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You Know What There Aren't Enough Of?

June 5, 2006 1:40 AM

ife-sized, painted, fiberglass cows. I know what you're thiking: "what kind of imbecile would want a stupid life-sized, painted, fiberglass cow?" Yeah, I thought that, too.

Fortunately, Madison, Wisconsin, has not gotten a life-sized, painted, fiberglass cow. That's good. Unfortunately, it has gotten 7 billion life-sized, painted, fiberglass cows. Why? Who the fuck knows. Who the fuck knows.

I'll tell you what, though, it's a great idea. Because if there's something that a town in Wisconsin needs, it's to increase its reputation for having an affinity for cows. Just in case people forget that we're all about cows here, they'll be reminded each time they walk past one of the life-sized, painted, fiberglass cows.

Now, some will respond that this is art. Well, that might be true. However, the effectiveness of that argument is somewhat reduced when you consider the fact that there are restrictions on how the artists can paint the cows: "Designs that are religious, political or sexual in nature will not be accepted." That's stupid. Sure, art's ok if it can be pretty, but it's at its best when it's saying something about something important, relevant, controversial - things like relgion, politics or sex. But not here in Madison. Here, we'd like it if you just painted a pretty, life-sized, fiberglass cow.

Now all we need is a giant bronze statue of an alcoholic and the stereotype reinforcement will be complete.



14 Comments


Moral Turpitude said:

I agree! I don't care for the cows either. They look tacky. Are they temporary?

September 26, 2006 1:42 AM



Lauren said:

What about big, larger-than-life, fiberglass blocks of cheese? I thought you guys were all about the cheese. Fuck the rest of dairy. Who likes milk anyway?

September 26, 2006 1:42 AM



Maggie said:

I can't remember which town it is, Jackson, Wyoming maybe...somwhere out west anyhow, there is a town that has big painted buffalo statues like that on every block year round. It's weird.

September 26, 2006 1:43 AM



tRJ said:

Knoxville has bears. Bearfoot in the City they call it. I like them better than these cows.

But the cows are better than the doors that Lexington, KY has. Yes, doors.

September 26, 2006 1:43 AM



Dangerous Mind said:

We had fiberglass fish in Richmond, VA one summer (I think they may still be there, actually). They didn't make any sense either.

See, I don't understand the cattle - this is not Austin, TX. I think statues of various drunkards in various stages of pubcrawling/tailgating would be much more appropriate for Madison.

September 26, 2006 1:43 AM



Joint Tortfeasors said:

I want a larger-than-lifesized painted fiberglass cat. A statue of my cat to be specific. Where do I get one of those?!

September 26, 2006 1:44 AM



RPM said:

Hopefully they'll sell these awful things quickly and raise money. Of course, that would just perpetuate the stereotype that large painted fiberglass animals are OK.

I hope they're gone when I return at the end of the summer. Artists should protest being commissioned to waste their talents on cattle.

September 26, 2006 1:45 AM



tRJ said:

Have you seen the one by Monona Terrace, that I think is meant to look like an ice cream sundae, but instead looks like a cow lying in massive pile of its own excrement?

September 26, 2006 1:45 AM



kcs said:

Um yea... Today I saw a cow with cheese all over it. It seemed way to meta. And really fucking ugly. Vice... give up the war against the animal crackers and devote yourself to a new cause. The fucking cows are littering my city!

September 26, 2006 1:46 AM



Ismael Tapia II said:

Indeed! It's time to rid our fair city of the life-sized, painted, fiberglass cow menace! Let's take to the streets and destroy those things.

September 26, 2006 1:47 AM



Vice said:

Mr. Vice respectfully declines your request to battle the fiberglass cows. As it stands, the war against the animal crackers is back on, and we cannot fight a battle on two fronts. Especially since I'm stuck here in O-Town. In other words, your problem, not mine.

Or, I'm setting the stage for a ruthlessly wicked sneak attack...

September 26, 2006 1:47 AM



Annonymous said:

Apparently you all forget that Chicago (a town that people practically get off just by saying the name for whatever reason) had an exhibit on Michigan Ave a few years back with the same theme: fiberglass painted cows. Apparently the stupid hippies in Madison were too stoned to realize that they saw the idea in Chicago, and did not come up with it on their own in a THC-inspired haze.

September 26, 2006 1:48 AM



Kieran said:

Just to clarify a few things.

CowParade in Madison IS NOT a rip-off from a similiar exhibition in Chicago, but part of the largest open-air art event in the world. The great variety of all kinds of artistic cows have been already displayed in all major world cities such as Paris, Madrid, Mexico City, and Moscow.

Painting a cow might seem like a waste of time to some of you. However, I know some of you are from Madison. Too bad that you don't even realize that the money raised from the auctioned faber-glass cows will make a great contribution to an ungoing construction of the UW Children's Hospital.

From the artists' staindpoint, a faber glass cow is an unusual canvas rather than a wacky representation of a dairy animal. Painting a canvas that big, requires a lot of effort, imagination, and artist's love to what he/she is doing. Every cow is a true masterpiece and something that comes from artist's heart and the soul...

I also want to add that I'm greatly dissapointed that although in today's world we're all supposed to be well-educated and moderate, most of us are so terrbily disconnected from modern spiritual and artistic forms of expression. You, guys, are consumers and vandals. Please do not comment on something you merely know nothing about.

Kieran,
a cow parade artist

http://www.flickr.com/photos/plasticboy/

September 26, 2006 1:48 AM



Ismael Tapia II said:

Kieran,
I don't think anyone here will disagree that building a children's hospital is an admirable goal. If you have to deface the city with stupid fiberglass cows to build the thing, then that's fine with me. However, that doesn't mean I have to like the fucking things. The stupid cows are ugly - not because the artists are talentless, although most of them appear to be, but because they're life-sized, painted, fiberglass cows!

You seem to equate "masterpiece" with "comes from the artist's heart and soul." That's just dumb. There's lots of art out there that's honest, true, and from the heart and yet blows. Some art leaves no doubt as to what emotion the artist was feeling at the time that he created the art. But that doesn't necessarily mean it's good.

And, besides, what kind of a fucked up artist has a ballerina cow in their heart and soul?

I am puzzled by your comment that, because I am well-educated, I should be i touch with some modern spiritual bullshit. All that comment does is evince a lack of education on your part: the argument that, were I truly enlightened I'd find value in stupid cows is laughable.

I will comment on whatever the fuck I want to, regardless of whether I "merely know nothing about" that thing. Judging by your limited mastery of the English language and your obviously lacking intellect, I am lead, by your logic, to the conclusion that there is a very limited range of things about which you are qualified to comment. Clearly, art is not one of those things.

Oh, and, by the way: fuck you.

September 26, 2006 2:35 AM



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