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Touché, Charter
January 21, 2009 11:44 PM
y feud with Charter is second only to my feud with UPS. You could say that Charter is like the General Zod to UPS's Lex Luthor. Right. Anyway, when I last tangled with my dastardly foe, I told them to go shove it because they refused to waive a stupid, made-up fee they had decided to charge me. I told them, in no uncertain terms, that they were the worst company in the history of the universe and that I would never do business with them again.
This apparently did not resonate with Charter, as I have gotten at least one piece of junk mail from them per week since I canceled my services with them. I wasn't surprised, therefore, when I opened my mailbox and found another piece of mail from Charter in there. But, upon closer inspection, I realized that it wasn't an ordinary piece of junk. For starters, this thing had my actual name on it. So I opened up the envelope. inside I found Charter's most insulting communication yet, a piece of correspondence so utterly infuriating that it is nothing short of an act of war. What did I find inside the envelope? A check. How can a check be insulting? I'll show you:
That, my friends, is how a check can be insulting. Charter claims that they owed me a refund or something, but nine cents doesn't even come close to covering what they owe me in terms of time and frustration. Hell, nine fucking cents won't even cover the cost of gas to drive to my fucking bank to deposit this motherfucker.
But this aggression will not stand, dudes. See, Charter probably sent out a fuck load of these checks, and probably assumed that most of the people that got them wouldn't cash them because, really, who gives a fuck about nine cents. Working from that assumption, they probably calculated how much these refunds are actually going to cost them and concluded that they won't cost shit. But fuck them. I'm cashing my check. I'm cashing my check with a vengeance.
So, seriously, if you got one of these fucking things, cash the fuck out of it.
You'll never beat me, Charter. You're a second-rate villain at best.
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mzvtouxwtjh, at Touché, Charter, said
uIsaTT mzfptbasizny
Theresa, at Touché, Charter, saidTheres a sercet about your post. ICTYBTIHTKY
Justine, at Touché, Charter, saidEveryone else is just dancing around the obvious: the real way to get back at a company you hate is to cause property damage that is in proportion to your hatred. I recommend destroying the accounts payable division of General Zod, and then torching something else if there is any leftover hatred. You will feel much better afterward.
Who?, at Touché, Charter, saidDon't spend your nine cents all in one place. Charter is entering bankruptcy and the check is a preferential payment that the court is going to want back to pay other creditors. Suck it! Charter is still finding new ways to screw you over.
Anonymouse, at Touché, Charter, saidThey didn't send this check out willingly, and it already cost them more than nine cents. They only sent this check, and thousands more like it, to avoid a possible bigger problem down the road (either regulatory or class action, or, in a perfect world, both). Still, you cash that check. Nine cents from a foe isn't much, but it's still nine cents.
I once got a check from a class action settlement that I didn't even know I was part of for 19 cents. That is, they sent me a check for so little money that it would have cost me more to deposit it (due to out of state banks) than it's face value. Jokes on them though, I just waited until I got another check, which took several months (who still uses checks if they can help it), and then I took their nineteen cents. I'm still living high on the hog off that settlement. Take that AmEx!
frank x., at Touché, Charter, saidHey! General Zod is a first rate villain. "Son of Jor-El, kneel before Zod." Doesn't get much better than that. Bizarro Superman is a second rate character, maybe even Doomsday, but Zod?. He is awesome and you know it.
On a side note, I got to talk about a 12 sided die in my discussion section today.
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Hey! General Zod is a first rate villain. "Son of Jor-El, kneel before Zod." Doesn't get much better than that. Bizarro Superman is a second rate character, maybe even Doomsday, but Zod?. He is awesome and you know it.
On a side note, I got to talk about a 12 sided die in my discussion section today.
They didn't send this check out willingly, and it already cost them more than nine cents. They only sent this check, and thousands more like it, to avoid a possible bigger problem down the road (either regulatory or class action, or, in a perfect world, both). Still, you cash that check. Nine cents from a foe isn't much, but it's still nine cents.
I once got a check from a class action settlement that I didn't even know I was part of for 19 cents. That is, they sent me a check for so little money that it would have cost me more to deposit it (due to out of state banks) than it's face value. Jokes on them though, I just waited until I got another check, which took several months (who still uses checks if they can help it), and then I took their nineteen cents. I'm still living high on the hog off that settlement. Take that AmEx!
Don't spend your nine cents all in one place. Charter is entering bankruptcy and the check is a preferential payment that the court is going to want back to pay other creditors. Suck it! Charter is still finding new ways to screw you over.
Everyone else is just dancing around the obvious: the real way to get back at a company you hate is to cause property damage that is in proportion to your hatred. I recommend destroying the accounts payable division of General Zod, and then torching something else if there is any leftover hatred. You will feel much better afterward.
Theres a sercet about your post. ICTYBTIHTKY
uIsaTT mzfptbasizny