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September 30, 2009

seXterra the White

Yesterday morning, I got ready for work, walked out to my car, got in, turned the key and . . . it started normally. But, as I was backing out of my spot, it seemed that the car was being extremely sluggish. That's when I realized that, although the car had started fine, it had, at some point, stopped running. The radio was still on, so it wasn't immediately clear to me that anything was wrong--I couldn't hear the lack of engine noise or whatever. After my ham-fisted attempts to diagnose and correct the problem failed, I had the thing...

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March 12, 2008

Concerning Superman and Frodo

A lot of people I know that know comic books complain that Superman isn't a very interesting character because he doesn't have any weaknesses. He's faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, and able to leap tall buildings in a single bound. His skin can't be broken even by a nuclear explosion. No poisons can even slow him down. And, if the movies are to be believed, even time is but a mere inconvenience to the Man of Steel. Yeah, yeah, there's kryptonite, but what kind of a fucking contrivance is that? Superman's foes never outsmart him--he...

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January 26, 2008

Me and 9,999,999 of My Closest Friends

I have a deep, dark secret. One that only some of my closest friends know about. But it's time I come clean. I feel that, by hiding this secret from the world, I've erected a barrier between myself and the world at large that prevents me from finding real intimacy. So here goes. I play World of Warcraft. There. Now you know. Please don't judge me too harshly. It's a natural progression, really, seeing as how I played a hell of a lot of Magic: The Gathering in high school. Yeah, the girls loved me. For those of you who...

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November 17, 2007

You Probably Don't Measure Up

Although I have no evidence to support this conclusion, I'm fairly certain that there are a large number of female readers of this blog that want me. Like, sexually. While I'd love nothing more than to satisfy you all in some sort of huge orgy scenario, I'm really pretty much into monagamy. So here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to post some of the things I must and must not have in a woman. If this is you, then you win. If not, then please try to move on with your life and know that someday, somewhere, you'll...

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October 20, 2007

Dumbledore Did Seem a Little too Flamboyant . . .

Did you ever wonder why Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, the most powerful wizard in the world, didn't have a wife or children? I mean, there was never any hint about any sort of romantic relationship. I always thought it was because he was a man who was too devoted to his work to make time for a family, so he never allowed himself to get tangled up in the whole thing. It turns out, though, that it's because he was gay. Moreover, he was in love with the man he would later have to defeat--the dark wizard Grindelwald. Personally,...

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August 11, 2007

Tequila Night

As it turns out, I like Mexican food. Who would have thought? In any event, I ate so much ridiculous Mexican food tonight that I was neraly out of commission for tequila night. I swear, after chips and salsa, fajitas, water, and about sixteen margaritas, I was about to explode. And not at all buzzed. After some meandering, we ended up at the Silver Dollar, one of Madison's best dive bars. Co-SME showed up with his girlfriend, adding to the crowd consisting of me, pH, Mr. Vice, Mr. Utah, Emily-in-Chief, and New SAE. One of the night's main attractions, apparently,...

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July 23, 2007

"The Quest Stands Upon the Edge of a Knife."

I'm done studying. Fuck that shit. I can't handle a single second more of it. I think my mind is now so full of crap about invitees, grantors, defeasible fees, perfection, specific performance, and false pretenses that I've forgotten how to count. Seriously, how the hell am I supposed to hold all this crap in my head for any period of time? Oh, right, I'm not--I'm going to forget every single thing I've "learned" over the past few weeks the second I walk out of the exam on Wednesday. And let me tell you, I fully expect for that second...

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May 6, 2007

Of Odd Numbers and the Undying Lands

In the mythology of Tolkien, Valinor--the Undying Land--was an island off the West coast of Middle-Earth that was inhabited by the Valar, essentially the gods that ruled over all of Arda (that is, the world). To give some sense of the power of the Valar, Gandalf, Saruman, and Sauron--probably the three most powerful beings we ever encounter in the Lord of the Rings trilogy--were all Maiar, a race of inferior spirits created to serve the Valar. Long before Frodo and the War of the Ring, the Elves awoke on Middle-Earth. The Valar, seeking to protect the newly born race from...

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December 4, 2006

Concerning the Impending Finals and Advertising Justice

Not much is going on right now. Finals are about to kick into full gear--the last day of classes is Wednesday. I don't have a final for a little under two weeks, and I don't have my last final for a little under three weeks. I'm not flying home until the 23rd. That's ok, though. I'd rather take it relatively easy and give myself the time to really study than rush and be all stressed out. Speaking of studying, that's been really tough lately. It's not that I don't care or that I don't want to do well, it's just...

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October 23, 2006

New Poll and Save the Cheerleader . . .

Just watched the three-hour Heroes marathon on NBC. It was pretty much awesome. Heroes is definitely my favorite new show - I like it even more than Studio 60, which has yet to gel. Spoiler warning (highlight to read): What the fuck is up with Sylar? My theory is that he's like Peter - he can take other people's abilities, although he retains them. Or maybe he just has them all naturally. Regardless of how he got the powers, he's displayed telekenesis (which we haven't seen anyone else display), instantaneous healing, and flight or teleportation. Pretty awesome. Peter is becoming...

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October 14, 2006

The Law School Wins the Dean's Cup! The Law School Wins the Dean's Cup!

That's fucking right. After two years of losing to those med school fucks, we won! And by a score of 211 to 144, too. It was a fucking blow-out. My contribution, in terms of actual points on the scoreboard, was limited. Or, rather, non-existant. But I participated in several events. Well, just one. But, still, this victory is for everyone - especially me. I have to hand it to the Law School leadership, especially SBA President Kene Okocha. He is the man. The next big event is Monday, the Dean's Cup celebration, featuring the Med dean handing the Cup to...

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April 27, 2006

Dorks

Alright. The time has come for me to fucking comment on something. I absolutely hate it when people who are absolutely not dorks claim to be dorks in an attempt to be cool. Listen to me: if you're super-popular and very socially adept, great. But don't fucking tell me that you're a dork because you read Harry Potter. Look, unless you can do the following things from memory, you are not a dork. Just so you guys know, i didn't look any of this shit up: Lord of the Rings Give at least one additional name for Gandalf.Name both of...

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