Fuck You, Bono. No, Seriously.

June 8, 2007 12:43 AM

f you go to CNN.com right now, one of their top stories is a video about how Bono, who's at the G8 summit, got so angry that he took his glasses off. The man takes off his fucking sunglasses, and it's fucking headline news. Am I in some bizzaro universe right now? If I push something off of my desk, will it fall ip to the ceiling? If I throw a ceramic plate against the wall, will it bounce like a rubber ball? Seriously, what kind of a universe am I living in?

First of all, what the fuck is Bono doing at the G8 summit to begin with? His wikipedia page does not mention any sort of advanced degree in government or economics, so I assume that he doesn't have one. Hell, it doesn't even specify that he graduated from high school. As far as I'm aware, no country has elected him to any position of authority or power. So why, exactly, is the lead singer for a band that reached its creative zenith over two decades ago at anything with the leaders of the free world? What the fuck is he doing there? Is he going up to German Chancellor Angela Merkel and asking her what she thought of How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb?

But let's not lose sight of what's really at issue here: the man took off his fucking sunglasses. What's CNN going to report next? "Matt Damon walks dog," "Jessica Alba loses contact," "Vin Diesel walks around, looks confused"? Seriously, this is bullshit. Everyone at CNN that was even remotely involved in making the decision to post video of Bono taking off his fucking sun-fucking-glasses should be shot.

The man's already a raging egomaniac. Are we trying to convinve him he's a fucking living god or something? Fuck.

1 Comments

TheExpat said:

I respect Bono's work with world leaders on the subject of world hunger, but before this, I always despised the man for his smug attitude, cheap musical tricks, and circus ringmaster-like showmanship. I even wore a shirt when I was much younger that said, 'Kill Bono', and though the phrase predated U2 and its front man, to me it meant 'Kill Bono'.

Now? I could care less if he removes his smugliest of accessories for any reason, despite the fact that they seem to have been surgically grafted to his head since the '90's. Also, in light of his work in Africa, I have made a peace in my heart.

And so, for this latest of Bono-related pap news, I must now blame the media. He's one of the few celebrities who puts his money where his mouth is, and their cheap portrayal of Bono is even cheaper than he can sometimes come across himself.

Let it go, Ismael. Breath deep, drink some bottom shelf whiskey, do whatever you have to do.

June 9, 2007 4:00 AM

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