The most interesting thing that's happened in the past few days is that I played poker at the Commerce Casino. I went with my cousin Noel, as I do every time I'm back out West.

We went on Friday night, and I had an excellent night. We were sitting at a table with players that seemed like they barely knew what the fuck they were doing. Noel got beaten by someone who had called a sizeable preflop bet, while not ona blind, with a 4-2 off suit. It was fucking disgusting. After the showdown, the guy looked at Noel and said something like "Sometimes I don't know why I call. I just go with my gut." It was all we could do not to kick his ass right there.

As for myself, I played pretty tight and it paid off. I ended up winning $245, making it my most successful night of poker ever. I was able to bluff people out a few times, and I was also able to make a few decent reads. That's good because making reads is, by far, the worst part of my game.

We went back Saturday night. Within the first hour at the table, I was up about $350. It was unbelievable. I was untouchable and could do no wrong. For one of my hands, I got dealt pocket aces. I raised preflop and got called. The flop was JJ6, rainbow. I raised big, thinking I had the best hand and could just take the pot down right there. The one other guy in the hand too his time, and with every passing second I became more sure that I had him beat. He finally raised me. I knew I had him beat, so I went all in. He folded and showed me pocket 4s. I have no idea why he was in the hand, really, but it was still awesome.

In the end, though, I wasn't able to maintain my huge high. I ended up losing the huge stack built up and ended up about $50 for the night, meaning that I was only up $200 for the weekend as opposed to almost $600 like I had been. But, honestly, it was a lot of fun, I learned a lot, and it was completely worth it.

Now I'm sitting around my parents' house waiting for the rest of the family to get here so that we can have some sort of huge New Year's dinner. I don't really know what they've been cooking, but there's a lot of it. I'm excited.

Posted by Ismael Tapia II at 12:42 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)| Filed under Existential Nonsense , Fun Shit I've Done , General Awesomeness , Things I'm Irrationally Attached To

Nothing too interesting has happened for the past few days. Today, though, my aunt bought a car. A BMW. Convertible. From 1989. She's picking it up tomorrow. I kind of can't wait to drive it. I've never driven a convertible, and, given that the weather out here is anything but Christmas-y, tomorrow should be a perfect convertible driving day.

The other thing that happened is that my uncle from Redwood City got here. He's a pretty cool guy. He owns this gardening and landscaping business in the bay area and he's pretty successful at it. Anyway, he started this foundation that collects money so that they can give college scholarships to people who would otherwise be fucked. He's been talking about it for a while but it's just started getting off the ground in the past year or so. He's really proud of it, and the whole family's really proud of him, me included.

He was featured on a Spanish-language news program in the bay area in a segment called "My Hero is . . . ." He brought a tape of the segment with him, and it was really cool to see him getting interviewed and stuff. He was incredibly articulate, and he started crying, which was kinda funny. Anyway, it was really awesome to see someone from my family doing something so positive and getting recognition for it.

So, that's what I've been up to. My plan for tomorrow includes more In-n-Out but, other than that, I don't have much of an idea what I'm going to do. Probably a lot of sitting on the couch watching TV. Then a little hanging out with the family. Oh, yeah, and driving the convertible. Sounds like it's going to be a pretty awesome day.

Posted by Ismael Tapia II at 12:40 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)| Filed under Existential Nonsense , Funny Shit , General Awesomeness , Restaurant and Bar Reviews , Things I'm Irrationally Attached To

Wow. Every time I think that Spanish soap operas can't get worse, they get worse. I'm not even going to attempt to explain what the fucking plot to this one is. I will say this: it involves a woman in bondage gear who may or may not be a stripper or a whore, her pimp and/or boyfriend and/or brother who dresses in zoot suits as if that's ok, some seemingly unrelated woman who's in love with the patriarch of some family (with whom she's moving in) and speaks to pictures of her dead parents and the Virgin Mary. That's all I can glean from what I've seen so far. In any event, it's bad.

In other news, my mom and aunt are remarkably well-versed in Mexican celebrity gossip. They know all the names of the people, who they're sleeping with, why they're famous, all that shit. It's crazy. Last night, we were watching some sort of Latin-American Grammys or something, and my parents were able to determine that it was a repeat because one second-rate Spanish rock star wasn't sitting next to the woman he's not married to. I never knew my parents were into that stuff.

We went shopping for shoes for me today. I hate shopping for myself. They never, ever have what I want and, when I find something I like, it doesn't fit. Today, my freakishly large feet prevented me from buying the shoes I wanted. I ended up buying some shoes I was lukewarm about because I just wanted to get the ordeal over with.

My cousins Kaky and Gloria, along with Gloria's daughter Mia, came over tonight. Mia's the cutest little baby ever. Seriously.

AHA! Upon further review, it appears that the zoot suit guy is, in fact, a pimp. And a biker thug. Who just got schooled by a priest. And by "schooled" I mean "got punched in the face and then ran away."

And there was just an extreme close-up of a guy with an eyepatch. Ok, I'm done.

Posted by Ismael Tapia II at 12:38 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)| Filed under Existential Nonsense , Rants About Things That Make Me Irrationally Angry , Television Reviews

We did all of our celebrating last night, so we didn't do much at all today. I just laid on the couch which, honestly, was awesome. Then we went for a drive in my old car, a 1965 Mustang. All in all, it was a pretty good day.

But there's horrible news. Although there are wireless networks in range, I can't connect to any of them because they need a password. So, I'm completely without internet right now.

Right now, we're sitting around watching TV.

Posted by Ismael Tapia II at 12:37 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)| Filed under Existential Nonsense

I'm going to try to simulblog my trip home today, mostly because I expect it to be the worst cross-country trip ever. Let me explain.

It's 4:32am on Christmas Eve. I am in the Milwaukee aiport. My flight is in just over an hour. As if that wasn't all bad enough, I had to leave my apartment in Madison at 2am. I haven't slept.

Like I said, my flight out of Milwaukee leaves in just over an hour. But it doesn't go straight to LA. That would be too easy. Instead, I will be flying from Milwaukee to St. Louis. I drove through St. Louis once. It seemed nice enough. Ask Mr. Nononsense to tell you about his experience in East St. Louis some day, though. I hope I don't have a similarly horrible time.

Anyway, my flight from St. Louis leaves at 8:35 local time. But, still, I will not be heading to Los Angeles. In order to teach me a lesson about booking my flights early, the universe has conspired to have me get on three different flights today. So, from St. Louis, I'm headed to Dallas/Ft. Worth. If there's going to be a delay in my travels today, this is most likely where it will happen. At least it's the last leg, so leaving Dallas late won't cause me to miss a flight.

Anyway, eventually, nine hours from now, I will finally be in Los Angeles, where my cousin Kaky will pick me up and drive me to my cousin Gloria's house for Christmas festivities. I'm really excited, but I can't help but wonder: when the fuck am I going to sleep?

You see, I have a problem sleeping on moving vehicles. It's not that I get motion sickness or anything, it's just that I'm convinced that I'm somehow subconsciously responsible for keeping the vehicle safe. And, should I fall asleep, the vehicle will crash. And I will die. It just occurred to me that this feeling probably stems from this one time when I was a kid and I was asleep in our old Suburban and we crashed. Hmmm . . . .

In any event, I'm hoping that I will eventually reach such an extreme state of tiredness that I will be unable to stay up, regardless of my irrational belief that I am responsible for keeping the aircraft aloft.

In any event, the trip is already off to an interesting start. The Milwaukee airport apparently opens at 4am. I didn't know that--I assumed that all airports were open 24/7. In any event, I was the second guy in line to check my bags, and one of the biggest douchebags I've ever seen was in line a few people behind me.

This guy seriously looked like he had just finished walking around in the forest with Subcomandante Marcos. This guy was ugly as shit cammo pants, matching green Converse shoes, one of those pretentious, annoying caps with the short bills and--get this--an olive green utility belt. A fucking utility belt! Does that make sense to anyone? What the fuck does this guy do for a living that he needs a utility belt? The fact is, he doesn't do shit with it because most of the pouches in said belt were empty. So, just to be clear, the asshole was wearing a utility belt for aesthetic purposes. Ironic, huh?

Then there was some sort of brouhaha involving the TSA security check point people. I was able to gather that, because it's Christmas EVe, the people are allowed to wear festive hats. One older, taller, fatter, balder guy apparently elected to wear a Robin Hood-style hat with a foot-and-a-half-long feather on it. It was awesome. But the boss man had a problem with it, and the rest of the staff had to stand up for the feather hat guy.

I'm going to go see if the Pizza Hut Express or the Quizno's is open. Either of those sounds like they'd be great for breakfast.

It could be that none of this is interesting. It's 4:46am and I haven't slept. Fuck you if it's not interesting.

7:18am (Central)
I'm in St. Louis. The airport here is a piece of shit. The flight was unremarkable. I tried hard to fall asleep but was unsuccessful for the most part. I hate airplane seating.

Zapatista rebel douchebag was on my flight along with his super-ugly hippie girlfriend. She was speaking to him in ridiculously broken Spanish. Maybe he really is a Zapatista rebel.

The stewardess was hot, thereby making that flight the first flight I've ever been on with a hot stewardess. All the stewardesses on all the other flights I've ever been on have been vaguely Weston-esque, which is fine if you're Cole, but that's not really my bag, baby.

My flight from Milwaukee arrived on time and the flight out of here i son schedule right now. That's encouraging.

I just tried to connect to the St. Louis airport wireless network, but was unsuccessful because no such network exists. This place fucking sucks. How does a major airport in this day and age not have a wireless network? Fuck you, St. Louis.

12:08am (Pacific)
I'm in front of my parents' TV. I was unable to write anything in Dallas because I thought I would die from exhaustion and sleep deprevation. I do know that, as I had feared, and despite my constant chant of "no whammy, no whammy, no whammy, no whammy," I got whammied--my flight was delayed by about an hour or so. It felt like fucking forever. Another thing that felt like fucking forever was the actual fucking flight. I really have no sense of how long the flight was. I think it was something like 14 hours, I don't know. I was asleep for most of it.

I got to LA and, after fearing that the airline had lost my luggage, my cousin Kaky drove me to her place and we hung out for a while. Then we went to my cousin Gloria's place. My family cooked an amazing meal while I played with Gloria's daughter, Mia. She's pretty much the coolest baby ever. We had an amazing dinner consisting of turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, roast beef, and various awesome Mexican foods. It's the stuffing that does it for me, though.

After dinner, we sat around and exchanged gifts. It was a pretty decent haul for me this year. I got a wad of cash, In-n-Out merchandise, and the strangest gift I've ever gotten: two sets of silk pajamas with the Playboy bunny on them. From my grandma. I don't really know what that's all about. But, throw in the Wii, and Christmas was awesome this year.

Of course, that's not what matters. I love being around my family. I love how crazy and funny they are. I love being home. I wish I was going to be here longer.

In any event, now it's time to get some much deserved--and much needed--sleep.

Posted by Ismael Tapia II at 12:34 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)| Filed under Existential Nonsense , Fun Shit I've Done , Law School , Rants About Things That Make Me Irrationally Angry

Yes, it's Christmas Eve eve and The Lovers of Sight and Sound have a treat for everyone. I've recorded a version of my favorite Christmas carol, the Carol of the Bells. Rather than using prepubescent boys to sing, though, I used my guitars. I just took the normal arrangement for the song, played the parts on the guitar, moved a few of the parts around an octave or two, and this is what I got. I don't know how satisfied I am with it, but whatever.

The Lovers of Sight and Sound - Carol of the Bells

Let me know what you think.

And Merry Christmas to everyone!

Posted by Ismael Tapia II at 3:31 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)| Filed under General Remarks , Things I'm Irrationally Attached To

Yes, the title of the last Harry Potter book has finally been announced, and it is:

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.

I can't fucking wait for this book, it's going to be amazing and so sad to see the whole thing end. Also, I think the fact that "death" is right there in the title is a pretty good indication of what we can expect. I can't fucking wait.

On another note . . .

While surfing Youtube in an attempt to procrastinate, I found this video, which is pretty much awesome. Check it out:

I'm currently obsessed with the song.

Posted by Ismael Tapia II at 10:58 AM | Permalink | Comments (9)| Filed under Existential Nonsense , General Awesomeness , Harry Potter , Law School , Reviews

Janet Neff, a federal judge nominee, went to her friend's wedding. That's not very remarkable. It turns out, though, that the judge's friend is a lesbian and she married a woman. Still, not all that remarkable in my opinion. What makes it even less remarkable, of course, is that the ceremony took place in Massachusetts in 2002, the year before Goodridge v. Department of Public Health, 798 N.E.2d 941 (Mass. 2003), required that same-sex marriage be legal in the state. That means that the wedding Ms. Neff attended had no legal effect. It was merely a formal, although not legally significant, ceremony. Notice, also, that Ms. Neff attended the ceremony. She did not perform the marriage and was not one of the people getting married. She just went to her friend's wedding.

But Sen. Sam Brownback wants to question Ms. Neff about her role in the ceremony. Why? Well, that brings us to the title of this post: because Sam Brownback is a fucking moron.

In the words of Sen. Brownback:

I would like her to come back through committee so she can testify what took place, factually . . . her legal views on same-sex marriage and her ability and willingness to be impartial.

Let me see if I understand.

You want to question her about what took place, factually. So, you want to ask what color dresses the brides in a lesbian wedding wear? How many people there were? What they served at the reception? You probably want to ask Ms. Neff if any of the guests smoked reefer, whether they discussed their agenda to destroy the family, and whether any children were sacrificed, too, right?

You also want to ask about her legal views on same-sex marriage? Why's that, I wonder? So that you can make sure that, if she won't vote the way you want her to, you can vote against her confirmation? That seems rather un-separation of powers to me.

And you also want to make sure she's impartial. That just doesn't make any sense! Why would her going to her friend's wedding ceremony mean she can't be impartial? Am I to understand that someone is unfit to be a federal judge merely because they support a friend of theirs who does something that is perfectly legal but, in your opinion, uncool?

Yes, Sen. Brownback, you are most definitely an idiot. But, as if that fact had not been made abundantly clear, you went on to cement your reputation as one of the stupidest people in the Senate.

If we [sic] don't testify on her views on same-sex marriage legally [sic], then the only way I can see fit to do this is to have her recuse herself from a class of cases.

Let me see if I understand this. A nominee should have to recuse herself from certain cases if she hasn't testified about her views on that subject before the Senate. Am I the only one who sees how stupid that is? Not only does the very idea fly in the face of separation of powers, but it's absurd! The Senate cannot possibly question each judicial nominee about each and every single area of the law that the nominee might hear cases about. It's idiotic to say that a judge, when faced with a subject that did not come up at his confirmation hearings, should say "Whoa, guys, I'd really like to participate in this case involving some obscure procedural point but, unfortunately, it didn't come up at the hearings and you know how Sen. Brownback feels about us hearing cases when we haven't already told him how we'll decide 'em. Why don't you guys tackle this one and let me know when you've got an abortion case I can help you with."

So, in closing, Sen. Sam Brownback is an idiot. I can't wait until his presidential campaign goes down in flames.

On a vaguely related note . . .

The state of Massachusetts is considering a state-wide ban on trans fats. You all know how I feel about this shit. This is just the first step, too. Soon they'll be increasing the chocolate ration.

Posted by Ismael Tapia II at 2:13 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)| Filed under Existential Nonsense , Legal Rants , Political Rants , Rants on the News

Well, after years of fighting it, I've finally done it. I've joined Myspace. I don't know why I hadn't before, but I hadn't. You can all see my myspace page here. It's pretty pathetic right now, seeing as how I haven't done anything to it. Also, my only friend is that asshole Tom. So, if any of you would like to be my myspace friend, go ahead and add me. I'm going to go pretend to study now. Wish me luck.

Posted by Ismael Tapia II at 3:26 PM | Permalink | Comments (11)| Filed under Existential Nonsense

There are so many people I've lost track of over the years that I wish I hadn't lost track of over the years. I don't really know what it is--sometimes, you just lose touch with people even though you didn't want to. I hate it when that happens.

I had this friend in elementary school named Zarina. When we were in second grade, we had to do this amazingly stupid assignment. We had to write a paper about our favorite person at school. Why we had to do that, I don't know. Anyway, shortly after we handed these things in, the teacher redid the seating arrangements, and Zarina was assigned to sit next to me. That was fine with me. But, for some reason, I honestly can't remember why, there was some controversy about the whole thing. And I remember that the two of us ended up in the hallway with the teacher. And, anyway, I found out that Zarina had written her paper about me. Which was pretty much the coolest thing that had happened to me to that point.

Zarina and I went to middle school together, where adolescent drama took over for a while. I realize now that Zarina was a very private and shy individual at the time. Of course, I didn't realize that then and just sort of was immature about it. I remember one day, Zarina agreed that she was going to be this other guy's girlfriend (whatever the fuck that means in sixth grade), which pretty much lead to my hating the guy and being pissed at her for a while.

But I got over that and we stayed friends. Eventually, her family decided that they were moving to Mexico City. I wouldn't ever see her again. We agreed to stay friends. We agreed to write. She wrote me within weeks of moving away. And I got the letter, and read it over and over again. But I never wrote back, and I haven't had any contact with her since then.

That's one of the things I regret most in my whole life. It was a stupid, selfish thing for me to do, and I honestly have no idea why I didn't write back. I've heard rumors lately that she's changed--that she's not the same sweet girl I remember. I don't know if that's true, but I really wish there was some way I could get in touch with her. More importantly, I wish that I could go back in time and tell twelve-year-old me not to be an idiot.

And that's only one example.

I'm only thinking about this because I got an unexpected phone call from some of my friends from high school yesterday and, to a large degree, though we've all gone on divergent paths, the things that made us all friends are still present.

The moral of the story: I'm going to try really hard not to lose touch with the friends I've got right now.

Posted by Ismael Tapia II at 2:17 PM | Permalink | Comments (6)| Filed under Existential Nonsense , Life Sucks Sometimes

As I was walking into school this morning, I saw that someone had written a message in pink sidewalk chalk right in front of the door I usually come in through. The message read "Abandon all hope ye who enter here." What a wonderful omen. I'm ready to be done with finals but, even though most of you have been taking finals for some time now, I just had my first one, Remedies, yesterday. I liked the class throughout the semester and kept up fairly well in the reading. I had something like 7 days to study for it, so I went back and reread almost all the material. I felt prepared. So, how did I do?

I have no idea, really. I don't think I bombed the thing, but I also don't think I did extremely well. Which sucks because I really felt like I had a mastery of the material before the exam. I should be used to this feeling by now, but I'm not for some reason.

My next final is tomorrow. It's Contracts II. I'm pass/failing it, so the motivation to study is almost entirely nonexistant. Another problem is that I have paid very little attention to this class. In fact, I've paid so little attention to this class that, if it were my wife, it would have had three affairs with my best friends and made no attempt to hide that fact, just to see if I would notice. And I wouldn't have noticed.

What I'm trying to say is that I might be screwed.

Anyway, as you can see, I've added a countdown to graduation to the right. That way, if you're a UWLS 3L, you'll be reminded of the fact that there's not much time before we're done with school every time you visit. Good luck to those of you who still have finals to go.

Posted by Ismael Tapia II at 2:14 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)| Filed under Existential Nonsense , General Remarks , Law School , Life Sucks Sometimes , Potentially Entirely Unhelpful Analogies

Alright, in a strange twist of irony, the best Journey video isn't by Journey at all. In an amazing landslide, the video for Don't Stop Believin' won, even though it was apparently put together by some drunk college kids. What does that say about Journey? That they suck.

Anyway, it's time for a new poll. This time, you get to voice your opinion on what sucks worse. Personally, I'm voting for finals because, really, I'd rather be doing anything else in the world than spending 12+ hours a day studying.

Posted by Ismael Tapia II at 3:27 PM | Permalink | Comments (10)| Filed under Polls

I don't care what anyone says. The Bends is definitely Radiohead's best album. I mean, look at the fucking track list!

1. Planet Telex. A great opener. Definitely gets the album going really well. 4/5.
2. The Bends. Good. Not great, but good. 3.5/5.
3. High & Dry. Excellent. This song used to be one of my favorite Radiohead songs. Although it's since been surpassed, it's still great. 5/5.
4. Fake Plastic Trees. Another awesome song. Since this song was on MTV after I stopped watching MTV, I wasn't burned out on it. Same with the radio. So, this song still kicks ass. 5/5.
5. Bones. I like this song a lot. I think it rocks pretty hard. 4/5.
6. Nice Dream. I actually don't really care for this song. 2/5.
7. Just (You Do It To Yourself). Others list this as their favoite Radiohead song. I don't think it's that great, though. 3.5/5.
8. My Iron Lung. Another semi-mediocre song, in my opinion. 3.5/5.
9. Bullet Proof...I Wish I Was. Eh. I could take or leave this one. It's a decent depressing song, though. And I like the title. 3.5/5.
10. Black Star. Definitely one of my favorite Radiohead songs, and definitely my first favorite Radiohead song. Still my pick for one of their best efforts ever. 5/5.
11. Sulk. I like this one. I think the guitar's kinda fun. 4/5.
12. Street Spirit (Fade Out). My favorite Radiohead songs ever and one of the best songs of all time generally. 6/5.

So, the average rating is 4.08. That's not bad at all. More importantly, the album holds together really well as a whole. When I sit down to listen to the album (as I just did while studying), I don't skip any songs. And that's an important consideration. I can't say that about Ok Computer (See "Fitter Happier").

And don't get me started on Hail to the Thief. I hated that title from the second I heard it and, in my opinion, the album's only got two or three passable songs, and even they aren't all that great.

So, The Bends is where it's at.

Posted by Ismael Tapia II at 4:54 PM | Permalink | Comments (11)| Filed under Music Reviews

Look. Wisconsin does a few things, but it does them well. First, we make beer. The beer here is better than the beer anywhere else. Fuck you if you don't agree. Second, we have brats. We have an annual bratfest, for fuck's sake, and we try to set a world record for the most brats eaten in a single weekend every time. Almost 200,000 brats in three days is nothing to sneeze at. Third, we drive drunk. Let me rephrase. I don't drive drunk, but a hell of a lot of people do. My 1L criminal law professor told us that, at any given time, there are 20,000 drunk drivers on Wisconsin's roads. That's not good. I don't know where I was going with that. Whatever. Anyway, the other thing we do is we make cheese. Damned good cheese, and a ridiculous amount of it.

So I say we show those hippies out in California who's boss and refuse to give up the national cheese crown. What is this nonsense about them making more cheese than us? That's just not cool. It's staright up bullshit, and I saw we tip all of their dairy cows until they concede the title, once and for all, to Wisconsin.

One possible cause is that we're not eating enough cheese. Well, I for one pledge to do my part. There's a block of sharp cheddar the size of a car battery in my fridge, and I'm going to wittle that bad boy down to nothing as soon as I get home. That's how much I love Wisconsin. Now how about you? Are you doing your part? I expect every single last motherfucking one of you to go out and eat your own body weight in cheese curds, cheese sticks, cheese sauce, fondu (the Melting Pot just opened, after all), and whatever the fuck else has cheese in it.

Go! Go! For the good of the state!

God, I hate studying.

Posted by Ismael Tapia II at 9:44 PM | Permalink | Comments (8)| Filed under Existential Nonsense , Funny Shit , Rants on the News , Things I'm Irrationally Attached To

So, this story got me wondering. I really want to have kids some day. I think I'd make a pretty decent father. I think I'd have a rather unique parenting style, but that's ok--I do everything my own way. First of all, contrary to Mr. nononsense, I'd allow my kid to play video games if he or she wanted to. My friend believes that video games are devoid of any educational benefits. I disagree on that point, but disagree even more with the idea that kids, from the time they're infants, need to be constantly bombarded with educational--and only educational--content. Kids need to play for it's own sake. They need to have the opportunity to be frivolous, lazy, irresonsible. Not all the time, not most of the time, maybe not even often. But sometimes. As soon as a kid turns into a teenager, the innocent, stress-free time is over. I think kids deserve for their first twelve years to be dedicated not only to learning, but also to having a good time.

Along with that philosophy, I think kids need to have a certain sense of awe about the world around them. Kids need to be constantly challenged by their environment, to constantly question what's happening and why--but they shouldn't have all the answers. Part of what makes being a kid so special is the feeling of wonder you get when you see snow or a new magic trick. At the same time, though, I think it's important to be as honest as possible with children. Obviously, children aren't equipped to handle certain situations, and being honest with them in some instances will do more to confuse them then educate them. Still, for the most part, it's going to be a goal of mine to be as honest as I can be with my children. How can I instill the value of honesty if I don't respect them enough to be forthright with them?

So, what does this all have to do with letters to Santa Claus? That story just got me thinking about whether I'm going to tell my kids that their Christmas presents come from Santa Claus. Am I going to tell them that Santa comes down the chimney and leaves all these presents for them if they've been nice but only coal if they've been naughty? I don't really know.

Part of what makes my decision kind of tough is that I never really had Santa when I was a kid. Sure, my mom went through the motions, but she didn't really sell it. That's not meant to be a derrogatory comment about my mom, she always worked really hard to make sure that the holidays were special in her own way. It's just that Christmas meant something different for her than most parents, I think. She didn't worry so much about the Santa myth or instilling a sense of wonder. In any event, I was vaguely aware of the concept of Santa, but I didn't realy believe it. And I don't think Christmas means less to me because of it.

So, anyway, I want my kids to marvel at the world, but I also don't want to outright lie. I have to admit that I have a soft spot for stories of dads dressing up in the big red suit and making a special guest appearance as Santa or seeing a toddler's astonished face when the cookies that were left out the night before have a big bite taken out of them. But I just don't see myself perpetuating that image. And I don't think my kids will be missing out.

At least, I hope they won't be.

Posted by Ismael Tapia II at 3:24 AM | Permalink | Comments (6)| Filed under Existential Nonsense

You know that scene in The Fellowship of the Ring where Sam stops and he says that if he takes one more step, he'll be further from home than he's ever been before? Well, I had one of those moments when I left Flagstaff and drove East. Although I had been to New York City and Boston before, I hadn't driven further East than the Eastern Arizona border. Yes, even though I had lived in Arizona my whole life, I had never been to New Mexico. Now that I have, I know I wasn't missing much.

Anyway, my friends were nice enough to accompany me on the drive from Flagstaff to Madison. It was a hell of a drive, and we arrived in Madison in the late evening. Although my car still had the big Uhaul trailer attached to it, we decided we'd drive downtown and see what we could find. And what we found was State Street.

We parked across the street from what I would learn was Memorial Union. Ironically, this was right by the Law School, although I didn't know that at the time. Anyway, we walked around and (after being impressed by the Red Gym), we walked down State Street towards the capital. I have to say, Flagstaff had a decent bar scene, but that night, walking down State Street at bar time, I knew I was in the big leagues. Or, well, at least the minor leagues. Or something.

Anyway, as I had more time to explore, I got to know State Street a little better, and I have to say that, though it can be a bit of a mixed bag, it's definitely one of the things that makes Madison awesome. Some of my favorite restaurants in Madison are on State Street. For example, Med Cafe's one of my favorite restaurants right now. You've got Buffalo Wild Wings, which is pretty much an awesome place to go if you need chicken wings, even if they charge for ranch, which I think is evil. Then you've got Rising Sons Deli, which is pretty new but a recent obsession of mine. There's Casa de Lara further up, Noodles & Co., the Q (which is way better than Chipotle), Potbelly's, Tutto Pasta, the Parthenon (if there's a better place to go when drunk, I don't know about it).

There're also some pretty decent bars. My favorite State Street bar is probably Paul's Club, just because of the absolutely ridiculous things that have happened there. The City's decent, the Pub's dirty but cool. There's just so many place on and around State Street. It's pretty awesome, especially compared to the four blocks of downtown that Flagstaff had.

There's Halloween, Scanner Dan, the guy who offers to tell you dirty jokes for change, the Chocolate Shoppe, the Overture Center, Crazy Orange Piccolo Guy, the various street performers . . . the list goes on. In the end, even though State Street's gots some pretty shitty establishments (for example, State Street Brats (fratboy douchebags), Frida's (racists), and The State (ugh)), it's still a great place to be sometimes.

And, more importantly, it's one of the things that makes Madison both awesome and unique.

Posted by Ismael Tapia II at 2:34 AM | Permalink | Comments (6)| Filed under 150 Things to Love About Madison , Existential Nonsense , Fun Shit I've Done , Restaurant and Bar Reviews , Reviews , Things I'm Irrationally Attached To

I know that December 7th is a day that will live in infamy, but the day is special for me because something positive happened that day. You see, it was ten years ago today (or yesterday, I guess) that I first saw the Smashing Pumpkins live and in concert.

It was on their Infinite Sadness tour, in support of Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness. It was at the very height of their popularity, and it was the biggest crowd I've ever seen them play for. It was at the America West Arena in Phoenix. And it was awesome.

The Smashing Pumpkins were the first band I was ever really, hard-core into. I had to know every single thing I possibly could about them. Each of their songs felt like it was for me. It was just an experience I hadn't and wouldn't have with any other band. So when the Pumpkins came to my state, I was going to go, no matter what. As it turned out, going meant that I had to go with this fucking kid from my pre-calc class.

We got along rather antagonistically. He was a dork. I was, too. The difference was that I knew I was, where he pretended that he wasn't. Part of that meant that, whenver "cool" people were around, he had to be pretty much an unmitigated dick to me. That was fine with me--his brother had a car and was willing to drive us to the concert, which was three hours away. This guy may have been an asshole, but he was my ticket to the band.

We got to the Arena and I was ridiculously excited. I had never been to a concert before. The guy I was with, his name was Sam, played it cool, but I think he was relatively excited as well. Anyway, we got patted down by security and went to our seats, which were extraordinarily shitty. We were way up in the nosebleed section. But, hey, that's what we could afford.

The opening band was Garbage. Little did I know then that I would see Butch Vig again at Genna's, one of my favorite Madison bars. But I digress.

Garbage sucked. They were fucking horrible. I've never really cared for the band, and they weren't a good live band. It doesn't matter, though. The opening band could have been awesome, I wouldn't have noticed. I was so excited to see the Smashing Pumpkins that I wasn't really paying attention to anything that was going on.

The house lights went up after Garbage played and I took a minute to examine my surroundings and the people around me. There wasn't anything too interesting going on until, just a few rows in front of me, I saw someone rolling a joint! Holy shit, man, a joint! That was the first time I had ever seen pot in real life. Crazy.

Anyway, after what seemed like forever, the Smashing Pumpkins finally got on stage. It was pretty much unbelievable. They played all of the awesome Mellon Collie songs (Zero, Bullet with Butterfly Wings, Tonight, Tonight, Here Is no Why, 1979, Thru the Eyes of Ruby, almost the whole album) as well as tons of songs I didn't know at the time because I hadn't had a chance to buy all of their older albums yet. Although I was really far away, I could see Billy Corgan moving around on stage, being really dynamic. I could also tell that he was wearing his classic costume for that era: the silver pants, the yellow belt, the black Zero shirt. It was awesome.

At one point (I think during Muzzle), the band stopped playing and Billy got on the microphone and said that it wasn't cool to throw things at the band. He pointed out one guy who had apparenty thrown something sharp and asked that security remove him. They did, and the band resumed playing. And it was awesome.

Ultimately, I saw The Smashing Pumpkins a total of three times before they broke up (I've seen Billy Corgan four times total--I saw Zwan when they were in Phoenix. They were decent. Now, maybe I'll get to see the Smashing Pumpkings again. I hope so, anyway.). The second time I saw them was the only time that I saw the original line up, and I have to say that that was definitely my favorite show by any band ever. The third time I saw them was on their Machina tour. That was also an awesome show. The first time I saw them, honestly, was my least favorite. But it was still my first time. And I'll never forget it.

Wow. I really can't believe it's been ten whole years.

Posted by Ismael Tapia II at 2:55 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)| Filed under Existential Nonsense , Fun Shit I've Done , Music Reviews , Reviews , The Smashing Pumpkins

You know how they used to say that marijuana was a "gateway drug" and that, if you smoked so much as one puff of pot, it was only a matter of months before you would find yourself making shit porn on the internet so that you could buy black-tar heroine? Well, I think that Paris Hilton is pretty much a "gateway trainwreck." If you start hanging out with Ms. HIlton, I think it's only a matter of days before your vagina makes its world debut. Put another way, there's no faster way to know that your life is a trainwreck than finding a picture of you and Paris Hilton after a night of heavy drinking on thesuperficial.com.

That's why I was so shocked by the fact that there is a mention of Hayden Panattiere's (the girl that plays Claire Bennet on Heroes) friendship with Ms. Hilton on Ms. Panattiere's Wikipedia page. Ms. Panattiere's only 17, so I think it's just kind of sad that her life is already headed towards trainwreck. I just hope she doesn't pull a Lindsay Lohan, as that would greatly diminish my enjoyment of a great show.

So, let me pass on a warning to one of my favorite Heroes cast members.

For the sweet love of god, Hayden, stay the sweet fuck away from Paris Hilton. She represents pretty much everything that's wrong with America. She's stupid, vapid, too skinny for her own good, has no interest in public service or education, and does nothing more than leach off of society. She contributes nothing more than second-rate sex tapes. Which her parents are proud of her for, apparently.

Posted by Ismael Tapia II at 11:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)| Filed under Funny Shit , Heroes , Rants

New York City has banned trans fat. I have to say that this is one of the most ridiculous exercises of legislative power I've ever heard of. I honestly can't express how fucking angry I am because of this law.

Let me explain. It's my fucking body. I'm overweight, but I'm not an idiot. I don't eat healthy and I don't exercise enough. That's my fault. You know what, it would be great if I ate healthier food. I would lose weight as a result, and I would probably live longer. I wouldn't be winded after going up a flight of stairs. All of that would be pretty much awesome. But I barely have time to study, work, and get six hours of sleep a night. I sure as shit don't have time to cook and exercise. Yes, I could eat healtier, even if I'm eating out, but I don't want to sometimes. Sometimes I'd rather go to Quaker Steak and Lube and eat chicken wings and french fries until I feel like I'm chicken drunk. And that's my fucking right!

It is unbelievable to me that anyone could believe that the government is validly using its authority when it tells me what I can and cannot willingly and intelligently put in my body. It is not the government's place to make me eat healthy. This is such an intrusion into my life--and everyone's life--that it's truly offensive to me. Where is personal autonomy and personal responsibility? I have the right--or, rather, I thought I had the right--to make my own choices. Sure, I have to pay the price for those choices, but it is my right to make my choices.

Let's look at some of the comments from the CNN article.

"I don't care about what might be politically correct and what's not," said Murray Bader, nursing a cup of coffee at Dunkin' Donuts on Tuesday morning. "I want to live longer!"

So, let me see if I've got this straight. Because you have no will powe and can't keep yourself away from the fucking donuts, I have to lose the ability to have a fucking bearclaw? Fuck you, you miserable piece of shit!

Let's look at another:

This is New York. . . . People eat out a lot. We don't have a choice. We need someone to make it a healthier proposition.

You need someone to make it healthier for you to eat out? How about this--how about you watch what you put in your mouth? What's next? Do you need someone to help you wipe your ass? Do you need someone to make sure that you're making all the right decisions in your life? Do you need someone to tell you what jobs to take? When and whether to have children? UGH!

Then there's some asshole from Yale. You can almost smell his self-righteousness

"It's basically a slow form of poison," said David Katz, director of the Yale Prevention Research Center. "I applaud New York City and frankly, I think there should be a nationwide ban. . . . Would you want the burden of asking your restaurant whether there's lead in the food? Whether there's arsenic in the bread? For all I know, maybe arsenic makes bread more crusty. But it's poison."

Let's see if I understand your argument, Yale boy. In your world, apparently there are two possible states of regulation: either some substance is illegal or there's no regulation at all. It's not possible, apparently, that we require a full disclosure of a food's ingredients and nutritional information, a measure I would support 100%. No, instead, we either have to ban the substance completely or have some sort of laissez faire system where, hey, if someone puts arsenic in your bread, you're fucked. Listen, if someone knows there's arsenic in their bread, knows arsenic kills you, and chooses to eat the bread anyway, that's their fucking choice and the government has no authority to stop them from making that choice. None.

Further, the argument that "it's bad for you so it should be illegal" is simply ridiculous. There are any number of things that are bad for me (for example, pizza, salt, double cheeseburgers, sugar, chicken wings, chocolate, coffee, etc.) that are not illegal. In fact, I have ready access to any of those things and innumerable other harmful substances. So, what, should we crack down on pizzarias and In-n-Out? Fuck no!

Ultimately, trans fat is bad, but that's not the end of the analysis. In a free society, you need a reason--a good reason--to make something illegal. The fact that something's bad for you, that it makes you fat, isn't a good enough reason because a) there are other ways of dealing with the problem (I'm sure that if McDonald's was required to tell you just how many calories your value meal had, you'd think twice before ordering it again) and b) the potential harm cannot happen to anyone other than the person consenting to the behavior.

Moreover, it is the government's job to protect me from you, not myself. Women in our society have the right to an abortion, and that right is at least partially based on the notion that the woman's interest in her own body outweighs the states. In other words, a woman has the right to self-determination. Why, then, should I not have the same right? The fact of the matter is that you cannot be both pro-choice and support this ban. Even if you're pro-life, the only person being affected is me, and it is absurd to say that the government's interest in keeping me from being fat outweighs my own autonomy. Everything this country is supposed to stand for is meaningless and empty if I don't have the right to be a total, unmitigated moron.

Like everything else, this debate comes down to Demolition Man. If you'll recall, that movie involved a utopian future in which all restaurants are Taco Bell, there's no crime, and you get fined for cursing. Everyone's also restricted from engaging in certain behavior, including eating unhealthy food. John Spartan goes underground and finds the leader of a group of rebels, Edgar Friendly (played by Denis Leary), who tells Spartan why some people oppose the government:

I'm into freedom of speech and freedom of choice. I'm the kind of guy likes to sit in a greasy spoon and wonder "Gee, should I have the T-bone steak or the jumbo rack of barbecued ribs with the side order of gravy fries?" I want high cholesterol. I wanna eat bacon and butter and buckets of cheese, okay? I want to smoke a Cuban cigar the size of Cincinnati in the non-smoking section. I want to run through the streets naked with green jello all over my body reading Playboy magazine. Why? Because I suddenly might feel the need to, okay, pal? I've seen the future. Do you know what it is? It's a 47-year-old virgin sitting around in his beige pajamas, drinking a banana-broccoli shake, singing "I'm an Oscar Meyer Wiener."

There you go. Give me my fucking trans fat.

Posted by Ismael Tapia II at 1:15 AM | Permalink | Comments (13)| Filed under Legal Rants , Philosophical Rants , Political Rants , Rants , Rants on the News

That's what my trial ad prof just said of my cross examination of a witness in my mock trial final. Let's see it again, just for the sake of gloating:

That was one of the best crosses I've ever seen a student do.

Holy shit! I'm invincible! That's pretty much one of the best things that's happened to me in law school and, more importantly, it made me even more sure than ever that I want to be a litigator.

I've never really doubted it, to be honest, but this trial ad class convinced me beyond all possible doubt. Litigating seems like the most fun ever. You get to go to court and do something that cannot possibly be descibed as boring, you get to cross-examine people, you get to impeach people, you get to object--in short, it's the best thing ever.

Man, I can't wait to be a lawyer!

Posted by Ismael Tapia II at 8:11 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)| Filed under Existential Nonsense , General Awesomeness , Law School

Not much is going on right now. Finals are about to kick into full gear--the last day of classes is Wednesday. I don't have a final for a little under two weeks, and I don't have my last final for a little under three weeks. I'm not flying home until the 23rd. That's ok, though. I'd rather take it relatively easy and give myself the time to really study than rush and be all stressed out.

Speaking of studying, that's been really tough lately. It's not that I don't care or that I don't want to do well, it's just that the motivation has been lacking for some reason. It'll kick into gear soon enough, though. Tonight, after watching the movie Deja Vu (which was ok, but nothing special) with Cole and Kristin, I actually came home and did some reading.

Anyway, I'm sure I'll do fine this semester, so I'm not really too worried about it at all.

TV-related rant . . .

I like the show Monk on USA. I've only seen it a few times, but I think it's pretty funny and good. For those of you who haven't seen it, the basic premise of the show is that the main character, Monk, is an ex-cop who now runs his own detective agency or something. The twist is that Monk, while a Sherlock Holmes-level investigative genius, is ridiculously obsessive compulsive and, really, kinda wussy. Still, he comes off as just quirky enough to be interesting without being creepy. Also, co-star Traylor Howard, although only about a 3 or 4 on the Hollywood scale, is still pretty friggin' cute.

Anyway, the show's currently promoting what I think is the most retarded idea I've ever heard. Posing the question "what's better, black and white or color," USA is going to run an episode all in black and white. Then, immediately thereafter, they're going to run the exact same episode in color. Then, people will be allowed to vote for which one they liked more. What the fuck? I'm sorry, that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Why the fuck would anyone prefer some stupid-looking black and white episode? And why would anyone stick around for two hours to watch the exact same episode?

I honestly can't think of a way of expressing how incredibly stupid I think this idea is. Someone should be shot.

That reminds me of something. I wish there was someone in charge of disciplining stupid ad executives. And I wish that someone was me. For example, the guys who dreamed up this black and white v. color thing would get called into my office, whereupon I would verbally berate them before tying them down and forcing them to watch the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy (extended editions, of course) first in black and white, then in technicolor, then full modern color (total run time: approx. 42 hours). Of course, they wouldn't be allowed to eat, drink, or go to the bathroom. Then, at the end, they'd have to vote for which version was their favorite, and any of them that didn't pick the full color version would have to repeat the process until they got it right.

Don't even get me started on what I would do to the idiots behind the Capital One credit card ads.

Posted by Ismael Tapia II at 2:16 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)| Filed under Existential Nonsense , Law School , Movie Reviews , Rants About Things That Make Me Irrationally Angry , Television Reviews , The Lord of the Rings

Ever since I was a little kid, winter's been my favorite season. The thing I really like about winter is that it's the season when it's easiest to feel cozy. There's nothing like looking out your window, seeing the beautiful snow falling to the ground, and then rolling over, curling up with your blankets, and going right back to sleep. I did that this morning, in fact.

Yes, the Midwest got hit by the first snowstorm of the year today. I hadn't been reading the weather forecasts, so I was kinda surprised when I looked out my window and saw the snow. There wasn't much of it, maybe 2-3 inches. Nothing like the 16 inches they got in Kenosha.

I've lived in three different cities in my life, and each move has been to a larger city with a colder climate. Nogales was downright hot, and I can only remember one big snowstorm, although it was on Christmas, so that was extra cool. Still, winter and snow were definitely among the reasons I moved to Flagstaff. But, Flagstaff winters were kind of disappointing--I wanted more snow and lower temperatures. So, here I am in Madison.

I don't know why I like the cold so much, really. People seem to think that it's strange for a kid from the desert to like cold weather, but I don't think it's really that anomalous. I hate the heat. You can't get away from it, it's just always there. I can deal with it to a point, but Phoenix temperatures are simply unacceptable. You can always do something about cold, though. Add more layers, turn the heat up, move around. You can always warm yourself up, but you can never escape the heat. Besides, I have a pretty high tolerance for cold.

So, that's definitely one of the things that adds to the fact that Madison is the best city I've ever lived in: the winters.

Posted by Ismael Tapia II at 2:17 AM | Permalink | Comments (9)| Filed under 150 Things to Love About Madison , Existential Nonsense , Things I'm Irrationally Attached To

It's the most horrible time of the year
With the 1Ls a-crying
And frantically asking you "What's a voir dire?"
It's the most horrible time of the year

It's the shit-shittiest two weeks of all
With those stressed-out study groups and no more class meetings
For the rest of the fall
It's the shit-shittiest two weeks of all

They'll be checking your ID, making sure you're not nineteen,
Ne'er mind the kids on the third flo'
There'll be outlines for classes that everyone passes
For exams from long, long ago

It's the most horrible time of the year
There'll be much hurried reading
And sleep will be fleeting
When test day draws near
It's the most horrible time of the year

They'll be checking your ID, making sure you're not nineteen,
Ne'er mind the kids on the third flo'
There'll be outlines for classes that everyone passes
For exams from long, long ago

It's the most horrible time of the year
There'll be much hurried reading
And sleep will be fleeting
When test day draws near
It's the most horrible time of the year

It's the most horrible time of the year

Yeah, it's the most horrible time of the yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaar!

*Sung to the tune of "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year."

Posted by Ismael Tapia II at 2:32 AM | Permalink | Comments (7)| Filed under Existential Nonsense , Funny Shit , Law School , Life Sucks Sometimes