Concerning Time and the Lack Thereof

July 17, 2007 2:23 AM

friend of mine that I haven't talked to in almost a year called me on Friday. Twice. But I haven't called her back yet. Not because I don't want to, not because I don't miss her, not because I don't want to see how she's doing, but because I don't have time. I fucking hate studying for the bar exam.

I don't usually stress out too much, and I've been entirely too nonstressed about the bar. Although it's certainly possible that I will fail, Illinois has upwards of an 80 percent passage rate, so I just don't have any supermotivating fear. And, besides, I don't have a job yet, in Chicago or otherwise. So it's possible that I'll take the bar and then find a job in Wisconsin, anyway. In other words, the odds are in my favor and, even if I get fucked, I've got a safety net. These things together mean that I'm just not superstressed.

Still, I had a moment of panic tonight. Not about the bar, but about the effect that studying for the bar--together with trying to finish up my Law Review stuff--has had on my nonlegal life. I felt like a horrible, terrible person. I've got some amendments I need to make for the Wisconsin bar application (nothing major, I just forgot to include some zip codes which are apparently imperative in determining whether I have the necessary character and fitness), I need to mail my lease extension letter to my landlord so that I'll have somewhere to live after the end of the month, I have to mail a few other things, I've got some bills to pay, my apartment has reached almost unprecedented levels of disorder and uncleanliness, I haven't spent nearly enough time with the cats lately, I've neglected some of my best friends. The list goes on and on.

The worst part about it, really, is my friends. One of my best friends moved to New Zealand a few months ago, but I was too busy to have a real conversation with him before he left. Basically, I've been an asshole to all of my non-Madison friends for about the past year, and I feel really bad about that. Sorry, guys.

I hope that I'll be able to catch up on all this stuff after July 25th, but, as Mr. Morenononsense pointed out in a rare phone conversation the other day, people get more busy after they get real jobs, not less. Still, I firmly believe that I can keep in touch with everyone (not to mention keep abreast of my other responsibilities) once I'm free of the responsibilities I have now. Studying and Law Review are both things that I do for the whole day. Today, for example, I was at school at ten to do some editing and I stopped studying at about 11:30. Hopefully my future job won't regularly require me to work that many hours in one day. Hopefully.

Anyway, I'm going to go to bed now so that I can do this all over tomorrow. God, is it August yet?

3 Comments

Utah said:

I'll be back in Madison after you all pass the bar...mainly because I bought a movie for 99 cents today that I intend to force everyone to watch, and I anticipate will be the greatest thing ever: Karate Cop.

July 17, 2007 8:45 PM

Dee said:

i know what you mean, dude. sometimes i wish so hard for a time machine that it hurts. i'm glad i made such a nuisance out of myself by showing up at the house day in and day out, because now it's an extremely rare treat to hear anyone's voice, let alone get together. sigh. at least we have the internets, anyhow. there is some semblance of contact, even if it is pretty impersonal.

hang in there, you'll have passed before you know it!

July 17, 2007 9:28 PM

kevin lomax said:

Once you have a real job though you'll need to be working a lot earlier than 10 am.

July 17, 2007 11:04 PM

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