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July 17, 2008

I'd Totally Still Do Her, Though

Hayden Panettiere, the cheerleader from Heroes, is totally hot. She also apparently risks her life to save dolphins. And although she's a rich teenager in Hollywood, I haven't seen anything about how she's spending her nights doing blow off of guys' cocks in skeazy West Hollywood clubs. And, as near as I can tell, she hasn't nearly killed anyone with her car. Oh, and she's not the worst actress I've ever seen. So, you know, she's got some things going for her. What she does not have going for her is musical talent. Check out her music video: Now, unlike...

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June 20, 2008

Things That Make Me Unspeakably Angry

Twenty-two-year olds. My contempt for people my own age has almost no bounds, but my contempt for twenty-two-year olds is fucking brighter than a thousand fiery suns. It was Co-SME's birthday, so I briefly went to The Plaza. And what I saw there made me furious. What the fuck is wrong with these people? Skinny jeans on fucking everyone. And the girls that weren't wearing skinny jeans were wearing fucking trash bags and tights. What the motherfuck is going on with these people? But even that's not the worst of it. There was one guy there who was just a...

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June 6, 2008

Hell Isn't Hot, it's Humid

My god, the entire fucking world has turned into a swamp. Seriously, the goddamned humidity is at 83 percent. It's like walking around in a fucking sauna all day. Only it's not as hot, I guess, so that's good. But it's still bad. And I can't fucking handle it. Being from Arizona, I can handle heat. That's different than saying I enjoy the heat, but I can fucking deal with temperatures over one-hundred degrees. And I'd much rather do that than deal with what's going on right now. I feel like I'm fucking drowning every time I go outside. Everything...

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June 5, 2008

Grammar for Idiots, Part II

In English, we use the apostrophe for several purposes. Two of these uses are most common: we use the apostrophe to indicate that some noun possesses something ("This is John's book" or "That is my cat's favorite toy") and to indicate contractions ("I'll be back" or "He's more machine, now, than man"). We do not use the apostrophe to indicate plurality--ever. So all those fucking signs out there that advertise "CD's" are not only wrong, they are offensive. That's all fairly simple, I think, but now it's going to get complicated--if you're an idiot. See, people seem to have trouble...

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June 4, 2008

I Fucking Hate You, Hillary Fucking Clinton

I'm going to draw an analogy between what Hillary Fucking Clinton has been up to and a not entirely hypothetical from my own life. First I'll present what Hillary Fucking Clinton actually did, then I'll make a plausible analogy about myself. For context, I'll be using a hypothetical about the one time I've run for an elected position in my life: Law Review elections. What Hillary Fucking Clinton did: Acknowledge that the delegates from Florida and Michigan wouldn't count but then campaign there, anyway. Hypothetical analogy from my own life: Proxy voting is allowed at Law Review elections, but only...

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April 30, 2008

What the Fuck Are We Paying Attention To?

For fuck's sake, people. Can someone sit me down and explain to me, using really short words, why there is a controversy over what Barack Obama's jackass of a pastor said? Seriously. I just want to make sure I understand what's happening here, so let's recap. Obama went to a church. The guy that delivered the sermons at that church made completely ridiculous remarks after Obama stopped going to the church. And that's the whole thing, right? I mean, I didn't miss something, like the part where Obama told the guy to say those wacky things? That didn't happen, right?...

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April 29, 2008

What's the Point, Really?

I was walking to the courthouse here in Madison yesterday when I found that I was surrounded by people with signs and shit. There were about seven people, each holding antiwar signs. Some of them had slogans on them like "Honk to end the war." And a few passing drivers would honk. But I just thought to myself "What the fuck do you hope to accomplish here?" I mean, certainly you're not hoping to raise awareness. Everyone knows we're at war, right? I mean, most people do. And the people that don't probably can't even read your signs, so they...

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April 22, 2008

Messages to Random People

First message: There are a lot of things you might be, but one of the things you definitely are is a raging bitch. I mean, I know it, you know it, everybody knows it. It's ok--I'm kind of an asshole. It's just the way we are. Or at least that's what I thought. But today, out of fucking nowhere, you decided not to be a bitch and, instead, to be relatively nice. In fact, extremely nice. Why the fuck did you do that? Were you feeling bad for previously being such a huge bitch? Or do you just have some...

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April 18, 2008

Yay Obama!

A while ago, I was having this conversation with a friend of mine about how I hated Hillary Clinton. My friend then accused me of not supporting her candidacy because she's a woman. That was fucking preposterous and, given my relationship with that friend, kind of hurtful because, as is now a well-established principle, I am not a sexist. I told my friend this, and then she asked me a question I couldn't answer: which of her policies do you disagree with? It's not that I agreed with all her policies, it's that I didn't know which of her ideas...

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April 16, 2008

Fuck Kim Kardashian. In a Bad Way.

I think celebrities are stupid. I think that celebrities are, for the most part, worthless, vapid people. I think that people who are obsessed with celebrities are even stupider. I think it is extremely depressing that there are people in the world who think of Paris Hilton as a role model. Still, I check The Superficial several times a day. I do this for two reasons. First, they post pictures of hot girls at least several times a week. Second, they don't so much glorify celebrities as they do make fun of them. I love seeing people I hate fail,...

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April 12, 2008

Another Reason Why I Should Be in Charge of the Major Networks

I've made no secret of my love for the show Heroes. Well, let me rephrase. Approximately seven-eighths of the first season of Hearos was pretty much some of the best TV ever. Then that season ended and it was, well, not the best ending. In fact, it was one of the worst season finales I can think of. Then I got all geared up for the second season... and it kinda sucked. It was missing all the things that made the first season cool--you know, stuff like character development and a coherent story. Oh, and Hiro was in fucking feudal...

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April 9, 2008

Label Whores Are Idiots

I don't know if any of you ever go to the blogs in my blogroll, but I read most of them regularly. One of my favorites is In It But Not Of It, written by a guy who called mike. I agree with most of the random stuff he writes about and I enjoy his writing style. Recently, however, mike posted about how he spends his money on Lacoste polo shirts. And I thought to myself, "Jesus, that's an absurdly stupid way to spend money." Seriously, $100 for a fucking shirt with a stupid little alligator on it? That's fucking...

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April 2, 2008

Grammar for Idiots, Part I

In English, subjects and verbs have to agree. For example, "He runs" is correct, but "They runs" is incorrect. The latter should be "They run." When the noun is singular, as in "he runs," the verb must also be singular. When the noun is plural, as in "they run," the verb must also be plural. Now it's going to get complicated--if you're an idiot. You see, our language has many words for things that are really collections of other things. For example, instead of forcing us to say "a number of animals of the same species doing stuff together," English...

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April 1, 2008

They Deserve the Curse

I don't really like baseball. In fact, I actively dislike it. I think it's a boring, tedious sport, and I think that far too many of the people involved with it are unscrupulous pseudo-athletes, not to mention generally bad people. Still, one of my favorite memories from a few summers ago was watching the Cubs play at Wrigley Field with Mr. Vice, pH, and Emily-in-Chief. That was a just a good time at the ballpark, even though I hardly remember the game. One thing I do remember, though, was thinking how cool it was that there were all these bars...

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March 25, 2008

Judicial Elections Are Stupid

Even before I went to law school, it seemed to me that electing judges--the people in our system that are most supposed to make decisions based on something other than what they happen to believe personally--is stupid. The federal system, at least as it was explained to me in sixth grade, made a hell of a lot of sense: in a representative democracy, you have to strike a balance between giving the majority what it wants and protecting the rights of the minority. Electing the legislature makes sense, then, because it means that the people that write the laws are,...

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March 22, 2008

I'd Be Just Fine Without You

A friend of mine once described U2 as a band that people who know absolutely nothing about music really like. I think she meant that it's an easy enough band to enjoy but that they're really not all that special. I tend to agree, which means that the fact that some people call U2 their favorite band. I mean, ok, U2 was the biggest band in the universe at one point. But that point was twenty-five years ago--I think we can move on. I mean, sure, The Joshua Tree, and Unforgettable Fire were decent albums. But the fact is that,...

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March 10, 2008

Harbingers of Doom

We are fucked. Oil prices are breaking new records every day. We are mired in an endless war. Our President doesn't seem to mind torture. Our leaders are more corrupt than ever. Or perhaps they're not, which is even scarier. Yes, it seems that at almost every turn, we are confronted by evidence that our entire civilization is heading for the shit can. But the most compelling evidence that our culture is (rightfully) doomed comes from Hollywood. Yes, at a time when the entire entertainment industry seems to be completely out of original ideas and left with no option but...

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March 7, 2008

Fascists Come in All Shapes and Sizes

As some of you may or may not have noticed, I love curse words. Although I have lately attempted to cultivate the ability to curb my use of swearing in certain circumstances, I nonetheless talk like a sailor in normal circumstances. It should come as no surprise, then, that I find South Pasadena's attempt to ban cursing to be, well, fucktarded. South Pasadena's City Council passed a proclamation making the first week in March "No Cussing Week." It's a largely symbolic gesture aimed at increasing civility and "elevat[ing] the level of discourse." Because there's no better way to elevate discourse...

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March 1, 2008

The Whole Fucking World Is a Fraud

It seems like lately everyone is lying about everything. First, there was the whole A Million Little Pieces thing. Then, there was Kaavya Viswanathan, the "prodigy" novelist and Harvard student whose novel was discovered to be riddled with blatantly plagiarized passages. Then Marilee Jones, Dean of Admissions at MIT, admitted that she had completely made up several degrees she listed on her resume. And, perhaps most damaging to Mr. Utah, it was revealed that Bear Grylls is a fraud. And just today, these stories are on CNN's front page: Misha Defonseca, the author of a book called Misha: A Memoire...

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February 28, 2008

Ridiculous Shit that Happened Today

First, remember that special Best Buy was offering on Blackberrys? The one that jackass told me would be over last Friday? Well, I was at the Best Buy looking at something we need for the office today--something that was incredibly overpriced--and, just out of curiosity, I went and saw what the normal, nonsale price on the Blackberry was. To my shock, the price tag still said $79. Well, what the fuck is that, I thought. This sale was supposed to be over almost a week ago. So I asked the woman who was there if that was some sort of...

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February 26, 2008

If You Were My Daughters, I'd Disown You

Through the years, I've known a lot of people that were completely full of themselves. But none of the people I've ever met have been as completely and egregiously diluted as the two eighteen-year-old girls who are accusing Southwest Airlines of discriminating against them because they're too pretty. These girls sound like some of the most worthless human beings on the fucking planet. Let's take a look at some of the unbelievable treatment they were subjected to because of their unbelievable looks.As soon as they boarded, [Nisreen] Swedberg says she asked for a bottle of water and was told she...

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February 21, 2008

Apology to the Guy at the Best Buy (This Time, the One in the Cell Phone Department)

I acknowledge that I owe you an apology, Guy at the Best Buy, but let me explain my side of the story first. My phone contract with my current company is about to run out. That means I get to buy a new phone, which, for someone as obsessed with technology as me, is just way too fun. I was extremely excited to see, then, that Best Buy has the Blackberry Curve on sale for $80. That's a fucking bargain. But here's the rub, Guy at the Best Buy: my contract with Alltel, my current cell-phone people, doesn't expire until...

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February 6, 2008

I Hate the Phone Company

At least one of the reasons that I'm excited about starting up our own business is the fact that, at least theoretically, I'll be able to set my own hours. I say "theoretically" because I'm pretty sure that once we have a good amount of business, we'll end up working pretty much normal business hours, anyway. I know that it's hard for me to motivate myself to do work after 5pm. And, of course, we'll have to go to court and meet with clients, and we can't very well do either of those things at 11pm. Still, whenever those concerns...

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January 28, 2008

It Makes Me So Angry . . . . (Updated)

I am not an ad executive. I have never been to business school or even taken a marketing class. I have never written copy or tried to sell anything. I am completely naive as to what it takes to brand and sell a product. I want you all to keep this in mind for what follows. You see, although I am completely ignorant as to what it takes to market a product, I would assume--based on nothing other than common sense (which apparently tells some people that the ass is a reproductive organ)--that an advertising campaign that makes anyone that...

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January 27, 2008

Of Repression and Butt Babies

Apparently, the FCC, those minions of repression and near fascism, have decided to fine ABC almost $1.5 million after it showed a naked female butt during prime time. There are a couple of things I'd like to say here. First of all, our society really needs to get its head out of its ass. Everyone has butts, just like some people have tits and vaginas and other people have cocks. It's not the fucking end of the world, and it's a stupid attitude to decide that all nudity is inherently offensive or sexual or whatever. I mean, seriously. Why do...

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January 21, 2008

But There Was No Joy in Mudville . . . .

I can honestly say that I was more excited for the Packers-Giants game today than any other professional sports game ever, mostly due to the fact that this is one of the few such games I've ever been excited about. This after a lifetime of hating all sports. That started changing this year, first with watching the Badgers every week at L-Dawg and X-tina's. And then, when that was all over, Mr. Vice and pH got me excited for the Packers. The three of us ended up in a bowling alley watching the Packers-Cowboys game, and I didn't mind standing...

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January 19, 2008

With Apologies to Dee . . .

I watched the movie Gone Baby Gone last night. It was really, really good, which is hard for me to admit seeing as how there were two Afflecks involved in its production. But the movie was very well written and surprisingly unafflecky. And the younger Affleck did a very good job. Except in one crucial aspect of his performance: his infuriating Boston accent. Now, I've only been to Boston once--on a school trip when I was a little kid. I remember liking it a lot because we got to see a bunch of really cool American history-related things. I do...

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January 14, 2008

Where No Untalented Black Man Has Gone Before . . . . (Updated)

I'm just going to go ahead and admit this for anyone that hasn't already picked up on this: I love Star Trek. I never really liked the original series. I think it's cheesy, predictable, and boring. I can see past the amazingly crappy special effects, but most of the stories are transparent morality plays and, as a result, all the characters are either completely flat or absolutely overdone. No, my love of Star Trek started with The Next Generation. That show was awesome. I still remember being relatively young and getting really excited whenever Jean-Luc Picard would start doing his...

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January 3, 2008

Germophobes Are Stupid

One time in college, I was at a movie theater with some friends. One of my friends and I were in the restroom just before the show. We washed our hands, and headed for the exit. I noticed that my friend took his long shirt sleeve and wrapped his hand in it before touching the door handle. "What the fuck are you doing?" I asked him. "Can you imagine all the people who come in here every day and don't wash their hands and then touch this handle? I don't want other people's shit on my hand." "You're a fucking...

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December 18, 2007

Don't Call Me Ishmael

It had never occurred to me that my middle name--Ismael--might be difficult for white people to pronounce. I mean, Spanish is an almost completely phonetic language--how hard can it possibly be? Then, one time, I wrote it out for an extremely white friend of mine who was into scooters and the whole mod thing. Anyway, he pronounced it "Is-male" and couldn't conceive that he had pronounced it incorrectly. But that's hardly the most offensive mispronunciation. Although I doubt that many of the people that mispronounce my name have actually read Moby Dick, nearly everyone is familiar with that book's infernal...

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December 16, 2007

Kill 'Em All

I probably know as little about baseball as it is possible to know while still being able to correctly identify a baseball game in progress. There are bats involved, I think. And something about grand slams, although baseball grand slams apparently have nothing to do with breakfast items at Denny's. In any event, I don't know anything about baseball and I think it's a boring fucking sport and I'd rather gouge my eyes out with a baseball glove than watch baseball. While watching the Packers game today, the issue of the Mitchell Report came up. But I've read about the...

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December 14, 2007

Knight Industries Three Thousand?

So, Knight Rider, perhaps the best show of the 1980s, is, like everything else that was once good, bad, terrible, excellent, or mediocre, getting remade. That may or may not be cool, I'm going to wait and see. But the show's already got one strike against it: KITT will not be a 1982 Trans Am. Instead, it'll be a 2008 Ford Shelby Mustang: Now, I love Mustangs, and I think that the late-model ones, this one included, look really fucking awesome. I really like the pseudoretro design. But they're just not KITT. This is what KITT's supposed to look like:...

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December 6, 2007

Why the Fuck Is Amy Winehouse Famous?

Seriously? How the hell does someone like her end up not only famous but nominated for six Grammys, including four nominations in the top categories? That's fucking fucked up. Granted, I've never actually heard one of her songs, but just look at her: She actually looks frightening. And what is with that fucking beehive hairdo? What the hell is going on here? I guess I lied earlier when I said that I hadn't heard any of her songs. I have heard this: But, seeing as how she's just mumbling in a vaguely rhythmic fashion, I don't think it counts as...

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November 29, 2007

That's Cool--I Don't Know How to Raise Kids, Anyway

A Massachusetts state legislator has introduced a bill that would make it illegal for parents to spank or otherwise physically discipline their children. This, frankly, is astounding--I can't believe that someone would actually think that it is an appropriate use of the State's power to tell parents how to raise their children. I can think of few things that are more personal and private than the decisions a parent makes about how to raise children. I can't imagine that any parent would claim that anyone other than their children are more important or that any relationship is more important. If...

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November 25, 2007

New Poll

Alright, I really am going to do the one about stupid law suits. But not right now. Mostly because I'm lazy. Besides, I'm totally in the Christmas spirit now. I wasn't in October when they started putting up the Christmas decorations in stores. And I wasn't in November when there were a bunch of commercials for Black Friday sales. But, now that it's after Thanksgiving and it's actually almost December, I'm all about Christmas. I've been walking around singing Christmas carols to myself for a few days now. So, the new poll asks what your least favorite part of the...

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November 5, 2007

Logic Should Bring Us Together

Although my opinions might sometimes suggest otherwise, our world is not black and white. I cannot accept that two political parties perfectly represent the views of the 300 million individual Americans. In fact, I'm not even sure that the Republicans and the Democrats do a good enough job of representing the views of the majority of the citizens. I know that neither perfectly represents my views, at the very least. So why is our country divided so clearly and bitterly? I'm not really sure, but I do know this: regardless of who's to blame, it's up to individuals to fix...

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November 1, 2007

Apology to the Guy With the Scooter

Seeing as how I generally offend the vast majority of the people around me and, in some cases--as we're about to see--people who have never had any direct interaction with me, I've decided that I need to start apologizing to people. Seeing as how I rarely know the people I piss off, I think this is an appropriate forum. Now, here's the thing. L-Dawg and X-tina live downtown. There's not a lot of parking around there. Sometimes, I have to drive around their neighborhood for a good twenty minutes before I can find somewhere to park. And even when I...

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October 22, 2007

How Not to Write a Movie Review

I think I've mentioned before that I love reading good reviews for bad movies. A good bad-movie review can be really funny and entertaining. Like everything else, though, there are bad bad-movie reviews. And, of course, there are stupid bad-movie reviews. I found this example of a stupid bad-movie review, written by Armond White, the other day while looking on Rotten Tomatoes at the reviews of Tyler Perry's Why Did I Get Married?. Mr. White's review would border on offensive if it wasn't so stupid. So it promopted me to come up with a few general guidelines for writing a...

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October 6, 2007

I Hate the Care Bears

The fucking Badgers lost to the Fighting Illini. What a load of bullshit. I can't say it was unexpected, though, and, after the first quarter, I'm surprised the score was as close as it was. I mean, seriously. People often cite the Ronnettes' "Be My Baby" as the most perfect example of Phil Spector's wall of sound technique. Well, today's football game was definitely the best example of Brett Bielema's patent-pending Care Bear defense. Unfortunately, while the unprecedented depth that the wall of sound brought to mono recordings was a very good thing, the Care Bears defense's main feature--allowing the...

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September 26, 2007

Technology Makes My Neuroses Easier to Live With

I have absolutely no idea why, but I hate going to a store and knowing that the clerk knows exactly what's going on in my life or what I'm about to do based on what I'm buying. I hate going into a grocery store and buying just the ingredients for lasagna because the clerk knows that I'm going to make lasagna that night (and yes, I do know how to make lasagna). I hate going into a hardware store and buying just lightbulbs because the clerk knows that, somewhere in my apartment, a lightbulb is out. I don't know why...

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September 19, 2007

"The Hypocrites of Homosexuality"

One of my favorite books is Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card. Although it's ostensively a science-fiction book, it's one of the few pieces of writing that I think truly transcends that genre. Anyone--sci-fi geek or otherwise--would enjoy that book. Although I've known that Mr. Card is a member of the Chuch of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints for some time, I hadn't really cared too much. Then today, for some reason, I wandered over to his Wikipedia page, and found a link to an article he wrote called "The Hypocrites of Homosexuality." In it, Mr. Card discusses his--and the...

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September 13, 2007

I May Have Overestimated My Chances

That girl I went on that date with is back in the States, as it turns out. Not that that does me any good. While she was away, there was very minimal Facebook messaging contact. I didn't really get a good feeling about it. Then, I knew that she'd be back sometime this week, so I waited to see if she'd call. She didn't. So I messaged her on Facebook. She finally responded today, saying that she had a good time but that, right now, she's "involved" with someone, which struck me as rather odd. The way I see it,...

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September 10, 2007

Things that Made Me Angry Today

I went and watched Shoot 'Em Up with Mr. Vice, pH, and New Guy today. God, that movie sucked a whole fucking lot. I don't know if Mr. Vice is planning on posting a review, so I'll just say this: I thought about asking for my money back after the movie was over, but decided that getting my $5.75 back wouldn't be sufficient. In fact, if they had given me the fucking movie theatre itself, I still would have considered the day a loss. It was fucking terrible. But, strangely enough, the movie wasn't the thing that made me angriest...

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September 4, 2007

What the Fuck Happened to Coldplay?

I know I'm a few years late on this, but, seriously, why did Coldplay decide to call off being a good band? After some initial waffling following the release of A Rush of Blood to the Head, I have since concluded that Parachutes is definitely their best album. The first five songs off of Parachutes are all excellent--they each earn at least four stars on my iTunes list. "Don't Panic" is a great opener that really sets the tone for the album; "Shiver" is a really good follow-up to the first track; "Spies" is one of my favorite tracks on...

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August 31, 2007

I Hate Best Buy

Sending out resumes requires printing resumes. Since my printer was out of ink, it was therefore time to get more ink. That's simple enough, but it was still frustrating as all hell to get it done. The first problem was that I have a photo printer. Although my resume, cover letter, and writing sample are all completely in black, my printer refused to print anything at all because it said that it was out of several shades of color ink. I didn't see how that mattered, but the fucking thing refused to print. I had several extra cartridges of ink...

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August 29, 2007

Honor Shakespeare, Dishonor Nirvana

I went to see an outdoor performance of Much Ado About Nothing tonight. Although I have read several Shakespeare plays, this was the first time I actually got to see one performed. I thought it was pretty good, although I still think that Shakespeare is pretty ridiculous and the dialogue is sometimes impenetrable, especially when it's mumbled in an outdoor venue. Still, the outdoor stage made the whole thing much cooler, except for the part where it started raining really, really hard. But that only lasted for about ten mintues and, after a brief break, the play resumed. The second...

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August 16, 2007

Stevie Ray Vaughn

Seeing as how I have almost nothing interesting to say about myself or anything that's going on right now, either in my own life or in the world at large, I've decided to do what comes naturally: be pissed about things. The thing I'm most pissed about right now is Stevie Ray Vaughn. Some of you might think that I, as an aspiriing guitar god, should probably love SRV. But the fact is that the man sucks balls. Although I fully admit that he was an extremely talented guitarist, he is--along with Eddie Van Halen--a perfect example of why a...

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August 13, 2007

Apparently, "TLC" No Longer Stands for "The Learning Channel"

I'll probably post something else later, but I just thought I'd point this out. Although Mr. Utah has been arguing that TLC's programming has, as of late, been less about learning than about "reality" and house flipping, I maintained that the network still broadcast generally high quality stuff. But, as it turns out, I was wrong. You see, the channel supposedly dedicated to learning has agreed to broadcast the Miss America pageant. This is stupid for so many reasons, not the least of which is the fact that the stupid Miss America pageant needs to just go away. But, no,...

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August 5, 2007

Why the Fuck Is There a Song Called "Radar Love"?

I was driving around this afternoon listening to the local classic-rock station, The Lake. They usually stick to the pretty standard classic-rock stuff: the Beatles, the Stones, Hendrix, Led Zeppelin--that kind of stuff. It's usually pretty good, although they sometimes play some unmitigated crap--seriously, who the fuck likes progressive rock bullshit? Anyway, "Radar Love" came on. And I thought to myself "why the fuck does this sone exist?" It's such a terrible song! First of all, I hate call-and-response arrangements. If you can't come up with a better idea than to constantly switch back and forth between stupid lyrics and...

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June 27, 2007

Stupid Poser Fucks

It used to be that, in order to have a mohawk, you had to be a badass punk motherfucker. Mohawks also used to be relatively rare, and with good reason: what self-respecting individual would shave their head like that and make their hair stand straight up? Alas, those were simpler times. In the past few days, I've seen no fewer than five to ten mohawks. And, in case you're wondering, it's not like I've been frequenting the Club Inferno or anything like that. No, I've seen these mohawks on the sidewalk, at the Terrace, and even at the most god-awful...

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June 21, 2007

Fuck Everything. Just--Fuck!

Some time ago, I posted about what I thought of The Smashing Pumpkins' new song, Tarantula. As it turns out, the song is mediocre and, although my hopes had not been high, it confirmed that the new album probably wouldn't be that great. Well today, thanks to some anonymous poster, I know that the picture on the cover of the single for that song features Paris motherfucking Hilton. Why? How the fuck should I know? Here's the fucking cover: . I swear to god, Billy Corgan--what the fuck?...

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June 19, 2007

Stupid School Policies

There was a lot of talk when I was in middle and high school about school uniforms. Personally, I hate the idea. There are a few basic arguments in support of school uniforms, none of which resonate to me to any degree. First, there's the argument that, by making everyone dress the same, social stratification is reduced. Well, that's just stupid. Seeing as how I was an outcast for many reasons in addition to my cheap clothes, I can't really gauge how much of the high-school social-stratification problem (if it's a problem at all) is due to the brand of...

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June 15, 2007

Here's Something . . .

Good fancy crap, I've been busy. That, together with the laziness that's left over after I finish the stuff I have to do everyday, leaves me with very little time to write out a semi-intelligible thought on here. More importantly, however, absolutely nothing of great import has happened lately, leaving me without things to share. My lack of time has been so complete, in fact, that I haven't even really had time to keep up with any news, so I don't even have anything unrelated to me to rant about. I plan on fixing that right now. First of all,...

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June 8, 2007

Fuck You, Bono. No, Seriously.

If you go to CNN.com right now, one of their top stories is a video about how Bono, who's at the G8 summit, got so angry that he took his glasses off. The man takes off his fucking sunglasses, and it's fucking headline news. Am I in some bizzaro universe right now? If I push something off of my desk, will it fall ip to the ceiling? If I throw a ceramic plate against the wall, will it bounce like a rubber ball? Seriously, what kind of a universe am I living in? First of all, what the fuck is...

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June 5, 2007

Things I Cannot Live Without and Are You British or Retarded?