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If I Had a Million Dollars . . .

August 5, 2006 11:02 PM

would buy a Guitar Center. The thought of owning so much musical equipment makes me giddy.

Yesterday, I decided that I would go to the local music store down the street from my house and buy one of the several cheap guitar accessories I've been wanting for a while, probably an A/B box or an in-line tuner. When I got there, I found out that they were out of stock of both of those things. That kinda pissed me off, but, worse, it made me determined. Determined to spend money. I went to this store to get rid of some money, and if they didn't take it then, goddamnit, someone would!

So I asked the guy if he knew anywhere else where I might find the things I was looking for. He referred me to Guitar Center. I didn't even know we had a Guitar Center, so I drove down there, determined to buy something. When I got there, I was immediately hypnotized by literally hundreds of thousands of dollars of awesome musical equipment. Guitars, basses, drum kits, amps, effects. Oh, a guitar techno-geek's dreams.

And then I saw it. The Line 6 DL4 Delay Pedal after which I had been lusting for literally years. It was prominently displayed, literally, on a pedestal. I walked up to it, transfixed. I had just begun to fondle its knobs and footswitches, when a voice came from behind me: "That's my favorite. It rocks." I turned. There was a cute punk/goth looking girl there. I sort of did a double take. She had a nametag. Did she work here? Cute girls are not allowed to work at guitar stores. Only dudes with limited social skills and an air of superiority are allowed to work at guitar stores.

Anyway, I commented that I really liked the pedal, but that the price tag was higher than I thought it should be. She said she'd see what she could do. In the end, I bought it for about $40 less than the price tag, plus free patch cords. Not a bad deal, I thought.

As I was waiting for them to process my debit card, I looked around, slack-jawed, at the multi-thousand dollar Gibsons. Oh, if I had a million dollars, my rig would consist of the following:

Guitars:
Gibson Les Paul Standard (I've lusted after this guitar for as long as I can remember)
Gibson SG (I have one now, but I'd like a nicer one)
Gibson acoustic dreadnaught

Amps
Marshall JCM-800 head and cab (the same one used by Billy Corgan. I've already got the head, but my cabinets are not Marshalls)

So, basically, I just need about $10k and I'm all set.

I'd also set up a ridiculously awesome home studio. Oh, man, I wish I was rich.


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