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"Disarm You With a Smile."

May 10, 2008 1:37 AM

remember the first time I heard The Smashing Pumpkins' "Disarm."

I had recently fallen head over heels for Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness, but I had yet to venture out and explore more of the Pumpkins' work. This was due partly to the fact that I was afraid of being disappointed but also because I didn't know what else they had done--I was completely new to the whole "listening to music" thing. Still, my friend Kenny--who had introduced me to the Pumpkins to begin with--kept mentioning another album the Pumpkins had done that had some awesome songs on it. He also mentioned that one of those songs had a video where some kids built a spaceship, went to another planet, and found Billy and crew playing there. I was intrigued.

Still, the actual album kept eluding me until one day Kenny produced his sister's old cassette version of Siamese Dream. I remember standing in Kenny's family's living room with Kenny and my other friend Luis as Kenny put the tape in and queued up first "Rocket" and then "Disarm." I remember that the stereo was really crappy and the tape was very old and worn so the songs were hard to hear clearly, but I remember being transfixed again. "I used to be a little boy so old in my shoes, what I choose is my voice. What's a boy supposed to do? Killer in me is the killer in you. Send a smile over to you." I fell in love with the band all over again.

Eventually, Siamese Dream would become my clear favorite Pumpkins album. In terms of straight-ahead rock and emotional content, it is approached only by Pisces Iscariot. And while Mellon Collie might have a higher number of unbelievable songs, Siamese Dream has a higher amazing-to-not-amazing ratio.

Anyway, I have a perfect memory of the first time I heard "Disarm," and I have a feeling that I'm going to remember the latest time I heard the song for a very, very long time, too.

2 Comments

estefanita said:

i was the other way around. i listened to disarm first and fell in love and then listened to mellon collie. and though i'll always love all of mellon collie and siamese dream and gish and all the others i think my favorite has always been mayonaise....

May 10, 2008 3:26 AM

tRJ said:

Oh, it all makes sense now! You got into the band backwards, which explains your disproportionate love for Melon Collie.

The first time I heard them, it was the song "Rhinoceros" on the radio. I liked it, and started keeping an eye out for them on MTV. Then I saw the video for "Siva" which features two (uneventful) seconds of D'arcy in a bathtub. Man, for a seventh-grader, that was hot.

I didn't really get into them, though. They had too much competition that year (Nevermind, Ten, Badmotorfinger). I really got into Siamese Dream, which led me to rediscover Pisces Iscariot. And then Melon Collie came out, with it's strings and moody weirdness. I have since learned to love it, but at the time I thought Billy Corgan had lost a testicle.

May 10, 2008 9:31 AM