Another Reason Why I'm a Huge Asshole

December 18, 2006 2:17 PM

here are so many people I've lost track of over the years that I wish I hadn't lost track of over the years. I don't really know what it is--sometimes, you just lose touch with people even though you didn't want to. I hate it when that happens.

I had this friend in elementary school named Zarina. When we were in second grade, we had to do this amazingly stupid assignment. We had to write a paper about our favorite person at school. Why we had to do that, I don't know. Anyway, shortly after we handed these things in, the teacher redid the seating arrangements, and Zarina was assigned to sit next to me. That was fine with me. But, for some reason, I honestly can't remember why, there was some controversy about the whole thing. And I remember that the two of us ended up in the hallway with the teacher. And, anyway, I found out that Zarina had written her paper about me. Which was pretty much the coolest thing that had happened to me to that point.

Zarina and I went to middle school together, where adolescent drama took over for a while. I realize now that Zarina was a very private and shy individual at the time. Of course, I didn't realize that then and just sort of was immature about it. I remember one day, Zarina agreed that she was going to be this other guy's girlfriend (whatever the fuck that means in sixth grade), which pretty much lead to my hating the guy and being pissed at her for a while.

But I got over that and we stayed friends. Eventually, her family decided that they were moving to Mexico City. I wouldn't ever see her again. We agreed to stay friends. We agreed to write. She wrote me within weeks of moving away. And I got the letter, and read it over and over again. But I never wrote back, and I haven't had any contact with her since then.

That's one of the things I regret most in my whole life. It was a stupid, selfish thing for me to do, and I honestly have no idea why I didn't write back. I've heard rumors lately that she's changed--that she's not the same sweet girl I remember. I don't know if that's true, but I really wish there was some way I could get in touch with her. More importantly, I wish that I could go back in time and tell twelve-year-old me not to be an idiot.

And that's only one example.

I'm only thinking about this because I got an unexpected phone call from some of my friends from high school yesterday and, to a large degree, though we've all gone on divergent paths, the things that made us all friends are still present.

The moral of the story: I'm going to try really hard not to lose touch with the friends I've got right now.

6 Comments

Dee said:

i know where you're coming from ismael. maybe because i'm surrounded by unfamiliar things, but i've become extremely nostalgic since we got to taiwan. it's shaming to realize how far you can drift from people who are really important to you as a consequence of nothing more than laziness.

luck for us lazy fucks, old friends tend to be easy to find in good old cyberspace.

also, i can't get over how awful that assignment was.

December 18, 2006 10:04 PM

morenonesense said:

I too, have those deep thoughts sometime. But the more they come to me, the more the realization that we cannot stop the spread of growing apart in this age of modernization. Perhaps nobody ever could, but the lack of a sense of community is the result, I feel. Therefore, I think teh thing to do is just knock somebody up as quickly as possible, so you can hang out with your kids, cause they prolly won't leave until they're 18 or so.

December 18, 2006 11:54 PM

TheExpat said:

My mom and I moved every two years or so when I was growing up, so I've been slightly better adjusted to separation from friends and whatnot.

As a result of being a latchkey kid for most of my childhood, I have become sort of a loner, though I suppose that doesn't count now that the "'ol ball and chain" has found her way around my ankles.

morenonesense, cherish single life while you still can! There's still hope!! Bright shiney hope!!!

((Eh?, what's that? Oh. Oh, okay, yes dear))

I have to go wash the dishes now, sorry.

December 19, 2006 1:45 AM

Santi said:

Dude, Joe was SO wasted... or not.

December 19, 2006 1:53 AM

Dee said:

morenonsense, i love you from the bottom of my twisted heart.

December 19, 2006 8:47 PM

Ismael Tapia II said:

I have to disagree with you, Mr. Nononsense. I think that the technology available nowadays makes it easier to stay in touch with people in faraway places. I mean, I can call anyone in the US for free, essentially. And wasn't it you that once said that anyone who's not on IM is pretty much acknowledging that they don't want to keep in touch?

I think it's easier to keep in touch now than ever.

December 21, 2006 3:12 PM

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