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Ridiculous Shit that Happened Today

February 28, 2008 9:31 PM

irst, remember that special Best Buy was offering on Blackberrys? The one that jackass told me would be over last Friday? Well, I was at the Best Buy looking at something we need for the office today--something that was incredibly overpriced--and, just out of curiosity, I went and saw what the normal, nonsale price on the Blackberry was. To my shock, the price tag still said $79. Well, what the fuck is that, I thought. This sale was supposed to be over almost a week ago. So I asked the woman who was there if that was some sort of a mistake, and she told me that it wasn't and that, even if it was, they had to honor the price the tag said. So no help there. But then I remembered that when I saw the sale price last week, the tag was handwritten. This tag was typed out. So at some point between last week and this week, they printed out a whole new tag with the "special" price on it. Which means it's probably not the special price. Which makes me wonder what the fuck that guy was talking about. And if he was merely relaying information to me, then what the fuck is Best Buy doing?

Anyway, I'm never going to Best Buy again. Ever.

Second, after being disgusted by the Best Buy, I walked down the sidewalk in the strip mall to the Office Max or Staples or whatever to see how expensive what I needed was there. Walking from the Best Buy to the Staples means walking past an outdoorsy things store. Like, they sell kayaks and shit. Anyway, I was walking down the sidewalk, and I suddenly smelled something strange yet vaguely familiar. And then I realized that I recognized the smell: it was fucking pot! There was a very strong, distinct, pot smell outside the Gander Mountain. What the fuck? I mean, it's a suburban strip mall! Is some teenager really walking around smoking a joint in a strip mall? So, anyway, I stuck my head in the store and told the people there that I could smell the ganja. They were very perplexed, I think mostly by the fact that a guy in a suit was randomly telling them that he smelled pot.

Third, I went to the grocery store and, instead of bypassing the cashier as I usually do, I actually went to an open aisle--mostly because of the cute girl working the register. Anyway, when I got closer I realized two things: 1) she was probably under eighteen, so I'm officially a creepy old man and 2) her name tag said her name was "Laree." So I did the only thing a reasonable person could do: I said "Wait, your name is Larry? Like the cable guy?" She explained that her named is actually pronounced "luh-REE." And then she said "Although everyone always gets it wrong." I almost responded with "That's because your fucking name is pronounced "Larry" and no amount of creative idiocy on your parents' part is going to change that," but I instead said "Well, now that you've said it, I see I was wrong" or some shit.

But, seriously, Laree? What the hell?

Anyway, those were the highlights of my day.



2 Comments


tRJ said:

This from a man who got all huffy when people pronounced Ismael "Ish-mayl."

February 29, 2008 8:27 AM



Ismael Tapia II said:

Pronouncing it "Ish-Mayl" is clearly fucking incorrect. I can forgive the "mayl" part, but there's absolutely no excuse for the "Ish" part since there's no fucking "h" in my name! So the most obvious pronunciation of my name, given little or no experience with Spanish, is "Ismayl."

The most obvious pronunciation of "Laree" is "Larry," so I'm sorry this girl's parent's saddled her with such a craptastic name, but she can deal with having it mispronounced.

March 5, 2008 12:53 AM



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