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I Like it in Flyover Country, Thank You Very Much

May 20, 2008 12:05 AM

s you all probably know, I grew up in Arizona. Whether that constitutes the "West Coast" is open to debate, and I really don't care. But, in any event, I spent lots of time in Los Angeles when I was a kid, so I feel qualified to comment on various things about the region. For example, it fucking sucks. But, aside from that, it is clear to me that, at least compared to people from Los Angeles, people from Wisconsin are almost unbelievably nice.

Some of the people I love most are from L.A., but that doesn't change the fact that people from L.A. are about the fakest, most arrogant, most self-centered, most uncaring people I've ever met. Even the people I'm related to--people I know to be selfless and caring almost to a fault when it comes to their family members--are sometimes shockingly callous towards strangers. The difference between that attitude and the one that pervades Wisconsin is striking.

One of the places I first noticed it was at my local grocery store. When I first moved here, I was understandably confused about where everything in that store was. So I'd walk up and down the aisles with what must have been a look of obvious confusion on my face. And almost invariably, some employee would walk up to me and ask what I was looking for. This happened several times with several different people, from stock boys to branch managers. Anyway, every time I told them what I was trying to find, they said "follow me!" and lead me directly to what I needed. And they always started up a pleasant little conversation with me and wished me a good day. It was refreshing, frankly.

Of course, it's not just at the grocery store. It seems like everywhere I go, I'm surrounded by people who genuinely want, if not to help you, then at least to avoid hurting you. On our big road trip across America, this manifested itself in sort of a strange way. We had to ask for help at several points along the way, and as we drove East, people went from refusing to help to going out of their way to being extremely helpful--even to the point of apparently making up directions rather than telling us they couldn't help. I mean, yeah, that's fucked up, but their hearts were in the right place. Or something.

Anyway, based on my admittedly limited experience, I am completely confident in saying that anyone who claims that people from the West Coast are nicer than people from Wisconsin are stupid. Very, extremely stupid.

I'm just sayin'.



4 Comments


tRJ said:

You are definitely right about the West Coast, especially L.A. For my taste, Midwesterners are a little too stubborn, in an I-have-to-be-right kind of way. But they're definitely nicer than West Coast jackasses.

May 20, 2008 8:32 AM



Tommy Lasorda said:

I posit that Arizona does not qualify as the West Coast due to the simple fact that Arizona lacks a coastline.

Sincerely,

Your fake, arrogant, self-centered and uncaring reader from the City of Angels

ps

Go Dodgers!

May 20, 2008 12:30 PM



Ismael Tapia II said:

Oh please. Arizona's lack of a coastline does not necessarily disqualify it from being included in the broad term "West Coast" which, as far as I'm concerned, has more to do with culture than it does with geography. I mean, even Wikipedia agrees, so there. Granted, Arizona is not "as much" the West Coast as California, but spend an hour in Tempe and tell me that it's not at least the West Coast's annoying, tag-along friend.

My larger point stands, however: people from the West Coast are, generally speaking, much more likely to be jackasses than people from the Midwest. In my admittedly limited experience, Midwesterners care more about the plight of their fellow man than people from California. That's not to say that bleeding-heart liberal types don't care about what happens to people generally, but I think Midwesterners are more likely to help their neighbors move, for example. Californians care in an abstract sense--they don't want racism, sexism, disease, and various other bad things bringing people down. But Midwesterners care in more concrete terms, I think. They'll help you jump start your car or whatever.

That's all I'm saying.

May 22, 2008 12:36 PM



The Governator said:

Fair enough. If I need a jump start (or whatever), I will look for some pasty Midwesterner in a Packers jersey to help me out (and then not thank them for their assistance).

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to jump in my oversized Benz, take my poodle to the groomer and then get my chest waxed.

See you at the beach!

May 23, 2008 1:21 AM



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