For Reals This Time

March 23, 2009 11:41 PM

almost never eat breakfast. Certainly not on weekdays. Eating breakfast would require waking up, like, half an hour earlier, and fuck that. So when lunch comes around, I'm fucking hungry. But here's the thing: half the time, I don't eat lunch, either. Sometimes this is because I didn't bring a lunch and I don't feel like spending the money on something and other times it's because I don't have time to eat. Yeah, sure, if you added up all the time I spend reading the Superficial, I'd have ample time for lunch, but that's not the point.

Some days, though, I just can't not eat. I wasn't planning on eating today--I had a one o'clock appearance in one county and then a 3:15 appearance in another, and I wanted to get some work done between the two. But by the time I had done the first appearance and was driving to the second, I was starving. So I made a choice out of desperation and hunger: I went to McDonald's.

Let me be clear about this: I hate McDonald's. But it's fast, it's cheap, it's nearby no matter where you are, and I have these flashbacks to when I was a kid and I loved that shit. So when I'm hard up for a quick, cheap meal, it's my go-to spot.

But, inevitably, I get the food and I'm reminded of how amazingly bad--and bad for you--it is. Everything except the fries is just nasty. And even the fries are just oily salt.

So here's the thing: I'm done with McDonald's forever. I went years without eating it in college, then I got sucked back in somehow. But not this time. I'm never going back. It's that simple.

3 Comments

kristin said:

Does this include fast food that's even crappier than McDonalds? Because otherwise you're just trading down.

March 24, 2009 8:40 AM

morenonesense said:

Wow, you think the food there is too bad for you? I thank God that I haven't been there in like 10 years. But on a serious note, McDonalds is like Walmart to me: i don't give a shit how cheap it is. the service sucks, the people eating there suck, the parking sucks, the product sucks, and I am always more unhappy after I leave there than before I arrived. So yeah, fuck Ronald.

March 24, 2009 8:23 PM

Ronald McD said:

I cannot believe you don't love taking a huge bite of a Big Mac, following it up with a chicken mcnugget or fries and washing it all down with a Coke. I mean, that's last meal type stuff there.

Also, What Would Tyler Durden Do? is a much funnier, wittier blog that matches or exceeds The Superficial in the hot babes and taking down douchebags a notch departments.

March 25, 2009 8:39 AM

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