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Fulfilled a Promise Made of Tin

November 12, 2006 11:46 PM

was feeling up. Hopeful, even. But, like I should have known, my hope was fleeting and now, in it's place, there is just a familiar and unwelcome sense of despair.

Perhaps it's a self-fulfilling prophecy: After so many years of failure, how would I even deal with success? Probably really well, actually. But I don't know for sure, and I don't know when I'll know. There are known knowns and known unknowns and unknown unknowns and all of that.

There are some days you feel invincible -- infallible, even. As if everything is going your way and will continue to go that way forever. But that feeling never lasts.

I wonder how other people do this. It always seems to just fall into place for everyone. One minute, people are sitting there, staring off into space, thinking about what they want, and the next minute they've got it.

I guess that happened to me once. I was on the phone while on the roof of my parent's house in Nogales at approximately 11pm. The cop showed up and asked me what the fuck I was doing, and my mom was kinda angry. But it was worth it. And, of course, it didn't last.

That was seven years ago.



6 Comments


TheExpat said:

The Great Philosopher Lao tzu said:

"The Way that can be known is not the true Way."

The industrious Taiwanese here have a saying:

"Instead of fearing slow-going, fear that you'll stop."

Americans have another:

"DON'T STOP!!
BELIEVIN'!!
HO-OO-oo-OLD ON TO THAT FEELIN'!!!"

These phrases combined (though I wish I could cut out my tongue for suggesting it) sum up the whole of human success.

November 13, 2006 4:21 AM



Maggie said:

Hmm..I thought for sure you'd hide some juicy code in this one.

I was going to go with the cliche "everything happens for a reason" bit...and maybe it's true...but that doesn't take away the fact that not getting what you want sucks.

I've never been one of those people whose perfect life just plops down in their lap. Most of the things I hope for actually die, literally or figuratively.

At least I have some friends who are willing to listen to me bitch about it :)

November 13, 2006 7:23 AM



Vice said:

I guess I don't have any idea what brought this on, so it's hard to give any advice. Words of encouragement may sound hollow and empty, but when backed by guitars and long hair, they take on a whole new dimension. Thus, as a cherished friend, I will leave you with this:

We've got to hold on
to what we've got
'Cause it doesn't make a difference if we make it or not.
We've got each other and that's a lot for love -
We'll give it a shot.

We're half way there - Livin' on a prayer!

November 13, 2006 10:13 AM



TheExpat said:

Vice,
Truly, the inspirational powers of butt rock never cease to astound us.

Hang in there Ismael!

November 13, 2006 11:03 PM



Utah said:

Yeah, I hate that feeling of invincibility. You think "I can do anything." Then you see a wild bear and think "I can wrestle that bear down, tame it, teach it the ways of humankind, and finally bridge the gap between humans and bears." But out of nowhere the confidence evaporates when the bear pants you in front of all your friends and laughs gregariously. At that point, all you have left is beer. Beer and hope.

November 14, 2006 8:55 PM



Vice said:

Mad props to Utah for bringing back "gregariously."

November 15, 2006 9:10 AM



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