You haven't ever had to teach pre-meds (who later grow up to be M.D.s). Some of them are very intelligent, friendly, and engaging. But the majority are not. They are entitled, do nothing but complain about how hard it is to be a pre-med (by the way, it's not that hard) and complain and about the every so called injustice that comes their way (having to learn thermodynamics is not an injustice). I say give this person a second chance, but she seems very much like the worst of the pre-med bunch I've seen here (especially the part about wanting to be doctor since she was 16). Also, if she were that smart, she would have been an M.D. PhD. Word.

bleh. sorry to hear that.

Ask her if she knows John Dorian. That guy is hilarious! So is Black Scrubs.

She didn't give a shit about your job? That's bizarre. Nothing gets women hotter than rambling on about your job. Don't worry about giving her a second chance--she won't be calling you. Certainly a man of your intellect has considered (i) that you aren't nearly as witty and urbane as you think you are (e.g. your joke about people dying from genetic disorders), and (ii) she got bored immediately and gave you the stiff-arm.

A pretty good indicator of both (i) and (ii) is the fact that she pulled out medical literature in the middle of your date to pass the time. You can't make that up. Rather than castigate her for being boring, perhaps you should shine the light inwards for a little introspection. Or you could continue on this path and see how that plays out. My money is on the latter.

A comment to what she hate me said, whipping out a fucking journal article in any social situation is the rudest thing you can do. Especially during a date. If you don't like the date, make something up or just leave. If you can't wait another hour to start reading the article, then say you need to go home. And if you don't know not to start reading for work during a date, than you are either clueless, boring, or so amazing inconsiderate of other people that you should probably stop dating and just focus on your job. You shouldn't even bring work reading to a date! Word.

I completely disagree with "She Hate Me". You were going on a first date. You are supposed to talk about yourself and your job, JUST AS SHE OBVIOUSLY DID. (!) That is the point.

I agree with you that she should have canceled. Your current strategy seems good. More importantly, it is great that you went on this date! If you go on a number of dates like this, the odds are good. And isn't that increase in the odds worth the cost of forsaken video game playing time?

Just to continue the response to "She Hate Me": the blogger has a wonderful job (that he likes!), and does wonderful things for people as part of his wonderful job. Should he not mention that on a first date?

This woman was rude to pull out her notes or whatever. However, maybe she was truly "not herself" because of the circumstances. Or maybe she's just self-centered. Or maybe something else. The odds are that 9 out of 10 will not be promising, so this particular incident shouldn't be too discouraging.

How did the stripper work out? Does the stripper smoke? (Because then you have to multiply the bad probabilities together.)

word to the fxv, who beat me to the punch.

An open letter to "She Hate Me" -

I love a good troll hunt. Really, you've got nothing better to do than go on someone's blog and make vicious personal attacks against them under the cloak of anonymity. I'd imagine you're also "WTF?" from the "Tea Sucks" post, "Dracula" from the "Halloween, 2008" post. Why? Because I don't think there are that many worthless fucks out there who waste this much time trying to denigrate one (apologies to Ismael) non-famous person.

You don't like the man? That's fine. Sometimes I don't like him either. He's a polarizing figure, from one issue to the next, even from one moment to the next. Feel free to dislike him, hate him if you must. But are you really such a spineless, pathetic little twat that you need to come here under a fake name and take cheap shots? If so, I really hope it feels good. I really hope you get some joy out of that. If that's what it takes to feel good about yourself, I hope that gets you off.

You sad, pathetic piece of shit.

Sincerely,

Cole Daniel Ruby

Dr. Lady is one of those people I choose not to associate with. Overachievers, Wiz Kids, what have you, are often impossible people to be around. At the beginning of a relationship, they seem smart, witty, funny, all of the qualities you attribute to Dr. Lady. After a while, though, they tend to prove themselves condescending and insensitive towards you, while being completely sensitive about their own situations. Now, this probably all too much thinking about a first date, or even a fifth date. It does seem very interesting that she felt comfortable enough to pull her work out in front of you. I think it shows honesty, however much of a faux pas it is to do on a first date. I say it matters more what you want out of the whole thing. If you can put up with her personality, then fine. Otherwise move on.

well, good for you for getting out there. everyone has bad days, i'm glad you'll see her, if she calls again so at least you'll have a better idea of what she's like. as to her wanting the same thing now as when she was 16--it's a little boring, but i think it's ok. especially if it's something like a doctor, that is competitive and time consuming. it's not like she got a job in the mall at 16 and talks about how great it is to still be working there today.

also, maybe there's something interesting behind why she is so rooted in wisconsin. i think that this difference between you guys is something good--it would be pretty boring if you met a girl who had really similar experiences to yours and valued all the same things. why would you need to talk to each other about it? what could you learn?

i do think the lack of conersational spark is important, and giving it another try could be good. and if you meet with other people from the site, try to enjoy how different they are from you.

I see I am not the only one ready to jump all over "She Hate Me" ... don't listen to that shit. What the fuck was this date doing bringing along medical literature on her date in the first place? This chick was ready to pull that stuff out and read it going in to your date, and that's just not cool, at all. Sounds to me like she was the death of the date, and you were at least trying to keep it revived. (How's that for a little doctor-humor-analogy-whatever?) Anyway, though I may not know you in person, I've read enough of your posts and exchanged enough emails with you to know that you are a great conversationalist, and a good person, and good at trying to find humor in things. So I could not disagree with that commenter more. For what it's worth.

Btw, I liked hearing about the date no matter what. As someone who has done the whole internet dating site thing herself, I can tell you that you won't necessarily know sometimes how it will go with someone you meet there until you go out on the actual date; you're going to have good ones and bad ones; I think you learn from both kinds of dates, the good ones and the bad ones; the best way to meet someone great is to get out there and meet people in general; and dude, it can totally work. My "e-harmo-nots" highly outnumbered my eharmony yeses, but damn, that last eharmony good match was awesome. I wouldn't have traded it for anything, even though it didn't work - and it only made me think that, man, this CAN work. Don't get discouraged. Good luck, and keep posting.

Mr. X.,
Do you know that one of our old friends--let's call him Bentley--is currently in med school? And at the same university you attend, no less?

Valerie,
Thanks. Bad dates happen, though, it's no big deal.

Mr. Utah,
I actually told her than when I thought of her job, I just pictured the cast and set of Scrubs. She said that that's actually fairly accurate.

What the fuck is Black Scrubs?

She Hate Me,
You know, she probably wasn't into me. And that's fine, because I wasn't into her at all. But at least I was trying to be engaging and interesting and funny. She might not have thought I was any of those things, and that's fine, but at least I made an effort. All she did was ramble on about how crappy her job was an imitate a patient taking a dump. Not exactly good dinner conversation. I mean, you seem to agree that it's pretty boring to just talk about your job on a date, but that's all she did. I barely mentioned what I do at all.

Your criticism is not only a pathetic attempt at insulting me, it also demonstrates a shocking lack of reading comprehension.

Mr. X.,
Just to be clear, she only started reading while I was in the bathroom. It's not like she busted out the literature right in the middle of the "conversation." But, yeah, I agree that it was really rude and ridiculous. I was not impressed.

Ms. Henin,
Thanks for the kind words and encouragement! Even though I don't think I'm going to see this girl again, I still think the date was a success in the sense that I was myself but didn't put my foot in mouth too much and, at the very least, got myself "out there." I wish things would have gone better, but things didn't go terribly. It's like practice or whatever.

Also, things did not work out with the stripper. But that's ok. She did smoke, so things would have probably been terrible.

Mr. Vice,
And that's what having an awesome friend feels like. She Hate Me should try it some time.

Expat,
Yeah, whiz kids are obnoxious, and I think you're generally correct about their personalities. But, wait, aren't you a whiz kid?

Dee,
Like I said, I'm up for seeing her again, but I'm just not going to go out of my way to do it. If she wants to call me, she can. I just hope she's in a better mood.

As far as the whole "wanting to be a doctor your whole life" thing, I guess what bothered me about it was just was TheExpat was saying--whiz kids tend to be crazy. But also boring because they've spent so much time concentrating on this ridiculous goal that they haven't spent a lot of time learning how to be good people. Maybe that's more what I meant than that having a goal and sticking to it means you're boring. I don't know.

Sadielady,
Thank you for the nice words. I really think that I'm at least decent at getting people to open up and talk. And I think that I can make most people at least smile or chuckle. Am I the best conversationalist or the funniest person ever? No, of course not. But I can carry my weight in a discussion. It's nice to hear that someone else agrees with me.

As far as the online dating thing, I have to admit that I was really discouraged for a few days after the date. I mean, this girl seemed good on paper but then she was a complete let down in every way. But then I realized that it's sorta stupid for me to think that anything awesome is going to happen the first time I go and actually meet someone, so I think I'm ready to start seeing if there's anyone else out there even worth meeting in person again.

You're on top of the game. Thanks for sarhing.

This is way btteer than a brick & mortar establishment.

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