Here is No Why

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You Suck, Modern Music

August 23, 2006 1:18 AM

o, as I've mentioned, being at my parents' house allows me to watch TV, something I'm not normally able to do at home. Today, I accidentally stumbled onto the most horrific show I've seen in a while. It was called "Rock Star: Supernova." Let me tell you about the show. Apparently, Tommy Lee, Dave Navarro, Jason Newsted (the former bassist for Metalica and the only person with any credibility), and some other guys have started a "supergroup" called Supernova. I put supergroup in quotes because, while the band meets the technical definition of a supergroup, i.e., it consists of members of already successful bands, it is hardly "super." In fact, from what I've seen, a more apt name would have been "SuperDouches." I'd love to give Jason Newsted some props, and Dave Navarro's done some good stuff. But the rest of these people sucked my ass.

Oh yeah, the show. Anyway, apparently Supernova is auditioning for a lead singer on this show. Which is fucking laughable right there. But, anyway, the people who are doing the auditioning are some of the biggest douchebags I've ever seen. They were clearly raised on the nu metal/punk pop, style-over-substance, neo-glam-rock bullshit that Dave Navarro and Tommy Lee seem to be all about.

The first guy I saw did a shitty as hell nu-metal cover of "Layla." It was terrible. But Tommy Lee and Dave Navarro both told him he was "just awesome." Then the next guy did a cover of "All These Things That I've Done" by the Killers. It, too, was horrible. But the singer didn't miss the opportunity to check his faux hawk in the guitarist's super-shiny Gibson Explorer. In any event, his cover sucked. Bad. But the members of Supernova were falling all over themselves to praise him.

God, I absolutely hate what's happened to popular music. I remember that a long time ago, I saw an episode of Saturday Night Live where the musical guest was Deee-Lite. It was one of the worst performances of one of the worst songs by one of the worst bands I'd ever seen. Then I realized: this is what music was like before Nirvana. Thank god for Nirvana, I thought. Well, Nirvana has been all but forgotten nowadays. In it's place we've got a bunch of people who emulate Kurt Cobain's angst-ridden style without any of his intelligence or, you know, talent. It's fucking disgusting.

Oh, and indie rock kicks ass, except that they're all afraid to rock.

Here's what I want: a band with genuine, awesome lyrics about whatever, who rock, take awesome but not indulgent solos, and have a few slower songs on their CDs. I want the Smashing Pumpkins! I want Weezer! I want Nirvana.

Instead, we've got Supernova. Fuck you, Tommy Lee.

In other news, I had another double-double today, bringing the full count to 4. I also had a single, which was awesome.

And I got new glasses.