Concerning Hard Things and Guitar Solos

April 3, 2008 11:35 PM

've always been sort of surprised by the things that some people thing are hard. It was strange to me in elementary school when people thought that fractions were hard. It was just as strange to me when people in college thought that trigonometry was hard. Someone once commented to me that they thought Anthropology was hard--she was getting a D and I was getting an A even though I hadn't ever read or even bought the books. Some people have said to me that they think that college would be hard. But it wasn't, really. Not in an insurmountable sort of way. And still others have commented that law school would be hard, both in the sense that it would be challenging and that it would be difficult to have that sort of commitment. But law school wasn't really hard--it was just law school.

So, some people tend to think that I've accomplished a lot of things that are hard to accomplish. But that doesn't seem true to me because everyone I know well has accomplished just as much if not more. And while things may have been frustrating and daunting at the time, I don't remember anything I've accomplished as being hard. I mean, I've done hard things and had to make hard decisions, but there's only been one time that I can remember--that fucking hike that seemed to go on for fucking ever--when I really thought the circumstances were going to beat me.

But just now, while looking at pictures of myself to send to someone, I realized that there's something that's extremely fucking hard: losing weight.

I've been big my whole life. I don't think I've ever lost a pound. I've been like a fucking black hole, gaining more and more mass but never giving any up, since the day I was born. It's not that I don't want to. It's that the whole endeavor seems so fucking impossible. I mean, law school was frustrating and sometimes terrible, but I never had much of a problem finding the motivation to be in that building for twenty hours straight. But when it comes to not having French fries, any sort of drive or will power that I have goes completely out the window.

I'm not saying it's not my fault--I've made my choices and I've paid the price. I'm just saying that it's difficult, subjectively, for me to do the things I need to do to lose some weight. And when I consider how far away any sort of acceptable figure would be, the whole thing just gets too discouraging.

Of course, just as I was writing this, I remembered that there was a time when I used to think that the second guitar solo to "Comfortably Numb" was really, really fucking hard and that it was way before me. And now I can play it almost perfectly.

So maybe I just need to get off my fat ass and practice.

1 Comments

Who? said:

I recall that when I lost my gut, the phrase, "nothing tastes as good as thin does" helped a lot. It really takes a total commitment and you'll need to work on increasing movement and decreasing consumption all at the same time, but you can do it if you want. Again though, total commitment is needed. You will need to drive yourself to the edge of an eating disorder. However, if you can drive yourself to committing 24 hours a day to law school and law review, certainly you can do the same with taking care of yourself. Also, keep in mind that it only gets harder each year you put it off. Aging is a bitch.

Also, the hardest thing for you will be the most surprising thing. Once you start losing the extra weight you've had you will probably find that family and friends do not support you. In fact, they will often try to sabotage your hard work. They will tease you and criticize you and make you feel like you've made the wrong decision. Ignore them. They are just treating you bad because they don't have the will power you are now developing. Odd though, once you are successful, you'll probably see them following your lead.

April 5, 2008 6:51 PM

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