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Weezer (The Red Album)

June 10, 2008 11:13 PM

s I said, I was pretty apprehensive about the release of Weezer's new album. In fact, I had completely forgotten that it was supposed to come out last week. Forgotten, that is, until Mr. X called me up and reminded me. At his insistence--and on his recommendation--I went out and bought the thing. And I've been listening to it nonstop since.

In broad terms, it is simultaneously a very typical Weezer album and something completely new. I say that it is typical because it has all of the elements we've come to expect from Weezer albums good and bad: it's got cheesy lyrics, numerous references to various elements of nerd and popular culture, catchy hooks, and an awesome guitar tone. It's also very similar to The Blue Album and Pinkerton and dissimilar from The Green Album, Maladroit, and Make Believe in that it features acoustic guitars; awesome vocal harmonies and performances; and intricate, complex, nonobvious lead guitar parts. But I say that it's completely new because these various elements are often combined in unexpected ways. And there's also stuff here that Weezer hasn't really tried before. For example, while Maladroit featured some rock-rap-inspired guitar parts, Rivers Cuomo never actually tried rapping. That's not the case here--an entire verse in one song is pseudo-rapped.

So here's the rundown of what I think of each of the songs so far.

Troublemaker
This is a great opener. I was very nervous when I put the CD into the seXterra's stereo. Then this song came right on and I started nodding my head, tapping my foot, and smiling. That's a damn good sign, I think. The song is catchy but also not entirely frivolous. It reminds me of "The Good Life" in many ways, and I think the themes in the two songs are also related.

A lot of people defend The Green Album on the basis that it's "fun," which it sort of is. But this song is more fun and infectious than anything on that album and definitely an excellent opening track.

4 out of 5.

The Greatest Man That Ever Lived (Variations on a Shaker Hymn)
This song features just about every musical style ever. It literally goes from a gentle piano opening to a ridiculously gangsta-bravado-filled rap--which features lyrics about mages and magic and police-siren sound effects--to an extremely rap-metal section, to an acoustic, falsetto portion, to a beautiful Gregorian chant portion. And that's just the first two minutes. The rest of the song flows from classic Weezer to Beach Boys-like vocal portions to straight-out punk. The vocal performances throughout are astounding. And it all fucking works amazingly well.

The song is very reminiscent of the medleys on Green Day's American Idiot in that they mash together a bunch of different genres at different tempos, but I think this song is more successful than either of Green Day's songs because Weezer isn't really trying to tell a story, they're trying to make a point--that Rivers Cuomo is the greatest man that ever lived.

In my opinion, this is clearly the best song on the album and one of Weezer's best ever.

5 out of 5.

Pork and Beans
Regardless of what Mr. Morenononsense thinks, I like this song, although it is a step down from the first two tracks. I have to say that I'm already borderline burned out on this one, but I listened to it a lot before that happened. I also miss the lightsaber sound effects from the video on the album track.

It's not as good as the first two tracks, but it's still very decent. If I allowed myself to give half stars, I'd give this one 3.5. Seeing as how I don't allow myself to do that, though, I'll round up.

4 out of 5.

Heart Songs
I didn't like this song very much at first, and I was very put off by the title--Billy Corgan wrote a song with Zwan called "Heartsong" that was extremely mediocre but repeated the phrase "heart songs" over and over again. Still, the idea of this song--it's a ballad about how you just connect with some songs--really started to grow on me after repeated listenings. While the chorus still seems sort of forced and artificial to me, I find the verses really touching. There are shades of "In the Garage" here, only Mr. Cuomo admits listening to Debbie Gibson and Rob Base and DJ E-Z Rock instead of listening to KISS and playing with twenty-sided dice. I particularly love the crescendo accompanying the verse about Nirvana. Here are the lyrics:

Back in 1991
I wasn't havin' any fun
'Till my roommate said "Come on" and put a brand new record on
Had a baby on it
He was naked on it
Then I heard the chords that broke the chains I had upon me
Got together with my bros
In some rehearsal studios
Then we played our first rock show and watched the fan base start to grow
Signed the deal that gave the dough
To make a record of our own
The song come on the radio
Now people go "this is the song"

I really, really like that part.

4 out of 5.

Everybody Get Dangerous
Eh. This song is sort of... blah. I mean, it's not terrible, it's not great, it's just there. There actually is some interesting stuff going on here, but the overall feel and flow just doesn't stand up to the first few tracks. Whereas all the new and disparate elements in the first few songs seemed cool, here they just seem like overpriced decorations in a mobile home, if that makes any sense. It's like the band knew they had a mediocre song but wanted to keep it anyway, so they added some crap to it. The result, unsurprisingly, is unconvincing.

3 out of 5.

Dreamin'
This song is better than "Everybody Get Dangerous," but not by much. There's sort of an interesting breakdown section--again with the new song forms--but it's not really compelling. And it actually sort of sucks the life out of what might otherwise be a passable if disposable old-school Weezer song. After numerous listenings, the album really starts to drag at this point.

3 out of 5.

Thought I Knew
Wait a minute, that doesn't sound like Rivers! Oh, wait, that's because it's not. It's the other guitarist. Huh? Why would they let him sing? He can't fucking sing! This song reminds me of "Take Me Down" from Mellon Collie in that it's a relatively generic song whose only claim to fame is that it's sung by someone other than the band's acknowledged lead singer. But while "Take Me Down" serves as a fairly good closer for the pink CD, this song is just sort of there. And it has synthetic drums, which sound extremely synthetic. All in all, this song is not a total failure, but it's pretty not good.

2 out of 5.

Cold Dark World
Jesus, now who's singing? Oh, the fucking bassist? But he joined the band, like, five minutes ago! And he's fucking terrible. And more than that, he's fucking creepy. This song is fucking creepy. And the bassist's delivery is . . . creepy. Check out some of the lyrics:

I'm not like the others; I'll be like a brother
I will protect you, never disrespect you
But if you love then I'll be here to sex you

What? Isn't it a cardinal rule of writing about wanting to fuck someone that you don't mention that you'll be like her brother? Not only is the song creepy because it's about some guy stalking some girl, it's creepy because he says he wants to both be like her brother and fuck her. This is the worst song yet.

2 out of 5.

Automatic
Eh. This is sort of ok song. I forget that it exists, actually. There's nothing particularly interesting about it. Still, listening to it now, it's not terrible. It's just not memorable. I don't have any idea what any of the words are, and I'm sure I've heard this thing twenty times now. It is the definition of mediocre.

3 out of 5.

The Angel and the One
One of the things that's really pissed me off about Weezer's last three albums is that they've really been phoning in the closing track. Closing tracks are an excellent opportunity to do something sincere, slow, and touching. Weezer wrote what is almost definitely one of the all-time best closing tracks for The Blue Album--"Only in Dreams" is fucking nearly perfect not only as a closing song but as a song generally. They had a tough act to follow on Pinkerton, and they delivered "Butterfly," which is another amazing depressing song, and another one of my favorite Weezer tunes. Then things sort of went down hill. The Green Album had "O Girlfriend," which wasn't terrible but which nonetheless fell victim to all the same things that plagued that album. Maladroit had "December," which was a fucking epic fail of a closing song. Fucking terrible. I couldn't even remember what it sounded like until just now. And I'm sure that "Make Believe" had a song that came last, but I don't fucking remember anything about it. In fact, I just put it on, and I have no memory of ever having heard this song before, although it actually doesn't sound terrible.

Anyway, "The Angel and the One" is clearly the third best closing song on Weezer albums. Given the awesomeness of two and the terribleness of three, though, that's not really saying much. It's a slow sort of thing with lyrics about regret and whatnot, and the guitar work is pretty decent. It's not disposable, and it definitely serves to close out the album and give that sense of finality, nostalgia, and regret that I like about "Only in Dreams" and "Butterfly." And it's a decent song generally.

4 out of 5.

So, in the end, the album is not a complete disappointment and, at least through the first few songs--and especially "The Greatest Man that Ever Lived"--is pretty good. But it falls apart in the middle and never really recovers, even if the closer is pretty good. To this day, there aren't any songs on The Blue Album or Pinkerton that I would skip, but I'd skip about half of this album. I'd take that over those other three CDs any day, though. I can't remember ever having the desire to put on Make Believe, but I know that I'll want to listen to at least a few of these songs every now and then.

So Weezer has failed to completely redeem themselves, but this is a much better way to go out--if this is, in fact, their last album--than their previous effort. And that's not an entirely bad thing.

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