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I'd Totally Still Do Her, Though

July 17, 2008 2:41 AM

ayden Panettiere, the cheerleader from Heroes, is totally hot. She also apparently risks her life to save dolphins. And although she's a rich teenager in Hollywood, I haven't seen anything about how she's spending her nights doing blow off of guys' cocks in skeazy West Hollywood clubs. And, as near as I can tell, she hasn't nearly killed anyone with her car. Oh, and she's not the worst actress I've ever seen.

So, you know, she's got some things going for her. What she does not have going for her is musical talent. Check out her music video:

Now, unlike "Popozao," which was the best bad thing that's ever happened, this thing is just bad. I actually couldn't make it through the whole video despite the appealing visuals. This is perhaps the most embarrassing celebrity attempt at crossing over.

Which brings me to my point: why the fuck do all these people think that they have to be famous for everything? It used to be that being a famous singer or a famous movie star was enough, but now every one of the stars thinks that because they've been moderately successful at one thing, they'll be successful at another. Or, worse yet, that because they're moderately talented at one thing, they can do anything. I mean, even Lindsay Lohan released an album.

This is all bullshit. Look, if you're an actress, act. If you're a singer, sing. And if you're not good enough at any one thing to support a career, you have two choices: give up and pack it in or drag it out for as long as possible and wait to get spit out the bottom of the soft-core porn industry. It's pretty much a win-win for me.



4 Comments


JLee said:

I know what you're saying. Like they don't have enough damn money! I don't think she's a bad singer, I just don't like that song really. Maybe a different song or style would work possibly.

July 17, 2008 10:26 PM



Anonymouse said:

You can't just reference popozao and then not link to a video of it. That's just wrong.

July 17, 2008 11:16 PM



Ismael Tapia II said:

JLee,
I mean, no, she's not a bad singer. But there are plenty of not bad singers in the world that don't have recording contracts and music videos. I mean, you're a way better singer than her. So why does she have a record deal and not you? It's all nonsense.

Also, I don't know why they chose to do some vague reggae thing with the song. That makes it not only bad but also confusing.

Anonymouse,
You're right. Here it is: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TxXLp-2J3wI

It's even worse-better than I remember. I just can't believe what an unbelievable douchebag he is. How could anyone--ANYONE--take that man seriously?

July 18, 2008 4:46 PM



Utah said:

At least I'm going to remember the lyrics to popozao. "In portugese it means bring that ass." And to think, that man just won permanent sole legal custody of actual children.

I completely agree with your point...celebrities should stick to the thing they're famous for. Just because Wayne Gretzky is probably the greatest player in the history of hockey doesn't mean he should do a buddy cop flick with Damon Wayans. Why then are we forced to listen to Paris Hilton on the radio?

July 18, 2008 8:45 PM



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