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Tequila Night

August 11, 2007 3:41 AM

s it turns out, I like Mexican food. Who would have thought? In any event, I ate so much ridiculous Mexican food tonight that I was neraly out of commission for tequila night. I swear, after chips and salsa, fajitas, water, and about sixteen margaritas, I was about to explode. And not at all buzzed.

After some meandering, we ended up at the Silver Dollar, one of Madison's best dive bars. Co-SME showed up with his girlfriend, adding to the crowd consisting of me, pH, Mr. Vice, Mr. Utah, Emily-in-Chief, and New SAE. One of the night's main attractions, apparently, was a much-hyped drinking contest between me and Co-SME. The problem, though, was that I was so full that I literally would not have been able to handle chugging large amounts of beer. Or small amounts of beer. In fact, I could hardly breath. I felt like shit.

So, after Co-SME, in a rather impressive display of Sconnie bravado, downed six beers in about three minutes, I called off the drinking contest. Not because I was scared of losing, mind you--on a good day, I've got him covered. Rather, I just didn't want my stomach to explode. An interesting (unintentional?) side effect, however, was that Co-SME went from stone-cold sober to wasted in about fourteen seconds. Things pretty much just got better from there.

Topics of discussion included the following: various "who would win in a fight" scenarios (including Superman against the Fantastic Four (Superman, hands down), Superman against the entire staff of Hogwarts (Superman has no resistance to magic, so I think that the Hogwarts professors win here, although I think it would be close, but less so if Dumbledore is involved), Dumbledore against Gandalf (Gandalf would clearly win: he's a fucking Maia!), and Gandalf against the entire Hogwarts staff (I still think Gandalf, especially Gandalf the White, would win. He's a fucking demigod, for fuck's sake!)); some of our favorite stories from law school (like that time Weston took a phone call in the middle of class, walked out of the classroom with her wireless microphone still on, had a full conversation, came back in, and explained that she had to take the call because it was about her dog, or the time I threatened to kill someone Chronicles of Riddick-style); some woman on Rikki Lake who wanted to set the world record for having sex with the most men in one hour by fucking approximately 300 guys in sixty minutes; various MMORPGs; and other things too numerous and disgusting to bring up here.

In any event, it was a really good night, I thought.

Oh, and another thing. We had a brief conversation about whether SNL's long-running Lieutenant Black Guy, Tracy Morgan, had ever done anything funny. I think he did, in the form of Astronaut Jones. You be the judge:

Anyways, I think everyone had a good night. I know I did.



5 Comments


Dee said:

wow, sixteen margaritas and not even a buzz? either someone behind the bar didn't know what they were doing, or you, my friend, have a cinder block where the rest of us have a liver.

tracy morgan has had some awesome moments. since NBC is fucking evil, i couldn't find any youtube clips--but the brian fellowes sketches always cracked me up. "that bird is a liar!"

August 11, 2007 8:46 AM



Vice said:

Don't forget about Pope Ozao.

August 11, 2007 9:48 AM



Elise said:

eh...kinda funny, but not laugh-out-loud hilarious.

where did you get mexican food how much did you eat (in lbs please)?

August 11, 2007 1:29 PM



The Expat said:

Favorite Tracy Morgan Skit
(As Brian Fellowes)

BF: "He's CRAzy!"

Tim Meadows: "Whose crazy?"

BF: "The newspaper rabbit!"

TM: *thinks a while* "Yeah, he is pretty crazy..."

August 12, 2007 8:04 PM



Ismael Tapia II said:

Now, I realize I might be alone here, but I really didn't care for the Brian Fellowes sketches. In fact, I hated them. I always thought they were just too fucking strange to be funny. I'll admit, however, that the sketch you refer to, Expat, was pretty funny. But I maintain that that's mostly due to the involvement of longstanding Captain Black Guy, Tim Meadows, who was the shit.

August 12, 2007 11:31 PM



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