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Here's Something . . .

June 15, 2007 3:41 PM

ood fancy crap, I've been busy. That, together with the laziness that's left over after I finish the stuff I have to do everyday, leaves me with very little time to write out a semi-intelligible thought on here. More importantly, however, absolutely nothing of great import has happened lately, leaving me without things to share. My lack of time has been so complete, in fact, that I haven't even really had time to keep up with any news, so I don't even have anything unrelated to me to rant about. I plan on fixing that right now.

First of all, I'm pissed that I've been failling, lately, to put the titles of various things in the proper typeface. This is annoying to me--but, I'm sure, no one else--because I'm a self-avowed Bluebook geek. So, I'm going to start doing all of these things in accordance with the Chicago Manual of Style from now on. Book, film, and album titles will be italicized. Individual songs will appear in quotation marks.

Second, Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer opened today. I have no doubt that it will be a hit, unfortunately. It's currently getting a 33 percent at Rotten Tomatoes, which is surprising--I expected it not to break 10 percent. This movie was just destined to suck: A super-powered family? Lame. An invisible woman? Lame. A bad guy named Dr. Doom? Lame. A morally ambiguous character that's a fucking Silver Surfer? Lame. As I've said before, Stan Lee and Jack Kirby really missed the mark with the Fantastic Four. More importantly, however, the filmmakers have strayed from the subject matter in the areas where it was important to stay faithful and stayed faithful in the areas where it was important to stray. And if you're going to make a movie about the Silver Surfer's arrival on Earth as the herald of Galactus, then don't make Galactus a fucking cloud! You'd better give me a giant in purple and pink armor or not even try.

Still, I kinda wanna watch this--who's down?

Third, I know this is old news, but the fact that Paris Hilton is in jail is one of the clearest signs that there is a God that I've seen in a while. I hate stupid, snotty, spoiled bitches more than almost anything, so seeing their queen thrown in the slammer is just about the funniest thing that's ever happened. On a more serious note, though, I really hope that this serves to destroy Ms. Hilton's tween fanbase. The thought that there are young women out there that actually look up to and respect Ms. Hilton literally makes me sad for our children and question our adults' fitness as parents. If even one little girl out there realizes that being a stupid whore isn't a good thing as a result of this, then some measure of justice has been served.

Fourth, Guitar Hero II on Hard is hard. I had pretty much mastered Medium, but Hard is just ridiculous. Although I mocked this game for a long time, it's really, really fun. And, as co-SME pointed out, Guitar Hero III looks like it's going to be even better, since it's going to include "Cherub Rock," "My Name Is Jonas," "Paint It Black," and "Even Flow." Oh, and just for you, Mr. Utah, it's also going to include Foghat's "Slow Ride."

So there.



1 Comments


tRJ said:

Hell, I'll watch it with you. I saw the first one during a summer film flurry, so I might as well see this one, too. You're right though; it'll be crap.

June 16, 2007 10:55 PM



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