Due to a combination of insomnia, unemployment, and just generally being a night person, I've been going to bed at around 7am every day this week. I had also been getting roughly five hours of sleep a night because I feel extremely worthless if I wake up at 3, especially considering that it literally starts getting dark at around 3:30 now. Fuck Daylight Savings Time.

Anyway, pH, Mr. Vice, and I went out to watch the the Packers game. Because of some ridiculous bullshit (discussed here), the game wasn't on Charter cable, which is bullshit. So we had to go somewhere to watch it. After trying literally five or six different sports bars and restaurants, I suggested we try a bowling alley, which actually had room for us to stand and great bowling alley food to eat. So we stood and watched the Packers lose their biggest game in years. It was sad. I don't really care about pro football, and I haven't invested anything in the Packers this season, but I was still hoping that the millions of unbelievably devoted Packers fans would get to be happy about the game.

In any event, I came home and i was really fucking tired. So tired, in fact, that I went to bed at around 11:30pm, which is unheard of.

But now it's 6:39 and I'm up again. Why? Because I couldn't sleep. Lily woke me up by digging her claws into my feet a while ago, and I haven't been able to get back to sleep. So now I'm just up. It seems, then, that no matter what time I go to bed, I'll always be awake at 7am. Sweet.

In other news, I just found this quiz, which I found at Silly Little Law Student. Here are my results:

take the WHAT INTENTIONAL TORT ARE YOU test.


and go to mewing.net. because law school made laura do this.

Also, I just upgraded the song "Else" by Built to Spill from four to five stars. It's an awesome song.

Posted by Ismael Tapia II at 6:28 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)| Filed under Existential Nonsense , Hanging Out With My Friends , Life Sucks Sometimes , Quiz Things

A Massachusetts state legislator has introduced a bill that would make it illegal for parents to spank or otherwise physically discipline their children. This, frankly, is astounding--I can't believe that someone would actually think that it is an appropriate use of the State's power to tell parents how to raise their children.

I can think of few things that are more personal and private than the decisions a parent makes about how to raise children. I can't imagine that any parent would claim that anyone other than their children are more important or that any relationship is more important. If we parents can't impart their beliefs, experiences, and values on their children, then we might as well ship children off to be raised in state-sponsored nurseries at birth. Whether you're a an atheist that wants your child omitted from reciting the Pledge of Allegiance, a Jew who cannot allow your son to go to school on Yom Kippur, a carpenter who wants his son to take over the family business, an evolutionary biologist who doesn't want his daughter's mind filled with Intelligent Design nonsense, or a hunter who wants to teach his kid how to hold a gun, it is your right to teach your child your values and your beliefs. That right is fundamental to a free society. Courts have recognized this fact--they have routinely held that parents have almost unlimited discretion to control their children's upbringing. Just as important as the right to teach your child what you want, however, is the right to teach them how you want. To say otherwise is to accept the premise that the government knows what's better for a child than the child's parents. Sometimes, that premise is true. Most of the time, however, the parent knows exactly how to respond appropriately--and the government should recognize that and accept that.

There are undoubtedly cases in which parents cross the line separating discipline and abuse. But physical contact is neither sufficient nor necessary for a parent's actions to be abuse. My mom spanked me when I was a kid. She never did it out of anger, and she never did it for simple mistakes or accidents. When I got spanked, I deserved it. I never got the impression that she enjoyed doing it or that she was doing it for any reason other than to teach me a lesson. No matter what I may have said at the time, I could not justifiably characterize any of those spankings as child abuse. On the other hand, there are countless children who really are being abused, even if their parents have never laid a hand on them. Fortunately, we already have laws that cover most--if not all--of the different kinds of ways a parent can abuse their child. We don't need another one.

The fact that there are people who support laws like this actually scares me. The logical conclusion of this kind of thinking is that every new parent should get a brochure with government-approved disciplinary methods.

It's fucking absurd.

Posted by Ismael Tapia II at 5:32 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)| Filed under Legal Rants , Philosophical Rants , Political Rants , Rants About Things That Make Me Irrationally Angry , Rants on the News

I remember one night when I was fourteen I was lying in bed and just sort of thinking about the future. I remember thinking that I'd be able to drive in two years, and that it seemed both like it was very far away and just around the corner. And I remember that when I was seventeen, driving around in my '65 Mustang, I remembered thinking about driving that night when I was fourteen. And I thought about it, and those years just seemed like they had gone by instantaneously.

Now I'm twenty-six, and I can't fucking believe where I am. One time in college, we rented Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil because we liked John Cusack and Kevin Spacey. The movie was bad in a way I can't even describe. I think we actually stopped watching it in the middle. Still, there's this scene where Kevin Spacey says "I'm what they call 'nouveau riche,' but then, it's only the 'riche' that counts." I think my situation can be summed up like this: "I'm what they call an 'unemployed attorney,' but then, it's only the 'unemployed' that counts."

I don't think this is the worst I've ever felt. That period during my freshmen year of college during which I was homeless was probably worse. And then there were all the attempted suicides. Not my attempted suicides, mind you, but having your friends--or even people you vaguely tolerate--try to kill themselves is stressful, too. The strange thing with that period is that, when I think back to it, it almost feels like it wasn't me that was living my life. That period was so fucking stressful, now that I think about it.

I had moved in with my best friends from high school, Tony and Eric, and Tony's sister, Ana. As it turns out, Ana hated me--a lot. No matter what I did, she was always, constantly pissed at me. I had never lived with other people, and I had no idea how to deal with it. And I was under the mistaken impression that Tony and Eric were, if not on my side, then at least uncomfortable with the situation as well. What's worse, Ana somehow managed to convince me that I was always wrong about everything. I couldn't stand up to her for some reason.

I remember everyone I lived with told me that we couldn't use the internet for weeks because there was something wrong with our phone line. Later, I found out that my roommates had lied to me because they didn't want me using the internet, even though the computers in their rooms had been hooked up for weeks. I came to hate that apartment. I hated being there. I hated being around those people. I was always uncomfortable and anxious there. I had a place where I kept my stuff, but I didn't have a home. Living there was hell. But as much as all of that sucked, it turns out that the only thing that was worse was not living there, which is exactly what ended up happening.

I don't know all the details about what happened. I know that Ana and the apartment manager were friends. I know that she wanted me the hell out of there. I know that she had Tony and Eric completely under her control. And that they both wanted me gone, too, because they wanted someone else to move in. I also knew that, no matter what I wanted to believe, neither one of them would have my back. Claiming that I had been solely responsible for three separate noise violations, Ana told me that either I moved out or all of us would be evicted. I asked for an example of the noise violations, and Ana told me that one of them involved me playing my guitar. That was fair, except that the instance she mentioned involved not just me, but both of my other roommates and other guests. It wasn't just me. Still, I agreed to move out.

When I signed the papers releasing me from the lease, both Tony and Eric gave me these looks that I've always suspected meant they were somehow involved with what was happening. Or everything they said could have been true. I don't know.

I lived on my friend's dorm-room floor for a while, until my mom saved the day.

And things sort of went downhill from there for a long time. Tony and Eric immediately got a new roommate, someone from my childhood that I had introduced them to. It was pretty clear that I had been replaced in our little high-school trio, which was fine. Then things got really, really bad and I reacted, well, really well. A lot of us did, I think. Well, at least two of us did. I know it's stupid and cliche, but that whole experience taught me what real friends are all about. And, when it was over, I think I was a better, stronger person. I've never let myself get pushed around the way Ana pushed me around again--I don't think I was nearly as assertive before the whole thing as I was after. I've also become much more selective about who I call my friend.

I don't know why I'm writing about all of that. I hadn't thought about it for a long time. I guess it's because that was the last time I can remember feeling as lost as I do right now. But I guess I'm also thinking about that time because it was the hardest stuff seventeen-year-old me had ever had to deal with. And I got through. I guess it reminds me that I'll get through this, too.

I just hope it's sooner rather than later.

Posted by Ismael Tapia II at 5:50 AM | Permalink | Comments (6)| Filed under Existential Nonsense , Life Sucks Sometimes , Movie Reviews

As much as I love it, Heroes really has not been as good this season as it was at its best last season. Perhaps that's why good episodes like tonight's are still kind of disappointing. This would have been an average episode last season; this season, it's one of the best. Still, there was some good stuff and, as is unfortunately the case nowadays, some pretty stupid stuff.

Peter, Adam, and Victoria Pratt
We're off to save the world again. Only not really because Adam is a sociopath, but Peter's too stupid to see that, even when Adam kills someone he didn't really have to kill. Victoria Pratt got kind of built up, so I was hoping to see more from her. I was disappointed on that front. I was also disappointed to see Peter take Adam's killing her so lightly. This is Peter restored, right? This is the same guy who used to be a hospice nurse and care for dying people, right? Seems sorta ridiculous that he's just be like "ok, well, you shot her dead, that's cool." To me, anyway.

We've heard that Linderman was Adam's disciple, and that seems to be hinted at here: Linderman wanted to save the world by killing lots of people; Adam apparently wants to save it by killing everyone.

But the most interesting part of Peter's story--and the worst, I thought--was his confrontation with Hiro. Let's review: this is Hiro Nakamura. He came back in time from the future to tell you that, in order to save the world, you had to save the cheerleader. Then he was there with you, fighting alongside you as you battled Sylar (if you can call what happened a battle, which you can't, but I digress). This is Hiro fucking Nakamura--you've worked with him before. You should trust him, Peter. But, no. Let's fucking electro shock the fuck out of him.

It's not all Peter's fault, though. Hiro shows up and says "Adam killed my father, now I have to kill him!" Well, sure that's going to set Peter off. But that's not the only reason Hiro's there. In fact, the dialogue in a previous scene made it seem pretty much like Hiro was primarily motivated by, you know, saving the world. He left with the express purpose of doing that. So why, then, when confronted with a situation where he has to explain his purpose, would he open by saying that he's there to kill someone a potential ally clearly trusts? if Hiro had just said "Peter! I'm here to stop a deadly virus from being released!" Peter wouldn't have started with the pyrotechnics. Sure, the Adam issue would have come up, but then at least Hiro and Peter wouldn't have immediately jumped into a confrontational situation. It's stupid writing, and it's getting pretty frustrating. Also, if the fight between Hiro and Peter ends up being better than the fight between Peter and Sylar, I'm going to be really fucking pissed.

But, anyway. I guess we'll see what happens next week.

The rest of Hiro's story was decent but, again, only because I like backstory. Hiro's timetraveling is becoming more of an overused plot device than anything. Scene in the writer's room:

Writer 1: Ok, we should probably give some background here. But I don't want to develop characters or anything like that. Is there some way that we can do it in a pointless flashback or something?
Writer 2: Wait a minute! I've got an even better idea! Ok, ok, hear me out! You know how we've got Hiro? And he can travel through time? Well--and I know this is kind of out there--but what if we have Hiro travel in time for some reason? Like, to go and actually see some dramatic event? Huh? Huh? Yeah?
Writer 1: I love it! Let's do that all the fucking time. Jeez, writing for TV is really fucking easy.

Claire
First of all, why couldn't West have been like this before? He's not a fucking creep or a forced caricature--he's just a teenage boyfriend trying to be there for his girlfriend. He's much more believable and likable.

Also, Kristen Bell rocks. She plays the Elle perfectly as a petulant pseudoadult, and the relationship between Elle and Bob is one of the few new relationships that actually works on some level.

As for Claire herself, she looked damned hot in this episode. Also, I like where her story's going. The stuff with her feeling guilty is predictable but also believable and good. We completely understood why she felt angry and betrayed before, and we completely understands why she feels guilty now. The writers should learn from these scenes. What I really liked was the scene where Claire sees Elle and confronts her. Claire decides to stop hiding and running and to take the fight to the Company. It's proactive, it's heroic, and it's, I thought, a very believable path for her character. And I really want to see where it goes.

Sylar and the Mexicans
Alejandro and Maya were both worthless to begin with but Alejandro was always less so. If there's anything worse than not having a super power, it's only having the power to undo one specific person's power. Alejandro was the superhero equivalent of an egg slicer: he was extremely useful in a very, very, very limited range of circumstances. And when you've got a knife that'll do exactly the same thing just about as fast, there's no reason to keep the egg slicer. So Alejandro's fortunately gone, but we still have to deal with Maya's irritating presence. Blah.

Sylar was good again, though. And the scene with him with Molly at the end really freaked me out--he'd better not hurt a hair on her cute-as-a-button head!

Mohinder
Fuck you, you stupid Indian piece of shit.

Next week is the finale, which is kind of surprising and seems to have come up real quick. I'm split about the whole thing with this season being split into two large arcs. On the one hand, this arc has largely sucked, so I'm glad to see it go. But there just isn't the tension in this finale that there was for last year's when we got to see all the characters slowly come together to save the world. This time, a few of them are going to stop something that only a few of them know about. And then some other stuff is going to happen. We'll see how it plays out. Maybe it's a good thing: the writers have proven that they're not particularly clutch, so maybe lower tension and lower expectations are good for them. We'll see.

Posted by Ismael Tapia II at 6:14 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)| Filed under Heroes , Television Reviews

Alright, I really am going to do the one about stupid law suits. But not right now. Mostly because I'm lazy. Besides, I'm totally in the Christmas spirit now. I wasn't in October when they started putting up the Christmas decorations in stores. And I wasn't in November when there were a bunch of commercials for Black Friday sales. But, now that it's after Thanksgiving and it's actually almost December, I'm all about Christmas. I've been walking around singing Christmas carols to myself for a few days now.

So, the new poll asks what your least favorite part of the Christmas season is. Personally, I voted for the fact that it starts in October. Seriously, the Christmas season is awesome, but only because it's short and only happens once a year. I love that warm and fuzzy feeling I get from sitting around the Christmas tree with my family, but there's no fucking way I'm ready to start thinking about that when my main concern is what I'm going to be for Halloween and how I'm going to get home without driving. And, sure, I hate the commercialism of the whole thing. I mean, I'm going to spoil my kids rotten if I can, but I'm also going to try to instill in them that it's the people that make Christmas important, not the gifts.

Anyway, as for the last poll, Harry Shearer won by a wide margin, which I think is surprising--I really thought Hank Azaria would win.

Posted by Ismael Tapia II at 4:23 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)| Filed under Polls , Rants About Things That Make Me Irrationally Angry

I just got back from Thanksgiving with L-Dawg and X-tina, who were nice enough to invite me over to have a meal with them. The food was awesome, but the company was better.

Before we sat down to eat, I called up my mom, knowing that the rest of my family was getting together today at my cousin's place. My mom didn't answer. So I called my aunt. She did answer, but she was all distracted and hurried. I guess that she was in the middle of cooking at her house. They were going to go to my cousin's later. Anyway, I talked to my mom real briefly and told her that I'd call back later when everyone was all together. She was like "what for?" Goddamnit, mom, so that I can talk to everyone, that's what for. Then I talked to my grandma real quick.

Long after L-Dawg, X-tina, and I ate--and a little while after we recovered from our massive food comas--I called my mom again. No answer. So I called my aunt. No answer. So I called my cousin. No answer. So I called my mom again. No answer. So I called my aunt again. No answer. So I called my cousin. No answer. So I called my other cousin. Turns out she must have a new phone number. So I called my uncle. Turns out he must have a new phone number, too. So then I called my other cousin. He actually answered! And in the background, I heard all this boisterous laughing and screaming and storytelling, and I got kind of sad. Then my cousin handed my mom the phone, and she sort of talked to me for a bit, but then she passed the phone off to my cousin, and she said she meant to call me today but then hadn't. Then she passed the phone to my other cousin, and she was busy with her daughter, so the phone got passed to my grandma, but there was too much noise for her to have any idea what was happening, so then I got passed off to my aunt, but she was busy, too. And that was my big call home for Thanksgiving.

It's not that I expected anything different, I guess. It's just that I wish I was there. I miss them.

Posted by Ismael Tapia II at 11:13 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)| Filed under Existential Nonsense , Life Sucks Sometimes

Some times it's easier to find something to be thankful for than others. I'm having a hard time coming up with things to be thankful for right now.

I mean, I'm thankful for my family. I owe them everything. They've always been there for me and supported me. And forgiven me. Even when I really, really didn't deserve it. So if you're reading this and you're someone I'm related to, thank you very much for everything. I probably don't say it often enough, but I love you.

And I'm thankful for my friends. Sometimes, it takes realizing that someone wasn't the best friend in order to truly appreciate how amazing your real friends are. I've let my friends down way too often, but I'm hard pressed right now to come up with even a single time that they've let me down. Goddamn, I've got some awesome friends.

And, of course, I'm thankful for the roof over my head and the food in my stomach. I'm thankful for my cats, who never fail to cheer me up. I'm thankful for all of the things that have made my life an overwhelmingly positive thing.

But I'm really sad about a lot of things, too. For one, I really thought I'd have a job right now. The possiblity that I still wouldn't have a job six months after graduation never even occurred to me. And now that that is my reality, I'm starting to get extremely depressed about it. A lot of it is out of my control, but that doesn't make it any better at all. I feel more and more worthless every day that goes by and every dollar I spend. And I'm faced with a terrible decision: I can't possibly stay alive without earning money, so how the hell am I going to do that? The Architect told Neo that there were levels of survival the Machines were willing to accept. I guess I have to admit to myself that survival is more important than pride, and that's a truly depressing and demoralizing thought. I'm a fucking lawyer, goddamnit. But I need money. Ugh.

I'm kinda sad that I won't be home for Thanksgiving. Not that I have been in the past three years, but it still sucks. I'll hopefully get to see my family over Christmas, but this is the longest span I've ever gone without seeing my mom, and I miss her.

And there's a bunch of other stuff going on that's not really blogable. I don't know. It's just been a hard week, and there's no end in sight. Things are going to get better before they get worse.

But I'm still excited to get up every morning. And that's due to my friends and family. So thanks again, guys.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

Posted by Ismael Tapia II at 3:25 AM | Permalink | Comments (7)| Filed under Existential Nonsense , Life Sucks Sometimes , Things I'm Irrationally Attached To

Alright--another episode that reminds me of how good this series can be. From beginning to end, this episode was full of suspense and action. And, more importantly, it ostly executed well. For the first time in a while, each of the narratives felt cohesive and believable--with the exception of Hiro's decision to (yet again) travel back in time to try to save someone's life. Still, there was no Niki (although she was mentioned), and no Wonder Twins. That, right there, is a good thing.

Hiro
I still love Hiro, but the writers seem to be at a loss as far as what to do with him. He wasted all that time in feudal Japan, and, upon his return, the first thing he does is . . . *wait for it* . . . travel back in time! Yay. I mean, I guess if I had the ability to time travel and I found out that my father had recently died, I'd try to go back to stop it, too. But Hiro's been there and done that--remember Charlie? He couldn't save her, so why would he be able to save Kaito?

When he first arrived back at the roof of the Deveaux building, I was certain that we were in for some awesome revelation. I was sure that Mr. Nakamura would tell his son something shocking about his history or that of the Company. But, no, we get a nested time-travel adventure. Ugh. And then Hiro bumps into young Hiro? That seems problematic. And then older Hiro just changes his mind? Can we say "contrived"? None of that was necessary to set up the whole point of Hiro's journey through time: the reveal that Takezo Kensei killed Hiro's father. Taken on its own, that revelation wasn't much of a revelation. We know that Adam hates Hiro and is out for revenge, and who'd be able to fall from that height and survive but someone with the ability to heal. Still, it means that not only is Adam after Hiro, now Hiro's after Adam, too, which means that their confrontation should be pretty awesome. Add in the fact that Peter's working with Adam and you've got the makings of an amazing showdown. Although I'm sure that Hiro and Peter will end up on the same side at the end of the day.

I just wish the whole thing would have been done differently.

Parkman
There wasn't much here, but what there was was pretty good. We knew that Parkman's abilities were going to evolve, and it was nice to see that start. But, of course, the best part was Parkman forcing Mrs. Petrelli to finally tell us something true. I thought the acting in that scene--with Angela fighting Parkman's suggestion causing her to convulse and bleed--was awesome. I can't wait to hear more about the woman Angela was trying so hard to protect. She must be someone extremely important for Angela to go through all of that.

Also, we got a look at the picture of the twelve founders with all of them identified. You can see it here. Like Parkman said, all of them except for Angela, Bob, Maury, and the woman Angela wouldn't talk about are dead. Interestingly, one of the people in the picture is named Carlos Mendez. Like Isaac Mendez. I wonder what--if anything--we'll learn about that.

The Bennets and Mohinder
As the Bennets go, so goes the episode. Whenever their part of the episode is good, the episode as a whole generally is. When their part sucks, the episode generally sucks. It's the strength of this part of tonight's episode that makes this arguably the best of the season so far. The Bennets were firing on all cylinders.

Claire's positions--her distrust of her father, her frustration at their situation, and her eventual realization that Mr. Bennet was right--are all believable and consistent with her character. Mr. Bennet finally realized that it was time for him to trust his family. Again. Let's hope the lesson sticks this time, assuming he ever sees his family again. Still, we saw him at his best and worst; he's someone who's willing to do literally anything for his family, even if that means lying to them or killing. And Mrs. Bennet finally showed a bit of a backbone. Lyle, on the other hand, continues to be an annoying brat.

Elle's role here as the contrast to Claire was awesome. Where Claire is wholesome and good, Elle is morally grey at best and a complete sociopath at worst. And now we know exactly why Mr. Bennet fought so hard to keep Claire away from the Company. Also, it was awesome to see Elle get shocked by her own power.

Even West was tolerable.

And then there's Mohinder. I don't know what the fuck is going on in his head, but he's dead to me. There were any number of ways to keep Noah from shooting Bob, many of which did not involve shooting Mr. Bennet in the face. The fact that Mohinder did that, even though we knew it was coming, was pretty fucking shocking. I don't know why Mohinder chose to align himself with a Company he knows to be evil rather than a person he knows to acting in what he sees as in the best interests of his family. Mr. Bennet and the Company might both be evil, but Mr. Bennet is by far less so.

From start to finish, with minor flaws, this was a great episode that kept me on the edge of my seat and, more importantly, set up future plots while delivering plenty of action. This is what the first eight episodes should have been like.

Posted by Ismael Tapia II at 4:09 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)| Filed under Heroes , Television Reviews

For various reasons, it was imperative that Mr. Utah replace his dead laptop this weekend. Partially to that end, he drove down to Madison from his home in the North. L-Dawg and I took him to Best Buy to check out the selection. That was our first mistake.

See, the Best Buy rarely has the best buys. In fact, I hate the Best Buy. If it wasn't for the fact that they're the largest electronics store in the city, I'd never go there. Fuck them.

Their computer selection was underwhelming, to say the least. That, combined with Mr. Utah's frugal--almost Costanza-esque--shopping instinct, left us with very few choices. Imagine how frustrated I was, then, when, after asking you to retreive a computer that was both cheap and decent, you informed us that it was sold out of all of the Best Buys in the area. Yeah, I was angry and annoyed. But my response--"Youuuu fucker"--was wholly inappropriate, and I apologize.

Posted by Ismael Tapia II at 1:02 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)| Filed under Apologies , Existential Nonsense , Funny Shit , Horribly Inappropriate Things I've Said

Although I have no evidence to support this conclusion, I'm fairly certain that there are a large number of female readers of this blog that want me. Like, sexually. While I'd love nothing more than to satisfy you all in some sort of huge orgy scenario, I'm really pretty much into monagamy. So here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to post some of the things I must and must not have in a woman. If this is you, then you win. If not, then please try to move on with your life and know that someday, somewhere, you'll meet someone that will help you get over me, even though you'll never be able to forget me.

1. You have to hate people. Nothing confuses me more than when people say that they don't hate anyone or that they're incapable of hate. I just don't understand that--I hate lots of people. I mean, ok, maybe it comes down to your definition of hate. I say I hate people, but I don't mean that I want to see them dead. I don't mean that I want to see them tortured. I don't want people they love to die or anything like that. I hate people, but I still think the people I hate have the same moral rights as people I don't hate. So, if that's what you think about when you say that you don't hate anyone, then I don't hate anyone, either. But there are people I think are entirely without redeeming qualities, other than that they're human beings. Those people I hate. And if you can't say that there are people you'd love to see fail, then you and I just aren't going to work out.
2. You have to like music that doesn't suck.Everyone has some songs on their iTunes or some CDs on their shelf that they aren't proud of. I'll admit right now that I've got a few N'sync songs on my computer ("Bye, Bye, Bye" kicks ass. There, I said it.). And people might even have completely different taste than me--that's cool, too. I don't really like hip-hop, but if you're really into Outkast, that's cool. I'm not really into electronic music, but if DJ Shadow floats your boat, cool. I don't really care for jazz or blues, but if you love B.B. King, that's fine. I don't like country. And you shouldn't, either. I'm not saying that fifteen of your top twenty-five songs have to be by The Smashing Pumpkins or anything like that, but if you think that Nickelback has made really good, touching music, then you and I just aren't going to work out.
3. You have to be able to have intelligent conversations about politics, philosophy, and maybe even science. I'm not saying I can have intelligent conversations about those things, but I'd like someone who can. Girls who are smarter than me have always turned me on. It would be so awesome to be up late one night talking about how stupid the Democrats have been this election season, how ridiculous the pseudophilosopy in The Matrix was, or how awesome retrograde motion's part in the development of the heliocentric theory of the solar system was. I'll do anything you're into sexually--even if I'm not into it--if you have a degree in physics. My friends once drove me insane by telling me that Jessica Alba went to MIT--how could someone that hot exist? You don't have to understand quantum physics, but if you're not at least curious, then you and I just aren't going to work out.
4. You have to at least tolerate the fact that I'm a huge, huge dork. I mean, yeah, I'm a dork. I've got a picture of Yoda up on my wall, for fuck's sake. I'd love it if you'd sit around and play video games with me or go to a midnight showing of the new Harry Potter movie. But that's probably asking too much. You don't have to know that there are two different versions of Supergirl (one of which is Superman's cousin Kara Zor-El and the other of which was created by Lex Luthor), that Wookiees come from the planet Kashyyyk, or that the day that Aragorn, Gimli, and Legolas met Gandalf the White in Fangorn Forest for the first time was Aragorn's eighty-eighth birthday, but if you refuse to read any Harry Potter books, then you and I just aren't going to work out.
5. You have to weigh less than I do. I don't think this is really asking too much, given my weight. And, while it could be called a superficial requirement, I really don't think it's that bad. I mean, I'm not saying your measurements have to be 34-23-34 or anything like that. But if you're 5'9" and weigh 400 pounds, then you and I just aren't going to work out.

I'm sorry if I've disappointed any of you, ladies, but that's just the way it's gotta be.

Posted by Ismael Tapia II at 2:09 AM | Permalink | Comments (8)| Filed under Existential Nonsense , Funny Shit , Harry Potter , Horribly Inappropriate Things I've Said , Rants , Star Wars , Superman , The Lord of the Rings , The Smashing Pumpkins

Ok, seriously, not having to go to school or a job has fucked my sleeping schedule. I'm not even doing anything important--I just find myself watching TV or fucking around on the internet. And that's never been more apparent than tonight. Here's what I've been doing since about 1am.

First, I wanted to find an interview with Tim Kring, the creator of Heroes that Purple Hays told me about. It's not as long and extensive as I would have liked, but he definitely admits that they've fucked up the show to some degree and--perhaps most awesomely--promises that not all of the new characters will live through the season. God, I really hope that Maya and Alejandro get the Nikki and Paolo treatment. See, and if I had stopped there, I might have gone to bed at a reasonable hour.

But I didn't stop there. I scrolled down to the bottom of the page. I clicked on some links and eventually found myself reading an oral history of the production of the first episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation, which just happens to be one of my favorite shows and which just happens to have first aired twenty years ago. Anyway, I read through that and, again, had the chance to save myself, but I couldn't. You see, I found two more irresistable links. The first was to a list of the top-ten TNG episodes ever. (By the way, the list is totally fucked up because it doesn't put "Best of Both Worlds" or "All Good Things . . . ." at the top. Still, the choices are pretty good. And I actually referenced the tenth-best episode last weekend while talking to Bluebunny.) That was fairly straightforward. It was the second link that really fucked me. It was a "where are they now" thing. In particular, the page for Wil Wheaton, who played the super-annoying teenaged wizkid Wesley Crusher (I actually never minded him that much when I used to watch the show, but he's pretty bad now that I've seen some reruns), gave me two good links. The first was to Mr. Wheaton's personal blog, which actually doesn't seem that great, except that it did link to this video produced by the writers of the Daily Show about the strike. It's pretty good:

The other Wheaton-related link, though, is solid TNG-fan gold. It's Mr. Wheaton's reviews of the episodes from TNG's first season. And they are fucking hilarious. They also offer some fairly entertaining behind-the-scenes info. Here's a representative quote:

Before the Edo leaders will tell Riker how many people they can bring down from the Enterprise, they suggest that they "play at love." Rivan, the woman, suggests that Worf play at love with her (Aside: if my memory serves me correctly, Michael Dorn and Brenda Bakke, who played Rivan, spent a little time, uh, playing, together during the production of this episode,) while Liator looks at Riker, jams his true desires deep into the closet, and asks Troi if she'll play with him. Just before Sexual Harassment Panda shows up, Wesley Crusher says, "Dude, this is bullshit. Either hook me up with some fine Edo ass, or let me get away from you creepy middle-aged swingers and find it on my own."

Okay, maybe that's not what he says, but it's certainly what a certain actor who played Wesley Crusher was thinking at the time. What he actually says is, "Uh, erm, uh, I'm a weenie and I can't be too close to this crazy hot woman who wants to go all Mrs. Robinson on me. Can you please take me to some kids my own age, so I can get as far away from the boobies as possible? It would be great if there was some sort of science project I could work on, and some technobabble I could deliver, too. I really need to be in my comfort zone, or at least change into some loose-fitting pants."

Anyway, that's how I ended up staying up until 5:30am.

Posted by Ismael Tapia II at 5:28 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)| Filed under Existential Nonsense , Things I'm Irrationally Attached To

I've been pretty bad about taking and sharing pictures lately, so here are some. These first few are from my recent trip to Chicago. Here's a nice one of RPM and Bluebunny:

Next up is a few we took on our tour of haunted Chicago. See if you can spot any "orbs." If you can, you're seeing photographic evidence of a ghost. Not as convincing as the historical evidence for vampires, but still pretty compelling:

Then, here are some from later that night when we were all hanging out at a bar. These are all examples of Bluebunny's "pictures taken from above are better" theory of photography. Here's Bluebunny herself:

And Purple Hays:

And, of course, myself:

And here are some from Halloween. First, Mr. Utah and X-tina kicking it on the couch during our traditional game of Asshole:

And here's Purple Hays and Mr. Vice looking like some pretty bad-ass pirates:

And here's the whole crowd, including me in my amazing guy-in-a-cape costume and Mr. Utah in his, um, you know, in his costume:

And here's one of Mr. Vice and I:

But wait a second! What the fuck is that orb-like thing floating somewhere between me and the camera? Holy fucking shit! It's photographic evidence of a motherfucking ghost! Look again:

Anyway, there are some pictures.

Posted by Ismael Tapia II at 2:36 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)| Filed under Existential Nonsense , Fun Shit I've Done , Funny Shit , Hanging Out With My Friends

So, I'm now officially an attorney in two different states and, as far as I can tell, I haven't started growing scales. Nor am I cold blooded. Yup, it looks like I'm still a human being rather than some sort of slimy reptile thing. Although an ambulance drove past me the other day and I was overtaken by this urge to chase it. I didn't, though.

One of the things that was really different about the Illinois and Wisconsin swearing-in ceremonies was the sheer size of the thing. In Chicago, I was sworn in with about two thousand of my new colleagues. It was a massive ceremony held in some giant sports arena type thing. It was extremely impersonal. That's to be expected, I suppose, because the Chicago metropolitan area alone has almost twice as many people as the entire state of Wisconsin.

By contrast, the Wisconsin ceremony was extremely personal and much more informal, even though it happened in the actual Supreme Court. Me and about twenty other people--only three of whom were from the UW--were sworn in by Justice David Prosser, Jr., who was extremely nice and personable. He made it a point to shake everyone's hand and ask what the person's plans are. I replied that my goal was to get a job; the Justice laughed. He also let me sit in the Chief Justice's chair and take a picture. It was pretty awesome--not to mention intimidating.

What I really liked about the Wisconsin ceremony, however, was the sense of tradition. It really felt like joining a really big club, especially when it came time to sign my name in the roll of attorneys. Apparently, every attorney ever admitted in the state has signed his or her name in one of the books, and it was a really cool feeling knowing I was doing something that people like Bob LaFollette and Jim Doyle--not to mention RPM, Bluebunny, Purple Hays, Mr. Vice, Mr. Utah, and X-tina--have done. Sure, Joe McCarthy's name is in there, too, but every club has its black sheep.

Another marked difference between Illinois and Wisconsin was the length of the Attorney's Oath. In Illinois, it consisted of only a few lines, mostly affirmations about how we will protect the state and federal constitutions and represent our clients to the best of our abilities. The Wisconsin oath is much more explicit:

I do solemnly swear:

I will support the Constituion of the United States and the Constitution of the State of Wisconsin;

I will maintain the respect due to courts of justice and judicial officers;

I will not counsel or maintain any suit or proceeding which shall appear to me to be unjust, or any defense, except such as I believe to be honestly debatable under the law of the land;

I will employ, for the purpose of maintaining the causes confided to me, such means only as are consistent with truth and honor, and will never seek to mislead the judge or jury by any artifice or false statement of fact or law;

I will maintain the confidence and preserve inviolate the secrets of my client and will accept no compensation in connection with my client's business except from my client or with my client's knowledge and approval;

I will abstain from all offensive personality and advance no fact prejudicial to the honor or reputation of a party or witness, unless required by the justice of the cause with which I am charged;

I will never reject, from any consideration personal to myself, the cause of the defenseless or oppressed, or delay any person's cause for lucre or malice;

So help me God.

I remember once in college sitting at a table at Denny's late at night talking with a couple of friends. This was long before I decided to go to law school. One of my friends had known for a long time that he wanted to go to law school, though. Somehow, the issue of what the most important profession in the country is came up. I argued that teachers were the most important. My friend argued that lawyers were. I disagreed completely and absolutely. And I still do.

Although lawyers are necessary in today's society, I think we serve more as a testament to the overcomplication of our civilization than as an example of the most important contributors to the general welfare. And it saddens me to say that some of us might be much worse than that; lawyers have a bad reputation, but it's not entirely undeserved. Still, any graduate of the UW Law School will tell you that not all attorneys are money-hungry people. And even some of the ones that are aren't that bad.

Speaking as someone who hasn't yet represented a client, argued in court, worried about billable hours, or received a paycheck, I resolve never to take my duties as an attorney--duties that I owe to my colleagues, judges, the profession, and, most importantly, my clients--lightly. Ours can be a noble profession, and I hope that I never bring shame to the name attorney because I know I'll never be ashamed to use that name.

Posted by Ismael Tapia II at 1:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (5)| Filed under Existential Nonsense , General Awesomeness

Last week's episode continues to be this season's high-water mark. After the revelations and questions they presented, tonight's flashback episode was rather anticlimactic, especially since it didn't really give us much new or interesting information. Moreover, it's a retread of a concept the writers used last season: take us into the past so that we understand our characters' present. The title of last season's analagous episode was even similar--"Six Months Ago." Unfortunately for those of us living in the present, last season's episode was much better.

The primary problem is that tonight's episode didn't do much to fill in any gaps. Who gives a shit about Niki's third personality or how D.L. actually died? Was any of that necessary? At all? Why not just have D.L. die from Mr. Linderman's gunshot wound? How is this death any different or better?

Peter's story was perhaps most interseting--especially because of Kristen Bell. But even his relationship with Adam seemed rather forced. And, seriously, did Peter really need someone to point out to him that he was in a fucking prison? Is he really that dense? I also wondered about when Peter met D.L. I don't remember if he did, other than at Kirby Plaza. Also, it was nice to finally have some confirmation that Peter couldn't fly away on his own because it was taking all his concentration to keep from exploding. I still wish they had included that line in last season's finale. It wouldn't have kept it from being a trainwreck, but it would have been better.

There were some interesting tidbits, such as the part where Adam's blood allows Nathan to heal himself. Now we know that Claire can use her abilities to indirectly heal other people, which is cool. We also know that her healing ability goes much, much further than we might have imagined--Adam had apparently been kept prisoner for thirty years, and he thought The Company would have killed him if they could. The fact that he wasn't dead suggests that they couldn't, due to his healing powers. That's just cool.

Next week's episode looks like it's going to be pretty good. I hope that something in this week's episode becomes somehow relevant, or I'm just going to be pissed.

Posted by Ismael Tapia II at 4:08 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)| Filed under Heroes , Television Reviews

I have the power!

As of Thursday, I am officially an attorney in Illinois. The ceremony itself was pretty lame, actually. There were about two thousand people getting sworn in at the same time, and there were some incredibly lame speakers, not to mention representatives from some bar associations that I, frankly, can't believe actually exist. Still, it was pretty cool to stand up with a bunch of other people and officially receive the power to represent a client in court.

The rest of my weekend was also pretty cool. I fucking love Chicago. My interview--which was not at all in Chicago--went relatively well, I thought, but they did say that they had interviewed a bunch of people, so who knows. I'm also afraid that I didn't come off as competative enough. We'll see--they said they'd let me know in two weeks. The job itself seemed really cool, but I wish it was closer to Chicago. I'd take it, though, and I'd be pretty happy with it.

We also did a lot of hanging out, and I had a generally great time. If I don't get the job I interviewed for, I'm going to redouble my efforts to find something in Chicago. I fucking love it down there.

Thursday night, we went on this tour of various haunted places in the city. It was kind of fun, and our tour guide--Ken Berg--was pretty cool, although almost certainly full of shit. He claimed to be a real psychic and said that he had helped various law-enforcement agencies--including Interpol--solve some crimes. Still, he's pretty much the coolest person I've ever met in my entire life based solely on the fact that he opened for The Smashing Pumpkins at their farewell show at the Metro--a fact I didn't know during the tour, which is probably good for Mr. Berg since I doubt he would have liked me being in constant physical contact with him.

The tour itself was pretty cool, even if you, like me, don't believe in ghosts and shit. It was full of funny stories and history, so it was still totally worth it.

After the tour, we went to a bar and one of us--I'm not saying who--got really drunk. HInt: it wasn't me. Or RPM. Or Purple Hays. Or Mr. Vice.

The next day we went to brunch and then I went to my interview while the others caught up on sleep. When I got back from my interview, we hung out for a while before heading to dinner at Fogo de Chao, a Brazilian-style steakhouse where there's no menu--just a disc with red and green sides that "controls the flow of your meat." Basically, if you put the green side up, then various men in pirate pants and carrying huge sticks with lots of meat on them come around and offer you, well, meat. And you eat the meat. And it's the best thing ever.

Then we went out for a while, and it was a lot of fun, but everyone was fucking tired, so it was a pretty early evening.

On Saturday, Mr. Vice and pH got an early start on driving back to Chicago, but RPM, Bluebunny, and the ShakenNeighbor went to a free exhibit at the Museum of Contemporary Art: Sympathy for the Devil. It was actually pretty disappointing, but oh well.

Then I drove back.

All in all, it was an awesome time. And, like I said, I really hope I can find a job in that area.

Posted by Ismael Tapia II at 11:22 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)| Filed under Existential Nonsense , Fun Shit I've Done , General Awesomeness , Hanging Out With My Friends , The Smashing Pumpkins

I'm heading down to Chicago today to get sworn-in in Illinois, interview for a job, and see RPM and Bluebunny. I'm pretty excited about the trip.

In a lot of ways, getting sworn-in is more important than graduating. Although I was finished with law school months ago, I'm not actually an attorney yet. That all changes on Thursday. After I'm sworn-in, I'll actually be a full-fledged attorney. I'll be licensed to represent clients, appear in court, and have my signature have legal effect. More than graduation, it's the culmination of everything I've been working towards for the last three years, and I'm really excited about the whole thing.

I'm also pretty excited about the job interview. The firm does the kind of work I'm interested in--primarily plaintiff's litigation--and they're relatively small, which is something else that's important to me. I'm not cut out to work at Biglaw, and I don't think there's likely to be much disagreement about that amongst those that know me. In any event, I think that I'd be able to have a more direct positive impact on clients' lives at a smaller firm, and that's exactly what I want to be able to do. The firm is in a suburb outside of Chicago, which has positives and negatives. On the plus side, the cost of living is lower and I'd still be close enough to go into Chicago on occasion. Plus I'd be closer to Madison than if I lived in the city proper, which would allow me to come back up here some weekends and hang out. Still, my dream's been to live downtown in a big city for a really long time. But, I've waited this long, so I can wait longer. And, of course, I'm getting ahead of myself--I probably won't get the job.

The thing I'm most looking forward to, though, is seeing RPM and Bluebunny since I haven't seen them in far too long. I think some good times are going to be had.

So, wish me luck with all of that.

Posted by Ismael Tapia II at 2:45 AM | Permalink | Comments (5)| Filed under Existential Nonsense

I had been growing increasingly frustrated with the lack of quality in Heroes episodes. But tonight's episode really brought it back around. Everything--from the character development to the completely unforeseen (at least by me) twists--made this a great episode. I think it was definitely the best episode so far this season. I'll take things in order from least shocking to most shocking.

Claire, West, and Mr. Bennet
There wasn't anything too shocking here. Obviously, West was eventually going to find out who Claire's dad was. And obviously it wasn't going to go well. And obviously Claire was going to be pissed that Mr. Bennet had again--obviously--lied to his family. And obviously Mr. Bennet was going to overreact. There wasn't anything too shocking here, but I really liked seeing it all play out the way it did. This time, I thought, the writers did a good job. But not entirely. See, either West's uninvited breakfast cooking was a ridiculous and utterly unbelievable attempt by the writers to force the HRG-is-Claire's-dad issue or West is the creepiest fucking fucker ever. Seriously, what high-school boy shows up at his secret girlfriend's parent's house uninvited, introduces himself to her parents, and makes breakfast? That's just fucking wrong! And what kind of mother allows that? That's just fucking strange.

Matt, Maury, and Molly
It was good to see Matt man up to the whole situation. And I really liked his apology scene with Molly. And, of course, it was good to see him beat his dad and his own game. And I'm really happy that Molly's walking around again--that little girl is just so darn cute! This substory was really satisfying because Parkman's been one of my favorites for a long time, and it was awesome to see him develop both in terms of his powers and his strength of character.

Hiro and Kensei
Nothing too shocking happened here at all, but that doesn't mean that the story wasn't satisfying. The fight between Hiro and Kensei was pretty cool, especially Kensei's oath to make Hiro suffer. Hiro's goodbye to Yaeko was touching; it sucks that he gets teased with a relationship each season only to lose it. Perhaps the most shocking thing was the explosion and the lack of Kensei remains--doesn't he regenerate? I swear, I kept wondering what happened to his body. Perhaps the best part, though, is that Hiro is back in the present and reunited with Ando. Fuck yeah.

Mohinder and Niki
I still hate Niki, but she was a little more tolerable this time around. And she's got the fucking virus! I'm not saying the extermination of 93 percent of the world's population would be good, but if it means Niki dies, too, then, you know, maybe it is. In any event, it's one of the few times that we've seen Niki stand up and take some fucking responsibility, even if there was still some "woe is me" crap going on. Her stabbing herself was good, and it's interesting that the virus has mutated and that Mohinder's blood can no longer kill it.

As far as Mohinder, his shit was a little more shocking. First of all, why in the fuck did he tell Bob that he was working with Mr. Bennet? That's just fucking stupid. Seriously--has Mohinder forgotten everything? That made me pretty angry, but I can't say that I was entirely surprised--Mr. Bennet's been just as obtuse as Mohinder. Still, I don't know why he's apparently decided to give up the quest to bring down the Company. Regardless of Mr. Bennet's actions, the Company still wanted to let New York blow up, and they've been playing pretty fast and loose with the virus.

Peter, Angela, and Caitlin
Alright. Peter's back! I'm fucking excited to see that Peter got at least part of his memories back. Also, what, if anything, does this reveal about Angela's power? And now he's back in our time and, of course, we're left wondering what Peter was off doing for four months and what he was doing with Adam.

Bob, Nathan, and The Company in general
I'm glad that someone finally forced Bob to be a little more forthcoming. We got a glimpse of backstory on The Company, and I do love backstory. More importantly, we got an idea of how the whole thing started or, more accurately, who started it. We had been lead to believe that Mr. Linderman was behind the whole thing, but, as it turns out, he was only acting under Adam Monroe's direction. That's very interesting. What's more interesting, considering the last point on my list, is that Bob's dialogue seemed to suggest that Adam had weather-controlling abilities--isn't that why he pointed out the story about snow in Miami?

Adam
I seriously didn't see that coming. There are so many awesome questions now: If Adam is Kensei, does that mean that he created The Company as part of his quest for revenge against Hiro? Is that why Kaito was involved? Or has Kensei given up on that? Moreover, did Kensei somehow get transported to the future, or have his healing abilities given him an incredibly long life? I don't think that's very far-fetched--the writers have frequently borrowed from Marvel comic books, and Wolverine's healing abilities have greatly extended his lifespan. (It should also be noted that, at least in the X-Men cartoon series, Wolverine was purposely infected with a world-ravaging virus for the express purpose of having his healing factor find a cure.) If Kensei-Adam has been alive for the past 400 years, then what has he been up to the whole time? What was Bob talking about when he implied that Adam could control the weather? Has Adam gained more abilities in a Sylar or Peter-like fashion? Does Adam actually have Peter's ability to absorb powers, which just happened to first manefest itself in the form of healing? Remember that Claude, upon finding that Peter could absorb other peoples' powers, said "so you're one of those?" That suggests that he's seen someone with that ability before--could he have been talking about Adam? Also, that would mean that Adam absorbed Hiro's power, which could explain why he's around in the present day. If Adam is the driving force behind The Company and its creation, then why isn't he in the picture? Or is he there in some other form?

In any event, the episode was awesome, and it offered just enough answers to drive me crazy with new questions. Heroes kicks ass again, and I couldn't be happier.

Oh, and I'm fucking pissed that Heroes: Origins is now cancelled because of the strike--although it could apparently also be due to Heroes' falling ratings. In any event, that just sucks. I hope the strike ends, well, immediately.

Posted by Ismael Tapia II at 3:02 AM | Permalink | Comments (7)| Filed under Existential Nonsense , Heroes , Television Reviews

Although my opinions might sometimes suggest otherwise, our world is not black and white. I cannot accept that two political parties perfectly represent the views of the 300 million individual Americans. In fact, I'm not even sure that the Republicans and the Democrats do a good enough job of representing the views of the majority of the citizens. I know that neither perfectly represents my views, at the very least. So why is our country divided so clearly and bitterly? I'm not really sure, but I do know this: regardless of who's to blame, it's up to individuals to fix the problem.

Nothing frustrates me more than when people refuse to accept that another person's opinion is valid, even if it's wrong. I'm not talking about people like Sean Hannity, Ann Coulter, or Bill O'Reilly--those people are clearly bat-shit crazy. So, by the way, are people like Randi Rhodes, Stephanie Miller, and Sam Seder. We shouldn't let any of those people shape our discourse--at best, they should bring new issues, ideas, and arguments to our attention.

Frankly, I'm saddened when I look at my country and see that it's split so clearly and bitterly in half. And I'm reminded of two things I learned while I was an undergrad.

The first is the difference between a valid argument and a sound argument. A valid argument is one such that, if the premesis are true, then the conclusion must be true. The argument "It is Tuesday, therefore tomorrow is Wednesday" is valid because, if it is Tuesday, then tomorrow must be Wednesday. Validity does not depend on the actual truth of the statements. Therefore, the above argument is valid regardless of whether you make it on Tuesday, Wednesday, or Saturday.

A sound argument, on the other hand, is a valid argument where all of the premises--and therefore the conclusion--are, in fact, true. If you argue that "it is Tuesday, therefore tomorrow is Wednesday" on a Tuesday, then you are making a sound argument.

The nomenclature is unimportant; what really matters is that we remember that someone can have a valid opinion that is unsound. In other words, someone can have an opinion that makes complete internal sense but that doesn't jive with some fact in the real world. Where that fact is easily determinable, then the argument is--hopefully--moot. But where the fact is not so easily demonstrated, then the debate rages on. The best example I can think of is the debate over whether the Constitution should protect abortion. Although it's a complicated issue, it seems to come down to when you personally believe life begins. Unfortunately, that's not an easily answered question, and so there is disagreement. But that entire long-lived disagreement comes down to a very small point of contention. More importantly, each position is valid. If some small collection of cells cannot correctly be called a life, then it seems--to me--that abortion is just fine. If, on the other hand, that same collection of cells can correctly be called a person worthy of legal protections, then it seems--to me--that there are some significant issues with abortion. Certainly, the issue is much, much more complicated than that, but my point is this: we must do our best to see our opponent's side. We must try our hardest to understand their argument. We must dedicate ourselves to seeing how they reach the conclusions they reach. The goal is not to change our mind or theirs, but rather to gain an understanding and, hopefully, a respect for their opinion. That seems, to me, to be the prerequisite to resolving our political conflicts.

The second thing I'm reminded of is that you must be charitable to a person's argument. The majority of the philosophers I studied--people like Socrates, Kant, Wittgenstein, Descartes, or Hume--wrote either in a completely different language or in an antiquated form of English. Their work, therefore, was often hard to understand not only because of the concepts at play but because of the (sometimes intentional) use of obfuscatory writing. But philosophy is not a game of writing, people, or rhetoric; rather, it is a game of ideas. You cannot argue against the Theory of the Forms by showing that Plato explained it poorly. By the same token, you cannot argue against Kant's idea that all lying--regardless of purpose or scope--is wrong by showing that Kant himself lied on several occasions. In other words, you must work with the best possible argument that is consistent with the author's writing. If you can find a flaw with the ideal argument, then you've found a real flaw in the idea--and that's a true accomplishment. In other words, a good discourse should involve attacks on good arguments, not attacks on people.

One of the many posters in the law school's hallways said something to the effect that the majority of pro-life advocates were men, 100 percent of who would never risk getting pregnant. The assertions that pro-life advocates aim to oppress women or that the majority of them simply do not understand the issues involved--or are simply not qualified to voice an opinion--are themselves interesting and worthy of discussion. However, they have no direct relevance to the issue of whether abortion should be legal. We must deal with valid arguments, regardless of whether a radical feminist or a radical mysoginist articulates them.

I guess my ultimate point is that we will very rarely meet someone who holds a completely invalid opinion. The vast majority of the time, we meet people we disagree with and who's arguments have simply failed to convince us. But that doesn't make the person stupid, the argument invalide, or the discussion moot.

Ultimately, I don't think it's the disagreements that are tearing us apart, but rather the form the discussion has taken.

Posted by Ismael Tapia II at 3:36 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)| Filed under Existential Nonsense , Philosophical Rants , Political Rants , Rants About Things That Make Me Irrationally Angry , Rants on the News

The father of a veteran who's funeral was protested at by Fred Phelps's crazy church won a $10 million verdict the other day. The church defended on First Amendment grounds but it was a civil case, so I'm not really sure what the First Amendment has to do with anything--the First Amendment doesn't preclude suits for intentional infliction of emotional distress, for example. Still, I think the underlying question--whether the First Amendment protects hateful protesting at a funeral--is interesting.

As a preliminary matter, I think I should say that I don't think this kind of protest is justified, desirable, or even morally cool. But whether it or should be protected by the First Amendment is an entirely different question.

There are many reasons I think the First Amendment is a good idea, but certainly allowing for the existence of a marketplace of ideas is up there. By keeping our discourse free from idealogical barriers, we assure ourselves that all ideas will be evaluated on the basis of their merit. Good ideas will stick; bad ideas will be forgotten. That might be the ideal, but it's a really good ideal to strive for. Automatically excluding some ideas or some methods of expression should therefore only happen when there is some damned good reason to do so.

But I think that the marketplace of ideas is only part of the reason for why the First Amendment is such a good thing. I think that there is inherent value to allowing people to say whatever they happen to want to say. The freedom to speak my mind is one of my most valued freedoms. If I can't say what's on my mind because someone else--be it the government, a friend, my boss--doesn't like what I have to say, fuck them. I'm willing to accept reasonable restrictions on that--I'd probably never say "You know, fuck diversity!" during a deposition--but that's just a given. I think that it's important that our society be as open and free as possible. And I think that, in order to maintain such a society, we have to allow people to use their words and actions to speak, regardless of whether their message is moving, banal, or offensive. That's why I think the marketplace of ideas thing is inadequate: it suggests that we should only protect important speech, or speech that makes some recognized contribution to the marketplace. But I think that people have the inalienable right to make a life-size chocolate version of Jesus just because, hey, that's fucking cool, even if it pisses people off.

I don't think the government--or anyone else--has the right to condemn speech simply because they happen to think it's worthless. The whole point is to allow all ideas, not just those that someone considers to have worth. Yeah, racism is stupid, but you have the right to spew your stupid rhetoric. Yeah, homophobia is offensive, but you have the right to use the word "fag."

And, yeah, it's pretty fucking terrible to show up at a soldier's funeral and tell his father that God hated his son. And it's even worse to have big signs saying that his soul is burning in hell. And it baffles me how someone could interpret the Bible that way. But, goddamnit, this is America, and doing all of that is your fucking right.

And I wouldn't have it any other way.

Posted by Ismael Tapia II at 3:56 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)| Filed under Legal Rants , Philosophical Rants , Political Rants , Rants on the News

Seeing as how I generally offend the vast majority of the people around me and, in some cases--as we're about to see--people who have never had any direct interaction with me, I've decided that I need to start apologizing to people. Seeing as how I rarely know the people I piss off, I think this is an appropriate forum.

Now, here's the thing. L-Dawg and X-tina live downtown. There's not a lot of parking around there. Sometimes, I have to drive around their neighborhood for a good twenty minutes before I can find somewhere to park. And even when I do, it's sometimes several blocks away, which means I have to walk--and I hate walking. Sometimes--like on Badger game days--the parking is so tight that there's literally no legal place to park and my illegal spot leads to my car getting stolen. There are about three or four spaces right in front of L-Dawg and X-tina's apartment building. I fucking love those spots, Guy With the Scooter. Really, they're just so convenient. But you've just gotta fuck it up, don't you?

See, I've seen you drive your fucking scooter on that block. I watched you drive up and, instead of taking the space at the end of the block just before the driveway that was just big enough for your scooter, take the spot between two cars which could have easily accommodated the seXterra--or any other actual fucking car. I've seen the way you park it right between the two other cars so that you can taunt all the people driving by, desperately looking for a spot--even when you're not actually there. What I'm trying to say here is that I fucking hate you and I hope you die.

None of that, however, justifies urinating on your scooter's seat, which I apparently did the last time I was really drunk. You deserve an apology. And here it is: I'm sorry.

Posted by Ismael Tapia II at 3:11 AM | Permalink | Comments (5)| Filed under Apologies , Existential Nonsense , Funny Shit , Rants About Things That Make Me Irrationally Angry