Messages to Random People

April 22, 2008 10:58 PM

irst message:
There are a lot of things you might be, but one of the things you definitely are is a raging bitch. I mean, I know it, you know it, everybody knows it. It's ok--I'm kind of an asshole. It's just the way we are. Or at least that's what I thought.

But today, out of fucking nowhere, you decided not to be a bitch and, instead, to be relatively nice. In fact, extremely nice. Why the fuck did you do that? Were you feeling bad for previously being such a huge bitch? Or do you just have some crazy bipolar thing going on?

It doesn't matter either way. Your brief moment of niceness was lame. If you're going to be a bitch, just own it. Don't wuss out. Now I hate you and I don't respect you. Which just makes me hate you more.

Second message:
You won. Congratulations. Big deal. You're still going to lose. So just give it up, ok?

Third message:
The fact of the matter is that I had my head up my ass and should have realized what was going on way earlier than I did. But now I have. So fuck off.

Fourth message:
Why would you build a barn and then let it completely fall apart over the course of several decades? That just doesn't make sense!

1 Comments

Who? said:

Is message #2 intended for a certain spouse of a certain ex-president?

April 23, 2008 8:44 AM

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