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Spring Cleaning!

May 18, 2009 11:13 AM

helsadilla and I went on a walk in Maple Bluff today. I discovered my new favorite house in Madison. It was fucking gorgeous. But we had to cut our walk short because about halfway through, we both developed an inescapable need to urinate. There were no public restrooms in sight, so I speed walked over to the Tenney Locks, hoping that their restrooms were still open. No dice. We managed to get to the seXterra and drive to a nearby convenience store before having what were undoubtedly the best excrementory moments ever.

Then we came back to my place and, after eating some creme brulee, did the only logical thing: I started doing laundry and cleaning out my closet. With chelsadilla helping me sort out what to keep and what to throw away, I made it through the three feet or so of clothes, blankets, pillows, and miscellany in my walk-in closet. Here are some things I found:

A guitar. I had actually forgotten that this was down there. It's really cheap, but it works, and chelsadilla is sort of obsessed with it now.
Various shirts I was sure were lost forever. These include my Superman t-shirt with the Superman Returns logo, my "Death to The Pixies" shirt, and two of my Zero shirts, one of which is still in wearable condition. I also found a really old Smashing Pumpkins shirt from when I was in high school. I swear, that thing must be twelve years old. It is not wearable, but it's fucking cool. I think I'm going to frame it.
The trench coat that contributed to my expulsion from high school. Yeah, my two best friends in high school and I each had black leather trench coats that we wore to school in the years after Columbine. People got pissed.
A really awesome flask with my last name engraved on it. My friend Paul gave this to me as a gift for being in his wedding party. I thought I'd lost it, but now I found it. And it still had vodka from the last time I filled it four years ago. Yay.
Lots of shit to take to Goodwill. I always heard about people donating stuff to Goodwill and I thought "Jesus, who has all that extra clothes?" It turns out, I do. Now I've got two giant bags of shit to give away.

Cleaning felt good. It's time to move on to different areas of the apartment. So that I can move out soon.

9 Comments

chelsadilla said:

I've decided that the bladder issues in Maple Bluff were definitely caused by some sort of invisible fence thinger that wreaks havoc on your insides. You know, to keep us low-lifes out. It's the only logical explanation.

May 19, 2009 9:59 AM

Lauren said:

a force field that works based on socio-economic status?? I want one!

May 19, 2009 2:57 PM

Santi said:

Years after Columbine? Was it not weeks?

May 19, 2009 4:33 PM

Santi said:

Speaking of events (and people) related to your wearing of that trench coat, I just found out about this: http://www.sacbee.com/state_wire/story/1872201.html?mi_rss=Latest%20News

May 20, 2009 12:00 AM

Ismael Tapia II said:

Dude! DUDE!

Is that for fucking real? Are you fucking serious right now? Is that a real thing that actually happened? Is she actually that stupid? Fuck. Me.

That's just . . . .

I don't even have words. I do not even have words. Is that really true? I kind of feel really very sorry for her. But mostly, I'm baffled by how unbelievably stupid this proves her to be. She forged a Congresswoman's signature! Jesus fucking Christ.

Oh, by the way, did we graduate on May 21, 1999?

May 20, 2009 12:15 AM

Santi said:

It is indeed all true. And just in case you were wondering if it was someone else by the same name, rest assured that it is not.

We definitely graduated in May 1999, that's about as accurate as I can be.

May 20, 2009 12:19 AM

Ismael Tapia II said:

I know that it's not someone else. I knew she was working as a congressional aide in DC. Unbelievable. How did you even find that?

Also, I think it was May 21, and here's why. I know that we graduated two days after the release of The Phantom Menace. I remember that because I remember being pissed that I couldn't go to Tucson and see it on opening day because graduation stuff was going on. I'm almost certain it was two days later. I just checked, and the movie came out on May 19th, so I think we graduated on May 21st.

I'm googling our wayward classmate as we speak . . . .

May 20, 2009 12:36 AM

Santi said:

It was in the Nogales International. We heard it from Adelina's parents.

May 20, 2009 1:02 AM

frank x. said:

I know it's wrong to live in the past, but wow! You don't expect that every day

May 20, 2009 11:14 PM