Here is No Why

Apology to the Charter Guy

September 23, 2008 11:49 PM

k, Charter Guy. I grudgingly admit that I owe you an apology. See, I may have been on hold with Charter for literally an hour and a half that night. And your company may have been completely incorrect about everything you told me. And it is absolutely the case that three different people told me three different stories about when my service would get fixed before you got on the phone. And it's true that the person I spoke to immediately before you barely spoke English but still managed to convey a level of condescension and derision that not even I at my most spiteful can convey. And there's the fact that everyone I spoke to kept saying how sorry they were when they clearly were both entirely unsorry and utterly incapable of actually helping me. But, looking back on it, none of that excused my behavior.

See, it probably wasn't cool to give you an ultimatum. And, in retrospect, that wasn't the most intelligent bargaining strategy on my end. It was wrong of me to react to your rejection of my ultimatum by demanding to speak to the CEO of Charter Communications, who you claimed to be authorized to speak for. It was rude of me to refer to Charter as "the most incompetent company in the history of the universe" and to suggest that your customer service was worse than what one would expect from a drug-addled whore. That was all bad enough.

But I now see that calling you, personally, a complete and total failure of a human being may have been a tad over the top.

Still, you were a jerk and your company sucks. But now I'm with a different company, and DSL is almost as fast as your cable, anyway. I still don't know what I'm going to do about TV, though. But whatever. Fuck you.

And I'm sorry.

But mostly fuck you.

4 Comments

Lauren said:

An apology Socrates would be proud of!

September 24, 2008 9:54 AM

annon said:

That was you? All service calls here at Charter are recorded and today yours was replayed many, many times. Everyone got a good laugh out of it.
I can't wait to tell everyone at work that the "Irate Asshole" is the author of a blog I regularly read.. I bet you will have a least 20 new readers.

September 24, 2008 10:09 PM

morenonesense said:

i personally feel that your apology posts are your best - we all know that you could prolly do these once a day for the rest of your life and never run out of people to apologize to, so I say, keep writin' em.

September 24, 2008 10:39 PM

Who? said:

I'll never forget the time I tried calling to request a law mandated credit for a service outage only to have them tell me I couldn't ask for it because, though I paid the bills, the account was in my wife's name. WTF? Never have I gone off on so many indian call center employees in so many different profane ways.

September 29, 2008 8:19 PM