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Just Another Mad, Mad Day on the Road

November 17, 2006 2:11 AM

h man. This has been a tough week. There hasn't been a single day where I've gotten more than six hours of sleep. Last night I got about five. I took two naps today between editing for the Law Review. Fortunately, it's almost over. Tomorrow won't be bad at all, and I've got Heroes and poker to look forward to. Then a weekend filled with hard work. It's alright, I can deal.

Check out this video:

I think it's pretty awesome. Hat tip: Crackers.

I'm often considered someone who's "too honest." I don't generally pull punches. When I don't like someone, I make that pretty clear. The converse is also true, though: when I like someone (either platonically or romantically) I can't help but make that clear. It's just the way I am. I don't like deception, I don't understand it, I don't appreciate having it done to me. So I don't know why I would lie or attempt to hide the way I feel about things. I'm not in middle school anymore--I'm not ashamed to admit that I find certain members of the opposite sex attractive, fun to be around, etc. Why should I be? Why should anyone be?

I'm always surprised when people tell me that they think I'm too honest because there are several times every day when I think to myself that I need to be more honest. There are so many times a day when I do things that aren't me. Not major things, not important things. Just little things. I often find myself giving into the same sorts of social pressures we all experience, and I hate that.

Anyway, I'm thinking about all of this because I've been thinking lately about how, a while ago, someone told me that I needed to change. This person told me that I needed to be more like everyone else. I've never tried not to be like everyone else--this is just the way I am. And I think I'm pretty fucking awesome. When this person said this to me, it really hurt because no one that close to me had ever said something like that. The fact is that I know that I'm not someone who's always easy to get along with. I'm never going to be the most well-loved person around. I'm not the kind of person that everyone loves. In many ways, the way I am makes my life harder.

I guess I've been thinking about this stuff because I've been pretty down lately, and when I get down, I start thinking about how much easier things would be if I was different in certain ways. But then I remember that an easy life and a good life are two entirely separate things. I've tried in the past to be someone that I'm not, and I can't do it. I'm not ever going to do it.

This is who I am, and it's not going to change.



10 Comments


TheExpat said:

That video is pretty cool. It reminds me of those two brothers that formed the band Lymbic System back in Flagstaff. It's probably just because of the video dude's hair, though.

November 17, 2006 7:22 AM



Utah said:

It's clear that you didn't watch The Postman before writing this post. Because everyone who watches that movie is forever changed by the courage, wit, and perseverence Kevin Costner exhibits over three hours in the post-apocalyptic world.

November 17, 2006 10:56 AM



Vice said:

While I agree with Utah's assessment of The Postman, I'm going to continue to be one of the people that say you're an awesome person, and fuck what anyone else says. The fact that you're willing to freely express your opinions (sometimes loudly, sometimes with an extra F-bomb or two thousand) makes you one of the more exciting people to hang out with that I've ever met. For instance, when I'm driving and I see people walking in front of my car when I have the light, I might drive dangerously close to them at an excessive speed, but I don't roll my window down and exclaim "Fuck you, pretty boy." That's inspiring, and don't let nobody tell you otherwise.

November 17, 2006 12:55 PM



Jorge Montego said:

I take comfort in the fact that you haven't told me you don't like me yet. On the other hand, sir, you have not told me you like me. As a dude, though, this is ok by me.

A certain level of conformity may be necessary to obtain dream jobs following law school. That's the nature of the beast. Law jobs tend tend to be conservative risk-averse creatures. On the other hand, regarding substantive portions of your personality, let everyone else go to heck. I gave up caring what other people thin or whether they think I'm an a--hole just becuase I'm unique a long time ago.

In the words of U2, don't let the b-----ds get you down.


November 17, 2006 1:47 PM



Ismael Tapia II said:

Mr. Expat,
I hadn't made the Lymbic System connection myself, but, now that you mention it, it is very reminiscent of that band. That band was one of the few bands in Flagstaff I liked, together with Lobe. Altough I remember that Lobe had this asshole saxophonist that would play with them somtimes who was a real douchebag . . .

Mt. Utah,
You are correct that I did not watch The Postman. It's on my fucking list, I just need the time!

Mr. Vice,
Thank you very much for the kind words. It's nice to know someone out there appreciates my antics. That pretty boy totally had it coming, though.

Mr. Montego,
I haven't told you how I feel about you because I don't know who you are. But, based on your comments here, you're clearly a pretty cool guy.

For me, a "dream job" is one that, for example, doesn't care that I have this blog. This is my life, I'm not going to change it because my job wants me to. I'll move where I get a job, I'll work hard, I'll do my best for the firm's clients. I won't change my personality, and I won't work for someone who expects me to.

November 17, 2006 3:08 PM



Maggie said:

Dear Sir,

I think you are awesome and funny as hell. And even though we aren't exactly best friends, I think that if circumstance had put us in the same place at the same time we would have gotten along quite swimmingly. I'm glad you aren't planning on changing because I think that your honesty is refreshing :)

Love, Maggie

November 17, 2006 4:36 PM



Utah said:

Yeah, that pretty boy definitely had it coming.

November 17, 2006 7:23 PM



Lauren said:

The Negative Touchstone of truth does not change his course for the sake of man. It is the task of mankind to seek and understand the Touchstone.

And once you do, boy, do you get an earful of fuck!

That sounds both unbelievably dirty and unbelievably uncomfortable.

I like you and fuck everyone else.

November 17, 2006 9:28 PM



Dee said:

someone told you that you should be like other people? i hope it wasn't me--and if it was, it was crazy drunk talk!

i remember the sax player you speak of. i hear he married an ignorant slut.

November 18, 2006 3:55 AM



TheExpat said:

Douchebag? You mean you would hold this sax player in league with that gaggle of spikey-haired losers a few polls ago? For you to think that Lobe would have actually associated with someone of their ilk in even a semi-professional relationship is ludicrous.

...then again, they hung out with you, so who knows?

Oh, and the slut says, and I quote: "Your mom."

November 19, 2006 7:56 AM



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