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I Hate the Care Bears

October 6, 2007 7:13 PM

he fucking Badgers lost to the Fighting Illini. What a load of bullshit. I can't say it was unexpected, though, and, after the first quarter, I'm surprised the score was as close as it was. I mean, seriously.

People often cite the Ronnettes' "Be My Baby" as the most perfect example of Phil Spector's wall of sound technique. Well, today's football game was definitely the best example of Brett Bielema's patent-pending Care Bear defense. Unfortunately, while the unprecedented depth that the wall of sound brought to mono recordings was a very good thing, the Care Bears defense's main feature--allowing the Badgers to "defend" their endzone mostly through the use of ineffective tackles and old "you mama" jokes--is less than good.

I think RPM summed it up: "Wow. The Bager tackling is gentle."



1 Comments


Utah said:

You know, from my couch, I could have coached the Badgers better than they played all season. Fucking morons...there's a pattern: spin move, spin move, unnecessary stiffarm, dive into endzone. And always be ready to audible into hail mary from any formation.

Brilliant Madden strategy aside, the defense was less effective than the Maginot line. The offensive strategy of running repeatedly without production and throwing into triple coverage wasn't so hot either. Still, nothing pisses me off like listening to some jackass fans chanting "overrated" against my team. Now that it's gone, I wish I would have spent more time with my win streak.

In rage/consolation, I discovered that Wal-Mart has something called the "Vin Diesel Library." It was located near the "Harrison Ford Library" and "Keanu Reeves Library." What this means is, I got three Vin Diesel movies for ten dollars. It was kind of like God himself came down from heaven and made some kind of cosmic compromise to prevent a massive slaughter of Chief Illinowek and the rest of the Illini nation.

October 6, 2007 11:34 PM



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