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Undergrads

June 15, 2009 11:17 PM

y friend Mr. X graduated from college one year ahead of me, by which I mean that he rushed through the subject matter in four years while I took an extra year to really let things soak in.

Anyway. Mr. X went off to grad school and came back talking about how much he hated undergrads and how annoying they were. I, still being an undergrad, thought he was crazy and out of line. Then someone reminded me that it was my turn in beer pong, so I screamed at the top of my lungs and chugged a beer while haphazardly tossing my ping-pong ball towards the far end of the table.

Within seconds of arriving in Madison, I thought to myself, "Jesus, undergrads are fucking worthless." I realized that I had sold myself out, but I didn't even really pretend to care. Not only was I older than the undergrads, I was better than them. In every way. Or maybe not.

But undergrads really do look like they're twelve years old. They are more self-centered, more self-involved, and more filled with a sense of entitlement than should be allowed. And they're loud and obnoxious to be in bars with. I'm speaking generally, of course. Some are pretty amazingly mature people. I'm looking at you, The Reeg. But for the most part, not so much.

The thing about it is that I'm sure I was just as bad when I was twenty-two. In fact, I know I was much, much worse. But it's still strange to see some kid drunk out of his mind on game day with his shirt covered in his own vomit and think about how that guy will probably be a doctor or lawyer or engineer or something.

And the other thing is that I sometimes find myself being extremely jealous of the undergrads. Sometimes I'll be walking towards my car downtown and pass one of their house parties. There'll be a beer-pong table set up on the porch, raucous music coming from inside (every now and then something like Outkast's "Hey Ya!" will come on--an oldie for them), and red plastic cups strewn everywhere. And you know that somewhere in that house, there's some SERIOUS, IMPORTANT conversation going on and a Scarface poster hung slightly off-level. And a little part of me is extremely jealous and nostalgic.

Being an undergrad forever would be both a great reward and a terrible punishment, I think.



5 Comments


Santi said:

Undergrads are the bane of my existence... and yet at the same time my career depends on their existence :/

June 16, 2009 1:08 AM



Lauren said:

I went to an undergrad Halloween party last year and I had a terrible time. Yeah, I get nostalgic too, but there's just no going back once you've got that diploma.

June 16, 2009 9:49 AM



frank x. said:

Teaching the undergrads can be rewarding when you teach upper level classes, and soul crushingly horrible when you teach lower level classes. Also, I apologize for being "out of line" by insulting your extended undergraduateness. Apparently I "rushed" through my undergraduate studies so that I could be a graduate student forever. Really let it "soak in" (quotations "rock").

June 16, 2009 1:49 PM



The Reeg said:

"I, still being an undergrad, thought he was crazy and out of line. Then someone reminded me that it was my turn in beer pong, so I screamed at the top of my lungs and chugged a beer while haphazardly tossing my ping-pong ball towards the far end of the table." = best paragraph ever.

Do you ever read textsfromlastnight.com? I think the undergrad experience is pretty much that. It's hilarious for certain, but not a way any worthy human being aspires to live forever, or even past, say, age 22.

June 16, 2009 5:06 PM



Dee said:

i get nostalgic too, but there is NO recreating the experience. i disagree with lauren that it comes with the diploma. it's more that i don't want to just go to a party and play flipcup with whoever's there. what made that time so great was the people we were behaving so ludicrously with. if i watched a group of early 20 somethings throw together as much disgusting stuff as a shot glass would hold and then feed it to the drunkest kids there, i would not be amused. if i could catch a delorean back to the night we did that and you and morenonsense ended up swigging dish soap, i would laugh my ass off, again.

the reason undergrads are worthless is simply that they aren't me or my friends. tough break, but life is pain.

June 16, 2009 11:06 PM



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