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Just Go the Fuck Away

July 28, 2009 11:26 PM

hen I first came to Wisconsin, many things shocked me. Fried cheese? How had I never thought of that before! Forty below? You've got to be fucking kidding me!

But one of the things that struck me the most was the degree to which people were devoted to the Packers. Coming from Arizona, a state with only mediocre sports teams (yeah, the Diamondbacks won the World Series that one year, but I still don't think they had any die-hard fans) it was strange to see such universal, abiding love for one sports team.

But if people loved the Packers, then they worshiped Brett Favre. The way that people talked about him was just, well, awesome. Sure, people loved the way that he played, but there was more to it than that. There were stories about him helping his teammates with difficult personal issues and about how accessible and nice he was to fans. The consensus was that he wasn't just one of the best athletes ever, he was a great guy, too.

And then that whole thing with him retiring but then not retiring but then retiring but then wanting to play for the Vikings but then retiring but then playing for the Jets happened. I got the impression that people wanted to give him a chance. When I was a kid, I looked up to Superman; when Wisconsinites were kids, they looked up to Brett Favre. And now he was being a douche, but people wanted to forgive him for it. And many of them did.

And now he's back except that he's not and whatever else. Favre's was wildly pathetic before, now it's just unacceptable. Had Favre just hung up his helmet four years ago, he would have gone down as one of the best athletes in any sport. He'd be up there with Jordan and Woods and whoever else. Now he's just going to be remembered as a sad, indecisive, selfish guy who didn't know how to give up the glory days. He's like the high-school quarterback that, as an adult, still looks back on the homecoming game as his best moment, only on a much bigger scale.

So, seriously, man, just go the fuck away.


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