Concerning Fairness and Power

August 6, 2008 11:34 PM

'm sure that any of my relatives would be able to tell you about how I reacted to things that I thought were unfair when I was a kid. I would cry. But I would also tremble with anger. My fists would be clenched as tight as possible. My face would turn into a hideous scowl. I would be inconsolable.

Yeah, I was a terrible child to deal with, but here's what was going on in my head. I hated being treated unfairly. Or, rather, I hated being treated in a way that seemed unfair at the time. Looking back on it now, I was treated unfairly very rarely by my family and almost never by my mother. But that's not the point. The point is that when I was a kid--as, I imagine, was the case when you were all children--I thought that there was some mandate in the Universe that things be fair. And if I screwed up and I got punished, well that's cool because that was only fair. But how was it fair that I saved up my money for fucking ever and then didn't even get to buy the pirate ship I wanted? That's just not fair at all! Bad things can happen within the confines of fairness, but once something happened outside of those boundaries, all bets were off, I thought.

But that's not the only thing that lead to my somewhat amusing reaction to injustice. I also hated the feeling of complete powerlessness that almost always accompanied perceived slights against me. It wasn't just that something unfair had happened, it was that I couldn't do anything about it.

Like I said, I think everyone has this idea of fundamental fairness when they're a kid. But as we grow up we learn that the world isn't fair and we start to lose sight of that fairness idea. Well the world certainly isn't fair, but I've never thought that this fact justifies further unfairness. If the world isn't fair, then it seems to me that it's our responsibility to make it as fair as possible, not add to the unfairness. That's always made sense to me.

But the thing that I hadn't realized until an unpleasant conversation I had today during which I felt like that little kid with his fists clenched and tears streaming down his face is that I do have some measure of power now. It's not a great amount of power, and it's almost certainly not enough to make any sort of difference. But I can try, right?

So that's what I'm going to do.

4 Comments

Valerie said:

Well you know what I think about that situation. Fuck assholes and absurd people anyway. This is the least insightful comment ever. I lack insight. And brain waves. I am going home now.

August 7, 2008 6:26 PM

dani said:

Ok, so you have said in two posts in a row that you cannot make a difference. Who sold you that load of crap? Do you think the pervert named Miranda raped a girl thinking that his arrest and trial would make a difference in out arrest procedures? Do you think that Mrs Bin Laden thought she would ever make a difference in this world as a woman in a male dominated culture? Do you think that a little girl named Amber that was kidnapped thought she would make a difference in the lives of other kidnapped children by becoming inspiration for someone to create the Amber alert?
Differences are made when least expected - sometimes by positive choices, negative action or even given life to another human who may in turn change things. Making a difference in one person's life can have a domino effect on every other person who comes into contact with that man/woman.
There is great book called Social Intelligence that I recommend you read. Some times the differences we make are not on a cosmic scale but they make a difference none the less.

August 8, 2008 12:09 AM

dicta said:

life is unfair. the best we can do is find ways to either rectify the situation or to prevent similar situations in the future. as children we were powerless. now we're mostly powerless, but have a better idea of ways to try to shift the balance of power, even if the shift is minimal.

the only way this comment can compete with dani's is if you imagine a star-swipe and that "the more you know" music as you read (re-read) it.

August 9, 2008 7:18 PM

Lauren said:

Hear hear for Dani!

August 10, 2008 7:35 PM

Leave a comment

Name

Email Address

URL

Remember personal info?

Comments (You may use HTML tags for style)

Captcha:

Type the characters you see in the picture above.