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Grammar for Idiots, Part I

April 2, 2008 10:57 PM

n English, subjects and verbs have to agree. For example, "He runs" is correct, but "They runs" is incorrect. The latter should be "They run." When the noun is singular, as in "he runs," the verb must also be singular. When the noun is plural, as in "they run," the verb must also be plural.

Now it's going to get complicated--if you're an idiot.

You see, our language has many words for things that are really collections of other things. For example, instead of forcing us to say "a number of animals of the same species doing stuff together," English provides us with the word "herd." And, while a herd consists of many things, it is nonetheless one thing itself. It is a singular noun. Therefore, you would say "The herd is moving." If you said "The herd are moving," you would be an idiot. A big, stupid idiot.

Similarly, if you said "The team are going to engineer a new way to use a parachute," you would be a big stupid idiot. And, if you were the person in charge of writing the script for the narration on an already stupid show on the Discovery Channel, then you are not only an idiot, but you should get fired.



3 Comments


tRJ said:

To make things really interesting: are band names singular or plural? I have always treated a band name as singular, not unlike your "herd" example. So I might say "Radiohead is coming to Chicago this fall." But music journalists frequently go the plural route ("Radiohead are not coming to Wisconsin").

April 3, 2008 8:50 AM



Ismael Tapia II said:

I think the default should be to assume that band names are plural unless they're clear not. So Radiohead, Nirvana, Green Day, and Wham! are all singular but The Smashing Pumpkins, the White Stripes, the Pixies, and the Beatles are all plural.

April 3, 2008 10:14 AM



kristin said:

Do you think your decision to make some of the names you listed plural has anything to do with the article in front of the name? For example, I agree with your classification of all the listed bands as either singular or plural, but if Green Day was called Green Days, I would probably still say "Green Days is coming..." and not "Green Days are coming..." Then, to finish that thought, for some reason I can't put my finger on, I feel like I would say "The Green Days are coming..." I really think it's the "the."

April 3, 2008 9:39 PM



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