<-The Eighth Thing to Love About Madison: Vilas Park Zoo (Also, Sometimes Saturdays Kick Ass) |Main|Stars->

Things I Cannot Live Without and Are You British or Retarded?

June 5, 2007 12:45 AM

hen I first saw that Apple was releasing a phone, I was underwhelmed. Then I saw the TV ads. And, although the last thing I wanted to do was join the legions of mindless iPodophiles out there, I don't see how I can continue living without one. I mean, seriously--it's a fucking touchscreen phone that does pretty much every cool technological thing you could ask a small, portable device to do. I don't care what anyone says--touchscreens are awesome. Sure, they've generally sucked on phones, but that's mostly because they were designed to be used with those lame stylus things that used to come with touchscreen devices. The real problem with touchscreens hasn't been the technology, it's been the interface. Although I'll never own an Apple computer, I have to admit that their interfaces kick ass. So, I think that the iPhone will probably be the best touchscreen interface phone ever. Whether that means it's worth the completely ridiculous price tag remains to be seen (personally, I bet it underperforms).

And speaking of touchscreens, how have I gotten to this point in my life without the Microsoft Surface? Take a look at these videos and tell me you don't want one:

I mean, seriously! That kicks ass. If that's not one step closer to being on the bridge of the starship Enterprise, then I don't know what is. I've said it before and I'll say it again: I love the future. The only thing they need to do now is either build in the capability for these devices to deliver tactile feedback or train humans not to expect tactile feedback while typing and the whole way we interact with computers will be completely different forever. And that's going to kick ass.

Now, let's get to the part where the British are stupid. The 2012 Olympics are going to take place in London. That's cool with me. What is not cool with me is the fucking logo the people in charge of the London Olympics recently unveiled:

Seriously, what the fuck is that shit? The Olympics are one of the most awesome things we've got in the modern world. I've heard a lot of talk lately about how college sports are much more fun to watch than pro sports. College sports, the argument goes, are just more "pure," the kids are playing--for the most part--because they love the game. Sure, some of them will go into the pro leagues, bu the vast majority will not. There aren't contract disputes and season-eliminating strikes. There's just the sport. I can say that I certainly enjoy college football infinitely more than pro football.

The Olympics are like college football times a billion. These people are the top athletes in their respective sports, and the vast majority of them hold down full-time jobs. These guys get up at 4am, train until 8, put in a full day at the office or Home Depot or whatever, train some more, and then catch a few hours of sleep before doing it all again. In other words, for the most part,* olympians--and the Olympics generally--are an awesome thing. The people in charge of this shit should know that, and the logo that will represent the Olympics to the whole world should respect that. It should be dignified and simple. It should not look like Fred Flintstone's acid-inspired art homework. Seriously, what the fuck?

Tessa Jowell, an olympic minister, said this about the logo:

This is an iconic brand that sums up what London 2012 is all about -- an inclusive, welcoming and diverse Games that involves the whole country.

Listen here, you stupid twit, the Olympics aren't a fucking brand! McDonald's, Oscar Meyer, and Spam--those are brands. But the Olympics aren't.

So take your stupid logo and shove its jagged shards up your ass.

*I say "for the most part" because Bode Miller is a douchebag. I also wasn't too fond of that olympian that was in school with us for a while. A speedwalker? Seriously, what the fuck?

Powered by TagBoard Message Board

Name URL or Email Messages(smilies)

RSS