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June 4, 2008

I Fucking Hate You, Hillary Fucking Clinton

I'm going to draw an analogy between what Hillary Fucking Clinton has been up to and a not entirely hypothetical from my own life. First I'll present what Hillary Fucking Clinton actually did, then I'll make a plausible analogy about myself. For context, I'll be using a hypothetical about the one time I've run for an elected position in my life: Law Review elections. What Hillary Fucking Clinton did: Acknowledge that the delegates from Florida and Michigan wouldn't count but then campaign there, anyway. Hypothetical analogy from my own life: Proxy voting is allowed at Law Review elections, but only...

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May 8, 2008

Concerning Rules and Metablogging

I assume that most bloggers are like me in exactly one respect: they all have unspoken rules for how they run their blog. This blog is a highly personal thing, so I try to maintain some sort of consistency, even though I doubt that anyone realizes that I do or don't do certain things, mostly because they're such strange things. One of these things, for example, is that I generally try to refer to people by the proper honorific and their last name. Sometimes--like when I get tired of writing "Mr." or determine that a certain combination ("Mr. Obama") just...

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April 30, 2008

What the Fuck Are We Paying Attention To?

For fuck's sake, people. Can someone sit me down and explain to me, using really short words, why there is a controversy over what Barack Obama's jackass of a pastor said? Seriously. I just want to make sure I understand what's happening here, so let's recap. Obama went to a church. The guy that delivered the sermons at that church made completely ridiculous remarks after Obama stopped going to the church. And that's the whole thing, right? I mean, I didn't miss something, like the part where Obama told the guy to say those wacky things? That didn't happen, right?...

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April 18, 2008

Yay Obama!

A while ago, I was having this conversation with a friend of mine about how I hated Hillary Clinton. My friend then accused me of not supporting her candidacy because she's a woman. That was fucking preposterous and, given my relationship with that friend, kind of hurtful because, as is now a well-established principle, I am not a sexist. I told my friend this, and then she asked me a question I couldn't answer: which of her policies do you disagree with? It's not that I agreed with all her policies, it's that I didn't know which of her ideas...

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March 25, 2008

Judicial Elections Are Stupid

Even before I went to law school, it seemed to me that electing judges--the people in our system that are most supposed to make decisions based on something other than what they happen to believe personally--is stupid. The federal system, at least as it was explained to me in sixth grade, made a hell of a lot of sense: in a representative democracy, you have to strike a balance between giving the majority what it wants and protecting the rights of the minority. Electing the legislature makes sense, then, because it means that the people that write the laws are,...

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March 7, 2008

Fascists Come in All Shapes and Sizes

As some of you may or may not have noticed, I love curse words. Although I have lately attempted to cultivate the ability to curb my use of swearing in certain circumstances, I nonetheless talk like a sailor in normal circumstances. It should come as no surprise, then, that I find South Pasadena's attempt to ban cursing to be, well, fucktarded. South Pasadena's City Council passed a proclamation making the first week in March "No Cussing Week." It's a largely symbolic gesture aimed at increasing civility and "elevat[ing] the level of discourse." Because there's no better way to elevate discourse...

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March 5, 2008

More Proof that Texans Are Idiots

So, Hilary Clinton won the primaries in Texas, Ohio, and Rhode Island. Barack Obama won Vermont and is still ahead by about ninety delegates, according to CNN. I did not see this coming and, frankly, it angers me. Not only have I never been as excited about a candidate as I am about Mr. Obama, but it's been my feeling in the past several weeks that many others feel the same way. And it's not just people who comment here, either. I've heard many commentators on TV compare Mr. Obama to JFK. And he definitely had the momentum--he had won...

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February 19, 2008

"The World as It Is Is not the World as It Has to Be."

It's been almost nine years since I turned eighteen. That means that the two presidential elections I've been able to participate in were the same two that George W. Bush won. That's not a great track record, but what's even worse is that, while I voted for the Democratic candidate in both of those elections, I didn't really like either one of them. The best I could say was that I disliked Al Gore and John Kerry less than I disliked George W. Bush. Neither of the Democratic nominees in the past two elections has resonated with me. In fact,...

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January 28, 2008

The State of the Union

I generally don't watch the State of the Union address, mostly because it's boring and dumb. It's not that I don't think politics and policy are interesting, it's that I think that the State of the Union, especially in the hands of untalented orators, is an extremely tedious exercise. The idea of our country's chief executive going to the headquarters of the Congress--the only branch of our government that is elected directly by the people--and telling them what's up is a very good, profound idea. But presidents tend to use the State of the Union not as a platform to...

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January 27, 2008

Of Repression and Butt Babies

Apparently, the FCC, those minions of repression and near fascism, have decided to fine ABC almost $1.5 million after it showed a naked female butt during prime time. There are a couple of things I'd like to say here. First of all, our society really needs to get its head out of its ass. Everyone has butts, just like some people have tits and vaginas and other people have cocks. It's not the fucking end of the world, and it's a stupid attitude to decide that all nudity is inherently offensive or sexual or whatever. I mean, seriously. Why do...

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January 9, 2008

My Political Strategy

Here's what I would do if I was Hillary Clinton. I'd call up Barack Obama and this is what I'd say:Look, dude, let's do this. You drop out of the race. Then, when I win the nomination--and I will. I mean, c'mon, Richardson is a joke. And did you even know that Kucinich was still running? I know, isn't that crazy? Anyway, I mean, there's Edwards, but he's just such a huge tool... Anyway, you drop out of the race. Then, when I win the nomination, I promise to make you my running mate. That way, look, we save literally...

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November 29, 2007

That's Cool--I Don't Know How to Raise Kids, Anyway

A Massachusetts state legislator has introduced a bill that would make it illegal for parents to spank or otherwise physically discipline their children. This, frankly, is astounding--I can't believe that someone would actually think that it is an appropriate use of the State's power to tell parents how to raise their children. I can think of few things that are more personal and private than the decisions a parent makes about how to raise children. I can't imagine that any parent would claim that anyone other than their children are more important or that any relationship is more important. If...

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November 5, 2007

Logic Should Bring Us Together

Although my opinions might sometimes suggest otherwise, our world is not black and white. I cannot accept that two political parties perfectly represent the views of the 300 million individual Americans. In fact, I'm not even sure that the Republicans and the Democrats do a good enough job of representing the views of the majority of the citizens. I know that neither perfectly represents my views, at the very least. So why is our country divided so clearly and bitterly? I'm not really sure, but I do know this: regardless of who's to blame, it's up to individuals to fix...

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November 2, 2007

Concerning Freedom of Speech and Homophobes

The father of a veteran who's funeral was protested at by Fred Phelps's crazy church won a $10 million verdict the other day. The church defended on First Amendment grounds but it was a civil case, so I'm not really sure what the First Amendment has to do with anything--the First Amendment doesn't preclude suits for intentional infliction of emotional distress, for example. Still, I think the underlying question--whether the First Amendment protects hateful protesting at a funeral--is interesting. As a preliminary matter, I think I should say that I don't think this kind of protest is justified, desirable, or...

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October 18, 2007

I've Got Nothing

The fact that my days currently consist of applying for jobs, watching TV, and playing video games means that I've got a whole lot of nothing to write about. There's not really that much I have to say about the news, either, so I'm not really getting any topics there. So I'll do what I generally do when I'm in this situation: I'll write a disjointed post with a few subheadings. Colbert for President You know, I love Stephen Colbert. But what the hell is he doing? Our electoral system and government in general are at a really discouraging point...

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September 5, 2007

Psych!

Senator Larry Craig is one hell of a practical joker. In the past few months, he's successfully punk'd America no fewer than three times. First, according to the police report, Senator Craig--obviously seeking to bring some entertainment into the life of an undercover agent relegated to airport toilet duty (what the fuck do you have to do to end up assigned to sit in an airport toilet stall waiting for someone to proposition you for anal sex, anyway?)--decided to humor the poor schmuck and, through the use of Bond-like signals such as "tapping your right foot" and "sticking your fingers...

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April 23, 2007

Charlton Heston's Hands Are Neither Dead nor Cold

One of my favorite things to do is read the opinion section in student newspapers. This has never been more enjoyable than in college, where the Lumberjack provided some of the worst-written, most incoherent student opinions ever. Good times, good times. Here at the UW, I usually read the Badger Herald opinions because, well, the Daily Cardinal sucks. Yesterday, I picked up the Friday issue of the Badger Herald and flipped to the opinion section. What I saw was shocking only because of its predictability: a student wrote a piece arguing that the Second Amendment is out of date. In...

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April 9, 2007

Back to the Real World . . .

I've still got a few spring break-related posts I've gotta put up, but I want to take a break from that and put up something about a few things I've been wanting to comment on. The death of Legal_badger. I knew this was coming, but I was still greatly saddened to see the l_b shut down. Although the blog started as a way to anonymously poke fun at the school, students, administration, and pretty much everything about this place, it grew into something a little more. It was still funny and irreverent, but it also served to point out ridiculous...

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March 22, 2007

Great--Now Everyone Thinks Mexicans Are Idiots

I'm sure many of you have been keeping up to date with the U.S. Attorney scandal centering on Attorney General Alberto Gonzales. To recap briefly, certain members of Congress (mostly, but not exclusively, Democrats), are upset at the firing of several U.S. Attorneys throughout the country. Although the attorneys serve at the pleasure of the president and, theoretically, can be hired and fired completely on the president's whim, the Attorney General has been accused of firing certain employees solely because they were not sufficiently loyal to the Bush Administration. Mr. Gonzales, for his part, has admitted that he made misrepresentations...

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March 1, 2007

"If You Have a Word Like 'Good,' What Need Is There for a Word Like 'Bad'?"

As a general rule, I am hard to offend. That's not to say that I'm hard to upset or hurt--those are entirely different things. But I am very, very hard to offend. In fact, I can think of only one time in my life that I would consider myself to have been "very offended." It's not clear to me whether this is because I have thick skin or because I've been lucky. Hell, it might even be that I just haven't been paying attention. But, yes, I can think of only one time when I've been extremely offended. And when...

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February 19, 2007

America Is a Bunch of Idiots, but New Jersey Apparently Is Not

Ghost Rider is the number-one movie in America? What the fuck is wrong with you people? What is it about those commercials that made you want to go watch it? Were you all drunk and laughing? I hope so, because that's how I want to enjoy the movie. But, seriously, you people flocked to this thing? That's inconceivable! I'm incredulous. To make matters worse, Ghost Rider took over the top spot from Norbit, a movie so bad one critic said "[f]rom start to finish, Norbit is dismally unfunny, inspiring this Sign of the Apocalypse observation: Big Momma's House 2 was...

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February 12, 2007

He Inhaled

Barack Obama has admitted that he smoked pot--and inhaled. He even admitted that he did cocaine "when he could afford it." And he even admitted that he considered using heroine. You can see the 60 Minutes video by going here and clicking on the "He Inhaled" link. My immediate reaction is that I respect his candor and honesty. I especially respect the fact that he made the disclosures some time ago in one of his books. Thus, although he was almost certainly aware that he might one day run for the presidency, the move doesn't seem as purely political as...

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February 8, 2007

Are You Fucking Serious?

As a general rule, I hate having the government tell me what I can and cannot do. In an ideal world, I think that a consenting adult, or a group of consenting adults, should be able to do anything as long as there are no direct negative consequences to anyone outside the consenting adult or group of adults. Regardless of what idealogy this idea is normally associated with, I'm not antiregulation per se; to the contrary, I think most laws are good, even where they violate the principle I've just laid out. In certain instances, the right of the group...

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January 25, 2007

Random Thoughts on a Boring Day

Un-fucking-believable! I seriously don't plan on blogging only about this class from now on, but this is fucking ridiculous. We just had to "register our clickers." Well, other people did--I don't have a clicker. Anyway, this was the most absurd thing I've ever been involved with in law school. Basically, people's names scrolled down the screen and, at the right moment, people had to push one button, then another. It was the stupidest thing ever. And, to top it all off, we're going to have to do it again on Monday because it didn't work this time. Fucking amazing. I...

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January 20, 2007

And Then That Happened

Hillary Clinton announced that she is, officially, forming an exploratory committee. That's not very surprising, obviously. But check out the video on her webpage. I think there are some pretty interesting things going on there. I tried to find a transcript of her announcement, but was unsuccessful. Therefore, all quotes from her announcement were transcribed by me. Sorry for if I get anything wrong. The first thing I noticed was that the camera movements are incredibly annoying. I know it's not anything substantive, but I found that pretty annoying. Moving on. "I'm not just starting a campaign, though, I'm beginning...

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January 16, 2007

Barack Obama Cannot Run For President!

I really think that Mr. Obama should not run for president in 2008. That's not to say that I don't think he should run eventually, or that I don't think he'd make a good president. And it has nothing to do with the fact that he's black. Ok, it has something to do with the fact that he's black. But let me explain. In general, I see two problems with Mr. Obama running in 2008. The first is that he's unlikely to win the nomination. The second is that, win or lose the nomination, he's in great danger of losing...

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December 20, 2006

Sam Brownback is a Fucking Moron

Janet Neff, a federal judge nominee, went to her friend's wedding. That's not very remarkable. It turns out, though, that the judge's friend is a lesbian and she married a woman. Still, not all that remarkable in my opinion. What makes it even less remarkable, of course, is that the ceremony took place in Massachusetts in 2002, the year before Goodridge v. Department of Public Health, 798 N.E.2d 941 (Mass. 2003), required that same-sex marriage be legal in the state. That means that the wedding Ms. Neff attended had no legal effect. It was merely a formal, although not legally...

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December 6, 2006

From My Cold, Dead, Overweight Hands

New York City has banned trans fat. I have to say that this is one of the most ridiculous exercises of legislative power I've ever heard of. I honestly can't express how fucking angry I am because of this law. Let me explain. It's my fucking body. I'm overweight, but I'm not an idiot. I don't eat healthy and I don't exercise enough. That's my fault. You know what, it would be great if I ate healthier food. I would lose weight as a result, and I would probably live longer. I wouldn't be winded after going up a flight...

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November 8, 2006

A Dark Day for the Land of Brats, Beer, and Cheese

Well, I have to say that I'm very sad right now. I'm disgusted that this state, a state I've come to love, is apparently full of homophobes. Listen to me. Letting two people who love each other, regardless of which reproductive organs those people happen to have, marry each other can't possibly hurt you. It's just incredible that people don't see that. I don't care what religion you are or what you believe or who you're married to or who you want to marry. That doesn't give you the right to tell anyone else that they don't deserve the same...

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November 2, 2006

Six Days . . .

The elections are in six days. That means that, in six days, we get to see if Wisconsin will be the first state in the country with voters intelligent enough to reject a constitutional ban on gay marriage. While I'd love to believe that the people of my state are not ridiculously homophobic, I doubt that we'll be able to pull it off. I don't understand why people support this thing. No one, not a single person, has been able to explain to me how allowing gay people to marry would hurt anyone, let alone straight people who are married...

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October 18, 2006

Stuff That's on My Mind

I noticed something yesterday as I was walking to school. Or, rather, I didn't notice something. That's right, those fucking cows are finally gone! Happy days are here again. I honestly can't believe that they kept them out that long. That's fucking bullshit. Two days of those ugly things was way too much, in my opinion. Apparently, a Massachusetts school has banned playing tag. That's one of the stupidest fucking things I've ever heard. Tag is what kids are supposed to play - that's just what you do. The game's got everything - running, screaming, chasing, tagging! And there are...

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September 7, 2006

Sometimes, It's Too Easy

"There are some people, and I'm one of them, that believe George Bush was placed where he is by the Lord. . . . I don't care how he governs, I will support him. I'm a Republican through and through." That's what Clydeen Tomanio had to say about the President in a CNN article about how Southern women are moving away from Bush. I'd like to sit here and parse out the logic - or lack thereof - of the statement. But it's just too sad. Instead, I'll ask some questions: How is it that Ms. Tomanio knows that God...

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August 17, 2006

Fuck Yeah!

So, in the Star Wars movies, the Emporer uses a classic ploy to gain power. First, as Darth Sidious, he arranges a blockade and then attack of the planet Naboo. As Senator Palpatine, he then convinces the ruler of that planet, the naive Queen Amidala, then only 14 years old, to call for a vote of no confidence in the current Supreme Chancellor, Vallorum. With the leader thus deposed, Palpatine plays on the sympathies of the Senate and is elected to the post of Supreme Chancellor. Then, he secretly orders a clone army that will be unquestioningly loyal to him....

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August 10, 2006

Little Green Bigots?

So, Little Green Footballs is a blog that's been getting a lot of attention lately. It's one of the blogs that helped break the story that the Killian Documents, which were offered as proof that George W. Bush's service in the Texas Army National Guard was less than exemplary on 60 Minutes, were forgeries. More recently, it helped break the story that a picture taken by a Reuters freelance photographer was altered using Photoshop. Given all the attention that blog's been getting, I decided to check it out myself, just to see what was going on over there. What I...

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August 3, 2006

Is Donald Rumsfeld an Idiot? You bet! Also, Bellatrix LeStrange and a New Family Member

Does he ask a bunch of rhetorical questions? Yes. Is it annoying as all get out? Gosh, yeah. Does he deserve to be shot? I think so. Do I have a link to some sort of corroboration about what I'm talking about? No, not right now. Would I appreciate one? Yeah, I think I would. In other news . . . Bellatrix LeStrange will be played by Helena Bonham Carter in the Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix movie and, hopefully, in the last two movies. I gotta admit that I don't know how I feel about it....

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July 15, 2006

"I Thought You Were Going to Ask About the Pig"

So, the President got really fired up about a fucking pig roast in Germany. How fired up? So fired up that even when a reporter politely implied that he should shut the fuck up about the goddamned pig, George Bush responded that he hadn't yet seen the pig, but would be happy to talk about the pig the next day. I'm all for talking about food. Especially exciting, awesome food like a whole roast pig. But when you're the leader of the free world and you're getting asked questions about Hezbollah, Israel, and a growing conflict where thousands of innocent...

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July 13, 2006

The American People Are Not in Control Here, Man

You know, for all the talk about how the will of the American people is what steers this country, that's not a realistic portrayal of how the Founders wanted things to be run. For example, Senators were originally appointed by state legislatures rather than elected directly by the people. When you vote for president, of course, you're not voting directly for the president but, rather, for electors who then go and cast their votes for president. And the members of the Supreme Court are appointed, not elected. This means that, according to the way this country was set up at...

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March 29, 2006

Two Things on Which I Must Comment

Ok, first, at Althouse's blog, she gives a link to this article. It discusses a conference during which Christians got together and talked about how they're persecuted. I want to take a moment to point out how stupid these people are. (I want it to be understood that it is not my position that all Christians are stupid - just that these particular ones are.) White evangelicals make up about one-quarter of the U.S. population, and 85 percent of Americans identify themselves as Christians. But three-quarters of evangelicals believe they are a minority under siege and nearly half believe they...

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March 27, 2006

Masked Justice

So, yesterday we filmed for Law Revue (the show). We have two movies this year: the first is Brokeback Hill, starring Walter Dickey and Michael Smith as wanna-be Torts professors. The second is Community Justice Commandos. I was involved primarily in the second one, in the starring role of "Commando No. 1." The Commando costume includes the following: black shirt, black pants, black shoes, black tie, black judge's robe, black ski mask and black sunglasses. In order to film it, Cole and i had to run around the law school in the outfit i've just mentioned beating up undergrads and...

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March 20, 2006

Spring Break: Day Three: Us Against The Man

5:17 pm We woke up this morning at about 11. It was a good night’s sleep. Zachar apparently talked in his sleep last night. About greyhounds. Our first mission was to get food. We went to the Denny’s across the street and liked it. Next, we went to Wal-Mart and bought a massive amount of food, as well as an electric George Foreman-type grill. This is the only way we can make our own food, it turns out, because grills are not allowed in the hotel or on the beach. We also got a bunch of hamburgers and brats. We...

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March 4, 2006

Penguins, Gays, and Stupid Fucking People

Apparently, there is a book called And Tango Makes Three. It is a children's book that retells the true story of a penguin egg that was "adopted" by two adult male penguins. According to the reviews at Amazon, it's for kids in pre-school through the third grade. It's illustrated and features cute drawings of a fuzzy little baby penguin and his two adoptive parents. It's cute and heartwarming and wholesome, right? Not according to this article. Apparently, at least two incredibly stupid, idiotic and just plain myopic parents have complained about the book being in the children's section because of...

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February 16, 2006

What in the Fuck Happened to America?

Ok, i want to get a few preliminary matters out of the way. First, i'm going to try to keep this post reasonable and composed. It may, however, veer into an all out rant as my anger on this topic is almost boundless. I'm also going to try to keep it fairly focused although, again, i may fail at this. Second, i want to assure everyone that my love for America is unlimited. To me, America is the country that, in just one generation, took my family from poor, uneducated, non-English-speakers and turned us into a fairly successful little group....

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February 14, 2006

Of Hate and Animus

So, some kids here at the University of Wisconsin vandalized the property of a homosexual RA. Vandalism is, of course, not cool. In addition, i don't personally believe that vandalizing someone's property because they're gay is cool, either. In fact, i think that's patently uncool. And stupid. Homophobia is stupid. Having gotten all that out of the way, though, let's consider the fact that the kids have been charged with felonious because their crimes, though misdemeanors, are aggravated because they're "hate crimes." This seems pretty fucking stupid to me, as well. To begin, let's consider what the homophobic vandals actually...

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February 12, 2006

Cheney = Homicidal Maniac?

So, Dick Cheney shot someone. I guess it was only a matter of time. Here's my favorite part: “Fortunately, the vice president has got a lot of medical people around him and so they were right there and probably more cautious than we would have been,� she said. “The vice president has got an ambulance on call, so the ambulance came.� I guess if you're constantly on the verge of your 17th massive heart attack, you'd better be prepared. Wonder what Cheney would do if he was poor?...

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January 28, 2006

The Inevitable Post

Filibuster. Do it. Now. Alito might be evil. I don't know. But we can't take that chance. And as for hurting your chances of regaining a majority in November, there are more important things. Under almost no imaginable circumstances are the Republicans going to win the presidency in '08. Bush has used up his "policital capitol" and the Republican party is starting to implode under the weight of its own corruption. Given a viable Democratic candidate, the Republican party has no chance. So, we've got this bitch on lock-down in 2008. Just two years after the mid-term elections. Whatever damage...

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January 26, 2006

Of "Never" and Executive Power

First, an explanation. The Spanish word for "never" is jamas (my spelling could be incorrect). Jamas is pronounced in the exact same way as "Hamas," the fringe organization that just won a majority in the Palestinian parliament. I wonder what will happen now that Hamas will be in control of the Palestinian Authority. Hamas has refused to redefine its goals and has, in the past, expressed the belief that Israel should be eliminated. How much of this and other goals Hamas will accomplish, or even attempt, remains to be seen. What i find interesting is the democratic question: did democracy...

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January 23, 2006

Of Rhetoric and Abortion

So, it has been 33 years since the Supreme Court decided the (in)famous case of Roe v. Wade, 410 U.S. 113 (1973), where it decided the U.S. Constitution protects a woman's right to have an abortion. There are a million different things that could be said about the controversial decision, and the few that i'm going to say here are, i'm sure, fairly unoriginal. First of all, i remember the first time i heard about abortion. It was sometime in elementary school. I can't exactly remember what grade i was in. The teacher presented the case without much bias, actually....

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