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The Two Things I Miss About the West Coast

July 13, 2008 3:40 AM

n my darker moments, I have to admit that there are times when I crave McDonald's. I don't know what it is, but sometimes I just need that fried pseudo-food. I imagine it's what a heroin addict feels like. Last night, for example, L-Dawg and I saw someone eating a Chicken McNugget on TV, and we developed a deep-seated need for them. So we started talking about making a giant pile of McNuggets and french fries, and then we ended up actually getting some McNuggets and realized that they're way inferior to the nuggets at Wendy's.

But, though I sometimes crave McDonald's, my need for In-N-Out is ever-present. In-N-Out is, by far, the best fast-food food out there. It's fresh, tasty, and just plain good. It's not healthy by any means, but it's also not artificial or processed or whatever. And it's still consistent--consistently good. In college, my friends and I had an unreasonable--some would say unhealthy--obsession with In-N-Out. In fact, Mr. Morenononsense has missed at least one transcontinental flight due entirely to In-N-Out. And, from what I hear, it was worth it.

But while In-N-Out is my fast-food wife, I have to admit that I also miss my fast-food booty call: Jack in the Box. There's almost nothing better at 3am after a long night of drinking than two orders of tacos, two orders of bacon-cheddar potato wedges, and a sourdough jack. If I'm going to die young, I want it to be because I had too much cheddar and fried food stuck in my mouth, and Jack in the Box makes that goal easy.

I'd kill someone for a double-double and some animal fries right now.

5 Comments

Dee said:

sometimes jack in the box was a big heartache though. remember when we went to the drivethru at 3 am (en route to sunrise at the grand canyon) and they wouldn't serve us because they were washing the floor? like, the floor INSIDE? AND they once had glorious mozerella sticks, then they discontinued them. sometimes at 4 am, there is a void that can only be filled by fried cheese.

July 14, 2008 10:58 AM

Laurie said:

I love In-and-Out. Hell, I would give anything for a Steak and Shake here. Something other than BK and McD.

July 14, 2008 4:04 PM

TheExpat said:

First a shout out: Hey Laurie!

Ismael, you remind me of a particular run to Jack in the Crack when we got stuck in some time flux and ended up waiting for 30 minutes in the drive-thru while Frank, unperturbed by your blind rage, continued serenading us with is own revision of The Time's modern-day classic, Jungle Love.

Frank: "I wanna meetcha greetcha..."

You: "SHUT THE FUCK UP! NO ONE WANTS YOUR JUNGLE LOVE!"

Good times.

July 15, 2008 10:41 AM

Ismael Tapia II said:

Dee,
Wow, I had completely forgotten about that whole excursion. Wasn't that crazy guy Ian with us? That dude was ca-razy. And in love with you.

But yes, I do remember the Jack in the Box disaster that started that whole trip--and it was total fucking bullshit.

Laurie,
I will grant you that Steak 'n' Shake is better than McD and BK, but I sort of think it's overrated. I mean, it's good, but it's not great.

TheExpat,
Just to clarify, I don't think that the Laurie who's here is the Laurie you're thinking of, assuming that you're thinking of the Laurie I think you're thinking of. In short, I don't think the Laurie that commented above you was on that sunrise trip to the Grand Canyon. Which isn't to say that the Laurie who's here isn't welcome--I'm just saying.

As for that Jack trip, god, I fucking hate that song, and Frank's version was even worse. As much of a child as Frank was when he was stone-cold sober, he was borderline intolerable when he was drunk and energetic. And by "borderline intolerable," I of course mean "totally fucking awesome in a looking back on it sort of way."

July 15, 2008 5:59 PM

tRJ said:

1. I am not even from the West Coast and I miss In-and-Out. Had it once, the one time I went to LA, and it was freaking awesome.

2. Madison had a Steak n Shake when I moved here. Its closure devastated me.

July 16, 2008 4:21 PM