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"The Sun Is the Same in a Relative Way but You're Older . . . ."

February 14, 2008 2:14 AM

ome people say that college is the best time of your life. In a lot of ways, I think that's complete bullshit. There are a lot of things about being an adult that I think are going to be awesome, assuming I ever actually grow up. First and foremost on that list is not just financial independence, but full-out financial success. I'm not one of those people that's obsessed with money, but I'd love to be able to live comfortably and afford various luxuries. That was not something I could do in college. It's not something I can do now, either. But I'm holding out hope that, someday, I'll be well-off enough to, for example, go to Europe for a couple of weeks.

Also, college is school. So there's studying and tests and classes and all of that general crap. I have lots of friends who wish they could go to school professionally, but I find the whole thing exhausting. The last time I had a "real" job was the summer before my last year of law school, and it was awesome to come home at 6 or so every night and just not think about anything. When I wasn't in the office, I wasn't thinking about work. Now that we're starting our own office, there's a lot of stuff to keep track of and worry about, so my evening hours aren't as stress free. But I make sure to get whatever I wanted to get done before 5 because after that, my mind's closed for the evening. But with school, there's always studying or writing or reading or whatever the hell else to do. It never ends. And it's an ever-present concern. At least that's what law school was like--even in moments of quiet reflection, there always seemed like there was another thing to worry about or that there was something else I should be doing.

Still, the assertion that college is the best time of your life seems eminently plausible in other respects. College--for me, and at least as compared to law school--was relatively stress free. Yeah, I went to classes and handed in papers, but I was never up until 4am working on a paper or studying for a test. Well, that's not true, but I did it very, very rarely.

And what's more, it's almost as if it was generally accepted that fun was more important than anything else. Yeah, there were times when school and various other responsibilities took precedence, but someone was almost always up for a movie, a game of disc golf, a drive around the Lake Mary off-road loop, beer pong or something. No one was married, no one had real jobs, no one had kids. Something was always happening, and there was very little keeping people from doing things.

Part of it, too, was the people. And not just the people I considered my closet friends--a group of people just smart enough to allow for extremely interesting conversations but not arrogant enough to be unable to laugh at themselves--but the sort of background characters, too. I mean, it seemed like there was a new character every week. There was always someone completely ridiculous around--people to whom the normal laws of society and physics just didn't seem to apply. Whether they were fighting moving trains and surviving or attaching potato canons to A-Team-style vans, there were just so many different kinds of people around that it was almost never boring.

I've been thinking a lot lately about whether college was the best part of my life. I think that it definitely has been so far, and that makes me sort of sad. It's not that I'm not happy where I am, it's just that it's kind of depressing to realize that the funnest part of your life is over. I mean, I'm sure that having a family and whatever else is going to be fun on some level, but I just don't see how it'll be as much pure, unadulterated gleeful joy as dragging a sled behind my car at 40 mph or watching your friend bound across a highway embankment and scale a ten-foot fence just to get to In-n-Out Burger a few minutes sooner. And I'll probably never sit in a poorly ventilated room smoking hand-rolled cigarettes listening to Doolittle until dawn again.

And that's fine, of course, because if I did do those things now, I'd be even more of a loser than I already am. And my lungs would hate me.

But maybe that's what makes me sad--I'm concerned about appearances and my lungs. And my general safety and, you know, my future.



8 Comments


estefanita said:

i know excatly what you mean.....it was a sad day for me when i turned down something fun and crazy because i realized i no longer didn't fear mortality.....

February 14, 2008 5:01 AM



Who? said:

Could be worse my friend. You could be one of those pathetic souls whose best days were in high school. I can't imagine anything worse.

February 14, 2008 1:52 PM



NT Is All In said:

The best times of my life certainly weren't college, although I had a blast. The best time of my life is right now! For the first time in my life, I have the financial security to do whatever the fuck I want to do...within reason. For example, last year I bought two season tickets to UCLA football and made a financial contribution to the athletic department to make sure that my seats were located between the 10 and 30 yard lines. Too bad the Bruins played like a high school team. I bought season tickets to the San Diego Chargers. I bought a mini plan to the LA Dodgers. This Saturday, I am flying to Vegas to see a boxing match and staying at the MGM Signature with a friend. Last year, this friend and I started our effort to visit and watch a baseball game in every stadium in the United States, much like the MasterCard guys, except we don't travel around in a VW bus. We went to Petco Park in San Diego, Dodger Stadium and Chase Field in Arizona. We are planning our East Coast trip this year to Yankee Stadium and Fenway Park. We are also planning on making trips to the Bay Area and Seattle. I went to spring training last year for the first time ever. All of this shit is possible because of my financial freedom. While doing all of this shit, I am hanging out with my best friends and my soon to be wife having the time of our lives. My friends and I share both dumb and dumber banter as well as engage in intellectual debates. I will defniitely say that there is something to be said for staying in bed every day, except for exam days, if I so choose. I did that a lot in college and law school. There is also something to be said about walking around campus and being surrounded with what appeared to be an endless amount of hot chicks. That is no longer remotely possible, but employing a balancing test, I would much rather drag my ass out of bed every morning so that I can party like a rock star in Vegas if I so choose. The truth is that I met a lot more women that I was interested in dating when I was employed than I did when I was in college and in law school. There is also no better feeling than to be able help family and friends financially whenever possible. So rest assured that you have not experienced the best years of your life yet. However, if you have, you and Al Bundy may have a lot more in common than you know. Who knows, maybe you'll share some of the best times of my life at a Brewer, White Sox and/or Cubs game in the future. Those types of experiences will surely be a part of your future and will be remembered as the best years of your life.

February 14, 2008 6:25 PM



Dee said:

Well, you are in a huge transitional phase now. when mike and i were living in tucson and trying to save our pennies, i felt really similar to the way you feel now. everything was so damn easy in college--is it all downhill from there? but now that we are doing the thing we were building toward, i still feel the same nostalgia for that time. i will never have or ask better for better friends than you guys! but i go about my days knowing that i am happier now than i was then. i know once you are used to your job you will feel the same. you guys are building your own office--that is just so awesome.

February 14, 2008 8:10 PM



pH said:

I have to agree with the "don't throw in the fun towel just yet" mentality - in my experience, something better always comes along and surprises you.

For example, in college, I was one of those sad, sad abovementioned losers who thought high school might turn out to be the best part of my life. College was really stressful for me emotionally and financially. I had to work almost full time, something was always going wrong, and for the first three years, I kind of hated it. All I could think about was how in high school, I got to party a lot, slack off, avoid work and generally be a big freak with all the other freaks who lived in my tiny-town-adjacent-to-a-slightly-less-tiny-town. Eventually I got engaged to a loser, settled down into a rut of TV dinners and Everybody Loves Raymond (for reals), and accepted that my life as I knew it was probably over.

Then I got to law school and realized I still knew how to have fun. For me, the first two years of law school were way better than college all around - the classes were more challenging, I started going out a lot again, and I found people to hang out with who also didn't think they were too old to act ridiculous (see, e.g., the Essen Haus). I had just as much fun as high school - well, more actually, by far - but doing more grown-up things.

So, I feel you on the transitional-phase thing. The last year of law school and the last almost-year since graduation have been hard and stressful for me and involved a lot of existential questions about my existence and/or future. A lot of our friends moved away, and that alone makes it hard to get our party on. But I know that once we get settled in and meet new people (and make our fortune), we will find ways to have just as much fun as (high school/college/law school), in ways that involve more cool things and less binge drinking and WoW. Now that the existential questioning is over and The Firm is starting, I strongly believe that we can make this summer the summer to top all summers, even the 2006 Summer That Ended All Previous Summers. Especially because I promise to stop being a lame, depressing, broke, angry hermit.

February 15, 2008 11:13 AM



Will said:

You got to push it—this essetinal info that is!

July 10, 2011 5:21 AM









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