What do you think this is a picture of:

According to the accompanying article, it's a picture a hunter's automatic forest camera took. The hunter, one Rick Jacobs, having never seen anything like the pictured object, immediately reported the pictures to--who else--the Bigfoot Research Organization. And the BRO, in an entirely unexpected move, concluded that the picture is, indeed, of a bigfoot or, more accurately, "a juvenile Sasquatch." The Pennsylvania Game Commission, however, believes that the picture is of nothing more than "a bear with a severe case of mange."

Let's carefully parse each part of what's going on here. First, some asshole hunter decided that he was going to set up a camera in the forest. "Why the fuck would he do that?" I asked myself. Well, so that he could take pictures of deer, says the article. Yeah, that's credible. Second, after finding these strange pictures, the guy goes to a fucking organization that I bet has about as much scientific credibility as the Flat Earth Society. So far so good. Third, the fucking wacked out organization identifies the pictures as that of a Bigfoot. We're almost in the clear here. Finally, some asshat at the Game Commission publicly claims that it's a bear with mange. Mange? It's a skin infection that caused this bear to have elongated hind legs and walk upright? That's some pretty weak sauce. Why isn't anyone calling it what it really is--A GUY IN A FUCKING MONKEY SUIT!

This whole thing is clearly a conspiracy by the reptilians, George H.W. Bush, Bono, some antisemitic Jewish werewolves, and that fucking beef jerkey company to rid the Wisconsin Law Review of it's beloved Pepsi machine.. Connect the dots, man.

Posted by Ismael Tapia II at 5:19 AM | Permalink | Comments (6)| Filed under Funny Shit , Rants on the News , Wisconsin Law Review

I think this was another decent episode. It was more good than bad, but not anything too special. We finally got a good amount of Hiro, a decent amount of Claire, and even a little Peter. Though I didn't mind the absence of Nathan and Parkman during the episode, in retrospect, I sort of wish they had been there. And, of course, I wish we had gotten significantly less of the Mexicans. They just make me so fucking angry. But the two things that really stuck out for me were Mr. Bennet's story and the fact that the big overarching storyline this season seems very familiar.

Hiro
It was good to see Hiro moving along. It was also good to see the girl finally realize who was really behind the mask. But the whole thing also failed to excite me too much. Aside from the fact that the whole thing was both extremely rushed and predictable as hell, it didn't seem believable. I mean, hadn't the girl developed feelings for the unmasked Kensei independent of those that she had for masked Kensei? It seemed to me like a significant amount of time had passed between the time masked Hiro saved the girl and the time that she realized that it was Hiro behind the mask. And, in that time, she had apparently grown to love Kensei. Therefore, I thought it was really unbelievable that she was then willing to forget about Kensei so quickly--it didn't seem to me that her feelings for Kensei were entirely attributable to her initial encounter with Hiro. I don't know, I liked the idea--Hiro goes back in time and steals the princess from his biggest hero--but the execution was lacking.

Claire
Ok, I'm back to not liking West. See, I want Claire to have someone she can be herself around, but West is just a bad influence. Claire's biggest attribute is that she's kind and caring. Remember when she saved that guy from the burning train station even though she was afraid that she'd get caught and experimented on? We've seen Claire be vengeful and mean--she nearly killed that guy in the car crash--but he had tried to rape her. The head cheerleader's worst sin was being an unpleasant person. Sure, I'd seek revenge on her, but then I thought Claire was a better person than me. So I don't like West's stupid influence on Claire--having powers and being hot don't make you better than anyone else, even if you are Hayden Panattiererere or whatever.

Still, I could buy them doing something to get even with the head cheerleader because, well, she had something coming. I could be convinced to like that idea. But here, again, the execution leaves a lot to be desired. I mean, seriously--it was really fucking lame.

Peter
I guess, of course, the real question is who Adam is. That was the most interesting part of the episode to me. It's finally a cool little mystery that's not--at least not yet--a direct outgrowth of the established characters. I like that it's come out of nowhere and seems to be a whole new part of the Heroes universe. I also like the clues we got from Mohinder's conversations with Bob--apparently the Company thinks that Adam is dangerous, so he's either a really good guy or really, really, really dangerous.

The Mexicans
I'm not even going to waste time enumerating how much I hate these characters and every second they're on screen. I will say that I'm having trouble deciding whether I hate Maya or Alejandro more: Maya's wide-eyed, trusting, optimistic nature is frankly nauseating, but Alejandro's just such a whiny bitch. It's a tough call, but I'm going to say I hate Maya more. I can't stand her, in fact.

Mr. Bennet
Come on! Come the fuck on! Wasn't the whole point of "Company Man," the best episode of Heroes to date, to redeem Mr. Bennet and to show us that, though he had once been comfortable with morally grey, he now saw what horrible effects his questionable ethics had on his family? Wasn't it all about his reconsideration of the decisions he had made and the effects of those decisions? Yeah, I guess it was also about how he would do anything for his family, but in the end he sacrificed himself, not others. So now he's in the fucking Ukraine killing a former colleague in cold blood? Come on!

Still, I thought that Ivan's comment about the liquid man or whatever was awesome--I can't wait to find out more about that. And I loved hearing about Claude--I still hope he comes back some how.

And finally, doesn't the whole plot with the heroes having to work together to prevent a foretold cataclysmic disaster that could leave New York in some state of all-fucked-up sound really fucking familiar? Seriously--the writers have borrowed heavily from other super-powered-human works, but now they're just stealing from themselves, and it's fucking lame. There'd better be some huge differences between this season's overarching plot and last season's.

Posted by Ismael Tapia II at 1:33 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)| Filed under Heroes , Television Reviews

Another Halloween weekend has come and gone, and Madison still stands. That's not really a surprise, anymore, though. And that's not a bad thing. As it turns out, only about 40,000 showed up this year, which is a pretty large number, but not big at all when compared to the numbers from a few years ago. Still, as far as I've read, there weren't any riots and no tear gas. Not even any broken shop windows, it seems. You can read about the whole thing here.

My friends and I started out the day by watching the Badgers trounce Indiana. Or, well, we watched the first half, then got kind of bored, then left the Great Dane (fuck you, Big Ten Network--not that I mind the Great Dane. Or their New London Bridge Fish Fry.)

Anyway, I headed down to Mr. Vice and pH's place and waited for Mr. Utah to show up. Eventually, he did, and we all hung out for a while. After getting some food, we all got on our costumes and headed downtown to pregame and L-Dawg and X-tina's. Mr. Vice and pH made great pirates and Mr. Utah really nailed the spirit of his Mr. Utah costume, but mine was, by far, the best costume: I was a dude in a cape. It was glorious (thanks again, pH!). Pictures are forthcoming.

After playing the traditional round of asshole at L-Dwag and X-tina's--a game during which a black two got ripped in half then scotch-taped back together, X-tina nearly held the top spot for long enough to make a rule, I usurped her to become el Presidente, and L-Dawg nearly lost consciousness due to sheer anger--Mr. Vice, pH, Mr. Utah, and I headed down to State Street to see just how crazy things were.

As it turns out, things were not that crazy. We ran into New Guy, who was there with a cadre of asian chicks. Then we walked around. I didn't really see any costumed that grabbed my attention, and I was shocked by the disturbing lack of cleavage. Ladies, seriously, Halloween is one of the few days when you're allowed to look all slutty in public. Take advantage of it! I was disappointed by the costumes in general--there wasn't anything that really stands out in my mind. There were several sets of Dorothys and related Wizard of Oz characters. I saw several Supermans, Batmans, and Spidermans. There was even a couple dressed as Superman and Supergirl, which is kind of incestuous since Supergirl is Superman's cousin. There were some Smurfs, too. And a surprising number of Jesuses, including one without a beard holding a sign saying "Jesus Shaves." I thought that was kind of funny. By far the lamest and most common costume, though, was a banana. I saw literally at least two dozen people wearing fucking banana costumes. It all reminded me of that stupid peanut butter jelly time video. I wonder if that's what they were all doing or if there's some popular significance to bananas that I'm just not aware of.

Anyway, we ended up by night by getting some pie and eggs benedicts at the Perkins, after which we all felt really, really tired. I came home and passed out, and spent today watching TV and cleaning up the apartment a little. Ok, that last part was a lie.

It was a great time, and I can't wait for next year. Man, the dude in a cape costume was so awesome.

Posted by Ismael Tapia II at 3:33 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)| Filed under 150 Things to Love About Madison , Existential Nonsense , Fun Shit I've Done , Hanging Out With My Friends

The combination of being unemployed, bored, and sick means that I've had pretty much nothing to blog about. So I decided to come up with a little trivia challenge. The first one to get a perfect score without the help of the internet or anything like that gets a prize. I guess we'll use the honor system. Also, feel free to try to stump me in the comments.

Music

1. Back in the glorious days of Napster, a very popular bluegrass version of "Gin & Juice" was going around. It was commonly--and erroneously--attributed to the band Phish. What band actually sang it?


2. Ringo Starr is an absolutely terrible drummer. What is his real name?


3. On what day did Kurt Cobain kill himself? (You automatically lose credit for advancing a "Courtney did it" theory.)


4. Why is The Postal Service called that?


5. Who's better: Fat John Popper or Skinny John Popper?

Movies

1. What actress was in both Rushmore and X-Men 3: The Last Stand and what part did she play in each?


2. In Pirates of the Caribbean, why was Will Turner's dad called Bootstrap Bill?


3. In the original Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory movie, what order do the children die in and what is the cause of each child's death?


4. What movie--other than the recent Across the Universe--featured a soundtrack that consisted entirely of Beatles covers?


5. In the first two Terminator movies, on what date did Judgment Day occur?

Television

1. On South Park, why is Butters called that?


2. On The Wonder Years, do Kevin and Winnie end up together?


3. Name all of the Law & Order spinoffs.


4. On Seinfeld, what did Jerry put on Elaine's knee during George's girlfriend's recital that made her keep laughing?


5. On The West Wing, where did Sam Seaborn go for law school?

Posted by Ismael Tapia II at 12:05 AM | Permalink | Comments (11)| Filed under Existential Nonsense , Quiz Things

Tonight's episode was another one without much action, but it was still pretty decent. There wasn't anything terrible about it--other than the lack of Claire--and there were some pretty good things. In fact, to my surprise, Monica and Micah kind of grew on me. I know, I know, they're related to Niki and D.L. Still, I think they might be alright. Niki's a bad influence in pretty much every way, so I'm not surprised that she also influenced her son's suckiness or that, without her, he's not such a douche. Still, I don't outright like them, I just don't mind them.

I certainly don't mind them as much as I mind the Mexicans, which is why it's awesome that they weren't in this one.

I'm surprised by how much I like what's going on with Parkman. While I originally shared Mr. Vice's concern that the father thing might be stupid, I think it's going ok so far, although Mr. Vice was certainly correct that the daddy issues seem to have come out of nowhere. Still, I like the relationship that's building between Matt and Nathan. I also really like the potential development that's in store for Matt's power. It's also interesting to note that this is the first time we've seen a parent and child have the same power--all the other such pairs we know about have different powers. Perhaps the child inherits the parent's power if only one of the parents has abilities but, in cases with two superpowered parents, the child gets some third ability. I guess we'll have to wait and see.

Mohinder's waffling again. You'd think that, after everything he's been through with The Company, he'd know better than to trust them, regardless of how fair their guises might be. Remember Eden, Mohinder? Remember that they had Molly? Remember how they were ready to let millions of people die to serve their own purposes? Get your head out of your ass and pay attention to what Mr. Bennet's telling you. And please, for the love of God, don't walk Molly right into their clutches. Goddamnit, Mohinder. Goddamnit.

And then there's Peter. I'm happy to see that even though he's forgotten who he is, he still seems to be an all-around good guy. I have to say that I like his new girlfriend. I like her accent. And I bet she can drink like a fucking champ, which is a plus. I wonder what he's going to do now that he knows that someone wants him enough to kill. And what effect this is going to have on his fledgling relationship.

And now we know where he got his electricity powers: from the lovely Ms. Bell. Although her hair is way longer and she's playing an adult, I couldn't help but expect someone to call her "Veronica" or say "Veronica Mars" in an annoyed voice when she walked into the room. It might also be due to the fact that she was doing her best to solve the mystery of where Peter was, which was very reminiscent of her role on that other show. She did ok in her limited screen time, and her character might end up being interesting. And, of course, even though she was only on screen for about thirty seconds, she was still around long enough to set up yet another parentage revelation. Any guesses on who her daddy is?

So far, things are going ok, but it is starting to feel like an extremely small universe. That stands to reason, I suppose, but it's still vaguely shocking.

Posted by Ismael Tapia II at 1:49 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)| Filed under Existential Nonsense , Heroes , Television Reviews

I think I've mentioned before that I love reading good reviews for bad movies. A good bad-movie review can be really funny and entertaining. Like everything else, though, there are bad bad-movie reviews. And, of course, there are stupid bad-movie reviews. I found this example of a stupid bad-movie review, written by Armond White, the other day while looking on Rotten Tomatoes at the reviews of Tyler Perry's Why Did I Get Married?. Mr. White's review would border on offensive if it wasn't so stupid. So it promopted me to come up with a few general guidelines for writing a successful movie review:

1. Review the movie. For a large portion of the review, Mr. White's not so much reviewing the movie as he is talking about how awesome Mr. Perry is and how stupid white people are. He also spends a lot of time irrationally insulting other movies that most people consider to be really, really good.


2. Don't spend a lot of time irrationally insulting other movies that most people consider to be really, really good. Mr. White takes not one but two cheap--and completely nonsensical--shots at Knocked Up. First, he says that Why Did I Get Married tackles "issues of trust, infidelity, career envy and classic chauvinism" which "are basic male/female truths, unlike Knocked Up whose crass jokes are lies that the white middle-class tells itself." What the fuck does that even mean? Seriously, what meaning does that particular combination of words hold? It means nothing--it's a fucking worthless insult that Mr. White thinks is clever and insightful. Well, fuck him. He goes on:

   Nothing in Knocked Up is as meaningful as Perry's spectacle of men who must restrain their anger physically or his politically incorrect fashion show of women proudly, luxuriously wearing furs as signs of pleasure and achievement.

   I haven't seen the movie in question, so I have no idea how "meaningful" these scenes are, but I do think that it's unfair to say that absolutely nothing in Knocked Up is as meaningful as some stupid-sounding scenes from this movie. Finally, he apparently hates Judd Apatow, since he's got this to say about Superbad:

   [W]hat could be less sophisticated or more vulgar than the R&B-grooving nerds in Superbad?

   Can you really not imagine anything less sophisticated or more vulgar than the kids in that movie? How about your mom with a pink sock. Sounds pretty unsophisticated and vulgar to me. And one of the main things that makes Superbad so awesome is that it's not just another raunchy teen-sex comedy, it's got heart. There are actual characters. No, they're not as well-developed as in some other films, but their also significantly deeper than your standard action hero, for example. The movie is sophisticated. And, although it has plenty of dick jokes--and plenty of hilarious dick drawings--it doesn't have any scenes on the order of the frank-and-beans scene from There's Something About Mary. In short, there are plenty of movies that are less sophisticated and more vulgar. Asshole.


3. At least attempt to maintain credibility. Ultimately, the job of a movie critic is to give me the broad strokes about whether a movie sucks or is worth my time and money. Therefore, a huge part of being a movie critic is maintaining your credibility. I'm not going to take your word on Transformers if you gave Pearl Harbor four and a half stars out of five. That clearly makes you a tool who works for the studios. There are any number of ways to build and maintain credibility. There's also one surefire way to destroy any credibility you might have built up over the years: call R. Kelly's horrendous "Trapped in the Closet" series "a work of true genius." Yup. That's what Mr. White thinks. Here's the whole passage:

   Married? isn't an Oprah sermon; much of its humor and punch comes from Perry's expose of domestic secrets. This happens to be the basis of R. Kelly's extraordinary music-video opera, Trapped in the Closet--a work of true genius that the media has also underrated and ridiculed. The media mocks R. Kelly's vernacular (calling it "crazy" is the easiest way to avoid its daring and brilliance) just as Perry's comedy and Eddie Murphy's in Norbit are disdained as unsophisticated or vulgar.

   As if calling "a true work of genius" wasn't enough, Mr. White thinks that the words "extraordinary," "underrated," "daring," and brilliant are other words that describe "Trapped in the Closet." I don't think he's being ironic, either. Wow. Just wow.

So there you have it. Follow those rules and you should be good. Like Jesus did with the Ten Commandments, though, I think you can boil these down to their basic spirit. In general, in order to write a decent bad-movie review, you have to be not a biased asshat. Mr. White has failed, but I have faith that, with my help, others will succeed.

Posted by Ismael Tapia II at 4:17 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)| Filed under Existential Nonsense , Funny Shit , Rants About Things That Make Me Irrationally Angry , Reviews

Did you ever wonder why Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, the most powerful wizard in the world, didn't have a wife or children? I mean, there was never any hint about any sort of romantic relationship. I always thought it was because he was a man who was too devoted to his work to make time for a family, so he never allowed himself to get tangled up in the whole thing. It turns out, though, that it's because he was gay. Moreover, he was in love with the man he would later have to defeat--the dark wizard Grindelwald.

Personally, I think this adds a whole new dimension to the character, and especially what we learned about him in The Deathy Hallows. For starters, it serves to explain--but not excuse--his involvement in the plan to establish a new world order. Love is both blind and blinding. And, of course, it makes what he ultimately had to do, and the price he ultimately had to pay, that much more difficult. And therefore awesome.

I know some people out there are going to be upset about this. But fuck those people. Dumbledore is one of the best characters ever. He's right up there with Gandalf, Superman, Eric Cartman, Luke Skywalker, and Obi-Wan Kenobi. As in real life, it doesn't matter which gender you love. To echo Dumbledore himself, it's choices that define the man.

Posted by Ismael Tapia II at 2:43 AM | Permalink | Comments (5)| Filed under Existential Nonsense , Harry Potter , Rants on the News , Star Wars , Superman , The Lord of the Rings

The fact that my days currently consist of applying for jobs, watching TV, and playing video games means that I've got a whole lot of nothing to write about. There's not really that much I have to say about the news, either, so I'm not really getting any topics there. So I'll do what I generally do when I'm in this situation: I'll write a disjointed post with a few subheadings.

Colbert for President
You know, I love Stephen Colbert. But what the hell is he doing? Our electoral system and government in general are at a really discouraging point right now. And Mr. Colbert's ability to point out the absurdity of the whole thing is really just awesome. But at least part of me thinks that running for president is just taking the whole thing too far. I mean, yeah, there's a lot of absurdity going around. But joining in--while it might be funny and while it might call attention to how ridiculous everything is--mostly just cheapens the whole thing more. We've got a race where the frontrunners are someone with no more experience than being mayor of a big city, a guy who's not a former New York City District Attorney but played one on TV, a first-term senator, and the irritating wife of a former president. That's crazy enough already. Do we really need to add a guy from Comedy Central?

What Should I Be for Halloween?
All I know is that I want to have a cape with my costume. Any ideas?

I Could Really Use a Job
Seriously. Being poor sucks.

Posted by Ismael Tapia II at 2:59 AM | Permalink | Comments (8)| Filed under Existential Nonsense , Life Sucks Sometimes , Political Rants , Rants on the News

We're only four episodes into the season, so we have to expect some episodes where there's not a lot of action. Things have to get set up for later in the season. That work has to be done, and it's always a challenge to keep things interesting even though you're mainly just setting the board up for the rest of the game. That said, I think this episode did an adequate job. It had some pretty decent revelations and some nice character development. Here's what I thought, organized in the most logical way I can think of:

Claire
I have to admit that West is growing on me. I mean, the guy flies! But, more importantly, he also seems like a decent guy. Yeah, the whole hovering outside Claire's window thing was kind of creepy, but people have done creepier things. Anyway, he seems ok, which I know is just setting myself up for when we find out that he's actually working for the Company or something. I liked the scenes between him and Claire. Honestly, a little romance isn't a bad thing. I wonder if the windchime thing meant that West saw who Claire's dad is.

As far as Claire, though, I wish that she and her father would have learned from last season. First off, didn't Mr. Bennet prove beyond all doubt that he'd do anything for his daughter and that she can trust him? Second, didn't he learn not to lie to his family and keep everything from them? Good crap, the Haitian's even back! These people have very short memories, apparently.

Parkman and his dad
Huh. So the guy that's worse than Sylar isn't the Haitian. Interesting. Moving on.

Nathan
Thank God he shaved. That whole hobo thing wasn't working for him. Anyway, it's nice to see that he's not a complete jerk anymore. And I like him working with Parkman. They have a lot of things in common--especially now that they're both apparently children of founding members of the Company. I wonder if there are any other familial revelations in the works.

Micah and his cousins
Ugh. I really, really, really don't care. As far as I can tell, his cousin's power is that she learns or understands quickly. Isn't that Sylar's power? I didn't mind the whole repeat powers thing at first, but if this girl does have Sylar's power--or some variation thereof--I'll be kind of pissed. I mean, they didn't seem to be out of cool power ideas last season, so I don't know why they seem to have run out. It doesn't matter, though, because I just don't care. I hope they all get wiped off the face of the Earth.

Sylar and the Mexicans
I know that Maya and Alejandro aren't Mexican, but whatever. Anyway, this part was interesting, but only because Sylar was in it. Of course, I want to know what happened to him and his powers, and why he can't get any new ones. But I just really hate Maya and Alex. They're just so fucking annoying. And if they're twins who are apparently incredibly fucking close, how is it possible that Maya knows English but Alex doesn't?

Anyway, as a setup episode, this was ok. It was definitely interesting, and I love the backstory revelations. All in all, I'm happy with the season and happy with how things are developing so far.

One thing I'm not happy about is the lack of both Peter and Hiro in this episode. I know that sometimes characters have to take a week off. That's cool. But, goddamnit, it's just not fair to deprive me of both Hiro and Peter in the same week. I hope that doesn't happen again.

Posted by Ismael Tapia II at 1:52 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)| Filed under Existential Nonsense , Heroes , Television Reviews

Santi's comment on my last post got me thinking about all the ridiculous things that happened to me when I was a kid. For the most part, they were all positive--or at least resulted in positive stuff. But then I remembered something that, in retrospect, made no sense.

When I was in elementary school--maybe third grade, although I can't remember really--I used to watch Gilligan's Island a lot. In fact, because some episodes of the show were broadcast in black and white and others in color, I had this vague idea that there was some period in history when the universe was actually black and white and then, one day, it switched over to color.

Anyway, I memorized the theme song to Gilligan's Island and I was singing it in class one day. I can't remember for sure, but I don't think that I was singing it while the teacher was talking or anything. In other words, I don't think I was doing anything inappropriate by singing it. I can't remember the details, but I know that my teacher took an interest in the song. In fact, she had me stand in front of the class, teach them the lyrics, and then sing it to them. At the time, I just loved the attention, but when I was thinking about it today, I have no idea what my teacher was trying to accomplish.

Was she trying to embarass me? To teach me some lesson about craving attention? Or did she just think it was cool? It made no sense then, and it makes none.

Posted by Ismael Tapia II at 1:54 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)| Filed under Existential Nonsense , Things I'm Irrationally Attached To

I was just watching the episode of Scrubs where Laverne dies. It got me started thinking about what I'd like to have done to my remains if I ever die. Some of you have already heard this idea, but i just want to get it down in writing so that you guys will actually do it.

First, I want to be dressed in my top hat, a tuxedo, and that kick-ass pocket watch that co-SME gave me. Second, I want to be encased in a big, transparent lucite cube. Third, I want the words "Ismael Tapia II, Lord of the Earth" engraved in the lucite in all known languages. Fourth, I want the lucite cube to be taken out on a ship, attached to a bunch of weights, and thrown overboard over the Mariana Trench.

The idea, you see, is that sometime in the future--hopefully millenia from now, when all traces of this civilization have been wiped out--someone will discover the cube, decipher the inscriptions, and conclude that I was, indeed, the Lord of the Earth.

That would be awesome.

Posted by Ismael Tapia II at 3:07 AM | Permalink | Comments (6)| Filed under Existential Nonsense , Funny Shit

Lots of people have already discussed the fact that you can download Radiohead's new album, In Rainbows, and pay as much--or as little--as you want. I think it's great that Radiohead is doing this, but mostly because it means that I get their new album for free and don't have to feel guilty about it. I don't think that it'll have any effect on the music industry at large, though.

What's more important, though, is the music. So, here are my thoughts on my first listen.

1. 15 Step. I think this is a really strange opener. It just sounds to me like it belongs deeper in the album, although it does serve to catch my attention. Still, it's really sparse at first, and it's not particularly compelling--there's just too much electronic nonsense for my taste, although I definitely enjoy it overall and could see myself enjoying it in a Beta Band sort of way. Not bad by any means, but not great. Three out of five stars.
2. Bodysnatchers. I think this would have been a better opener. I definitely like it more, it's more upbeat, more energetic, and more frentic. I think this is a really good example of an upbeat good Radiohead song: it's a good song with a great groove and energy where the electronic or experimental aspects compliment an already good composition, rather than detracting from it. Even though this song coming from any other band would be really exciting and new, though, it's not a very huge advance for Radiohead--I've heard them do very similar stuff before. Still, if it sounds good, why change? Four stars.
3. Nude. Eh. I don't mind this song at all, and the guitars are really interesting, as is most of the instrumentation. There's just nothing about the song that grabs me. I just don't see myself seeking this one out. Three stars.
4. Weird Fishes/Arpeggi. My first impression is that I think I'm still listening to "Nude." Also, the drums are really repetative--I wonder if they're real drums or drum-machine drums. Although the song goes through several different dynamic changes, it still leaves me cold and ends up being mostly ambient. That's not bad, but it's not my style. Three stars.
5. All I Need. So far, I'm getting the sense that there's one glaring weakness to this album: all of the songs set up a certain groove with certain parts and then they stick with that groove for almost the whole song. So, although they get louder and quieter, the songs end up sounding really repetative, which is strange for Radiohead, who usually write songs that, to paraphrase Mr. X., "change, then change some more, then change again." This song is definitely subject to that criticism--it repeats that same bass motif throughout--but I like this one. It's probably my favorite on the album so far. Four stars.
6. Faust Arp. Seriously, I love the guitars on this album. They sound so deep and lust, almost as if there are thousand guitars going at the same time. I'm sure you'd hear even more depth if you listened to this on headphones. But none of that changes the fact that, so far, I'm not impressed with the songwriting. This song just leaves me cold. The strings are alright, but they sound more like a vague attempt to make the song less repetative to me. Three stars.
7. Reckoner. I'm bored. Two stars.
8. House of Cards. I'm bored again. And Thom's wailing is freaking me out. Two stars.
9. Jigsaw Falling Into Place. Here we go. Although this song has the same problems I think the whole album's got, at least it's got fucking energy. I might actually look forward to listening to this one. Four stars.
10. Videotape. This is alright as a closer, I guess. But it's still just the same little piano part over and over. Three stars.

So there it is. I'm pretty fucking disappointed, I have to say. I didn't find anything remarkable about the album at all. I'll listen to it a few more times because it's new, but I'm not particularly excited to listen to it right now. Who knows--my opinion might change. I certainly changed my mind about Neon Bible. Zeitgeist still sucks, though.

On a side note . . .
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Posted by Ismael Tapia II at 2:48 PM | Permalink | Comments (8)| Filed under Existential Nonsense , General Remarks , Music Reviews , The Smashing Pumpkins , Things I'm Irrationally Attached To

Due to a DVR mishap, I wasn't able to watch last week's episode of Heroes until tonight. And, of course, there was a new episode on tonight. So I'm going to discuss them together. I'm going to do this by character this time.

Hiro
God, I love Hiro. And I really want him to hook up with the swordsmith's daughter. Too bad he's got that whole "maintain the integrity of the timeline" thing going. Still, I think it's almost certainly going to happen. There's no way Hiro pretending to be Kensei was a one-time thing. And there's no way that the girl's stupid enough not to realize what's going on eventually. Also, I think that Hiro's character's coming along nicely. He's much more confident this time around, and he no longer has Ando to lean on--he's got to stand up for himself, and he doesn't seem to be having much trouble doing that, so that's awesome. And it was also awesome the way he kicked those guys' asses. He's becoming more and more like Future Hiro every day.

What I didn't see coming was Kensei's ability. I was sure that when he got shot, he'd be dead, and Hiro would realize that it was his destiny to become his own childhood hero. But, no, in stead Kensei's can heal himself like Claire. That was interesting, and I think it'll be cool to see where that goes. Some people might be bothered that we've now got sets of characters with duplicative abilities, but I don't mind--more than one person has blue eyes, so it stands to reason that more than one person would have any given ability.

What I did find rather strange was that Kensei, after being teleported into a situation where he had to kill ninety people for no apparent reason, decided "fuck being rich and famous--I'm going to be a stand-up human being." I hope they do more with that.

Mohinder
I refuse to believe that the Company's as clueless as Mr. Bennet and Mohinder seem to think they are. There's just no way. They know something's going on. I bet Mohinder won't make it through the season.

I did, however, find the return of the Haitian very interesting. I can't wait to see what happens with that. And is it just me or was there some jealousy on Matt's part when Molly was so excited to see Mohinder come back?

Claire
I love that Claire's only desire is to be herself, even if she's not normal, when only a year ago all she wanted was to be normal. It shows how far she's come. I also love that she's taking such complete ownership of her abilities. She's one of the few people--together with maybe Peter, Hiro, and Sylar--that is completely embracing her abilities. That scene with her toe was awesome, and I'm excited to see just how far her abilities can go.

I'm really conflicted about the whole thing with West. On the one hand, he's a fucking creepy fuck. On the other hand, he can fly, just like Superman. Still, his personality is fucking flat. I don't know what the writers are doing, but there's nothing distinctive about him at all. He's clearly being written as someone that's supposed to be Claire's love interest and someone with powers rather than as someone with a personality that just happens to have abilities. His existence seems forced, to say nothing of his often stilted and barely tolerable dialogue. Still, I loved the scene with him flying Claire away but, again, mostly because of the Superman connotations. At least the writers are demonstrating that they read DC comics as well as Marvel.

Mr. Bennet
He gets his own section just because, holy fuck, he's going to die. And Claire's going to make out with West over his corpse. Fucked up. We've seen that Isaac's paintings don't necessarily come true, but I guess now we've got an idea of what our characters are going to have to avoid this season. I also think that the tension between Claire and Mr. Bennet is awesome--I hate to see their relationship shaken up, but that's exactly what needs to happen. Claire needs to understand what her father used to do and then decide whether to forgive him. And Mr. Bennet needs to decide whether all that stuff he's been saying about trust is true.

Niki and Micah
I guess it was asking for too much that these characters never come back. But at least D.L.'s dead. Now if only someone would put a bullet through Niki's head. Seriously, we haven't seen her since last season, and the first thing we see her doing is making more terrible fucking decisions like dumping her son off with some stranger who bears a striking resemblence to Lieutenant Uhura? What a horrible mother and what a horrible character! If I hear her say "I have to do this" one more fucking time . . . . Seriously, I hope she dies. Hopefully, she's looking for a cure for the virus and doesn't get it. That would be awesome.

Peter
Goddamnit. I saw that coming a mile away. It's not so much that I mind that Peter the amnesiac is confused and unsure what he should do. I just mind that Peter was 100 percent good and true and now he's almost killing someone. Peter and Hiro were the heart of the series and, though I understand that things have to get stirred up, I just miss Peter, that's all.

Sylar
Now this is kind of interestng. Why doesn't eating brains give him the person's abilities? And what happened to all the ones he had before? And why the hell was Candace helping him? And who didn't see her death coming a mile away?

Alejandro and Maya
These might be the new most annoying characters. Seriously, what the fuck? What's her power, exactly? To temporarily kill people by crying black oil? And what's his? It's too close to the Wonder Twins, only their power seems even more worthless than turning into anything made of water and any animal. So far, I'm not impressed at all. And, also, not all Latin Americans are superstitious, stupid fucks.

On a side note, the guy that Alejandro and Maya broke out of jail with had a Conquistadores sticker on his car. Unless I'm mistaken, that's the mascot at Claire's new school. So, I bet they'll all be meeting each other pretty soon.

Kaito and Angela
This is probably one of the more interesting storylines going on right now. I really want to see what happens with this, and what exactly Matt and Nathan are up against. Mostly, I'm just hoping to get more backstory about the Company.

All in all, these two episodes were pretty good, but they still haven't approached the levels of awesomeness reached by, for example, Company Man.

Posted by Ismael Tapia II at 12:49 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)| Filed under Heroes , Television Reviews

Ph, Mr. Vice, and I went to the High Noon Saloon tonight to see Electric Six, the Gore Gore Girls, and We Are the Fury. I had never heard any of these bands tonight, but I was blown away by how awesome the show was. In fact, I'd have to say that this was the best show I've seen in a while. In terms of musicianship and performance quality, it probably wasn't as good as Built to Spill. But, in terms of sheer fun, this was definitely the best show I've seen at least since college. And in terms of mosh pitting, this is the hardest-core show I've seen since the White Stripes, where I thought I was going to die.

We Are the Fury

This band started out really strong. They have this indie-but-still-heavy sound. They sound sort of like a mix between Jet, the Hives, and Led Zeppelin, if that makes any sense. There's a very remote country influence, but the band is very much in the vein of the sort of garage-band-sounding bands that were big a few years ago, but with more of an edge.

The lead singer was extremely effeminiate--like Mick Jagger, but less manly. He was very skinny and he did a lot of strutting and he put his hand on his hip way too many times. He also wore a woman's double-breasted jacket. It was strange. Still, he knew how to get the audience fired up, and his vocals were pretty strong.

Ultimately, the band started much stronger than they finished, but they alone were probably worth the price of admission.

The Gore Gore Girls

These guys are an all-girl heavy-metal rockabily band from Detroit. They all used hollow-body Gretsch guitars, and they sound pretty much how you'd expect. They sounded pretty retro, and their lyrics completely reflected that--they even sang a song called "Sweet Potato." It was very strange, and I wasn't a huge fan. Retro bands piss me off. Also, with their matching super-short latex outfits, matching guitars, retro girl-group lyrics, and general "girl-power" attitude, they came off as sort of gimmicky in my opinion.

Still, they played their instruments very well and even--gasp--took guitar solos! I completely give them props for that. Also, all of them except the drummer were pretty cute, especially the nonsinging guitarist, The Hammer. Not only did she look awesome, but she knew what she was doing with six string--she played a good number of not-entirely-unimpressive solos. And she completely won my heart when she whipped out a harmonica on one of the songs.

Overall, these guys weren't my favorites, but they were decent. And they also gave me the chance to say, in coversation with some undergrad girls at the show, "Yeah, I'm down with feminism and vaginas and stuff." They laughed, it was awesome.

Electric Six

I knew nothing about this band going into the show. But, goddamn, they're awesome. I read some reviews and stuff, and was surprised to see that the band is described as a mix of punk and disco. That's a very apt description, I think, and the end result is much more awesome than you'd expect. The songs were tight, catchy, energetic, and--according to pH and Mr. vice, who have actually heard the lyrics--funny. The front man was the perfect blend of cocky and dorky; he was an excellent showman and he really knew how to get people involved. Although his stage banter was occasionally too political, it was generally good natured.

From the minute the band came on stage, I was totally into them. They were self-confident without being arrogant and well rehearsed without sounding mechanical. In short, they were an amazing live band. I think the fact that I was so into them even though I had never heard them before speaks volumes. I'd go see them again in a heartbeat and I'd strongly recommend that you check them out if they're going to be anywhere near you anytime soon. You can see their tour schedule at their webpage, which I linked to above.

All in all, it was a great evening, even though I can barely hear right now. Really, there was no better way to end the night than getting shot down by some undergrad, which is exactly what I did. So, basically, I had a perfect night.

Posted by Ismael Tapia II at 1:47 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)| Filed under Existential Nonsense , Fun Shit I've Done , General Awesomeness , Horribly Inappropriate Things I've Said , Music Reviews

The fucking Badgers lost to the Fighting Illini. What a load of bullshit. I can't say it was unexpected, though, and, after the first quarter, I'm surprised the score was as close as it was. I mean, seriously.

People often cite the Ronnettes' "Be My Baby" as the most perfect example of Phil Spector's wall of sound technique. Well, today's football game was definitely the best example of Brett Bielema's patent-pending Care Bear defense. Unfortunately, while the unprecedented depth that the wall of sound brought to mono recordings was a very good thing, the Care Bears defense's main feature--allowing the Badgers to "defend" their endzone mostly through the use of ineffective tackles and old "you mama" jokes--is less than good.

I think RPM summed it up: "Wow. The Bager tackling is gentle."

Posted by Ismael Tapia II at 7:13 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)| Filed under Existential Nonsense , Rants About Things That Make Me Irrationally Angry , Things I'm Irrationally Attached To

Before you read any further, you should know that I don't know shit about baseball. And I want to keep it that way. The sport fucking sucks.

I was talking with Co-SME today about the Milwaukee Brewers and the Chicago Cubs. He explained that he hated Cubs cans because they were all arrogant assholes who thought that the Cubs were the best team ever, regardless of how awesome or not awesome the team actually is during any given season. Then he went on to tell me that the Brewers are "awesome." He then conceded that the Cubs played better than the Brewers this season, that they've been consistently better for at least fifteen years, and that the Brewers have pretty much sucked the fat cock for a long, long time. Still, he insisted that the Brewers are "awesome." I pointed out that he had just displayed the exact trait that made him hate Cubs fans--he thought his favorite team was great regardless of reality.

Then another question popped into my head: why root for the Brewers at all? "They're the hometown team," he said. I couldn't argue with that--I root for the Badgers for no reason other than that I went to the University of Wisconsin. I hate Michigan for no other reason than our longstanding feud.

So what's the deal--why do all sports fans think that their team is the best, even when they're clearly not?

Religion is one of those things where you just sort of have to respect someone else's opinion (within reasonable limits, of course). You can't really argue with someone about why they believe that Jesus died for their sins or that the Prophet ascended to heaven. Is being a sports fan the same way?

These are the things I'm thinking about now that I actually care about a team. It's realy strange.

Posted by Ismael Tapia II at 1:27 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)| Filed under Existential Nonsense , Philosophical Rants

The Illinois bar exam results came out a few days ago in the form of a long list of numbers on the Illinois Board of Bar Examiners web page. The idea is that your exam number was on the list if you passed, so you could just check your number against the list and see if you passed. It's a safe, anonymous system. But it has one catch: you have to know your exam number. That wouldn't be much of a problem except that you're only give your number once--on a pink piece of paper you get before the exam. After that, not even the bar exam people have a record of which number corresponds to which person. So, if you're someone like me--someone disinclined to hold on to little pieces of paper with vital information on them for long periods of time--then the system sucks

So, I've been kind of on edge for a few days because I knew that my results were on their way in the mail, but I had no way to speed the whole thing up.

Well, they got here today.

This fucking sucks. Dealing with the character and fitness crap in one state was bad enough--I'm not looking forward to doing it in another state. But, you know, such is life.

Posted by Ismael Tapia II at 12:21 PM | Permalink | Comments (10)| Filed under Existential Nonsense , General Awesomeness , Law School

I got a call from the Madison Police Department early this morning. Turns out, they found my fucking car! So, I went downtown and got it. It was about four blocks from where the tow company said they parked it. There wasn't any major damage--just a broken passenger's side front window, clearly where they broke in. Also--and this is strange--nothing was missing. Except my golf clubs, which the insurance has already said they'll cover. And they'll cover the broken glass, too.

The only really bad thing about the whole thing, then, is that my car apparently sat outside with the windows down for, like, two days. While it was raining. Still, I think it'll pull through.

This whole thing got me thinking, though: what the fuck kind of a person steals a car? And if you're going to steal a car, why steal my car which, although loved by me and many others, isn't the nicest, newest, cleanest car around? And if you're going to steal my car, why not steal everything of value in there? They didn't even go on a joyride--I know that my car had at least 107,000 miles on it when it was taken. When I got the car back today, it only had about 107,200, and the gas meter was almost exactly where it had been when I last saw it--right below "E." So that means that they didn't even joyride in the thing. They broke the glass, drove it four blocks, stole my clubs, and left. And my clubs weren't even that nice--they cost about $150!

Criminals are stupid.

Posted by Ismael Tapia II at 2:45 PM | Permalink | Comments (13)| Filed under Existential Nonsense , General Awesomeness