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I Don't Care What Anyone Says--Janis Joplin Sucks Ass

April 19, 2007 10:38 AM

was driving into school this morning listening, as I usually do, to The Lake, a classic rock station that recently switched over to a "shuffle" format. I don't really understand why they did that, but whatever. In any event, Me and Bobby McGee came on, and I realized how much Ms. Joplin sucks. She's really fucking bad.

I know some of you out there (I'm looking at you, Dee) are Janis Joplin fans, but I just don't get it. Anyone can scream! It's not "distinctive" or "unique" or "revolutionary"--she's just a bad singer, so she screams. She's the Sanjaya Malakar of the 60s.

Part of it, of course, is my disdain for singers that just sing. Ninety-nine percent of singers that just sing suck. Look at Bono, Liam Gallagher, Robert Plant (I don't care what you say--the man was terrible), and a bunch of others I can't even think of right now. If you're going to be in a band, then, goddamnit, contribute more than singing. Anyone can sing.

Even the fact that I associate Little Piece of My Heart with an overwhelmingly positive memory (that time that we were in that car going up Mt. Elden and PJ was drunk in the backseat and he was wearing that ridiculous military helmet he used to wear, and he was passed out and his head kept knocking against the windows--good times, good times) cannot serve to mitigate my hatred for Ms. Joplin and her music.

Although her music's not as bad as, say Fergie (which, as Mr. Vice points out, is extremely shitty), it's still pretty bad, and not deserving of the notoriety or attention it gets. So let's resolve right now: no more listening to Janis Joplin.



5 Comments


Utah said:

FALSE!

April 19, 2007 10:23 PM



Dee said:

well, it saddens me that such an awesome memory can't even sway you on this one. i can still remember the exact sound of the helmet tapping the window...
we can agree to disagree on this one. your feelings towards singers who just sing is not without merit, but opinions will almost always differ on whether or not a person's singing ability is any good or not. i still feel that NOT anybody can just scream like her. people (including yours truly, as you may or may not recall) attempt it at karaoke bars all the time and fail miserably.

April 19, 2007 11:05 PM



tRJ said:

Bone used to be a really good singer, though I think he's lost a little of his control with age.

And, for the record, he plays guitar.

April 20, 2007 12:37 PM



Ismael Tapia II said:

Eh, I'm just not into her, I guess.

As for Bono (I assume that's who you're referring to, tRJ), he's a decent singer, but I'd punch him in the face if I ever met him. He's so full of himself, I'm surprised he has to eat.

And I didn't know he played guitar. Does he do so on the albums or live? I've never even seen him near a guitar.

April 20, 2007 3:45 PM



tRJ said:

I meant Bono; I am jacked up on Hydrocodone, so I can barely see straight.

Anyway, he is credited with guitar (and harmonica!) on every U2 album I own, which is everything from Boy to Achtung Baby. And he plays live, too, or at least he did back on Rattle and Hum.

This is not to say he isn't a pretentious jackass; he changed his name from Paul to Bono Vox for cripes sake (yes, that's screwy Latin for "good voice"). Just saying: he does play a guitar.

April 20, 2007 5:36 PM



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