<-Advice! |Main|With Apologies to Dee . . .->

Tom Cruise Is the Bat-Shit Craziest

January 17, 2008 3:52 AM

ost of you have probably seen this already, but I just think it's too funny in the creepiest possible way not to post. It's apparently a video produced by the "Church" of Scientology for internal purposes. They're apparently pissed that it got out. And with good reason, because I don't see how anyone could take them seriously after this. Not that there were any reasons to think they were legitimate before. Anyway, without further ado, I give you perhaps the craziest, creepiest person in Hollywood, which is saying a lot (incidentally, Mr. Cruise uses some jargon that I wasn't familiar with, so I looked it up. A "PTS" is a "potential trouble source." An "SP" is not a reference to The Smashing Pumpkins but is, rather, a "suppressive person."):

[The video has been removed from Youtube because the Church of Scientology's claims of copyright infringement. I'm not sure how valid those claims are, but the video's gone. It's still available at Gawker.com, however. Check it out here.]

Here are some highlights, courtesy of Us Magazine:

Being a Scientologist, when you drive past an accident... you know you have to do something about it because you know you're the only one that can really help.

So, let me get this straight. If I'm in a car accident and I'm trapped in my flipped-over SUV and there are fumes and flames and I'm fairly certain that the whole thing is about to explode and blow me the fuck up, I would be mistaken to hope that firefighters show up with the jaws of life. Instead, I should be sitting there hoping that Tom fucking Cruise shows up, because he's the only person that can really help. Like, with mind bullets or his super strength or something? What the fuck is he talking about?

Here's another one:

We are the authorities on getting people off drugs, we are the authorities on the mind, we are the authorities on improving conditions... we can rehabilitate criminals.

If I'm depressed or bipolar or addicted to drugs, I should avoid trained mental-health professionals and, instead, seek out you and your glorified tin-can machine? Of course! That totally makes sense.

I said a little while ago that a person that there are certain areas of belief that no one has any ability to contradict. I still think that's true. But there's still a point at which believing in something turns into unhealthy fanaticism. I think Mr. Cruise is well the fuck over that line. It's not that Scientologists' beliefs about, for example, Lord Xenu, are patently more ridiculous than beliefs about virgin births, it's that the Christianity doesn't encourage believers to stop talking to their family members. Scientology apparently does. And, while everyone was encouraged to tithe at the church I went to as a child, the services, ceremonies, and doctrines were free, which is absolutely not the case with Scientology, which is adamant about protecting its copyrights and making sure it gets paid. Those things--in addition to the intergalactic DC-10s--make the whole thing seem extremely fishy to me. And nearly every other sane person in the world.

Powered by TagBoard Message Board

Name URL or Email Messages(smilies)

RSS