Here is No Why

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Of Mexican Soap Operas and Shopping

December 26, 2006 12:38 AM

ow. Every time I think that Spanish soap operas can't get worse, they get worse. I'm not even going to attempt to explain what the fucking plot to this one is. I will say this: it involves a woman in bondage gear who may or may not be a stripper or a whore, her pimp and/or boyfriend and/or brother who dresses in zoot suits as if that's ok, some seemingly unrelated woman who's in love with the patriarch of some family (with whom she's moving in) and speaks to pictures of her dead parents and the Virgin Mary. That's all I can glean from what I've seen so far. In any event, it's bad.

In other news, my mom and aunt are remarkably well-versed in Mexican celebrity gossip. They know all the names of the people, who they're sleeping with, why they're famous, all that shit. It's crazy. Last night, we were watching some sort of Latin-American Grammys or something, and my parents were able to determine that it was a repeat because one second-rate Spanish rock star wasn't sitting next to the woman he's not married to. I never knew my parents were into that stuff.

We went shopping for shoes for me today. I hate shopping for myself. They never, ever have what I want and, when I find something I like, it doesn't fit. Today, my freakishly large feet prevented me from buying the shoes I wanted. I ended up buying some shoes I was lukewarm about because I just wanted to get the ordeal over with.

My cousins Kaky and Gloria, along with Gloria's daughter Mia, came over tonight. Mia's the cutest little baby ever. Seriously.

AHA! Upon further review, it appears that the zoot suit guy is, in fact, a pimp. And a biker thug. Who just got schooled by a priest. And by "schooled" I mean "got punched in the face and then ran away."

And there was just an extreme close-up of a guy with an eyepatch. Ok, I'm done.