Michael Jackson Kicks Ass!

July 24, 2006 8:37 PM

lright. Whatever Michael Jackson may or may not have done later in his life, his music (at least his music from his time with the Jackson 5 up to and including Dangerous kicks ass).

Ever since Cole, Kristin and I watched Clerks II (which was funny and did not ruin the View Askewniverse), I've had ABC by the Jackson 5 stuck in my head. It's a fucking awesome song. I downloaded it from iTunes the other day and have been listening it almost non-stop. It's a great mix of funky R&B-type stuff and pure, unadulterated 70s pop.

Having started listening to that song, I went on iTunes and realized that Michael Jackson has a bunch of great songs. Among them:

1. Smooth Criminal. I've said this before: it was my idea to do a rock-style cover of that song way before those ass clowns Alien Ant Farm came along. Fuck them in their alien asses. And my version would have kicked ass, rather than sucked donkey cock like theirs did.


2. Beat It. Man, this is an awesome song. That guitar solo from Eddie Van Halen rocks. While I don't usually enjoy Mr. Van Halen's work, some hard-core guitar wankery every now and then is just fine by me. And, of course, Michael's kick-ass vocals. And who's thought of a better lyric than "show them hot funky?" I don't know if that's what he actually says, but who cares?


3. Thriller. This song is fucking incomparable. And it's got motherfuckin' Vincent Price! No more need be said.


4. Bad. Not my favorite, but still good.


5. DIrty Diana. Yeah, not one of the more popular ones. But I still think it's fucking awesome.


6. Man in the Mirror. It may be sappy, but it's also fucking great! And true - Maybe I should start with the man in the mirror. . . Nah, fuck it.


7. Black or White. Who doesn't want racial harmony? And what better way to do it than to go from being black to white, and then writing a song about how it doesn't matter? And then having a video including a panther, cars getting smashed, and McCaulay Culkin? Yeah, this song rocks, even if it's just on the cusp of MJ's descent into complete and total badness.

8 Comments

tRJ said:

I always really liked "Wanna Be Startin' Something" as well as those you mentioned. The whole Thriller album is pretty phenomenal.

July 24, 2006 10:32 PM

sadielady said:

i like wanna be startin somethin and don't stop til you get enough too.

July 25, 2006 6:31 AM

Vice said:

"I don't know if that's what he actually says, but who cares?"

HA!

Yeah, Michael had soul, no doubt about it. Then he turned white and started molesting children. But hey, we've all been through that at some point.

July 25, 2006 8:24 AM

LawNut said:

Wanna Be Starting Something and Don't Stop Till You Get Enough are THE BEST Jacko songs ever!! Oh, and let's not forget Billy Jean...you know what it is, we grew up listening to Michael Jackson: PRE-molestation Michael Jackson - how can we not love his tunes? They rocked and still do!!

July 25, 2006 8:51 AM

Rhiannon said:

"The Way You Make Me Feel" is also a very good MJ song, has a good getting ready to go out party vibe. But I would agree with the ones posted, very awesome.

July 25, 2006 1:46 PM

sadielady said:

ok, i'm listening to "dirty diana" now, just had to download it and listen to it again, and i gotta say - it rocks, too.

July 25, 2006 3:54 PM

sadielady said:

why do it get so many pop-ups when i come here? hmm, i don't know about you, Ismael, i get the feeling you're the kind of guy i'm always going to get a pop-up with whenever i come over to pay attention to you ... :)

July 25, 2006 3:57 PM

Ismael Tapia II said:

I don't know what's up with the pop-ups. It may be due to the tagboard, but I'm not 100% positive. I've noticed it, though, and I'm working on it.

As far as getting a pop-up whenever you pay attention to me - that's not really something I can help.

July 25, 2006 8:03 PM

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