Sometimes things seem to gel really nicely. I'm prepared and on top of things and I walk away from them feeling accomplished and proud of myself.

Today was not one of those days. Today I felt like things might fall apart at any given second. There were a million different things happening that each required my attention like, right now. And though I did everything that needed to get done--and did it fairly well, if I do say so myself--I still feel like I was *this close* from having everything fall apart. And that's a scary feeling. And it stressed me out.

One of the things I've been marveling at lately is how comfortable I feel doing some of the things that I have to do as a practicing lawyer. Minor court appearances are no big deal. They never were, really. Even more contentious appearances don't freak me out. Which is both good and bad. It's good because I'm more at ease, but it's bad because familiarity breeds overconfidence.

In that context, then, I guess that it's nice to have days like today that totally throw me for a loop, stress me out, and keep me on my toes.

And while all of that's going on, the weather has suddenly changed a lot. Even just this weekend it was cool and sunny. But now it's chilly and cloudy. It seems really abrupt, although it wasn't, really.

So, anyway, not the best day. And tomorrow's going to be more of the same, I think. But I'll get over it.

Posted by Ismael Tapia II at 11:56 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)| Filed under Existential Nonsense , Life Sucks Sometimes

Despite the recent lack of posts on the subject, I am as devoted a Heroes fan as ever. While the end of season one was was an unmitigated failure and the whole of season two was even worse, the third season is off to a good start. So I'm going to resume my Monday night Heroes posts.

During the hiatus after season two, Mr. Vice, pH, and I made a lot of jokes about how we really hoped that the producers would come back this season and largely ignore season two. As it turns out, they did almost exactly that. None of the three of us could remember very much at all about "Generations" (Volume II) and, as it turns out, that doesn't seem to matter at all. Many of the characters and themes that made that season such an uncompelling mess--Peter's Irish girlfriend, that girl who could learn how to do things really quickly, that fucking virus, and various other things I can't even remember--are entirely irrelevant to the new episodes. And that's good. Also very, very good is the reduced number and prominence of The Mexicans, the return of Sylar's abilities, and the pseudo-death of Nikica. I mean, as Mr. Vice pointed out, it is sort of a Landfill moment (If you haven't seen Beerfest, watch it now), but Tracy Strauss is way cooler than Niki or Jessica ever were.

Still, there are some downsides. First, I miss Molly. She was cute and I want her to come back. Although, really, I guess it would have sort of bogged things down to have people babysitting her. Oh, wait. That did happen. In Season Two. And it did bog things down. Huh. I guess it's a good thing Molly was "hidden" and her absence explained by two lines of dialogue. Now let us never speak of her again, apparently. Oh yeah, and that reminds me: remember when Mohinder used to be cool? That seems like a long time ago, doesn't it? He's a fucking turbo-douche at this point. I almost think he deserves to have wacky gross shit growing out of his back. But the biggest downside so far is that Elle, played by Kristin Bell, the cutest girl this side of anything, has a greatly diminished role. Such bullshit.

As for the actual storyline, it's decent so far. Although there are still a thousand different things going on, it's all relatively coherent and none of the storylines seem as disjointed or boring as, say, The Mexicans did last season. The writers have, so far, done a very good job of putting the characters in new and interesting situations, thereby forcing them to adapt, while still making them believable. Claire's decision to seek revenge against Sylar by going after him and the other villains seems both credible in her current context and consistent with everything else we know about her, for example.

Similarly, the relationship between Noah Bennett and Sylar is interesting. Their animosity is sort of entertaining and, of course, there's the fact that they'll probably try to kill each other at the first chance they get. Or, well, maybe Sylar doesn't want to kill Noah, but you never know with Sylar.

Less interesting--or rather far too predictable--is the notion that Sylar is Peter and Nathan's brother. Parentage revelations are rarely cool and, since we do live in a post-Empire Strikes Back world, rather cliche. I also don't like things like that because they tend to make the show's world too small. Like, in the Star Wars prequels, we're supposed to believe that Anakin built C-3PO, and then, twenty years later, that very same droid somehow came into the hands of his son. And Yoda knew Chewbacca a long time ago. I mean, it all seems too coincidental and forced. Same thing here, I thought. But I'll give it a shot.

The overall story seems ok--although I am extremely annoyed that they're using the "I went to the future and saw some disaster, so no I'm going back to the past so that we can stop the disaster" device again. I mean, again again. Really? Yup.

All in all, though, I'm a happy camper. Nothing this season has approached the level of the middle of the first season, but the show has already done a lot to cleanse the bad taste it left in my mouth after the abysmal first-season finale and the terrible second season. So, here's hoping Heroes starts kicking ass again.

Posted by Ismael Tapia II at 12:50 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)| Filed under Existential Nonsense , Heroes , Movie Reviews

Stupid Wisinconsin Bager. Stupid, stupid Bager.

Posted by Ismael Tapia II at 6:21 PM | Permalink | Comments (7)| Filed under Existential Nonsense , Life Sucks Sometimes

You know, sometimes life seems like a constant stream of disappointments and letdowns. I know that my life has certainly felt like that in the past month or so. I can't really explain how much I hate getting excited about something and then having it fail. What sucks the absolute most is when you try to keep your excitement under control, when you spend all your time analyzing and rethinking the entire situation because you've been let down so much in the past that you don't even want to start getting excited unless you're pretty sure you've actually got good reason to do so. And then you start to get excited. And then everything falls apart and you're left with a big disappointing mess. Yeah, that's sucks.

That's why I'm so fucking glad that TheExpat was wrong and the Renaissance Festival was fucking awesome. Despite his doom-and-gloom predictions, there were plenty of hot chicks in corsets, the turkey legs were gigantic, and the jousting was... a giant bucket of fail. But, hey, two out of three ain't bad!

So, I thought that the fair would happen out in some open field or some shit. As it turns out, I was wrong. There are actually permanent structures out there, the most prominent of which was the motherfucking castle:

I got pretty excited right when I saw this thing. I mean, it's a motherfucking castle! And there were plenty of people in costume around, and when you walk in, some woman hands you a map and calls you "m'lord." How fucking cool is that?

Anyway, so we walked around and saw that there were tons of performers and vendors and shit. And lots of people in costume. And a good proportion of those people were hot chicks in awesome outfits. I didn't take any pictures of them, though, for fear that some sword-wielding knight wannabe would stab me. Because there were tons of people in costume--not as many as I would have liked, but still a good number. Oh, and capes were in full effect, so I was definitely a fan of that. We resolved to dress up next year, and I'm wearing a cape like a motherfucker.

So I was having a damned good time just walking around watching all there was to watch. There was this group of singers that sounded really, really awesome. They were all dressed up in period costumes and whatnot. And one of the guys had beautiful hair--and no, I'm not gay.

Anyway, we soon found out a few things. First of all, mead kicks ass. And second, the turkey legs are giant and apparently worth the wait. I wouldn't know because I don't like turkey legs, so I didn't have one. But all the other males did, and they seemed to like them:

The thing I wasn't expecting about the Renaissance Festival was that it's like a giant mall. There are tons of people there selling completely ridiculous stuff. I mean, swords, puffy shirts, corsets, old-school mugs--pretty much anything that you'd imagine you'd need if you wanted to travel back in time to the Renaissance and fit right in. Although I usually hate shopping, I really wanted to look at all the different hand-made stuff. Most of it was completely fucking awesome, if a little on the entirely impractical side. It took a lot of effort not to blow $30 on a letter opener (read: dagger).

A lot of the stuff was really, really cool and appropriately expensive. This ensemble, for example, costs about $1,200. And I mean, yeah, you'd have the best Halloween costume ever, but $1,200? Crazy.

As you'd expect, there was a lot of random crazy shit, too, although very few White Supremecists. But there was a girl standing on top of a half-man.

And a turtle that had been conscripted to hauling duty. Fucking adorable.

So, all in all, the Renaissance Festival kicked fucking ass and I want to go back next year. Also, Minnesota gets two thumbs up as far as I'm concerned.

Posted by Ismael Tapia II at 10:44 PM | Permalink | Comments (6)| Filed under Existential Nonsense , Fun Shit I've Done , Hanging Out With My Friends , Reviews , Things I'm Irrationally Attached To

Ok, Charter Guy. I grudgingly admit that I owe you an apology. See, I may have been on hold with Charter for literally an hour and a half that night. And your company may have been completely incorrect about everything you told me. And it is absolutely the case that three different people told me three different stories about when my service would get fixed before you got on the phone. And it's true that the person I spoke to immediately before you barely spoke English but still managed to convey a level of condescension and derision that not even I at my most spiteful can convey. And there's the fact that everyone I spoke to kept saying how sorry they were when they clearly were both entirely unsorry and utterly incapable of actually helping me. But, looking back on it, none of that excused my behavior.

See, it probably wasn't cool to give you an ultimatum. And, in retrospect, that wasn't the most intelligent bargaining strategy on my end. It was wrong of me to react to your rejection of my ultimatum by demanding to speak to the CEO of Charter Communications, who you claimed to be authorized to speak for. It was rude of me to refer to Charter as "the most incompetent company in the history of the universe" and to suggest that your customer service was worse than what one would expect from a drug-addled whore. That was all bad enough.

But I now see that calling you, personally, a complete and total failure of a human being may have been a tad over the top.

Still, you were a jerk and your company sucks. But now I'm with a different company, and DSL is almost as fast as your cable, anyway. I still don't know what I'm going to do about TV, though. But whatever. Fuck you.

And I'm sorry.

But mostly fuck you.

Posted by Ismael Tapia II at 11:49 PM | Permalink | Comments (8)| Filed under Apologies , Existential Nonsense , Funny Shit

One of the things I have always wanted to do but have not yet done is go to a Renaissance Fair. Seriously. They seem like a shit load of escapist fun, like Civil War reenactment but, you know, less queer. So here are some of the things I'm looking forward to seeing. I have no doubt that these things will be there in abundance because Renaissance Fairs are authentic reproductions of Medieval times, and these things existed in abundance in Medieval times.

First, I expect there a shit ton of hot chicks in corsets. I expect to see skinny girls with massive boobs spilling out the tops of their shirts everywhere I look. It's going to be awesome.

I'm fairly certain there will be giant turkey legs. I'm talking about obscenely large turkey legs. Like mutant turkey legs. Because they had genetically engineered turkeys in, umm, the 1500s. Or whenever the fuck the Renaissance happened.

I also fully expect to see people jousting. I expect dudes in shiny armor to make their horses run at each other full speed while pointing sharp spears at each other. And I expect them to possibly die.

Finally, I expect to see people getting way into the Renaissance Fair thing. I'm not sure yet whether I will judge them or admire their dedication. Probably a mixture of both.

In any event, I'll be gone for the weekend. But I'll post pictures when I get back.

Posted by Ismael Tapia II at 11:37 PM | Permalink | Comments (7)| Filed under Existential Nonsense

One of my favorite iTunes features is the smart playlist function. Not only do I try to rate all of my songs, I also try to label all of them according to general feel. The result is that if I want a bunch of good, hard songs, I can just put on one list and know that I'm going to get what I'm looking for.

I think my most-played list is "Mellow," which has a lot of acoustic and mid-tempo stuff on it. I play it a lot because it's good to listen to in the background while I'm reading or cooking or whatever the fuck else I do. I generally avoid the "Depressing" list because, well, it's depressing. But I have not been avoiding that list at all lately, so I thought I'd share my thoughts on the most depressing songs out there. In no particular order:

Moonlight Mile - The Rolling Stones
I have no idea what this song is actually about. It's probably about cocaine or fucking some dude or something. Mick Jagger's fucking crazy. But whatever it's actually about, it's fucking depressing and it always makes me feel fucking lonely as shit: "I am just living to be lying by your side, but I'm just about a moonlight mile on down the road."

A Long December - The Counting Crows
This one's so cliche I almost didn't put it up, but the fact of the matter is that it's one of the most ridiculously depressing introspective songs out there. It's tinged with regret and sorrow and the feeling that the whole past year was a fucking failure. And sometimes I absolutely feel that way.

Such Great Heights - Iron & Wine
I don't even like to listen to this song because it makes me so fucking sad. And not just because of the fact that it reminds me of one of the loneliest times of my life, but also because it's just a sad little ballad about, well, missing someone that you think is perfect.

To Forgive - The Smashing Pumpkins
If I'm listening to Mellon Collie and I don't want to be depressed, I skip this song. For me, it's too close to home not to make me sad no matter what else is going on in my life. "And I remember my birthdays, empty party afternoons." I've been there, man.

Yesterday - Boyz II Men
Yeah, ok, I went there. The original is clearly awesome, but I really like the Boyz II Men version, too. Remember how much I love vocal harmony? This is just an amazing a cappella arrangement. It's somber, the harmonies are awesome, and the sense of loss is palpable. It's fucking awesome. Except the screaming part at the end--that just seems forced.

The Wind - Cat Stevens
This is another song where I'm not really sure what it means, but it just sounds sad. And, of course, it's associated with Rushmore, which I associate with fall, which is, of course, the saddest of the seasons.

Wishlist - Pearl Jam
I wish all those things, too.

Maybe that's enough for now. Anyway, yeah.

Posted by Ismael Tapia II at 12:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (9)| Filed under Existential Nonsense , Music Reviews

No one wins all the time. And no one can reasonably expect that they will. I certainly don't. But I have--or maybe had--faith that our system was fair or just or equitable.

I wish Mr. Vice could tell me that I fucked something up. I keep asking him if he thinks I did. But he keeps telling me what I think is probably the truth: I could have done better, obviously, but it probably wouldn't have made a difference. So it's not even like I can really blame myself for what happened. In the end, the system fucking failed.

And it will fail again.

Posted by Ismael Tapia II at 1:37 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)| Filed under Existential Nonsense , Goddamnit

Yes, after what seems like forever, I have posted a new poll. This one was inspired by a conversation I had with Co-SME and his girlfriend, The Reeg. I personally voted for "more intelligent." I feel completely lost and overwhelmed by how smart others are far too often, so I think that being smarter would be preferable to almost anything on that list.

Also, apparently about 40 percent of you love your job. Nicely done.

Posted by Ismael Tapia II at 11:42 PM | Permalink | Comments (10)| Filed under Existential Nonsense , Polls

So, the Large Hadron Collider is supposed to be turned on today. Stay tuned to Here is No Why for updates about whether CERN's particle collider creates a black hole that swallows and destroys the Earth or the entire Universe.

Anyway, while I'm not nearly smart enough to understand what the fuck the LHC is actually supposed to help us learn--something about particles, dark matter, and the nature of mass, from what I understand--I am smart enough to appreciate an extremely geeky yet catchy rap video about the LHC. Check it out:

Posted by Ismael Tapia II at 12:28 AM | Permalink | Comments (6)| Filed under Existential Nonsense , Funny Shit

Right now, I'm thinking that fall has to be my favorite season. There's something about the crisp air on a fall night that makes the world seem--for lack of a more hetero term--magical. Fall reminds me of riding ferris wheels, Halloween, the feeling of being buried in blankets, Wes Anderson movies, and that scene from American Beauty where Ricky's showing Jane the video of the plastic bag. Fall makes me feel, for whatever reason, like the world is full of awesome possiblities but that, at the same time, it's on the brink of ending.

Fall in Wisconsin is even awesomer. There's all the harvest-related events like corn mazes and apple cider and shit. Fall in Wisconsin seems to be what autumn was meant to feel like.

Oh, and the fucking leaves changing color. That's pretty fucking awesome. It's also a nice change from Flagstaff where the evergreens were, well, always fucking green. Except when they were brown and dead.

So, yeah, I like fall.

Posted by Ismael Tapia II at 12:04 AM | Permalink | Comments (7)| Filed under 150 Things to Love About Madison , Existential Nonsense

Melancholic, overwhelmed, anxious, worried. Hopeful, purposeful. Relieved. Busy. Overconfident. Worried, worried, worried. Doubtful. Nervous. Relieved. Focused, pleased, elated. Satisfied. Faithful, excited. Disappointed. Disappointed. Disappointed. Dissatisfied, angry, critical, hurt, lost. Entertained. Disappointed. Infinite sadness.

Posted by Ismael Tapia II at 1:10 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)| Filed under Existential Nonsense , Life Sucks Sometimes , Potentially Entirely Unhelpful Analogies

One of the things that I hate so much about getting a haircut is the strange social factor. I mean, this stranger's got her hands all up in your hair, and you're sitting there with some stranger's hands in your hair. You have to talk to each other or else it's just way too fucking strange. So you make ridiculous small talk. At some point, maybe you've been going to the same person for so long that you actually have some sort of friendly relationship, but before you're at that point, it's just strange. Like today, for example, I went to a place I had not been to before in an attempt to find a barber that'll just know how to make my hair look awesome. So this girl's hands were playing with my hair for forty-five minutes, and I had to talk to her.

So we started doing the small talk thing. She asked what I did. I told her. Awkward silence. What the hell am I going to do, ask what she does? So then she asked where I was from, and I told her. Awkward silence. I asked where she was from, and she said "Oshkosh." I said "Oh! My partner's from Oshkosh," referring to Mr. Vice who is, indeed, from the Oshkosh area. More awkward silence.

Eventually, though, we got into a fairly good conversational rhythm. And then she said "So, do you and your partner live together?" It took me a second to figure out what the fuck she meant. And then I did figure it out, and I responded as I imagine any heterosexual man would when someone had just implied that he was gay: I freaked out and overcompensated. "Oh, no," I said, "I meant my business partner. Not my sex partner. Or whatever. I'm not gay." Really awkward silence. "Not that there's anything wrong with that," I hastily added.

So here's the thing. "Partner" means someone you're in business with, not someone you're fucking. Can we just keep it that way?

Posted by Ismael Tapia II at 12:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (12)| Filed under

As you may recall, last Saturday was my birthday. I went out ot dinner with my friends and had a really good time. Oh, and Co-SME and The Reeg threw me a party at their place, which was also a house-warming party for the place, which is awesome. It was a lot of fun, and I would have been more than satisfied with those two awesome things. But Mr. Vice nonetheless told me that I shouldn't make any plans for this Saturday because we were going to go out to dinner with RPM and Mr. Utah, who had not been able to make it to the festivities last weekend. I was excited because, as you may or may not realize, I love being the center of attention.

Anyway, Mr. Utah showed up and a bunch of us watched the Badger game and then went down to the Taste of Madison, which is yet another amazing thing that makes summer in Madison one of my favorite time-place combinations. (Winter in Madison ranks pretty high up there, too, by the way). But there was trouble a-brewin'. See, RPM was supposed to leave Chicago at about 1pm. But because his now-former landlord is a dick, RPM wasn't able to leave Chi-town for much longer than anticipated. I had some idea that this was affecting whatever plans my friends had in mind, but I didn't think it would be a big deal.

Eventually, however, as it became obvious that RPM wasn't going to be in Madison in time for dinner and everyone started talking about eating at either Qdoba, which I don't really like, or Five Guys, which is awesome but not what I was in the mood for, I got sort of depressed and disappointed.

Then RPM showed up and we decided we had better get a move on. That's when Mr. Vice handed me a card, which I opened to find a picture of David Hasselhoff staring at me. Then I opened the card and was vaguely shocked to find a wad of cash. "Cash," I thought, "that's sort of strange." And then I said that out loud. And then Mr. Vice said "Read the card, you idiot." So I did, and I realized that my friends have given me cash to be used for a very specific purpose.

Now, I love to gamble. One of my favorite places in the world is Las Vegas. I don't know what it is about gambling, but I get a rush out of it. Not to mention that I just like the games themselves. And, of course, everything's better when there's money at stake. The problem with Madison is that it's very far from Las Vegas. On the bright side, however, there is a casino within an hour of here. The down side is that none of my friends here really gamble. So for the past four years, I've been trying to convince everyone that we should go to the casino. When a night was winding down and we weren't sure what to do, I'd say "Fuck it, let's go to Ho-Chunk." Or when we weren't sure where to go eat, I'd say "Fuck it, let's go to Ho-Chunk." But, alas, we had never gone.

Until Saturday, when my friends surprised me by taking me to the casino I'd been wanting to go to for years. And it did not disappoint. I think most people had a good time, and most of us gambled. I did ok at the poker table, and L-Dawg lost all his money pretty quickly, which I find hilarious. I tried to turn everyone on to craps, and Mr. Utah and Shakenneighborsyndrome seemed to like it. X-tina was scared of it.

But that's not really the point. The point is that it was a great night and that I appreciate the hell out of what my friends did for me. It was really awesome and I didn't see it coming at all.

So, really, thanks to everyone that was involved, even if you couldn't be there. I really can't thank you guys enough.

Posted by Ismael Tapia II at 9:42 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)| Filed under Existential Nonsense , Fun Shit I've Done , Hanging Out With My Friends , Things I'm Irrationally Attached To