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The seXterra Abides

October 2, 2007 2:45 PM

got a call from the Madison Police Department early this morning. Turns out, they found my fucking car! So, I went downtown and got it. It was about four blocks from where the tow company said they parked it. There wasn't any major damage--just a broken passenger's side front window, clearly where they broke in. Also--and this is strange--nothing was missing. Except my golf clubs, which the insurance has already said they'll cover. And they'll cover the broken glass, too.

The only really bad thing about the whole thing, then, is that my car apparently sat outside with the windows down for, like, two days. While it was raining. Still, I think it'll pull through.

This whole thing got me thinking, though: what the fuck kind of a person steals a car? And if you're going to steal a car, why steal my car which, although loved by me and many others, isn't the nicest, newest, cleanest car around? And if you're going to steal my car, why not steal everything of value in there? They didn't even go on a joyride--I know that my car had at least 107,000 miles on it when it was taken. When I got the car back today, it only had about 107,200, and the gas meter was almost exactly where it had been when I last saw it--right below "E." So that means that they didn't even joyride in the thing. They broke the glass, drove it four blocks, stole my clubs, and left. And my clubs weren't even that nice--they cost about $150!

Criminals are stupid.



13 Comments


jbob said:

You may find the most bothersome thing will be the broken glass clinking around in your door every time you close it from now on.

October 2, 2007 3:31 PM



tRJ said:

Yeah, I still find glass in weird places in my car, and that was almost a year ago. Congrats, all the same. I know that's a relief.

October 2, 2007 4:48 PM



lily said:

Welcome back, car! That's weird, though. Maybe it was like "gee, I feel kinda bad about being a criminal . . . maybe I'll just half-ass it."

October 2, 2007 7:23 PM



sadielady said:

Dude, at least your rug wasn't stolen.

October 2, 2007 7:48 PM



ShakenNeighbor said:

What don't you understand? Risk: potentially years in prison; Reward: Shitty golf clubs. Seems like a win win to me.

October 2, 2007 7:49 PM



morenonsense said:

Maybe they didn't drive it farther while stolen is because you didn't have any gas in it to begin with. Good thinking for the future.

October 2, 2007 7:57 PM



New Guy said:

Most importantly, were you able to recover your copy of Moonlight Melancholy and Infinite Sadness?

October 2, 2007 8:49 PM



Vice said:

Are we still going to get the posse together for a law suit? Or are you going to not hold a grudge? Hah - scratch that. WHEN are we going to get a posse together?

October 2, 2007 9:21 PM



Anonymous said:

My car was broken into so someone could pop the hood and steal my sparkplugs--that had about 35,000 miles on them. And NOT steal the two leather jackets in the backseat (going to consignment that week) or an of the CDs floating around. Oh, and to get into the car to pop the hood, they did $650 worth of body damage trying to pry the handle off one of the back doors.

Thieves may be stupid, but it still hurts, and not just in the wallet.

October 2, 2007 10:38 PM



Dee said:

running on fumes--an awesome theft deterrent if ever i heard one. glad you got it back, and here hoping no vagrants used it as a toilet and moved on.

October 3, 2007 7:49 AM



afs said:

that's a pretty crazy story, dude. and I thought it was frustrating that my car battery died. good thing you found it the car, though!

people who steal cars: high school kids.

October 3, 2007 9:35 AM



Ismael Tapia II said:

Sadielady,
Yeah--that rug really ties the room together.

New Guy,
It's Melon Collie and the Infinite Sadness, and yes, it was still in the car.

Mr. Vice,
I certainly hope you don't mean to imply that I hold grudges . . . .

Anonymous,
Your spark plugs? Really? That's fucked up!

Dee and Morenononsense,
I should write a book about how to always have just enough gas in your car to get to the nearest gas station.

afs,
Ah, yes, high school kids. That goes right along with my theory that the thieves were idiots.

October 3, 2007 10:37 AM



frank x. said:

You getting your car back makes me miss the deathtrap. It had many more years left in it, and now its gone...

October 4, 2007 9:38 AM



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