjoy the depiction of Batman.

Also,

here's the south park version of my friend Frank and his fiancee anne. i believe it's spelled with the "e." I believe it's a reasonable representation, plus i think it's cute (and therefore repulsive) that frank figured out a way to include two characters in the picture. Man, who would have thought that our boy frank would turn into that guy?

Anyway, check out the film.

Oh, also, frank insisted that i give him credit for telling me about the cronic-what-cles of narnia, a.k.a. lazy sunday, skit that i included in this post. I believe that frank was the first to alert me as to that skit. However, he did so (inexplicably) at around 8am. I am not usually awake at 8am and, in a very real sense, i was not awake that morning. Therfore, i forgot about the skit and pretty much everythign else frank told me. Therefore, apologies to frank for neglecting to mention that it was him that changed my world with mr. pibb and red vines equals crazy delicious.

The force will be with you -- always.




Horribly Inappropriate Things I've Said, Part I

Ok, i'm sitting in the atrium, i'm kinda bored. I start talking to this 1L. I tell her that she should not study or care, jokingly. She says she wants a good job. I say she won't get it. She says "why?" I say "because you're a woman." No one laughs.




Circle Yes, No, Maybe

It has long been accepted that law school is high school, part II. This is evidenced by the fact that we have lockers, that there's an incessant rumormill, that people associate in "cliques," and that people seem to be incredibly immature at times. However, i received evidence today that we are, in fact, in some strange law school/middle school hybrid.

I am sitting in Evidence, next to Nidhi. Nidhi then placed a piece of paper next to my computer. I glanced at the piece of paper, then at Nidhi, wondering what the hell was going on. Then i noticed that the piece of paper was folded in half, and that "Bob B." was written on it. Then, to my horror, i realized what was happening: i was being asked to pass a note. In class. In evidence. In law school. But here's the kicker: Bob. B. is in his 50's. So, not only is a note being passed, but it's being passed to a man in his 50's.

I believe things have gone too far.




Shakedown, 1979

So, my favorite band is the Smashing Pumpkins. Towards the end of their career, right around the release of Adore, i believe, they played on VH1's Storyteller's show. It was a decent set, although they didn't play enough songs and i disagreed with the setlist. Anyway, for those not familiar with the format of the show, the whole point is that the artist tells the story behind the song before they play them. I was super excited by the prospect of having Billy Corgan explain the meanings being songs like Bullet With Butterfly Wings and Rhinoceros (explaining the title of Rhinoceros, Billy Corgan once said something vaguely like "well, ok, you used to date this girl, and she lived in this house that had a chandelier you really liked, which reminded you of a mansion you were once in, so you name the song rhinoceros."). Anyway, most of the explanations were ok, but not earth-shattering. However, Corgan explained 1979 in a way that has stuck with me since because it sort of perfectly matched a feeling I've had a lot in my life.

Billy described a time in his youth, perhaps in the year 1979, when he was out for a drive somewhere. And he remembers sitting in the car, waiting for a red light to turn green. And, for him, that moment sort of represented this feeling of sitting there, waiting for something, feeling like you're missing something, all the while being filled with anticipation for something, but having no idea what that something is. He tried to express this feeling in the song 1979. I mean, if you watch that video, it seems like that feeling is right there. I'll always remember the first time i saw that video, sitting in Kenny L.'s apartment. It's stuck in time for me, one of the ultimate moments of nostalgia that my life seems to consist of.

This was all brought back to me tonight because of something Jody said at dinner. Something about how she felt that she was missing something. I identify, i think, because i feel the same way. No matter what i'm doing, who i'm with, or how much fun i'm having, i always feel like there's something else i could be or should be doing. Maybe we all feel this way, hence the expression "the grass is always greener . . . ," but i wonder.

There's not really any point to any of this; time will continue it's inexorable march. Still, i wonder if Billy ever got what he was waiting for, or if i'm doomed to feel like i'm missing out for all eternity.




January 30, 2006

Stranger Than Fiction . . .

Man, there are so many things wrong with this story, i don't even know where to begin.

I mean . . . the primary issue, of course, is that the woman was 56. If you've reached the point in your fetishistic fantasies that you're paying someone to do this stuff to you, why not pay for an attractive younger lady. Unless age is part of the fetish, i suppose, but that just makes things strange.

Aside from that, though, there are so many systemic failures and idiots involved in this story (i count at least four individual idiots and one systemic idiot. The individual idiots are: the dominatrix, the dominatrix's boyfriend, the dominatrix's client, and, astonishingly, the biggest idiot is clearly the prosecutor. The systemic idiot is the "investigators" who didn't save their fucking notes). Morons all around. And bad people, too.

Fucking a.




South Park Ismael . . .

So, i guess this is me as i would appear on south park. Please note that i wouldn't normally wear a Metallica t-shirt, but they were the only viable option, in terms of band logos.

Be sure to make yourself in the South Park style.

Thanks to Ryan and Chrystal for the link.




January 29, 2006

Which Came First: Blogging or Life?

Apologies all around for the short period between posts. But, goddamn, i was over at Althouse's blog (see links section) and read her latest entry, Contemplating change. In it, she discusses the possibility of selling her old house and moving to a condo on the square. Now, whether or not she does this is almost completely immaterial to me. However, it's her final statement:

What an overwhelming task it would be to deal with all these things! And yet....I could blog about it.
That prompts me to post again.

In my post about our epic game of risk, i discussed Eugene's approach to the game: do what you want, then see if what you've done matches up with any of your objectives. Clearly, this is backwards thinking. I believe Althouse has done a similar reversal with her life. I live my life, and when something intersting happens, i blog about it. However, Althouse does things in order to blog. that's just stupid.

And if you think she's kidding, just wait till she moves into the fucking condo and blogs about it. You'll be sorry.




Pictures and Assorted Destruction

So, as you've all most likely already heard, we went to the monster truck ralley on Friday night. This picture pretty much demonstrates the awesomeness. In case you're wondering, that's a 10,000 pound, 2,000 horse power monster truck flying over some pathetic normal cars.


Should you require more evidence that monster truck rallies kick ass, i submit this: the world's only jet-powered jeep. That fucking thing had 1,500 horse power and it weighed - are you ready for this - only 800 pounds. For those of you playing along at home, that's a power-to-weight ratio of 1.875 hp/lb. Compare that with Lamborghini Gallardo, which clocks in at .16 hp/lb and the Dodge Viper SRT-10, which clocks in at .15 hp/lb. The jet jeep is 100 times better. damn.

In other news, this is a picture of my apartment. Note the Gibson SG, the ESP, the Marshall JCM-800 (the same kind of amp that Billy Corgan used back in the Siamese Dream era) and the cat, named Smash. One guess as to where that name comes from. This picture, along with the next two, was taken from my kick-ass new RAZR V3c phone. Oh man, it's awesome.

Chris: he's incorrigible.

Here's Cristina's full house getting destroyed by Ryan's quad kings. What a glorious moment. A worse beat even than when my pocket 3s turned into a full house on the flop, Laurence went all in with pocket Aces, lost all his money save for 5 cents and then stained my carpet with sweet and sour sauce.


And, finally, an aerial view of some people looking through the facebook at Ryan's apartment after the post-poker bar encounter. Ah, were we ever so young.

Now, it's time to make some stir fry, go to the library, and read some professional responsibilities. Apparently, you can't lie to your client and you can't have sex with your client. Nor can you lie to your client in order to have sex with them. What a strange, beautiful world we live in . . .




January 28, 2006

The Inevitable Post

Filibuster. Do it. Now.

Alito might be evil. I don't know. But we can't take that chance.

And as for hurting your chances of regaining a majority in November, there are more important things. Under almost no imaginable circumstances are the Republicans going to win the presidency in '08. Bush has used up his "policital capitol" and the Republican party is starting to implode under the weight of its own corruption. Given a viable Democratic candidate, the Republican party has no chance.

So, we've got this bitch on lock-down in 2008. Just two years after the mid-term elections. Whatever damage they've wrought, we can un-wrought. In the balance, though, is a potential 30+ year rule of the Supreme Court which, to be perfectly honest, will have a much larger impact on America than having the Republicans control the Senate for another two years.

Unless Bush dissolves the Senate and begins to rely on fear - fear of this battlestation - to keep the local systems in line. That would be bad.




January 26, 2006

Of "Never" and Executive Power

First, an explanation. The Spanish word for "never" is jamas (my spelling could be incorrect). Jamas is pronounced in the exact same way as "Hamas," the fringe organization that just won a majority in the Palestinian parliament.

I wonder what will happen now that Hamas will be in control of the Palestinian Authority. Hamas has refused to redefine its goals and has, in the past, expressed the belief that Israel should be eliminated. How much of this and other goals Hamas will accomplish, or even attempt, remains to be seen. What i find interesting is the democratic question: did democracy work or fail?

On the one hand, the whole point of a democracy is that the people get what they want, to some degree. Here, Hamas ran in a legitimate election and, as far as i can tell, there's been no evidence that there was any tampering with the results. Therefore, the people are getting what they voted for. In this respect, then, democracy has worked exactly as it should, even though a terrorist organization is now in control.

So how could the result be a failure? Is it possible that the majority of Palestinian voters are so ill-informed that they unwittingly voted for the terrorists? This is almost absolutely not the case. So now we're left with the reality that the Palestinians, tired of their previous leadership, elected some extremists. That might be a failure in one sense. This could be an example of the majority choosing something that's bad for it. Already, several leaders of state have expressed hesitancy to deal with the Hamas leadership. The protracted peace process is almost certain to deteriorate even further. It's unclear what sort of social reforms Hamas will enact. Therefore, in some senses, the majority has shot itself in the foot.

But even this is not a failure. Democracy gives us the right to shoot ourselves in the foot. It gives the people the power, at least the power to say who they want to be represented by. This is a lesson that should be remembered here at home, where President Bush believes that he can "resist" potential attempts by Congress to limit his ability to spy on American citizens. W should remember that his job is to enforce laws, not to make them. And, more fundamentally, he should remember that he is bound by the same laws as the rest of us and, i would say, should be held to an even higher standard. In Palestine, members of Fatah, the previously powerful party, resigned to make room for their Hamas successors. In America, our leaders have grown so arrogant as to believe that they can overstep the bounds of law and the Constitution. In Palestine, leaders voluntary gave up their offices to potential terrorists because it was the will of the people. In America, we are asked to forget the laws our representatives have passed to protect us from -- what else -- the terrorists.

I guess the more interesting question is "In which system has democracy truly failed?"




The Grademan Commeth

So, got my first grade today - Land Use Controls. It was a decent grade. The problem is that i was sorta depending on it as my tentpole grade, seeing as how i totally rocked the profs' previous class.

Now i have to wait out Trusts and Estates and Business Organizations. They'll be up tomorrow, i guess. We'll see how i did. Probably about average.




January 25, 2006

I Am a Mercedes . . .

Following the lead of the formidable law blogger herself, i have taken the "Which Sports Car Are You?" test. My results:

I'm a Mercedes SLK!

You appreciate the finer things in life. You have a split personality - wild or conservative, depending on your mood. Wherever you go, you like to travel first class. Luxury, style, and fun - who could ask for more?

Take the Which Sports Car Are You? quiz.

let me know how yours turns out.

EDIT: i have fixed the link, it will now take you to the "Which Sports Car Are You?" quiz, instead of that oh-so-helpful blogspot page informing you that i'm an idiot.




Keep on Rockin' in the Free World

So, if you're interested in seeing me sing the Neil Young song, go here. Click "next," then scroll about three quarters of the way through.

Man, that was a good night. I'll post pictures tomorrow.




January 24, 2006

Racial Pride is Stupid

So, i was looking around on thefacebook.com instead of reading insurance law. Anyway, i stumbled on someone's profile, and it stuck me: racial pride is dumb. I'm going to paraphrase Ayn Rand here and assert that racial pride is basically taking credit for other people's accomplishments. (I should also note that, as far as i know, this is the only thing i agree with Ayn Rand on).

Now, let me clarify what i mean here. I don't mean that you can't be proud of who you are. And i'm not saying that part of who you are can't be racially or ethnically motivated. Nor am i saying that it's stupid to be proud of who your parents are, where they came from, their struggles, etc. For example, i am in constant awe of the things my parents have managed to do with their limited means. However, that's a long way from saying that i'm proud to be Mexican because i'm Mexican. I'm proud to be Mexican because i'm proud of my parents, and my parents happen to have been born in Mexico. I'm sure the same thing would apply if my parents had gone through the same things but been from some other country.

Moreover, i don't think there's value, at all, in being Mexican as opposed to other ethnicities. And, finally, i believe it is absolutely stupid for someone to claim that they know something significant about me simply because they know i'm Mexican. Knowing where my parents came from doesn't tell you anything more about me than where my parents came from. Any additional information that you infer is based on stereotypes, plain and simple.

I am an individual, not a member of a group. and you should be, too.




The Triumvirate of Crap or Charlie Strikes Again

So, my rant against Charlie 105.1 continues.

Here's what they played on my drive home today, in this order:

Peace of Mind, by Boston
We're Not Gonna Take It, by Twisted Sister Blue
(Da Ba Dee), by Eiffel 65
Now, if that's not a triumvirate of completely random but thoroughly crappy songs, i don't know what is.




Letterman and O'Reilly

Don't get me wrong. I fucking hate David Letterman. And his little dog, Paul Schafer, too. If i could, i would jump through the tv and kick their motherfucking asses. Still, this video shows that even Letterman can not suck every now and then. It's a little old, but entertaining nonetheless. I hadn't seen it, but perhaps the more savvy readers have. In any event, enjoy it. Then post a comment with your own rip at O'Reilly. Or Letterman. Or Schafer who, in classic form, does nothing but parrot Letterman. God, i hate Paul Schafer.

Correction:
So, i was looking at the entry for David Letterman's sidekick on wikipedia between classes, and it turns out that his name is spelled "Paul Shaffer." I suspected that i might have been spelling his name wrong. Whatever. I will not be correcting his name. why, you ask? because he sucks that much.




January 23, 2006

Of Rhetoric and Abortion

So, it has been 33 years since the Supreme Court decided the (in)famous case of Roe v. Wade, 410 U.S. 113 (1973), where it decided the U.S. Constitution protects a woman's right to have an abortion. There are a million different things that could be said about the controversial decision, and the few that i'm going to say here are, i'm sure, fairly unoriginal.

First of all, i remember the first time i heard about abortion. It was sometime in elementary school. I can't exactly remember what grade i was in. The teacher presented the case without much bias, actually. Or, at the very least, not any bias that my young mind could detect. She presented the rhetoric, too. Those who opposed abortion were "pro-life," and those who supported abortion rights were "pro-choice." What a happy little world, i thought, where we can all be pro something. Back in the day, my undevelopled little mind saw the issue fairly simply: "i used to be a baby. why would you kill a baby? i'm pro-life!" Clearly, this is a huge oversimplification.

As time passed, my opinion would swing to the other side: a woman's right to decide what's going on in and with her body surely supercedes the "rights" of a few cells somewhere in her belly. But this, too, is an oversimplification.

So, where do i stand on the whole thing?

First, i think it's important to recognize that the issue is not cut and dry. It is not a simple issue to decide and i, personally, think that anyone who thinks otherwise is falling victim to the oversimplifications i, too, have fallen victim to. I think it's also important that, while many people on both sides of the debate have used the issue as a wedge, a political pawn, there are a great number of people on both sides that believe the way they do in good faith, and for very good and admirable reasons.

On the pro-life side, it seems clear to me that if you believe that life and the soul adhere at creation, then abortion is something to be opposed. I am not religious (i believe in the soul, although i shy away from using that word. i prefer "mind," which, for me, means about the same thing. For me, the mind, the ability to think, feel, reason, etc., on the level that humans do, is what sets us apart), but this view point does not strike me as immediately unreasonable. After all, even scientists can't tell us definitively when life begins. But this view need not be based in religion. The argument that the Constitution protects all Americans, and fetuses are Americans, so the Constitution protects them is, also, not immediately unreasonable.

On the pro-choice side, as i said earlier, it would be pretty much unfair to say that the rights of a single cell, or of two, four, eight, or sixteen cells, should override the right of a woman to decide whether or not to have a child. That argument satisfies me for cases where the abortion would happen on the day of conception, or two days later, or two weeks later. But things get tricky when you get closer and closer to the due date. Moreover, as Katherine pointed out to me, the right to an abortion ensures that a woman is able to choose if and when to have children, giving her more control over her destiny, career, sex life, and life in general which, in turn, means that she is more likely to be able to partake of the sorts of things that men take for granted.

But, of course, none of these interests can override the interest of protecting a sentient being's life. So the question becomes, again, when this amorphous blob of tissue becomes something more.

That is a question i cannot purport to answer.

What i can address is the rhetoric on each side. Pro-choice activists are not necessarily death mongers. They don't want to mandate abortions for everyone. They don't want to end the family. They simply want to protect the interests of potential mothers from legislation propogated largly by men who are, by definition, immune from the problem. Pro-choice activists see the balance as one of social progress for women against the rights of something that can't really be seen (in their opinion) as a person. Unsurprisingly, the balance comes out in favor of abortion rights.

Pro-life activists, similarly, are not necessarily anti-woman. They don't want women to continue to earn sub-par wages or to be locked out of high power or high paying positions. They're not necessarily bad people. They just see the issue as being between the rights of one person and another. One person just happens to be a fetus. Unsurprisingly, they believe that abortion is murder.

The point of all of this is to say that neither side is clearly wrong or clearly correct. As always, the resolution (and the right answer) probably lies somewhere in the middle. The biggest problem in this country today is nothing more than a failure to see eye to eye. Both sides of the aisle are to blame. It's easy to say that the fundamentalists are the only ones who are unwilling to compromise, but liberals have their own irrational moments, as well.

In the end, we're in this together, and we've gotta try to get along. Have your opinion, fight for it, challenge it, defend it. But try to understand the other side, too.

For my own part, i believe abortion is something a woman should be able to choose.



January 22, 2006

A Few Housekeeping Issues . . .

Ok. A few things:

1. It has been brought to my attention that the comments feature on this blog wasn't working. Thanks to Chrystal, that has now been remedied. Feel free to leave comments, offensive or otherwise.

2. I'm adding a few links. The first is to legal badger, which, as near as i can tell, is a few law students ranting about law school. It's entertaining. The second is to Ann Althouse's blog. Althouse is a professor at the University of Wisconsin Law School, which i attend. I don't really get hers, but here it is anyway.

3. The correct order in which the Planeteers named their powers in order to summon Captain Planet was: Earth, fire, wind, water, heart. The heart power was, by far, the gayest.

4. Above, when i say that what i have to say is generally more important than anything other people have to say, i was joking. Keep your eyes open, there might be several jokes on this blog, although they have been cleverly disguised.

5. All spelling errors are on purpose.

That is all.




"I Return to You Now, at the Turn of the Tide."

Well i will be goddamned. The Smashing Pumpkins might actually reunite. This would be the most amazing comeback since Gandalf returned as Gandalf the White. And, they're going to be playing at Coachella, which is an amazing music festival out in middle of the Southern California desert. Last time i was there, Beck played an acoustic, all request set to an overcrowded tent full of people, the Pixies rocked the place, and Radiohead closed out the night on an unbelievably high note. Pretty awesome times with PJ, Lauren, and Gen. Then, in the parking lot, it took us literally three hours to move ten feet, so we said "fuck it" and slept in the lot that night. Good times, good times.

Now, my favorite band - ever - might actually return. For me, this is better than Jesus coming back and starting up the thousand years of peace or war or whatever the fuck's supposed to happen.

I still remember the first time i heard about The Smashing Pumpkins. It was from Kenny Levya. He pulled out a copy of Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness and showed it to me. I remember holding the double cd and being confused. I had never seen a cd like that before. And the name intrigued me. It was 1995 and i was 14 years old. For some reason, i had been almost completely oblivious to music at that point. I owned Dookie and Smash, and those were awesome cds. But Mellon Collie was something else. Melodic, yet hard. It was awesome. Due to that one moment in history, almost certainly completely insignificant to Kenny, i am who i am.

Man, that was ten years ago. Good god.

On Another Note . . .

It has been brought to my attention that there's nothing "funny" on this site. Therefore, i'm going to put up some amazing links. The first is to a real life pokemon battle. That's kinda funny. The second is to a classic scene from Star Wars: Episode IV: A New Hope, but with a twist. The third is to something from a recent episode of SNL that, against all odds, doesn't suck. Fourth, Real Ultimate Power. You pretty much have to go there to understand. Explore the site. I recommend going to "pump up" and reading . . . whatever it is you find there. The site was shown to me by my friend Zachar, the most amazing person ever. Fifth, a parody of Real Ultimate Power made by my friend Laurence. I hope you find some of this stuff amusing.

- red five, standing by




January 17, 2006

Another Semester . . .

So, i have my first class of the semester, insurance law, in about 7 hours. Why am i still awake, you ask? Well, because that's just what i do. Smash (one of my cats, the other being Buttercup) is freaking out for some reason. usually he sleeps when i do, but lately i haven't been sleeping before 4am. Oh well. he'll get tired eventually. As for me, i'm going to pay the price tomorrow. It's class till about 3, then cite checking till midnight in an attempt to get done with that thing by Wednesday sometime. We'll see how that goes.

Some days are easier than others, i suppose, and i feel like i've had a string of shitty ones. That's what happens when you're alive. So, no choice, really, but to keep going. Even though, at this point, what i could really go for is a break from life.

Someday, i will be a better person.




January 16, 2006

"We Play Everything"?

Ok. We all like Nirvana, the band. That was a good band. Once, i was watching Saturday Night Live, it was an episode from the early 90's. The musical guest was some band called Dee-Light or some such shit. Point is, they sucked - hard. And i thought to myself: is this what music was like before Nirvana?

Anyway, Nirvana kicks ass. So, generally, if a radio station plays Nirvana, they're going to get the nod from me. But, ok, what if i told you that, in addition to playing Nirvana, this radio station also played Foo Fighters. Well, fuck, that's starting to sound like a pretty average alt. rock station. I'll listen to that! Fuck yeah.

Hold on, though. What if they also played Wham! Hmmm... wait a minute, you're thinking. Do you mean Wham! as in George Michael's boyband? Yes, i tell you, i mean that Wham! Kinda strange, huh?

So, now, this radio station's sucked you in with some Heart-Shaped Box, which it followed up with Everlong. Then it sorta confused you with Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go. But, that's ok, maybe it's just this DJ has strange tastes. Let's see what's next.

Mrs. Robinson? Simon and Garfunkel? Ok, next?

Nickelback, Boy George, Fleetwood Mack, Heuy Lewis and the News, Stone Temple Pilots, Zeppelin, Progressive Jazz Fusion shit, Blue Oyster Cult, Creed, Mommas and the Poppas, Michael Jackson, Elvis, Bowie, Linda Ronstadt . . .

And then you understand. The station's slogan is "We play everything!"

Oh, i see. Instead of filtering out the crap, you're just going to play it all. Like some guy's iPod on shuffle. The problem is that i never listen to my iPod on shuffle. Why? well, because while i've got great songs like "Rebellion (Lies)" by the Arcade Fire on there, i also have shitty songs like "Bugs" by Pearl Jam because i have the entire Vitalogy album. Not to mention all those god-awful skits on the Outkast cds. The point is, an iPod on shuffle sucks. And, therefore, so does a radio station designed to emulate an iPod on shuffle.

Fucking a.




January 14, 2006

World Domination . .

Ok, second straight night of Risk at Ryan's place. Just yesterday, i talked to PJ, and we lamented that neither of our new group of friends was into Risk. Well, i bought Risk yesterday, took it to Ryan's, and Cole, Chris, Ryan and myself played two rounds of mission Risk. Chris won the first, i won the second. Turns out, everyone loved the game because today, when we were talking about what to do, Cole suggested Risk and everyone went along. i was excited.

So, i took the board to Ryan's and we set it up. The first round was a bit strange, since eugene was added to the mix. In classic Eugene style, he played mostly to enjoy himself, rather than win or do well. That's what he's about, though. so, good for him.

The first game went to Cole, even though i controlled 3 continents, comprising the entire southern hemisphere.

The second game was much more hard-fought. Eugene managed (somehow) to take Europe and hold it for most of the game. Unfortunately, one of his missions was to control Asia, and pretty much everyone else was fighting it out in the East. I had a dismal showing, and was eliminated. Chris, too, was eliminated after evacuating his stronghold in Australia to Cole, cutting across Asia, jumping over to Alaska and then heading South to Argentina. He didn't protect his rear, however, and he was quickly put to rout. Finally, the stage was set: Ryan was one simple condition (eliminate 12 enemy units) away from victory. Cole was one impossible condition (control at least 22 of the 42 territories) away from victory. Eugene held Europe, but had little chance of accomplishing any of his goals, least of all controling Asia at the end of his turn. (Eugene seemed to be playing without a strategy. I think he was doing whatever seemed fun, then seeing if he had done anything that matched the conditions on his cards. He also refused to break treaties.) After an ill-fated yet heroic effort to neutralize Ryan's forces, the game came down to a few dice rolls to see if Ryan would be able to destroy enough opposing forces in order to win. In the end, Ryan succeeded. Now, everyone (except Eugene) has won once.

Who needs girls, anyway?




January 11, 2006

Interesting Facts From my Paper

Here are some things which may or may not be interesting about my article:

Title: For Fear of a Man and His Donkey: Morals, Laws, and the Fundamental Right to Polygamy
Number of characters, counting spaces: 51,144
Number of characters, not counting spaces: 42,790
Number of spaces: 8,534
Number of words: 8,118
Number of lines: 732
Number of Footnotes: 183
Number of paragraphs: 88
Length without footnotes: 32 pages
Total length: 42 pages
Number of Parts: 7
Margins: 2 inches on left, 1.25 inches on right (as required)
Number of slams on James Dobson: 1
Number of Smashing Pumpkins quotes: 1
Chance of publication: About .25 (1 in 4)
Desire to do it again: 0
This is officially the longest thing I've ever written. I'm really proud of it, we'll see if it gets published. I would geek out if it did. Now my only thing to worry about before school starts is my cite checking packet, which shouldn't be too bad. I hope.

In other news, I was supposed to get my DVD-A version of Beethoven's 9th symphony today via ups. apparently, the guy came at around 3, while i was sound asleep, and i missed him. Now, because I'm without a car (the seXterra's in the shop), i have to wait until tomorrow to get the DVD. More importantly, though, my fued with the fucker at the UPS store prohibits me from being able to go to the UPS place. Yet another consequence of my being an asshole.

oh well.






January 10, 2006

It's Fucking Done

At long last, my absence from the blogosphere has come to an end! I'm done with the paper! YES!

check back soon for some interesting facts about my comment for the Wisconsin Law Review.

Oh Motherfuckin' Yeah!

It's time for a night out with the MBEs.




January 5, 2006

Potentially Entirely Unhelpful Analogies, Part II

What i meant to say:
I don't mind if people touch food i'm going to eat with their bare hands.

What i said:
Something to the effect of: "Look, it's not like people are sitting their with their hands up their asses fondling their own shit."

Did the point come across?
The above comment was, itself, an attempt to explain a previous comment in which i asked whether anyone had recently handled shit with their bare hands. In addition, there had previously been a discussion about the untouchable caste having to deal with sewers without protective equipment. So, basically, my comment was metaconfusing.




Of Polygamy and Procrastination

So, I'm sitting at Barriques' with Katherine and Nidhi in an attempt to get work done because the FUCKING law school library closed at 6. This, my friends, is a travesty. I've got a fucking forty-page paper to write, and they're closing the library at 6. That's bullshit. Especially when you combine it with the fact that i'm waking up at about 1 or 2 every day. So far, i've got about 14 pages done. My paper's probably going to end up being about 50-60 pages long. And it's due Tuesday. I'm fucking screwed.

Anyway, the Barriques' thing. Barriques' is this wine bar on the "outer square." It's the cool new place to hang out and do homework, apparently. I hadn't been here before. We're talking a lot. The productivity level is very low. Katherine is drunk. I asked Katherine to proofread my Scalia section. But we're all just talking, so there's little or no proofreading going on. I can't blame her, though. We're talking about cool stuff. I've gotten a few sentences done, and some research, too. So, it's not a complete waste of time.

I'll just have to buckle down tomorrow. And the next day. And the day after that. And the day after that. 10 pages a day. I can do it. Even though i was at the library for 2 hours today and got about 1.5 pages done.

Godspeed to me.




January 4, 2006

"They Can Be a Great People, Kal-El, They Wish to Be. They Only Lack the Light to Show the Way . . ."

So, on June 30th, 2006, Superman Returns will hit theatres. I, as a lifelong Superman fan, am incredibly excited. You should check out the trailer at the official Superman Returns webpage. The trailer really does kick ass. You can also see a bunch of pictures and read lots about the movie here.

Now, personally, Christopher Reeve will always be Superman. So, i had mixed feelings about this new guy, Brandon Routh, wearing the cape and tights. However, the first time i saw this picture, i was highly encouraged. That's Superman, i thought. I was so encouraged, in fact, that i tried to find a Superman desktop for my computers that wouldn't make me look gay. Ultimately, i had to settle on just having the Superman "S" because, generally speaking, having a picture of a guy in tights on your desktop makes you look gay, even if it is Superman. Now, every new picture that has come out has strengthened my faith in this movie. That changed today, however. Look at this. That picture bothers me. The pose. The cape, part of which is clearly CGI. The neck . . . none of it looks like Superman. I hope that this single picture isn't the sign of a downturn in the goodness of this film project. That would make me sad.

Still, i have faith. The director is Bryan Singer. I've loved every single one of his movies that i've seen. The first one i saw was X-Men, which was fantastic. It was also, i thought, an excellent mix of being faithful to the comics while making the X-Men viable for the big screen. Mr. Singer followed that up with X-Men 2, which i thought surpassed the first one in quality and goodness, though the title of "best superhero movie ever" still goes to Spiderman 2. Then, after finding out that Singer was directing Superman Returns, i decided to watch one of his other movies, The Usual Suspects, which i had been intending to see for a long time, anyway. It was excellent. So, i have a lot of faith in this movie.

Anyway, let's hope the movie kicks ass.

Still, that picture sucks.




Scalia's Dissent Unraveled

Ok, so, i finished writing the second part of my Law Review article, the part that deals with Scalia's dissent. I'm sorta afraid that it's crap. However, i at least now have a roadmap for my article. From my whiteboard:

P might be prohibited. To prohibit it, courts must give reasons. If they do, then -P. If this is true, then homophobes can't argue that G -> P -> D. So, there is no slippery slope. Scalia's "parade of horribles" doesn't work.

"P" means polygamy, "G" means gay marriage, and "D" means man marrying a donkey. You can credit James Dobson for D.

In other news . . .

12 of the 13 miners trapped after an explosion in West Virgina were found alive. That makes me happy.




Goddamnit . . .

In my last post, i said that i was happy that 12 of the 13 miners in West Virginia were found alive. As it turns out, that information was incorrectly reported by the news services. Only one of the miners survived. I won't be linking to news items from Yahoo anymore. I'm sorry for the mistake, both my own and the mistake that was made in West Virginia that led to what i can only imagine was unbelievable pain for the families.

Fuck, man, i don't know . . .




January 3, 2006

Really, I'm Going to Get Shit Done

So, my apartment is still a mess, not much progress has been made on my paper (fucking library closed at 6 today, which was a pain in the ass because i didn't get there until 5:30), Smash still hasn't gotten his rabies shot, i haven't called the doctor about Buttercup's surgery and my car remains in shambles. And now i'm going to watch one episode (just one, i swear) of firefly. After that, i will finish writing about Scalia's dissent in Romer v. Evans if it kills me.

This Onion article strongly reminds me of my life. Except that the dude has a girlfriend and i do not. Otherwise, it's pretty much on target.




So Ugly, I Couldn't Stop Staring

Ok. Sorry, i had to put this up. The PopoZao song was on my desktop, and i saw it, clicked on it, and i'm currently listening to it. I just can't believe how bad this song is. This might even be worse than the stupid "this shit is bananas" song by gwen stefani. At least that song has a Queen reference. This PopoZao song is just . . . i don't know how to even express in words how bad it is.

And yet, i can't stop listening to it. It's like that fucking Russian girl at the bowling alley the other day. Her face was so ugly, i just couldn't stop staring. That's what this song is like. It's like a car accident where everyone slows down to get a better look and then there's a traffic jam.

God, i would give anything to have been in the production booth when they played back this song for the first time and everyone looked at each other and said "yeah, that's it! we've got it! the song that will launch Kevin's career!"

Fuck




Not Exactly a Lightweight . . .

So, i watched Syriana with some people tonight. I don't think i understood it, really. In fact, i know i didn't. And, to paraphrase Roger Ebert, to the extent that i do understand, i don't care. The plot was really convoluted, and not for any reason that i could see. i don't see any reason why the narrative couldn't have been told in a much more coherent way. I do, however, see an advantage: the fucking movie would have made sense. As it stands, the movie was almost a complete waste of time. I never cared about the characters or any of the plot developments, and the climax left me feeling unsatisfied. I'm not exactly sure what the message was, and a lot of the things in the movie seemed completely pointless, like the black attorney's father. Or whoever that drunk guy was.

Afterwards, we went for a beer, and then we watched The Big Lebowski, an altogether amazing film. One of the most quotable films ever, right up there with Office Space. Definitely a must-watch.

Now, it's off to bed.

Good night, and good luck




January 2, 2006

Potentially Entirely Unhelpful Analogies, Part I.

What i was trying to say:
Novelty does not, in and of itself, make something good.

What i said:
"There's never been a book written about me jerking off into a tin can and then swallowing it."

Did the point come across?:
No. Not at all.




"State of Fear" and Unsuckable

So, I just finished reading Michael Crichton's book, State of Fear. I bought it at LAX so that I would have something to read on the flight home from visiting the family for Christmas. I bought State of Fear even though I had just started Al Franken's new book, The Truth (With Jokes) because I was in the mood for a light-hearted romp of a book. Having read all of Dan Brown's books on my last two trips home (by the way, he's basically been writing the same book over and over again) I felt it was time to return to Mr. Crichton.

Having been in basically a media bubble for the past year and a half (oh, the joys of law school . . .) I hadn't heard anything about the book. Therefore, I picked it up based on the reviews calling it something like an edge of your seat thriller. Boy, was that a joke.

It turns out that the book sucks. Hard. Really hard. Here's Ismael's synopsis:
Here's a pathetic, wussy main character. He's surrounded by hot bitches. He believes in global warming. Here's Kenner, some know-it-all. (When you imagine Kenner's voice in your head (I do this with all book characters) imagine a voice you really like, because you'll be hearing it a lot.) Cool, now Kenner's gonna talk about how global warming is a myth. And he's gonna offer citations (you will be provided with the citations as footnotes). Here's some plot. Don't worry about it, though, it's not important and it doesn't make much sense. Here's a character that's a stereotypical Hollywood actor. He, too, believes in global warming. Unfortunately, he, like everyone else in the book who believes in global warming, is a complete idiot. It's ok, though, because he gets eaten by cannibals. No, seriously. I kept expecting a plot twist. The plot begged for one. But the rich guy clearly faked his death. I mean, there wasn't a body! It was a foregone conclusion. Oh well, I guess the wussy guy saved the world . . . somehow. And got the bitch (the hot one). And global warming doesn't exist. And Michael Crichton is a racist.

Here's a webpage dealing with the factual errors in the book:
http://www.nrdc.org/globalWarming/fcrichton.asp

And here's a review from Grist magazine:
http://www.grist.org/advice/books/2005/02/01/roberts-fear/index.html

Point is, stay the fuck away.

On another note . . .

I've discovered that Kevin Federline released his first single. The single is called "PopoZao," which, according to this Wikipedia article is "Portuguese slang for a large butt." I tried to find the full lyrics to the song, but they seem to be unavailable. Here's the closest I could get:

in Portuguese it means bring your ass on the floor and move it real fast I wanna see your kitty and a little bit of titty wanna know where I go when I'm in your city girl don't you worry about all the dough coz a cat is coming straight out of the know (?) ready rock them shows all the way to Rio (?)

bring that brazil booty on the floor
up, down, all around
work that shit to this funky sound
wanna see what I'm gonna owe
vai descendo o popozão

ass on me, baby ass on me
po po po po popozão popozão

I've listened to the song several times, and I'm sad to report that it sucks even worse than State of Fear. We're talking electronic dying whale sounds bad. This is greatly disappointing to me because, as i explained to friends earlier today, I've always seen my role in life as similar to that of Elijah Price in Unbreakable, although without the part where i kill thousands of innocent people. The point is, i want to go out into the world and discover something that no one expected. It's no fun for Kev-Fed's song to suck - we all expected it to suck, just like we all expected Doom, starring the Rock, to suck. But what if K-Fed's song had been magnificent? What if it elevated hip hop to the level of true art form? What if, 20 years from now, people thought of Brittany Spears as the June Carter Cash to Kevin's Johnny Cash? Or, better yet, what if they mentioned his name in the same breath as the Beatles, Nirvana, or The Smashing Pumpkins (my personal favorite)? That would be newsworthy! It would be the equivalent of man bites dog. But, no, instead we get a truly shitty song.

Oh well, the search for something that exceeds expectationsons continues . . . .




January 1, 2006

A New Year, a New Blog

Everyone should listen to "A Long December" by the Counting Crows. I'm going to go watch Harry Potter on IMAX now. When i get back, I'm going to try to unravel the mysteries of "PopoZao" and also try to argue that polygamy should be legal.