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Morning Drive Time

August 7, 2006 6:29 PM

've talked about liking my job a lot, and I do. But, you know what? At 9:30 in the morning, when I'm running late, I've only had 6.5 hours of sleep, it's Monday, and I've got a shitload of work waiting for me on my desk, I've got very little to look forward to. The few minutes of reflection I get on my drive to work are sacred. They're the time when I get to think about the day, the weekend and, more importantly, what I'm going to eat for lunch.

I choose to fill this time with talk radio. I don't like listening to music in the morning. Maybe it's because if good music's on, the last thing I'm going to want to do is turn it off and go into the office. But the more probably explanation is that most music stations suck, and the ones that don't suck all the time suck at least half the time. So, if I listened to music, what I'd actually be doing is flipping back and forth between the two decent stations, waiting for something good or decent to come on. Then, all of a sudden, I'd be in my parking garage and I wouldn't have listened to a single whole song and I'd be pissed cause I didn't get any time to reflect, etc.

So talk radio it is. Pretty much anything will do. Usually it's Air America because those people are fucking hilarious in their bloated, left-wing craziness. While I'm a Democrat, the people on Air America make me look like James Dobson or something. They're fucking crazy, and they give Democrats a bad name. But that's another post altogether.

On the drive to work, the Stephanie Miller Show is on. The Stephanie Miller show is neither funny (as it claims to be) nor informative (as it claims to be). In fact, it's stupid and infuriating. And that's why I listen: I love being angry.

Anyway, there is simply nothing I hate more than when talk radio shows take calls from listeners. I know there are smart people in the world, but I think the talk radio people screen them out. All the conversations are something like this:

Host: So, anyway, George W. Bush and the Republicans are driving this country on the fast lane to hell. Let's take a call. Bob from Phoenix, you're on [the show]. Bob: Hi, [host]. I just wanted to say that George Bush and his Republicans are quickly driving this country badly to a bad place. Like hell. I love you, [host]!

Or even worse:

Host: So, anyway, George W. Bush and the Republicans are driving this country on the fast lane to hell. Let's take a call. Mary from Tacoma, you're on [the show]. Mary: Hi, [host]. I disagree. I think the Republicans are getting it all right.
Host: Well, you're just an idiot, then! I mean, how can you say that when [lists a bunch of problems with Bush and Republicans]? Are you complete divorced from society?
Mary: No, I'm not completely divorced from society. I just think they're doing a good job. It's a hard job, [host], could you do any better? I mean, you've got Saddham and abortions and gays.
Host: Well, you're wrong and I'm right. [screaming ensues. No points are made. Discourse rolls over in its grave.]

So, the point of this post is to say this: leave the talk radio to the experts. They don't tell you how to be an idiot, so you shouldn't tell them how to be an idiot on the radio.



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