April 2006

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April 27, 2006

Dorks

Alright. The time has come for me to fucking comment on something.

I absolutely hate it when people who are absolutely not dorks claim to be dorks in an attempt to be cool.

Listen to me: if you're super-popular and very socially adept, great. But don't fucking tell me that you're a dork because you read Harry Potter.

Look, unless you can do the following things from memory, you are not a dork. Just so you guys know, i didn't look any of this shit up:

Lord of the Rings

  1. Give at least one additional name for Gandalf.
  2. Name both of the villains in the Lord of the Rings universe known as "The Dark Lord"
  3. How many Rings of Power were there, and how many did each race receive?

Star Wars

  1. What color was Luke's lightsaber in each of the original movies (I'm not talking about the DVD editions, here)?
  2. Who was the one non-major character to appear in each of the original movies and not die?
  3. Name the leader of the rebel alliance.

UPDATE: As was pointed out in the comments, this quiz is seriously flawed because i somehow omitted Star Trek but included Harry Potter. To rectify the situation, i've added three Star Treck questions. The test still consists of fifteen questions, however: just count whichever category (Harry Potter or Star Trek) that you were able to answer the most from.

Star Trek

  1. What is the registry number of the starship Enterprise?
  2. Who was the voice of the computer on Star Trek: The Next Generation?
  3. Who was the first human to discover the warp engine?

Harry Potter

  1. How many horcruxes are there?
  2. Name all three unforgivable curses.
  3. Why didn't the Basilisk kill Colin Creevey?

DOS

  1. What does "CD" stand for?
  2. What does "DOS" stand for?
  3. What are the two ways to display a directory, and what's the command for each?

Dork Activities

  1. What does "THAC0" stand for?
  2. What are the five different colors of Magic: The Gathering?
  3. Describe a 4-sided die.

Alright. There's 15 questions. Unless you can answer atleast 10, you have no right to call yourself a dork.

I'm not saying being a dork is a good thing, i'm saying fuck you for usurping my dorkhood.

The answers are in the comments.




April 12, 2006

Another Rejection

"Dear Ismael:
Thank you for interviewing for the summer law clerk position at our firm. It was a pleasure meeting you. Unfortunately, we have decided to fill the position with another candidate. Best of luck in your future endeavors."

And so ends my dream of working at a firm this summer. Fuck. I guess I knew it was a shitty interview as soon as it was over but still. I guess being Senior Managing Editor doens't pull a lot of weight.

No big deal, i guess. If i do the Consumer Law Litigation Clinic, i'll only have 19 credits to take next year, total. That should make for a pretty easy year, not counting Law Review which, it is now apparent, will take my entire soul.

Still, i like the people and the work. Just wish i had a job.




April 11, 2006

I'm A Woman?

So, i went to the page that Katherine linked to, and entered this picture of me:

It turns out that the celebrity i most resemble (71%) is Anna Lindh. Who the fuck is that?, you're wondering. No idea, but here's a picture:


Still don't know who that is? Me either. Clearly, the fucking thing was fooled by my glasses. It had to have been the glasses because check out the next few celebrities:

Hrithik Roshan (68%)

Sir Elton John (63%)

Hell, even Erica Durance, the super-hot Lois Lane from Smallville showed up (55%) because of the glasses.

Moral of the story? My most distinctive facial feature is something i can remove. Is that good or bad?




April 9, 2006

Shoutout to F.X.V.

Courtesy of his Frank-ness, a little bitta titty.




I Wasn't Ready For the Midget

I just watched all 12 chapters of Trapped in the Closet. I don't even have anything to say. It was so bad. Something's wrong with out society. That's all i have to offer.

My god.

UPDATE:
As if the Trapped in the Closet train wreck wasn't bad enough on its own, the CliffNotes versions (chapters 1-5, 6-12) add to the hilarity substantially. Especially look at the glossaries and the essay questions.




I Guess I Still Have Further to go to Achieve My Life-Long Goal of Being Superman

Your results:
You are Spider-Man


I was jealous that Katherine found this first, and i'm pissed i wasn't Superman. Still, i'll take Spider-Man. After all, as far as i'm concerned, he still has the best superhero movie of all time. Still, that could all change in June.






















Spider-Man
75%
Superman
70%
Iron Man
70%
Batman
60%
Green Lantern
60%
Hulk
55%
Robin
50%
Supergirl
43%
The Flash
35%
Catwoman
35%
Wonder Woman
28%
You are intelligent, witty,
a bit geeky and have great
power and responsibility.


Click here to take the Superhero Personality Test




April 5, 2006

Another Reason to Vote for Rain

So far on the current poll, 3 of you, or 25%, have voted for lightning as your favorite weather phenomenon. I'm the only one thus far who has voted for snow. That's probably because i'm from the desert and snow has not yet lost it's magical feeling for me.

Regardless, i just experienced a reason for why you should vote for rain. The law school, in its infinite wisdom, chose to gave the Grand Reading Room what appears to be a glorified corrugated tin roof. I was in here tonight, working on my final cite checking packet, when it apparently began to rain very hard. The library was even quieter than normal, most normal people having gone home some time ago. What happened was very cool: the rain reverberated off of the roof and filled the whole room with this awesome, echo-y rain sound. Very relaxing.

So, had "rain while in the grand reading room" been an option, i would have had to change my vote...

In any event, vote in the poll if you haven't yet - it takes even less effort than posting a comment. Rachel, i'm looking at you!

UPDATE: Two more people have voted for rain, which has now pulled ahead of lightning for favorite weather thing. Interesting . . .




I'm Extroverted, Apparently

Big Five Test Results
Extroversion (86%) very high which suggests you are overly talkative, outgoing, sociable and interacting at the expense too often of developing your own individual interests and internally based identity. Accommodation (46%) medium which suggests you are moderately kind natured, trusting, and helpful while still maintaining your own interests. Orderliness (36%) moderately low which suggests you are, at times, overly flexible, random, scattered, and fun seeking at the expense of structure, reliability, work ethic, and long term accomplishment. Emotional Stability (58%) moderately high which suggests you are relaxed, calm, secure, and optimistic. Inquisitiveness (72%) high which suggests you are very intellectual, curious, imaginative but possibly not very practical.
Take Free Big Five Personality Test personality tests by similarminds.com
Seems pretty accurate, i suppose. What do you think?



April 3, 2006

How To Tell a Certain Lawyer Joke

Here's one way to tell it:

Man, it's cold outside. In fact, it's so cold that the lawyers have their hands in their own pockets.

Here's another way to tell it:
Man, it's cold outside. In fact, it's so cold that the lawyers
have their hands in their own pockets.

See the difference? Here's the real question, though: which is the correct way to tell it? Let me know your answer in the comments.

CAUTION: answering wrong means you're probably a tool, and idiot, unfunny or all three.




Barrister's Ball, Law Review, and Law Revue

First, i feel that i have to comment on the recent happenings at Legal Badger and their consequences. For those of you who don't know, Legal Badger is a blog run by several University of Wisconsin law students. It is a blog devoted to poking fun at the law school, law students, the law, pretty much everything. One of the contributors to that blog posted a semi-serious piece asking for comments on the Wisconsin Law Review's diversity policy. This lead to several comments and then several replies. The converstation became quite heated, as is likely to happen when such an important issue is being discussed.

This is all very well and good. But what is completely unacceptable is that the conversation devolved into accusations of racism and intolerance. I want this to be clear: Racism is bad, and it should be combated at every turn. However, i know several of the Legal Badger contributors that were involved personally, and can state, with 100% certainty, that they are not racists. They are good people who are interested in making sure that all groups are represented in the law school society. There is no basis in fact for any of the accusations that have been made or implied against them.

Some of the comments that were made on Legal Badger could be seen as offensive (even though i am confident that they were not intended to offend). Certainly, it is someone's right to be offended and to respond to the offensive thing as they see fit. But i feel it is necessary that i go on the record in defense of any of the people whose reputations might be questioned.

In any event, please support Legal Badger; they make law school fun. Or, well, as fun as it can be.

In other news . . .

Last night was the Barrister's Ball, which is essentially law school prom, which should not be confused with law school homecoming, the Malpractice Bash. The two can be easily differentiated because the Malpractice Bash involves med students. A med student is readily identifiable: just look for a forked tounge, hooved feet and pitchforks. You can almost smell the evil.

But i digress...

The Barrister's Ball was fun, and i will post pictures soon. The fun was tempered, however, by the knowledge that elections for the Wisconsin Law Review senior board started promptly at 9am Sunday morning (i know that they technically started at 10am, but daylight savings time is an abomination before god and it robbed me of an hour last night). I was out until 3 (again, i'm ignoring the time change). You do the math.

I got up in the morning and i was tired. I showered and put on my suit and went down to the school. I was running for two positions: Editor-in-Chief and Senior Managing Editor.

EIC was the first position to be voted on. There were three candidates. The process was as follows: First, you give a speech. Then, you answer questions from the current holder of the office you're running for, followed by questions from the general membership. Then, you leave the room and the membership discusses you, making comments or criticisms. I was the first EIC candidate to undergo the process. The two other candidates followed, and we waited for the votes to be counted. The current EIC came in and wrote "EIC" on the board followed by the new EIC's name. I did not win, but a very talented and committed candidate did, and that's fine with me.

Senior Managing Editor was second. I came in, did my song and dance, and left. There were two other candidates. Again, the votes were counted and the current EIC came in and started writing names on the board. The first name she wrote was: Ismael Tapia. I was excited and happy. The EIC then wrote the other SME's name on the board. Another excellent candidate was elected (that doesn't mean much - all the candidates were excellent).

The Senior Managing Editor's main responsibilty is overseeing the cite checking process, which is one of the most important things in the system, and the major time consumer for 2L members. That might sound lame to you, but i can't wait - i love the Bluebook.

Voting for more positions followed. Several of the races were uncontested, which, frankly, is disappointing. It makes me sad that more people weren't as enthusiastic about the Law Review as i am. I hope that that's something that this year's board can work on. The upside to the uncontested races was that elections were over very quickly, relatively speaking. They took about 7 hours, as compared to 11 hours last year.

After the Law Review elections, i headed down to Memorial Union to join the cast of the Law Revue (the show) during their rehearsals for the show that night. The Law Revue is a sketch comedy show that runs once a year and is written and produced entirely by law students. The humor would be almost entirely lost to non-law students, but we like it. Several of my friends, including Cole, Ryan and Zachar were involved in the writing and acting.

Among the skits:
A Family Fued parody pitting law students against their professors.
Zombie Rehnquist and Ann Coulter face off against Larry Church and Leonard Kaplan on Hardball.
A parody of Brokeback Mountain entitled Brokeback Hill (the law school is located on Bascom Hill) in which Walter J. Dickey and Michael W. Smith must hide their secret love of Torts in order to keep their livelihoods as professors of criminal law.
Masked vigilantes bringing justice to the law school.
And, of course, Tapia, Zachar, Ruby & McNamara squaring off against a uppity woman with the gaul to ask for a job. (The role of Ismael Tapia was played effectively by Texas Scott because we had no way of knowing how long the Law Review elections would run and i could not be counted on to be there in time.)

The show went off without a hitch (well, almost) and was generally considered the best effort in several years.

Now, it's time to bask in my own Senior Managing Editor glory. And by that, i mean sleep.




April 1, 2006

Man . . .

You know, i thought that i was sort of over September 11th. I thought that i could deal with it and stuff. But, it turns out i can't bring myself to read about the transcripts of the 911 calls that have just been released, let alone listen to the actual calls.