Here is No Why

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I Have a Good Feeling About This . . . .

February 1, 2008 2:03 AM

his whole "starting our own law firm" thing really freaks me the fuck out. I think it should be pretty obvious why: starting a business is a massive undertaking in its own right, and the fact that we're novices to the whole profession only makes it more daunting. I have to admit that I was so freaked out by the whole thing that I couldn't commit to it for a while. But then I did. Sometimes you make a decision and you instantly know that you fucked it up. Sometimes you make a decision and you know right away that it was perfect. Sometimes it takes a while to figure it out.

I was in court this morning and, while I obviously won't discuss what happened there, I have to say that, as I was walking away from the courthouse, I had a moment of clarity where I knew that the decision we made--to go out on our own--was the right one.

I was afraid that I would hate criminal-law work, mostly because I've never really had an interest in it. But, fortunately, I'm finding that I really like it. I like having the one-on-one client contact, and I like that my clients refer to me as "my lawyer." I like that my clients are people with real problems, rather than companies looking to move their money around. There's honor in that work, certainly, but I love having human clients.

And I also love being in court, even if I haven't done anything too exciting yet. There's going to be a day when all of this is old hat, but right now I love the fact that I had something to do in the court building on about half of the days in the last two weeks, even if I wasn't actually in court and on the record all of those times.

Where the actual business is concerned, things are coming together and, within a week or so, we will have all of the affectations of a real law firm--business cards, an address, chairs. Oh, and a bank account or two.

I won't make six figures this year. And I probably won't next year or the year after that. But I might. It's possible, anyway. And it really doesn't matter to me, as long as I can pay my bills. What I care about is that I'm enjoying my work. I'm enjoying the responsibility. In short, I'm enjoying being a lawyer. It could be that I'd have enjoyed it just as much if I had gotten a job at an established firm. But that didn't happen. And right now, I'm glad it didn't.