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That Was a Fucked-Up Dream

April 29, 2008 8:22 AM

've mentioned before that I don't usually have or remember my dreams. Well, last night's bizarre series of dreams makes me sort of sad about that cause I was damn entertained.

I may have forgotten some of the details or the order her, but I think you'll get the gist.

Ok, it started with Mr. Vice and I being at a park or somewhere, potentially with other people. We were walking around sort of at dusk. I know that it was a work night, so we were both thinking that it was time to get home pretty soon. Then I heard someone screaming. I turned around and saw this homeless guy screaming at me. Then I felt some pain and realized that he had actually been throwing fireballs at me somehow. Like, he had pieces of paper that he was lighting on fire and he was throwing those at me. And at everyone else, because there were more people involved now. But I was the person he was angry at. He explained that he had come to our law firm looking for help with something or other, but that I had turned him away and that his life was all fucked up because of it. And then he said that I had been un-Socratic with him. Very strange.

So, anyway, everyone's taking cover when I finally decide to call the police. But no one had a cell phone. Someone handed me something--maybe a calculator--that clearly wasn't a cell phone and I got pissed. Eventually, while hiding in some sort of alleyway, I found a cell phone and called the police, and they sent a giant armored vehicle to come dispatch of the homeless guy. And that was that.

So Mr. Vice and I decided that we were hungry. So we went to a grocery store that also made sushi. So we ordered up some sushi. Mr. Vice told them what they wanted, and then I told them what I wanted. I mentioned that I wanted some sort of special sushi or something, and the guy explained to me that ordering that kind of sushi would make the bill a little higher, and I said I was find with that, expecting the total to be somewhere in the high-twenty-dollar range. Anyway, the place said that they delivered, so we could just go home and wait and it would be about an hour. It was already getting really late, so we were stressed about not getting enough sleep before work, but we went to someone's house, anyway. And watched old TV--like Mork and Mindy, maybe?--while we waited. And waited.

Eventually, we got sick of waiting and went back to the grocery store. Our sushi was ready, and I went to pay for both of us when I was fucking shocked to see that they were trying to charge us $1,200 for our food. I went into a rage and told the guy that he was fucking out of his goddamned mind. He said that he had told me it would be a little more expensive. I told him that he could suck it. And then we left or something.

Next thing I know, Mr. Vice, pH, Mr. Morenononsense, and a friend of a friend from college--let's call him Fudd--and I are all in the seXterra. For some reason, Mr. Morenononsense is driving. And he decides that we're going to do some offroading, which is fine by me since I haven't been in a long time. So he drives onto this off-road area and we do that for a while. Then I remember that, somehow, he twists the shifter knob around and we get all confused about which way it's supposed to be, with Fudd arguing one thing and being extremely condescending to anyone who even thinks about disagreeing. And all the while, Mr. Vice, pH, and I are looking at each other realizing that it's now early afternoon and there's simply no way we're going to get enough sleep before we have to go to work.

And that was my dream, although I'm pretty sure I'm missing an entire scene in there somewhere.



1 Comments


TheExpat said:

...I'm consulting the stars in order interperet your dream...ah yes, the cosmic influence upon your subconscious are unravelling, becoming clearer...yes, a theme, constantly repeated throughout your existence...here it is, it's...it's...bad customer service. You should buy less stuff.

April 30, 2008 12:16 AM



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