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June 4, 2008

I Fucking Hate You, Hillary Fucking Clinton

I'm going to draw an analogy between what Hillary Fucking Clinton has been up to and a not entirely hypothetical from my own life. First I'll present what Hillary Fucking Clinton actually did, then I'll make a plausible analogy about myself. For context, I'll be using a hypothetical about the one time I've run for an elected position in my life: Law Review elections. What Hillary Fucking Clinton did: Acknowledge that the delegates from Florida and Michigan wouldn't count but then campaign there, anyway. Hypothetical analogy from my own life: Proxy voting is allowed at Law Review elections, but only...

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March 1, 2008

The Whole Fucking World Is a Fraud

It seems like lately everyone is lying about everything. First, there was the whole A Million Little Pieces thing. Then, there was Kaavya Viswanathan, the "prodigy" novelist and Harvard student whose novel was discovered to be riddled with blatantly plagiarized passages. Then Marilee Jones, Dean of Admissions at MIT, admitted that she had completely made up several degrees she listed on her resume. And, perhaps most damaging to Mr. Utah, it was revealed that Bear Grylls is a fraud. And just today, these stories are on CNN's front page: Misha Defonseca, the author of a book called Misha: A Memoire...

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February 3, 2008

Second Annual Ice Bender

For whatever reason, my friend and former MBE D-Will decided last year to invite people to stand on one of Madison's frozen lakes and drink during what is statistically the coldest weekend of the year. It was a small event attended by a few people, including myself. This year, the Ice Bender tradition was kept alive and, in fact, grew. Several luminaries were in attendance, including the illustrious pH, the accomplished ShakenNeighborSyndrome, and the preeminent tRJ. So that's where I spent today--on a frozen lake in the freezing cold drinking lots of beer. Being from Arizona, the entire concept of...

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October 31, 2007

Bigfoot?

What do you think this is a picture of: According to the accompanying article, it's a picture a hunter's automatic forest camera took. The hunter, one Rick Jacobs, having never seen anything like the pictured object, immediately reported the pictures to--who else--the Bigfoot Research Organization. And the BRO, in an entirely unexpected move, concluded that the picture is, indeed, of a bigfoot or, more accurately, "a juvenile Sasquatch." The Pennsylvania Game Commission, however, believes that the picture is of nothing more than "a bear with a severe case of mange." Let's carefully parse each part of what's going on here....

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July 17, 2007

Concerning Time and the Lack Thereof

A friend of mine that I haven't talked to in almost a year called me on Friday. Twice. But I haven't called her back yet. Not because I don't want to, not because I don't miss her, not because I don't want to see how she's doing, but because I don't have time. I fucking hate studying for the bar exam. I don't usually stress out too much, and I've been entirely too nonstressed about the bar. Although it's certainly possible that I will fail, Illinois has upwards of an 80 percent passage rate, so I just don't have any...

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July 13, 2007

Random Meme Thing

I've been trolling around the blogrolls trying to find cool new blogs. As it turns out, I'm even more trapped in the blawgosphere than I thought I was (get it--bLAWgosphere? Blogs about law? blawgs? God, lawyers are nerds). Still, I've added a few links, so check them out. Or not. Whatever. Also, if you know any cool or interesting blogs, let me know, whether they're law-related or not. And let me know if you'd like me to link to you. Anyway, I found this meme over at Butterflyfish which, as near as I can tell, is written by a 2L...

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May 3, 2007

That's That

Today was the last day of classes for the semester. I didn't go to any classes today, meaning that I went to my last class ever Tuesday. It was Negotiations, and it was an abbreviated class. Not counting the bar exam course, I will never take another class again, at least not as part of a structured degree program. I can't really believe it. As shitty as my memory is, I remember some snippets of my life in almost startling detail. One such moment is the last day of what I think was fourth grade. The fourth grade and fifth...

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April 22, 2007

Law School Prom and the Power of Grayskull

Last night was the Barrister's Ball, also known as Law School Prom (not to be confused with the Malpractice Bash, also know as Law School Homecoming). Mr. Utah, Mr. Vice, Ms. Purple Hays, and I all attended. This being a formal event, I rocked the top hat. I also wore my newest, coolest accessory: a pocket watch engraved with my initials given to me by my illustrious co-Senior Managing Editor. The party itself was pretty decent. The beer (surprisingly) did not run out. Not that I cared--given Thursday night's goings ons, I wasn't really in the mood to drink. It...

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April 20, 2007

The Circle of Life

As you may or may not know, I am a proud member of the Wisconsin Law Review. I say, without any hesitation or doubt, that I am more proud of my membership in that organization than any other. I say here, publicly, that I have learned more in my two years as a member of the WLR than I have in almost all of my other years on this planet. Simply put, if you have the opportunity to join this organization, do so. It will make you a better law student, a better lawyer, and a better person. Seriously. Tonight...

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March 26, 2007

"I Will Diminish and Go Into the West"

Wow. Sometimes, life happens so quickly that it's easy to completely lose sight of where you've been, where you are, and where you're going. Today, the Wisconsin Law Review held its annual elections. I literally can't believe that it's been almost a year since I was on the other side of this--since it was me standing up in front of eighty people, telling them why they should vote for me. Although that day perhaps did not go as I had hoped, the ensuing year has surpassed all of my expectations. Someone asked me why I wanted to be SME when...

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March 24, 2007

"Oh, He Couldn't Bring the Columns Down, He Couldn't Destroy a Single One"

I got a haircut today. My hair was longer than it had been since high school--it came down to my chin in the front. I told the girl at the place that I wanted to look clean-cut and professional, but also that I didn't want to look like a tool, so that she should leave it relatively long. She asked me if about half the length would be good, and I said that sounded perfect. My hair now is about an inch long. Which, unless my math is mistaken, is much, much shorter than half its previous length; my hair...

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March 17, 2007

Concerning My Thursday and My Hair

The past few days have been exhausting. Thursday started out normally enough; I had to help prepare and distribute the last round of cite-check packets for the Law Review 2Ls. Then I had to go to my Negotiations class and finish up a group negotiation. Then, I had rehearsal for Law Revue, which was to be followed up, so the plan went, with several more hours of work. I got to school at around 11am and started getting the packets ready. But the process took much longer than we had anticipated because of a large number of completely unforeseeable things...

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March 14, 2007

The Seventh Thing to Love About Madison: Spring

Goddamn, it's was cold for a while. But it looks like winter is now mostly behind us. Although the official start to spring is still a few weeks away, we've had a precursor to the season of rebirth here in Madison. Where before there were huge piles of snow, there are now only large puddles, which themselves dry up rather quickly. Where before there were several frozen lakes, there are now mostly unfrozen lakes, although some idiots are still out there icefishing. Where before there were down jackets, there are now t-shirts, at least for me. It's a great feeling...

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March 10, 2007

At Least Jessica Alba Is Hot

For some reason, I stayed up way later last night than I had originally intended; I didn't go to bed until abou 5am. Then I woke up at about ten so that I could get to school in time to do the Law Review stuff I had to do today. Once I got going, it was a pretty productive day, especially thanks to a few 2Ls that worked their asses off today. After leaving school and faced with the prospect of (gasp) free time, I decided to go deposit a few checks at the bank. While I was there, I...

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February 22, 2007

In the Zone or G-Spot Bowling

A long time ago, I was an avid bowler. It was a lot of fun, and I used to be in kid's leagues and whatnot. I was a pretty decent bowler for a 12-year-old, if I do say so myself. Although I can't remember my average score, I can remember the highest score I ever got: a 176. That score came out of nowhere, and I was unable to so much as approach it for a long time. Until last night, actually. Last night was the Law Review's bowling event. I made a comment in an e-mail to the members...

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January 26, 2007

"Sing Us a Song, You're the Piano Man . . ."

After working on Law Review stuff until about 10:30, I decided that I would join Cole, Kristin, Chris and others down at bar review. Tonight's bar review was at the Orpheum, a downtown movie theatre and bar. This was in spite of the fact that the original announcement said bar review was at the Great Dane, an altogether better and cooler bar. Still, a bunch of my friends decided they were going to go out, so I did, too. For various reasons, I was in kind of a bad mood tonight and was suffering from what I've decided to call...

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January 9, 2007

"When a Body Catch a Body Comin' Thro' the Rye"

I finally read Catcher in the Rye while I was home. I thought it was ok, but not great. My problem with it is the same problem I had with Franey and Zooey, namely that nothing happens. More happens in former than the latter, but that doesn't change the fact that almost nothing happens. Let me summarize the plot for you, with apologies if I ruin the book for you. Holden Caulfield is a rich kid who gets kicked out of another exclusive prep school. He runs away to New York City, where his family lives, but doesn't go back...

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January 7, 2007

More Respect for Ringo Starr

Getting back into the groove of doing work has been slow going, to say the least. Although school hasn't started yet, I've got a long list of stuff I need to do during the break, most of it Law Review related. It's ok, though--I've had a decent vacation and now it's time to get back to work. I just don't want to yet. I don't have any new year's resolutions, really. If anything, I have two goals: keep from gaining weight and get more organized. My quest for increased organization encompasses both time management (I'm going to get a fucking...

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November 15, 2006

Sweet Fancy Crap, I'm Busy!

Going into the school year, I knew that it was going to be the busiest of my life. Between school, Law Review, the job hunt, and, oh yeah, a life, I knew that I'd be pretty pressed for time. But it's like MTV show: You think you know, but you have no idea. It's been so long since I've been caught up in classes, I have almost no idea what's going on. I've missed turning in two writing assignments. Fortunately, in both cases, I think the teachers like me and weren't at all bummed that I turned the things in...

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October 14, 2006

The Law School Wins the Dean's Cup! The Law School Wins the Dean's Cup!

That's fucking right. After two years of losing to those med school fucks, we won! And by a score of 211 to 144, too. It was a fucking blow-out. My contribution, in terms of actual points on the scoreboard, was limited. Or, rather, non-existant. But I participated in several events. Well, just one. But, still, this victory is for everyone - especially me. I have to hand it to the Law School leadership, especially SBA President Kene Okocha. He is the man. The next big event is Monday, the Dean's Cup celebration, featuring the Med dean handing the Cup to...

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October 6, 2006

They Don't Write to Say They Want You . . .

I've been working my ass off lately, which explains the lack of posts in recent days. I've been working on stuff for Law Review. It's been a lot of work, but I like it for some reason. The feeling of accomplishment is something I haven't gotten to feel very often. The last time I felt this way was when I worked at the TV station. There's something about knowing that you're doing something that a lot of people are going to see that's deeply satisfying for me, even if I'm working on only a small part of the production. As...

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October 4, 2006

Brown and Nerdy

Weird Al's got a new song out called "White and Nerdy." If you haven't seen the video, you have to watch it now. It's awesome. Now that that's out of the way, here's an update on what I've been up to: I was at school all day today working on various things. I have to say - although today was a 16-hour day, I didn't mind it very much. I find most of my classes interesting. My favorite right now is probably Remedies because I want to litigate so I find the topic inherently interesting. My second favorite class is...

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October 1, 2006

Fuck You, You Lazy Piece of Shit

You know, I used to have sympathy for panhandlers. Cause, you know what, if you're a parapalegic and you're down on your luck, I'll give you a few bucks if I've got it. But I have no fucking sympathy for able-bodied fucks who are too lazy to fucking get a job so they just sit there on State Street begging for money. For example, I was walking back to school from the Parthenon today. I notice that there are some people, probably around my age or younger, sitting in one of the benches. They've got these worn out duffel bags...

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September 4, 2006

The Last Beginning

Tomorrow is the first day of school for those of us attending the University of Wisconsin. Well, for those of you attending the University of Wisconsin who have classes on Tuesdays. Since I don't have classes on Tuesdays or Thursdays, however, I will not be attending school tomorrow. Sadly, it is very likely that I will still be in the building doing all different sorts of shit. In any event, tomorrow is still officially my last first day of school - ever. I can honestly say that I don't know how I feel about that. On the one hand, I'm...

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August 18, 2006

On the Eve of a Trip Across the Country

So, tomorrow morning I will drive to Chicago at 9am, whereupon I will hopefully hang out with Ryan and Elise before catching my plane to California. I'm going to California because that's where my family lives now, unfortunately. I was born in Los Angeles, but my mom and I moved to Nogales, Arizona shortly thereafter. I grew up in Arizona, making frequent trips to LA. When I moved to college in Flagstaff, my parents, tired of Nogales, moved to Flagstaff, also. When I came to law school, my parents moved to California to be closer to the rest of our...

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August 17, 2006

"The Woods Are Lovely, Dark and Deep, But I Have Promises to Keep and Miles to go Before I Sleep"

Just as a sidenote, I hate Robert Frost. I think he's horrible. All his poems fucking suck. Especially that one about the fucking pile of wood. He did, however, manage to string together, surely by complete chance, the lines I've quoted in the title of this post. Anyway, school is quickly approaching. My anxiety level is quickly increasing. It undoubtedly has to do with the fact that I've got a shit-load of stuff to do and a very limited amount of time in which to get it done. And the fact that I haven't done nearly enough as far as...

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June 4, 2006

Try, Try, Try

I have to admit that I've been really down lately. Not a big deal, it'll pass. Still, it sucks. Especially on days like today, which was a pretty good day. It didn't start out like it would be, though. First of all, I had to be up just as early as on a weekday because of the Law Review "Strategic Planning Meeting." I won't comment too much on that because it won't be interesting to anyone who wasn't there or who hasn't already heard about it. In any event, that wrapped up at about 3. The we dispersed momentarily. S.Admin.E....

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April 12, 2006

Another Rejection

"Dear Ismael: Thank you for interviewing for the summer law clerk position at our firm. It was a pleasure meeting you. Unfortunately, we have decided to fill the position with another candidate. Best of luck in your future endeavors." And so ends my dream of working at a firm this summer. Fuck. I guess I knew it was a shitty interview as soon as it was over but still. I guess being Senior Managing Editor doens't pull a lot of weight. No big deal, i guess. If i do the Consumer Law Litigation Clinic, i'll only have 19 credits to...

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April 5, 2006

Another Reason to Vote for Rain

So far on the current poll, 3 of you, or 25%, have voted for lightning as your favorite weather phenomenon. I'm the only one thus far who has voted for snow. That's probably because i'm from the desert and snow has not yet lost it's magical feeling for me. Regardless, i just experienced a reason for why you should vote for rain. The law school, in its infinite wisdom, chose to gave the Grand Reading Room what appears to be a glorified corrugated tin roof. I was in here tonight, working on my final cite checking packet, when it apparently...

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April 3, 2006

Barrister's Ball, Law Review, and Law Revue

First, i feel that i have to comment on the recent happenings at Legal Badger and their consequences. For those of you who don't know, Legal Badger is a blog run by several University of Wisconsin law students. It is a blog devoted to poking fun at the law school, law students, the law, pretty much everything. One of the contributors to that blog posted a semi-serious piece asking for comments on the Wisconsin Law Review's diversity policy. This lead to several comments and then several replies. The converstation became quite heated, as is likely to happen when such an...

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March 22, 2006

Announcement

I would like to announce (although this will come as a surprise to no one) that i am officially a candidate for Editor-in-Chief and, failing that, Senior Managing Editor of the Wisconsin Law Review. Wish me luck....

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January 11, 2006

Interesting Facts From my Paper

Here are some things which may or may not be interesting about my article: Title: For Fear of a Man and His Donkey: Morals, Laws, and the Fundamental Right to Polygamy Number of characters, counting spaces: 51,144 Number of characters, not counting spaces: 42,790 Number of spaces: 8,534 Number of words: 8,118 Number of lines: 732 Number of Footnotes: 183 Number of paragraphs: 88 Length without footnotes: 32 pages Total length: 42 pages Number of Parts: 7 Margins: 2 inches on left, 1.25 inches on right (as required) Number of slams on James Dobson: 1 Number of Smashing Pumpkins quotes:...

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January 10, 2006

It's Fucking Done

At long last, my absence from the blogosphere has come to an end! I'm done with the paper! YES! check back soon for some interesting facts about my comment for the Wisconsin Law Review. Oh Motherfuckin' Yeah! It's time for a night out with the MBEs....

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January 5, 2006

Of Polygamy and Procrastination

So, I'm sitting at Barriques' with Katherine and Nidhi in an attempt to get work done because the FUCKING law school library closed at 6. This, my friends, is a travesty. I've got a fucking forty-page paper to write, and they're closing the library at 6. That's bullshit. Especially when you combine it with the fact that i'm waking up at about 1 or 2 every day. So far, i've got about 14 pages done. My paper's probably going to end up being about 50-60 pages long. And it's due Tuesday. I'm fucking screwed. Anyway, the Barriques' thing. Barriques' is...

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January 4, 2006

Scalia's Dissent Unraveled

Ok, so, i finished writing the second part of my Law Review article, the part that deals with Scalia's dissent. I'm sorta afraid that it's crap. However, i at least now have a roadmap for my article. From my whiteboard: P might be prohibited. To prohibit it, courts must give reasons. If they do, then -P. If this is true, then homophobes can't argue that G -> P -> D. So, there is no slippery slope. Scalia's "parade of horribles" doesn't work. "P" means polygamy, "G" means gay marriage, and "D" means man marrying a donkey. You can credit James...

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January 3, 2006

Really, I'm Going to Get Shit Done

So, my apartment is still a mess, not much progress has been made on my paper (fucking library closed at 6 today, which was a pain in the ass because i didn't get there until 5:30), Smash still hasn't gotten his rabies shot, i haven't called the doctor about Buttercup's surgery and my car remains in shambles. And now i'm going to watch one episode (just one, i swear) of firefly. After that, i will finish writing about Scalia's dissent in Romer v. Evans if it kills me. This Onion article strongly reminds me of my life. Except that the...

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