Ismael Tapia II, Esq.

November 14, 2007 1:00 AM

o, I'm now officially an attorney in two different states and, as far as I can tell, I haven't started growing scales. Nor am I cold blooded. Yup, it looks like I'm still a human being rather than some sort of slimy reptile thing. Although an ambulance drove past me the other day and I was overtaken by this urge to chase it. I didn't, though.

One of the things that was really different about the Illinois and Wisconsin swearing-in ceremonies was the sheer size of the thing. In Chicago, I was sworn in with about two thousand of my new colleagues. It was a massive ceremony held in some giant sports arena type thing. It was extremely impersonal. That's to be expected, I suppose, because the Chicago metropolitan area alone has almost twice as many people as the entire state of Wisconsin.

By contrast, the Wisconsin ceremony was extremely personal and much more informal, even though it happened in the actual Supreme Court. Me and about twenty other people--only three of whom were from the UW--were sworn in by Justice David Prosser, Jr., who was extremely nice and personable. He made it a point to shake everyone's hand and ask what the person's plans are. I replied that my goal was to get a job; the Justice laughed. He also let me sit in the Chief Justice's chair and take a picture. It was pretty awesome--not to mention intimidating.

What I really liked about the Wisconsin ceremony, however, was the sense of tradition. It really felt like joining a really big club, especially when it came time to sign my name in the roll of attorneys. Apparently, every attorney ever admitted in the state has signed his or her name in one of the books, and it was a really cool feeling knowing I was doing something that people like Bob LaFollette and Jim Doyle--not to mention RPM, Bluebunny, Purple Hays, Mr. Vice, Mr. Utah, and X-tina--have done. Sure, Joe McCarthy's name is in there, too, but every club has its black sheep.

Another marked difference between Illinois and Wisconsin was the length of the Attorney's Oath. In Illinois, it consisted of only a few lines, mostly affirmations about how we will protect the state and federal constitutions and represent our clients to the best of our abilities. The Wisconsin oath is much more explicit:

I do solemnly swear:

I will support the Constituion of the United States and the Constitution of the State of Wisconsin;

I will maintain the respect due to courts of justice and judicial officers;

I will not counsel or maintain any suit or proceeding which shall appear to me to be unjust, or any defense, except such as I believe to be honestly debatable under the law of the land;

I will employ, for the purpose of maintaining the causes confided to me, such means only as are consistent with truth and honor, and will never seek to mislead the judge or jury by any artifice or false statement of fact or law;

I will maintain the confidence and preserve inviolate the secrets of my client and will accept no compensation in connection with my client's business except from my client or with my client's knowledge and approval;

I will abstain from all offensive personality and advance no fact prejudicial to the honor or reputation of a party or witness, unless required by the justice of the cause with which I am charged;

I will never reject, from any consideration personal to myself, the cause of the defenseless or oppressed, or delay any person's cause for lucre or malice;

So help me God.

I remember once in college sitting at a table at Denny's late at night talking with a couple of friends. This was long before I decided to go to law school. One of my friends had known for a long time that he wanted to go to law school, though. Somehow, the issue of what the most important profession in the country is came up. I argued that teachers were the most important. My friend argued that lawyers were. I disagreed completely and absolutely. And I still do.

Although lawyers are necessary in today's society, I think we serve more as a testament to the overcomplication of our civilization than as an example of the most important contributors to the general welfare. And it saddens me to say that some of us might be much worse than that; lawyers have a bad reputation, but it's not entirely undeserved. Still, any graduate of the UW Law School will tell you that not all attorneys are money-hungry people. And even some of the ones that are aren't that bad.

Speaking as someone who hasn't yet represented a client, argued in court, worried about billable hours, or received a paycheck, I resolve never to take my duties as an attorney--duties that I owe to my colleagues, judges, the profession, and, most importantly, my clients--lightly. Ours can be a noble profession, and I hope that I never bring shame to the name attorney because I know I'll never be ashamed to use that name.

5 Comments

Utah said:

Congratulations...if you haven't figured it out yet, being an attorney gives you the power to burn holes in things through lasers in your eyes. Be careful with that around the cats until you're in command of your new power.

I've had the "most important profession" debate in the past. I concluded attorneys are the most important. Partly because of my own ego-driven sense of importance, partly because my roommate was arguing that pharmacists were the most important, and partly because I wouldn't want to live in the lawless society that would exist in the absence of trained legal professionals.

If I were you, I'd be less concerned about bringing shame to the name of "attorney" and more concerned about bringing shame to the name of "The Postman," because you haven't watched it yet. If I were a senior law office manager, I'd be sure to ask every potential employee about the minutia of that fine movie and discuss their plans over the next ten years in the event the world converted to post-apocalyptic feudalism.

November 14, 2007 8:23 AM

Ismael Tapia II said:

Yeah, that eye thing will really get you. In the Supreme Court, you can really see where they've had to repair the wall behind the justice's bench over and over again. Because of the burn marks.

There's no fucking way that attorneys are the most important profession. That's just ridiculous. Of course, it's at least a defensible position, unlike your roommate's argument. Pharmacists count pills, for fuck's sake! God, your roommate was such a piece of shit.

November 14, 2007 9:55 AM

Dee said:

lord, who exactly posited that attorneys are most important? i would normally agree with teachers, or at least that it SHOULD be teachers. but a combination of widespread crap budgets/no child left behind have really limited the amount of good teachers can do. they are just teaching kids to pass tests, which is the least useful profession i can think of. even after telemarketing. sometimes you NEED a newspaper subsciption, man.

November 14, 2007 10:30 AM

tRJ said:

I have called it a three-way tie between teachers, doctors, and lawyers ever since I studied the rise of civilization as an undergrad. You need all three for a complex society, and each serves a vital purpose.

November 15, 2007 2:21 PM

Bluebunny said:

I have not yet signed my name in the big book of Wisconsin attorneys due to my swearing in being in IL. Maybe I should see if I can make an appointment to do that...

November 27, 2007 6:45 PM

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